A/N: I can honestly say that I've never written anything like this before, and I'm not quite sure where it came from… It just appeals to my sense of humour, I guess. I shall dedicate this to my dear friend Willowwind just because it amuses me how 'Innuendo', the inspiration for this fic, of course, just goes right over her head. Hee. Enjoy, folks!

Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran!

Innuendo

Kyouya was not happy. He was running late, and that was never good- not to mention hypocritical, the amount of times he had pulled Haruhi up on it. The later the club started, the more they lost; or rather, the less they gained. Time was ticking.

It was all Tamaki's fault anyway.

He'd been the one to insist that the club staged a musical.

He'd been the one who had sworn he'd got all the appropriate permissions to dig up the school grounds to have a stage built there.

But it was Kyouya who had organised it for him. So it was Kyouya who had ended up taking the blame.

Needless to say, Kyouya would never trust Tamaki again.

Ever.

Actually, he wasn't sure why he had to begin with.

Idiot.

As such, he was not in the best of moods to find that the Host Club had not started as it should have done, but that twins, Honey and Mori were hanging about outside the doors looking appalled. More than likely, Tamaki had sent out a search party for him. Kyouya's annoyance was growing- the idea that a single one of these people would control a major company some day filled him with abject terror when it seemed they were incapable of even doing what they did everyday.

"Kyou-chan!" Honey called in hushed tones, seeing him approach. He was ssh-d by the twins, but Kyouya disregarded it for the moment.

"What are you all doing?" He demanded, aggravated. "And where are the designators?"

"Kyouya-senpai, quiet!" Kaoru whispered, urgently. "We had to ask the ladies to leave…"

"Why?" Kyouya asked, teeth gritted, barely reigning in his anger.

"Tono and Haruhi beat us here… and it sounds like they're busy." Hikaru answered, sounding none too happy himself. Kyouya, however, was in no state to decode his heavily laced tones.

"What?" He demanded.

Hikaru beckoned him towards the door to the music room. "Listen!"

Rolling his eyes at this stupidity, Kyouya placed his ear to the door and listened. Sure enough, he heard Tamaki's voice drifting through- but only just; he was speaking quietly, just audible from this distance.

"No, down a little… A little further…"

And then Haruhi's.

"Down? Really? Because I thought-"

"No, Haruhi… Right… There."

Kyouya took his face away from the door, rearranging his glasses. "Oh, my."

From inside the room, the voices were getting louder.

"Where are the others?" Haruhi was wondering.

"Does it matter? We're having fun, right?"

"But what if they come in…?"

"Never mind that. Look at this, right here. That's all you need."

"Senpai, I don't know if I can do this." Haruhi protested, weakly.

"Come on…" Tamaki wheedled. "No-one else is around. Just for me, please?"

"I don't know…"

"I promise, it's easier once you get the feel for it…"

"…Alright."

There was silence for a moment. Then Haruhi's voice came out again.

"Senpai? You can take your hand off now."

Hikaru twitched.

"Don't stop now, Haruhi! Press down! Now!"

"That's it!" Hikaru yelled, bursting through the door to the accompaniment of a clashing cacophony of notes on the piano.

"Hikaru, you made me mess it up!" Haruhi accused, childishly disappointed. The other hosts looked over to where she was sitting on the piano stool, Tamaki standing behind her.

"After she was trying so hard! I hope you all have an excuse for being late!" Tamaki said in what he evidentially considered to be a stern tone, grabbing the music off the stand and waving it at them accusingly. Then he turned back to Haruhi. "Don't fear, my daughter, we will have another piano lesson another day!"

They blinked at them.

"You were teaching her the piano, Tono?" Hikaru asked, in a strained voice.

"Trying to." Haruhi shrugged, standing up. "I've never been very good at music."

Kyouya couldn't think what to say. So he started heading back towards the door. Just as he was about to walk out of it, Tamaki called out to him.

"Kyouya! Where are you going?"

"Home. The designators have gone, and I really can't deal with this today."

Tamaki had no time to question what 'this' was as he suddenly noticed the twins were in the process of glomping Haruhi and he had to go and rescue her.

In the meantime, Kyouya called for a car. He could feel a headache coming on.

Idiots.

A/N: There. Didn't I say it was short? Ah well… If you liked it, vote England in the Eurovision tonight! Yes, I know ours was way worse then every other song in the contest, but I think it'll be amusing if we can get votes in a single digit… Hee again.