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Disclaimer: Na-na-na-na! I'm sure you got the point.
Summary: Nothing else could make Casey's life better than… Derek's head on a silver platter?
Author's Notes: I just wanted to write something slightly short once this idea popped into my head. It's kind of a funny/dramatic/fluffy moment in the lives of Life with Derek. Hope you enjoy!
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Head on a Silver Platter
By: True Love Lives Forever
"Sam, could you, please, pass me Derek's head on a silver platter?" The words came out of Casey's mouth without a hint of regret, accompanied by icy daggers directed at Derek.
At the time, the MacDonald-Venturi household, along with Sam and Emily ate the long awaited dinner. It had been surprisingly quiet for the past few minutes aside from the regular, everyday conversations. But they all knew that wouldn't last for long.
And they were right.
As soon as Casey said that, Nora and George choked on a mouthful of mashed potatoes. How they did that—choke on mashed potatoes—Casey didn't really know, but she didn't really care that much either. The rest of the kids at the table were openly gaping at her, their mouths having hit the table with a clank a couple of seconds ago… well, almost. But that didn't really matter to her either.
What she did pay attention to was Derek's reaction.
His face was full of absolute disbelief, surprise, and could it be… hurt.
She was done playing with him. If he wanted to play rough with her and drive her up the wall, she might as well give in and play along. He might think he finally drove her insane, but that was perfectly fine with her. In fact, it could become an advantage to her.
With an evil grin of triumph, she added, "Oops, did I say that out loud? I meant could you pass the peas? I just love them."
Sam, obviously dumbfounded, simply nodded and did as he was told after he took a few seconds to process everything, as did everyone else.
For Derek being this speechless is an unusual phenomenon, to say the least. It's comparable to being possessed by some unknown entity. But he honestly, for the very first time in his life, didn't know what to do in a situation like this. Did Casey just say what he thinks she did? If his ears weren't betraying him, she sure did, and she meant it by the looks of it. It sounded the same as if she had said that she hated him, his guts, and everything related to him in some shape or form. At least that's how it sounded to him. The fire of hatred was there that's for sure. But how could he have possibly managed to piss her off that much was beyond him.
An extremely awkward silence settled over the dinner table for the remainder of the time until everyone was done. They couldn't think of anything to say after that even if they had the whole day to wrack their brains for something.
Eventually, Nora was the one to break the quiet. "Casey, Derek, go get the ice cream for dessert."
Without any sign of emotion, Casey got up and headed to the kitchen as Derek reluctantly followed, not pleased with the idea of being alone with Casey as she might be planning his murder, for all he knew, but also still not finding his tongue to speak up in protest.
The second they left, murmurs erupted around the table.
"What was that about?" Nora didn't know what came over her daughter as well as Derek, and she didn't like it one bit.
"I have no clue, but are you sure she won't kill him in there?" George certainly was worried for good reasons.
"No. She's obviously out of it right now, but it could be a good thing for them to be alone. Maybe they'll work things out. I hope." She muttered the last part under her breath.
Emily and Sam kept throwing each other glances that to Lizzie and Edwin, the greatest spies of the house, seemed like an interesting form of communication. But they seemed to understand each other without the need for words and it worked for them, so that's what counts the most. Maybe, just maybe, there was something going on with those two, but it might be too early to know for sure.
Lizzie and Edwin then became enveloped in their own conversation, trying to understand the unusual behavior of their eldest siblings. Casey was never this aggressive and plain mean, even to Derek. And the cat getting Derek's tongue has never been feasible before.
The moment they all heard movement and louder-than-usual voices from the kitchen, they nearly froze in their seats, stopping all conversations simultaneously to the point that it appeared to be rehearsed and eerie.
"I have no idea what you're talking about!" Derek just couldn't keep his voice from getting louder by the second anymore.
"You know exactly what I'm talking about! So don't even try pretending otherwise!"
"Huh?" That was all he could get out.
"For the first time, I tell you something so personal… I go to your room and make a confession about my feelings and you… you just… you pretend you never heard a word and avoid me. The least you could have done was say something. Anything!"
"Case, what did you—"
"Don't call me 'Case'!" Her deep growl interrupted him, but he continued nonetheless.
"What did you tell me? When? That's the thing, I never heard anything! I think I would have remembered something 'so personal', as you put it."
In return, all he got was Casey taking two open, large, paper containers of ice cream, turning on her heal with a huff, and heading back into the once again quiet living room. But before she could make it out of the kitchen, Derek, being frustrated, grabbed her hand to turn it around, in the process knocking out one of the containers from her hand. She tried unsuccessfully to catch it, only to have the ice cream spread all around her on the floor as she lost control of the second container along with her balance.
With a high pitched scream that could not be mistaken for anyone's but hers, she landed in a heap on the floor while also tripping Derek to follow her suit. Only for him, the landing wasn't as rough as Casey's since he landed right on top of her… and in a rather compromising position at that as his face found the valley between her breasts.
They both just lay there for a second, trying to catch their breath that was knocked out of them with the fall. Casey slightly grimaced from the pain of added weight, not yet comprehending just what their positions are. Yet they both could very well hear the gasps escaping from the watchers of the scene behind them, just mere feet away. Eventually those gasps were followed by some chuckles and snickering, despite the previous mood that had settled over them just minutes ago after Casey's outburst.
Derek shifted a little bit and then raised his body weight off of her and onto his arms, hesitantly looking her in the eyes.
It was then that Marti spoke, causing an eruption of uncontrollable laughter this time. "So when's the wedding? Can I be the bridesmaid? Oh, let's have a double wedding with those two, Dimi, and me!"
Casey could have sworn that she heard Emily and Sam laughing their heads off at that. Out of the corner of her eye, she could have seen Emily doubled over on the floor, but she couldn't be sure.
All she could really pay attention to at that moment was Derek.
"So what did you say that time?" Their eyes locked.
In a low whisper, she replied, "Something along the lines of maybe, kind of… uh… liking you?" It almost sounded like a question, but it still brought a smile to Derek's face.
"Really?" She nodded. "Too bad I didn't hear it then. Maybe then we'd be spared the laughter of everyone around us. Besides, I really wanted that ice cream which we're now covered in from head to toe."
Casey's eyes widened as if they were saucers, but before she could start yelling at him or try to slap him despite their awkward positioning, he swiftly and gently placed his lips over hers, effectively clearing her mind of everything but his sweet taste as she wrapped one arm around his waist and the other one got lost in his hair. Derek mimicked her actions too, simply lost in the moment.
They disappeared from everyone else in the world and were oblivious to the onlookers that were having an exchange of their own, just using words instead of mouths.
"Ahh! So much for ice cream," Nora spoke up what everyone was thinking as they shook their heads in agreement.
Then George added, "On the bright side, now I don't have to worry about them killing each other."
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So there it is. I tried to make this one-shot funny, fluffy, and kind of dramatic. Hopefully you liked it.
PLEASE, REVIEW!