Diarey of Fez
September 18th, 1976
Deer Diarey,
My nam is Fez. I just movd to the Poynt of Plas in Wisconsin. My Amerikan house parents gived me this little book to leern how 2 rite in English, you call it a Diarey. Ever since I goten hear everyone hav bin reelly nice. Wen I walk down the streat al the gals lauf whil the guy hit there horns. 2morow is the first day of skool. I hav a feelin I'm going to B real popular, yes? Well, wish me luck!
I luz u,
************
September 19th, 1976
Deer Diarey,
O, Mi, Gawd, skool was great. The fowtbal teem really likes me, they ascked me if I wanted to hang out, so they but me in they closset and hung me up. They called me a loser, I am not completely positiveiive wat that means, but it sounds good 2 me. These really kind men helped me out of the closet. 1 had curly hare that I wanted to run my fingers threw, another had a face that looked like gold, he was beautiful. And the other, was OK, not 2 special. They were soooo hawt, yes?? Well, they gav me there fone number so we can hang out, I think I'm going to hang out with them.
With Luz,
Fez
They gav me that nikname, wow! I'm so kool.
September 20th, 1976
Deer Diarey,
I went 2 the arcade with me nuew freinds! I remember their names Kelshmo, Hide, Erick, Doona, and Jakie. Kelshmo and Jackie are dating which means they french eachother al day long. French is another way 2 say makeout or kiss with tongue. The women had the most excellent breasts, they maid me feell al weird and tingly. I'm a litlle confused though, Doona and Jakie went 2 the potty room together, but when I asked Erick to come with me. He sayed that guys dont do that. I gess it is just an Americkan traditione. Jakie is the most buetful gal ever! I want 2…how they say…do it with her. Kelshmo beter be careful. I think she likes me back! Kelshmo is sooo lucky, he neber listens 2 Jakie but he has her. 4 example, she asked for a coke, and he sayed he had NO mony. If Jakie asked me I wold hav mony. Doona and Erick are also dating, Erick really want 2 do it with Doona but she won't let her. Doona has the most gorgeous breasts, every time she walks they bonse up and down. Ahh..so pretty. Well someones nocking on my bedroom door, I beter put some clothes on.
Until Later,
Fez
Man..I luz that name
October 2nd, 1976
Deer Diarey,
Sory that I didn't rite for such a long time, I hav bin very bussy lately. I met Erick's parents his mom wuz Mis Kitty, ohh…Mis Kitty. Her hare..flawless…her smile…golden…body…ripped but sexy…..and her laugh….bubbly and flirty. I kissed her when I met her, in the beginning I wasnt getting anything, but bye the end, I was getting something. Her lips were so soft and tender, like eattung a marshmelo. Wait, I didnt think about this, wat if Jakie saw me, it wood hav brook her pretty litlle heart. Oh yah..she couldnt hav seen me, cause rite after I met the foremens, I hid in the shower and watched Jakie and Kelshmo make out. It was terriblle, she al over Kelshmo, like a puppey dawg on a new bon. Riting of puppy dawgs, Kelshmo took me 2 his house, there are dawgs everywhere!! Some had wite stuff coming out of there mouth, Kelshmo sayed not to touch those dawgs or doctors would have shoot me…I don't under stand why doctors would shot peole who got bit by dawgs…it doesnt make any sense. Now back 2 Ericks parents..Kitty…amazing…Reed…..not so much. He was a….wat did Hide cal him……ohh yah hard ass. Reed was completely bald, when I tried to feel it…his face turned bright red and began to look angry and caled me a dumb ass…..he was even angrier when I tried 2 kiss him. Then he told me he didnt allow foreigners in his house. In the war he fights in…he sayed he killed people like me….isnt Reed so funy. But it wasnt all fun and games, some things got reall serious. Ericks grandma died. I remember when she came over 2 visit, we were BEST friends, we baught ice cream, watched TV and movies, and reed story books. I cryed for 3 hours strate when I found out she died, Hide told me to suck it up. Its confusing….there is nothing to suck. I also tried beer for the very first tim, the alcohol was incredibl. After I drank like the hole keg, I felt reall silly and I couldnt walk a straite line, then I threw up all over Erick. He was like WAT THE HELL!!! Hide also taught me how 2 do something else, I forget wat they called it. We all sat in a circle and got umm…..I think they called it getting baked. Its reely hard 2 remember wat we talked about, I just remembered it was reall relaxing and I laughed alot. Hide showed it to me….he is so kool. I wish Jakie wood hav done it with us, she mite hav let me do naughty stuff. Jakie is so fashionable, her outfit r put together soooo well….just like mine. I want a girlfreind so badly, someone I can rite songs 4, fool around with, and tell al my secrets 2.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Fez
The koolest kid around
October 15th, 1976
Deer Diarey,
I'm kinda in a rush rite now! But I was in the movie theater with Kelso….he told me how u reely spell it…and Jakie. I had the poped corn in my hands and Jakie was eattin out of it. As it got deeper and deeper her hand wuz getting closer 2 my pants. She was tottally into me…..if she wasnt she woodnt hav kept digging down and down. I loked over and saw that Kelso wuz asleap. I kissed Jakie passionnattly….with my tongur rrrrolling in her mouth. She wuz soooooo into it. But Kelso kind of woke up and saw my tonge in Jakie's throot, her puniched me unessissariy hard in the head, it throbbed. I had a black eye but it was so worth, Jakie was into it and after we finished, she wuz smiling. Got 2 go to The Hub for a burgir and frentch frys, Amerikan food is soooo delicoious.
Your own,
Fez
October 31st , 1976
Deer Diarey,
I neber had soo much fun in my entire live. Yetredday was a holiday caled Halloween, it is the time of yeer when you get to dress up and get free candy. Ahh…..I love candy. I dressed up as batboy….I think……anyways a few son of a few bitches gav me fruit…..no not candy fruit…..just plain old fruit. But I got a ton of Sugar Babies, there my favorite candys, I ate so many that I got sick and threw up on Doona, she called me The Vomitting Perv. I like that nik nam, it has a good ring to it. At the beginning of the evening we watched Texas Chainsaw Masicur, someone sexy woman took her shirt off. Then we went to the gangs……thats wat I cal them now….the gang…..old skool. Hide kind of burned it down. Hey…when Donna was in kindergarden she had a problem when it came to keeping her clothes on, what I wood hav givin to be in that classroom. Their was a HUGE issue that left everyone freaking out………I thought that someone stole some of my candy, but dont wory, I was just sitting on it. Well, I better get to sleep, its been a long hard day.
The sexyest guy on earth,
Fez