Hey, time for my very first attempt at coming relatively close to a good fic! I've realized, after my disastrous attempt at writing a long story in the Trigun section, that my attention span is too short right now to pull that off. So for a while you'll be seeing me in different sections, trying out a few new things.

As for this fic, I believe it will be a one-shot, nothing more, unless I get a huge response from it. I'll try to keep everyone in character. Review! The little button needs a good click!

Within and Without

As he wandered through the dismal, gray city, head down and in ignorance of the people and things around him, not a single thought permeated his subconscious. Every image was subdued and dispelled in the vacuum of his mind, like air in space. What kept him moving was beyond Spike, but something within himself wouldn't let him sit and rest.

A sharp tug on his sleeve pulled him out of the reverie, and forced him to peer into the dirty face of a child. Emaciated and pale, the little boy's body was a testament to the terrible existence he now endured.

"P-please mister. You got anything to eat? I'd do anything for a little cash, if you don't got anything on ya." The older man's silence and unchanged expression didn't cause the boy to falter; he pulled on the torn sleeve once more. "Please sir. Anything will do."

Without a word or another glance, Spike side-stepped and walked away, not hearing the pleas. Listening took thought and thought was… unacceptable. His ears rang with a shrill, unearthly sound as he continued past the destitution around him. He could no longer feel the cold, no matter how many people sat along the street, huddled together. Noticing anything about these homeless people would cause thought, and Spike couldn't handle thought right now.

Past, present, future, why did it matter so much? Any time would be comprised of one simple truth - pain. Not that Spike could feel pain any longer, but he remembered it. His mind slowly squeezed the thought until it died, and Spike lost even that slight remembrance of the pain. Everything was gone except now. And what was there to remember about now? The nothingness was soothing.

He continued on, never changing his pace nor turning at all. Things around him didn't matter, he just simply had to keep moving. Suddenly, he caught sight of something that punctured into his subconscious, resisting its crushing force. Spike couldn't breathe.

A cemetery.

Underneath carved stones, the worldly remains of those whose souls had gone on resided, becoming less and less like their former selves as time wore on.

'So useless,' Spike thought, his first in a long time. He felt the memories coming on, and began to run in fear.

'I'm dead,' he told himself, stumbling in his haste. 'I can't remember, or feel, or think, or anything! I just want to rest!' He ran on, leaving the city behind and heading across a grassy field, dotted with the colors of wildflowers. Finally, fatigue overcame Spike and he was forced to abandon his furious pace; but that was okay. He could be alone here and not have to worry about thinking or any other things that only pertained to those still alive. He flung himself to the ground, oblivious to his surroundings.

"You can't run forever, you know."

Spike quickly sat up and searched for the speaker, stopping as he found the source. "J-Julia?" he inquired softly. His voice wavered because he hadn't spoken in a while.

Do ghosts speak? Spike didn't think so.

The young woman sitting in front of him had her knees pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapped protectively around her legs. She was turned sideways to Spike, and as she looked up at him , Spike relaxed; it wasn't Julia. The girl shared her wavy, golden locks and her immense beauty, but nothing more.

Spike stood and brushed the stray grass off his clothing. "If you're not Julia, who the hell are you?" He gritted his teeth as he said this, thoughts pervading his mind.

"You can't run forever," the girl repeated. She gracefully climbed to her feet. Her white dress traveled to about mid-calf, ending in lace. There were pink flowers in her waist-length hair, and Spike felt caught in her unusual gaze; one eye was a beautiful emerald, the other a fathomless sapphire blue.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Spike spat at her. "I'm dead. I don't have anything to run from anymore."

She took a step closer. "Are you sure? I think you aren't believing it yourself." Spike guessed her age to be around nineteen or twenty. He took a step backward.

"I am sure. I once said that one of my eyes can see the past, but I can't see anything anymore. I don't want to see past, present, or a future! Hell, I don't even wanna be here. Can't I just rest a while?" In reply, the girl gestured to a small pond that he hadn't even noticed before. Confused, Spike bent over and stared at his own reflection.

His eyes were still as mismatched as the young woman's. Spike gasped and jumped back.

"Am I in Hell or something?" he asked with more than a little panic in his voice. "'Cause I thought since I'm dead I wouldn't need the mechanical -" He stopped and turned to the girl. "Am… am I dead or not?!"

She simply shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know."

Frustrated, Spike shouted, "Well, what do you know? Anything?"

"I'm not even quite sure what your name is."

Spike groaned and threw himself down again. The girl walked to him and squatted down beside him. He threw her a defiant glare. "Okay, what about you? Are you dead?"

The girl let a giggle escape her lips. "What's your obsession with being dead, huh? Aren't you even gonna ask my name before you start with stuff like that?" When she received silence in return, she giggled again. "My name is Coronis. What's yours?"

"Spike," he muttered.

"That sounds kinda like a dog's name…"

"Excuse me?!"

"I hope it isn't your real name…"

Spike cleared his throat. "Whatever… You never answered my question. Are you dead or not?" Coronis sighed.

"Again with the dead thing… I'm honestly not sure…" she said slowly, as if contemplating it herself.

"If you don't even know if you're dead or not, how am I supposed to take your 'you know you can't keep running away' crap seriously? Are you even a person?"

Coronis rolled her eyes. "What a stupid question. Come on, let's walk." Spike stood up once more and hesitantly followed her up a sloping hillside. Even he had to admit, the place was beautiful.

When Spike neared the top, he could feel the wind start to pick up. It gently rustled his clothes and bushy hair and had a calming effect.

"This place is… nice," he said to Coronis's back. "Where is it?" The wind caught her hair and dress. For a fleeting second, Spike caught sight of the design drawn on the back of the white gown: a pair of wings. Coronis turned around with her hair blowing across her face.

"It's nowhere and yet it's everywhere all at the same time," she said in the same mystical tone she'd used the first time she'd spoken to him. "It's where lost souls wander I guess. But you're the first person I've met here." She pointed behind him. "That city you came from, it's also where lost souls reside. But those who are restrained there were lost in life as well."

"Hmmph," Spike grunted, crossing his arms behind his head. "How come I didn't stay there then?"

Coronis laughed. "Another thing I don't know. You have a lot of tough questions." Her smile faded and she sighed. "But I guess I should answer you about being dead or not. I think that you are technically dead, but something is keeping you from going where you belong. Something is still connecting you to life."

Spike glared at her. "Damn, I can't even die right."

"You are weird beyond all reason," Coronis commented coolly. "But I wanna know more about you so I can figure out what's going on. Hold still." She reached out a hand. Spike almost dodged, but managed to contain himself as she placed her cool palm on his forehead. Her eyes widened and she pulled away.

"You- you… you felt my touch, didn't you?" she asked, shocked.

"Yeah, so?"

"This is great!" She grabbed his arm and started to drag him west. "We have to beat the setting sun!" she shouted.

"What?! Wait, where are we going?" Spike yelled back, but still ran full speed behind her.

They ran forever it seemed to Spike, and he become winded. When Coronis finally stopped, he was gasping for air. "All right," Coronis said with a smile. "We made it with time to talk!" She sat down and Spike quickly followed suit.

"So… what… did…you… find out?" Spike asked between gasps.

"All I needed to know," she answered. "Spike, your problem in life was you never had any faith in anything except pain and misery! That's no way to live. Everyone has a reason to carry on, to get up in the morning, but I don't think you ever had one!" She stared into his eyes with her intense gaze. "Every life has a purpose! Every single one."

"And I've completed my life's purpose - killing Vicious. That's all that needed to be done," Spike said in an icy tone.

"Do you honestly think you were put on Earth to kill someone else? That's a little audacious. I'm not saying that it's gonna be something big, or that you haven't already fulfilled it, but your life has a better purpose than that! And because of your lack of faith, you've never really lived. You've been dead for so long Spike."

"I know that, but I just can't see living anymore." When he looked up, sparkly tears had formed wet trails down her cheeks.

"Ultimately, the choice is yours Spike," Coronis said in a hushed voice. "I think you deserve to live, really live for once. Please say you'll go back."

"What? I can go back?"

"Yes, if you hurry. Say you will."

"I dunno… What if I don't go back?"

Coronis frowned. "You'll spend an eternity here. Which, by the way can be very boring."

"How am I just supposed to choose?! This is ridiculous! I don't even know how to get back!"

She looked at him. "When the sun sets, you'll return to your body if you really have a desire to live." He looked further westward; the sun was a sliver on the horizon. "You have to choose."

Spike looked down at the ground. His life - well, non-life - flashed before his eyes. He remembered good times and bad, and looking once more at Coronis, he remembered a similar woman, slowly falling to the ground.

"Is this a dream?" she'd whispered, her life slipping away.

And Spike made his decision. The sun faded even further.

He looked down at Coronis who stared up at him, the question in her eyes. "So, one more question." She nodded solemnly. "Are you an angel?" She laughed, as the last bits of sunlight faded.

"I have a question for you," she said in near darkness. "When you left the Bebop for the last time, you said you were going to see if you were alive. Did you find your answer?"

"Yes," Spike said, as the darkness swallowed him, "yes I did."

Whoa, was that deep or what? And I think this is the only Cowboy Bebop fanfic where no one smokes a cigarette! Holy crap! Is that possible? Anywho, review (NOW please) and please don't flame me if you can manage to contain yourself. I love you guys!