Disclaimer: I wish I owned Skins, but I don't.
Author Note: This is quite a random Katie one-shot. I've been feeling a bit unmotivated/uninspired lately in regards to writing, and this came out. So I thought I'd share it anyway. Hope it's not a bit too much and please give me some feedback if you have any because it's just rather a bit random, so I'm not sure whether people will like it or not.
SET AFTER EPISODE 4 OF SERIES 4.
Title: I Never Do
The brick wall scraped up against her back, her skin becoming red raw from the friction. Two masculine hands clutching tightly to her hips as he pushed into her, faster and harder until he screamed out a name that wasn't even hers. She let him kiss her, let him slide his hands across her tits until he moaned his pleasure into her ear.
'Did you enjoy that babes?'
She rested her head against his shoulder, felt the tears tickle her nose as they passed down her face. She enjoyed the closeness, the feel of his arms around her as they stood in silence by the back door of the club. She swallowed the lump in her throat, nodded into his neck. When he pulled away and disappeared back into the club, she leant against the wall, allowed her weak knees to buckle beneath her as she sat down on the dirty, cold floor.
'I never do.'
*
The kitchen light blinded Katie when she entered the pokey room. The dark street outside was poorly lit from failing streetlamps and the tall, unfriendly block of flats shadowing even the lightest areas. Her eyes quickly adjusted to the bright bulb and she poured herself a glass of water to counteract the affects of the alcohol in her system. A note pinned to the fridge caught her attention.
Katie, you need to take James to Gordon's tomorrow, you'd better not go anywhere in the day, Mum x
'I never do,' she whispered, downing the last of the water, closing her eyes to the memories of her evening.
She brushed her teeth and walked past the open doorway of her parents bedroom. A loud snoring, akin to a vacuum cleaner from the nineteen-sixties filled the tiny corridor that was more a square than a rectangle. Just three doors; the third being the bedroom she shared with not only her twin sister, but her little brother too. Katie rested a hand on the doorframe, stared at the calendar they'd put there, at the date that would have been the start of her period, if she had them anymore. She pushed the door open and stumbled in the dark over clothes, shoes and magazines scattered across the floor. She stripped down to her underwear, slipping under the covers whilst glancing towards her little brother who's bed barely fit in the tiny room. It wasn't big enough for two of them, let alone three. She didn't mind so much anymore, things had changed and so had their relationship. James was still a pervy little idiot, but at least he'd matured some, in the weeks since they moved into the flat. She yawned, allowed her eyes to close again as she let sleep override her overly tired body.
*
Another night. Another guy. She kissed him, let her tongue slide into his mouth the second he looked up for it. His hands wrapped around her back, sliding further down until his fingers brushed the back of thighs. She pulled away, tugged on his hand and guided him through the crowd until they were in the toilets. A couple of girls re-applying their make up looked towards them with disapproval, but she didn't care. She pushed him into a cubicle, kissed him again whilst her fingers worked on the fastener of his trousers. It didn't take long until they were together, his hands pushing away the material of her top, his legs tucked in between her own.
'Wanna give me your number?' he asked, zipping his trousers back up afterwards and leaning against the door.
'Not gonna happen,' she whispered, sitting down on the closed toilet lid, picking at her cuticles until he unlocked the door and left her alone. It never did.
*
She returned to the same pokey little flat, the same tiny living space that she despised more than she'd ever despised sharing a room with her sister. She filled another glass, sipped on the liquid until it was all gone and noticed another note from her mother.
Katie, family dinner at 6, you'd better be there, Mum x
She would be there. She always was. Never missed a family dinner, only missed the hours later when she'd make herself up, put on her sexiest outfit and head for a club or bar. She brushed her teeth, washed her face and stumbled through her darkened bedroom, noticing the never empty bed that belonged to Emily. Her sister tossed and turned, never slept soundly anymore, never looked like she was enjoying the hours inside of her own head. Katie closed her eyes, felt the heaviness take over until she realised she felt the same.
*
The club was quiet, Monday nights were always the worst. She swallowed her glass of wine, caught the eye of someone down the other end of the bar. Their hair cut relatively short, not a usual style for guys. She sent a smile their way, moved closer as they did the same.
'Alright,' she smiled, wondered if it came across as fake as it felt.
'You're Katie Fitch, right?'
A nod of the head, her reputation proceeded her. It should have felt good, it didn't. She smiled again, sat down on the bar stool beside him and allowed her hand to accidentally brush against his thigh.
'What are you doing?' he asked, frowning.
'What do you think babe?' she asked, reaching out, cupping his face in her hands and sliding her tongue quickly into his mouth.
She wanted him, she needed him, she wasn't going to stop until she'd fucked him. He pushed her back, no one ever did that.
'What the fuck?'
'You're not gay Katie.'
'Obviously,' she rolled her eyes, kissed him again until she was pushed away once more.
'Are you fucking blind? I'm not a fucking guy. I go to your college, I sit across the aisle from you in history. My name's Gemma.'
'Oh,' Katie whispered, her eyes finally focussing on the outline of the girls breasts under her masculine top. 'Shit.'
Katie finished off her drink, closed her eyes and looked back up at the girl who was quite butch. She frowned, tried to place her, tried to remember exactly who she was. She was gay. She remembered Emily telling her who in college actually was and noting the stereotype. She bit her lip, tried to get away from her desire to have sex, regardless of who with. She reached out, wrapped her hands around Gemma's cheeks and slid her tongue back into her mouth.
'Katie?'
She let the girl pull away, 'Just a bit of fun, yeah?'
They stood up, hands interlinked together as they rushed through the club towards the fire escape. It was quiet out there, no one ever used it. So quiet that Katie knew it would be okay. When they reached the cold night outside, she pushed the girl against the door, slid her tongue back into her mouth and ran her hands up the inside of her legs. She didn't know what sex with a girl was like, didn't really care, just wanted to feel someone touching her, loving her like she always thought she deserved. Gemma didn't care, kissed her back, pushed her hands under Katie's tiny skirt until her fingers were inside her knickers and her hands were doing the work. Katie clutched her fingers around short, brown locks, reacted to the touch until tiny sobs escaped her, made her knees buckle in a mix of orgasm and pain. She'd gone too far. She'd finally gone too far. Yet she couldn't stop, couldn't make herself stop kissing the girl because it made her feel better.
*
The kitchen light was already on when she arrived home, no note on the fridge door, no clean glasses to drink her water. She washed her face in the bathroom, stared at her reflection until she hated the sight of it. She stumbled through her room, turned to face the wall the moment she'd reached her bed. She didn't want to think about anything anymore, didn't want to think about her sister tossing and turning in the bed next to her, or her brother moaning about tits and fanny. She pushed her hands over her ears, felt her body screaming out to be heard as it shook violently, the sobs increasing until she couldn't deny herself the tears any longer.