I am experiencing some trouble with a few of my stories, so I decided to write some one-shots/drabbles about Artemis Fowl. Some will be A/H. Probably no A/M since I don't like that pairing. Anyway I don't own Artemis Fowl and if you think I do; Get some glasses you idiot! I'm not Eoin fricking Colfer! There, I have said it. Enjoy!
"No mother! I won't wear those poor substitute of garments. What is wrong with my suit? It is very sophisticated and I enjoy wearing it".
Artemis Fowl the second and his mother wear in his room, having one of their rare arguments. This time regarding a promise Artemis made some time ago. A promise he regretted now he saw the determined look in his mother's eyes.
Angeline sighed, but kept holding the jeans in front of him. " Come on Arty, you promised! It's the least you can do after lying to me, your own mother. After mesmerizing me and keeping so much secrets. Besides, you will look great in them". " No mother, I won't! You know I despise those things greatly". " Arty! You are going to wear them. You promised! And it isn't healthy to wear suits. Do I have to call your psychiatrist? I'm sure he agrees with me it isn't healthy to always wear suits".
Artemis sighed. " No mother. You do not have to call him. And face it, it is all nonsense he says. It won't help me in any way and I can't even tell him what happened the past years. He would postulate I finally lost it".
Angeline showed him the jeans again, with a stubborn expression. " Arty. Try them. You promised. Do I have to remind you?". Artemis looked at the jeans with a horrified expression. If anyone had seen his look, they would have thought he was looking at some worms he had to eat. " No mother. I am aware I promised you I would wear those atrocius garments".
With the same horrified expression, he grabbed the jeans. Angeline smiled and hugged him. " Good! I'm glad you will. And you promised another thing Arty".
Artemis look at her, with a frightened expression. His thoughts wandered back to what he had promised. He had been in another deadly situation that time and he hadn't had a lot of time to talk to his mother. He almost groaned when he remembered. He had promised her to wear a T-shirt too.
Why does she torments me like this? he thought with a little self-mockery. He knew he was being a little dramatic, but Artemis had never felt comfortable in 'normal' clothes like jeans. He felt comfortable in suits, they were more his style.
He focused on his mother again, deciding to act like he didn't remember. He honestly didn't want to wear a T-shirt with some nonsense on it. " What did I promise mother? I don't recall". Angeline smiled. " You promised to call me mam Arty".
Artemis almost let out a huge sigh. Almost. He smiled at his mother. " Sure... mom, I must have forgotten. My apologies".
Angeline rolled her eyes. " You could stop being this formal Arty. I'm your mother, not some business associate". Artemis smiled. " I know that mom. I will try". " Thankyou. And now go and change. I'm dying to see you in jeans. I'm sure you will look great".
Artemis sighed again and looked at the jeans. He hesitated, considering saying he had some meeting he had to go to, but knew his mother wouldn't fall for it. She was too smart. So he decided to wear the jeans. He owed her that much.
" Yes mot-mom I mean". Angeline smiled. She turned and sat down on his bed. " Just go change Arty. I will wait here".
Artemis nodded and walked into his bathroom. He had just changed, after a few d'arvits, into the dreaded jeans when his mother walked in.
He turned, startled, and paused when he saw her face. She was smiling, her eyes sparkling with some emotion that he didn't trust. She looked rather misschievious.
Artemis raised his eyebrows. " Mom. Why exactly are you in here?". Angeline smiled. " Oh nothing Arty. I forgot something that is all".
She looked at him, her eyes going up and down. Artemis blushed a little, feeling uncomfortable. " Well, what did you forget mom?".
Angeline smiled, her eyes still sparkling. Artemis felt his heart beat faster. He had an idea he wasn't going to like what was coming next. And he was right, of course. Because his mother showed him his what she had been holding behind her back; a T-shirt.
" Mother...". Angeline sighed. " Arty, what did I tell you?". Artemis sighed. " Fine. I will wear that ridiculous garment mom".
Angeline chuckled. " Now you sound like a real teenager Arty. Thank you". "De nada. Can you please leave now, so I can change?". Angeline laughed. " Shy Arty?" she teased.
" No, but I prefer to change while no one is looking at me". Angeline laughed again and gave him a kiss on his cheek. " Sure Arty. I will wait outside the bathroom".
Five minutes later, Artemis walked outside the bathroom and was immediately blinded by the flashlight of a camera. " Aw Arty! I knew you would look great" squeeled his mother, holding a camera in her hands.
Artemis stared at the camera. " Mom? What are you going to do with that picture?". Angeline smirked, the notorious smirk Artemis had used so often. " Make it our christmas card of course! Finally, I have a good picture of you". Needless to say, Artemis wasn't happen during Christmas.