Disclaimer: Teen wolf is not mine – this is (another) little AU I thought of and wanted to write haha because Kayla's storyline could have gone this way, hope you like x
It only took the once. Just the one time taking prescription meds to send her on a downward spiral.
Well, she was a drug addict, what do you expect?
She had been working hard though, focusing on not reverting back to that person that she was, the person that had needed the hard stuff to even function and it had been working. She had pretty much been clean since rehab and it felt good.
But she threw her back out and got prescribed some strong painkillers which drew her down that path again.
Stiles had been concerned, hence how he offered to take the pills and dish them out to her when she needed to take them and she had happily agreed to that, knowing that drugs of any sort were a major weakness of hers, but once the course was done she felt that familiar itch that she just couldn't scratch.
So she had gone back to the doctors and lied just to get another prescription made up, her leg bouncing up and down in anticipation as the doctor passed her the little brown bottle and had nearly tripped on her way out, trying to act cool, and pretend her entire body wasn't craving the effects of the small little white pills.
You would think then she knew she had a problem right?
Wrong.
They messed with her head, sending her into denial.
It was just prescription meds, what's the worst that could happen?
That's what she kept telling herself over and over again; every time she ducked her head in her locker to pop a couple, every time she excused herself to the bathroom to try and kerb the cravings, every time she reassured her friends that she was fine, that she just didn't get enough sleep the previous night.
It was bad enough she was lying to herself but now she was lying to the people around her. She had been through this before and knew what it meant but denial was a strong emotion.
No, she was fine, of course she was fine, she was always fine.
What damage could harmless prescription meds do right?
Clearly, a lot.
That course finished within the week, taking a few more-more often and she took the last three in the school bathroom before her study date with Stiles, quelling the small shake in her hand.
But by the time they got to Stiles' bedroom, books splayed about them on the bed she felt that horrible achiness hit her body, the hunger and want settling deep in her stomach which occupied nearly every thought that crossed her mind.
No, she couldn't think about that – the pills were done, she was out, she had to come back to reality now.
But Stiles could sense her distraction from where they propped themselves on their fronts, his brows furrowing in concern.
"Hey… you okay?" he asked and she jumped at the sudden intrusion into her thoughts, "you seem a little out of sorts"
She gulped down the lump in her throat, trying for a reassuring smile, "yeah, yeah of course"
He gave her another quick glance over, "you sure?"
"Of course" she forced a chuckle, hating how her stomach clenched and tightened in want, "just thinking"
He hummed out a response of acknowledgement, lifting a hand to stroke some hair away from her face but his palm soon settled over her forehead, feeling the build up of sweat accumulating there, "hey you're burning up, are you sure you're-"
"Yes" she exclaimed loudly, jerking away from his touch, hating the ball of irritation and annoyance that exploded throughout her body, "just drop it Stiles"
He drew back at that, shocked at her outburst, "o-okay, sorry" he apologised, throwing his hands up in surrender, "didn't mean to piss you off"
She cooled down after that, hating how his eyes saddened as he glanced back down at the trig book in front of him and she sighed heavily, ignoring the twinge her muscles gave and scooted over to him, leaning down to kiss his hair.
"Sorry Stiles, I didn't mean to snap" she apologised guiltily, "I'm just stressed is all"
He glanced up, brown eyes carefully scrutinising her, "well you don't look well, do you want to lie down?"
No, she wanted something to stop this crazy hunger inside her but a lie down would have to do. She had indulged too much already, she couldn't go down that road again, she was already too far down as it was.
"That sounds nice"
He kissed her, helping her under the covers and tucking them around her chest, swiping some hair from her face.
"You want some tyenol?" he whispered, "it might help stop, well… whatever the thing is" he chuckled a little, "I don't want you getting ill, you ill equals cranky and that's never good" he joked and she floundered for a second, going over everything in her head.
She shouldn't… she really shouldn't…
But…
Screw it.
So she accepted his offer, her fatal mistake.
The next week she was cranky and withdrawn, hating how it felt like her body was getting torn apart from the inside out, hating how needy she felt of something so wrong.
And, eventually, the demon won out and she found herself at the stoner pit, wrapping her arms around her torso to stop the inevitable shakes and approached the kid in the far corner totally not rocking the emo look and just held out a fifty, cocking her eyebrow impatiently.
He smirked, eagerly taking the money and handing her a small clear bag of pre rolled joints which she quickly shoved into her pocket, glaring at the kid.
"You're not to breathe a word of this to anyone, understand?"
He chuckled at her tone, shrugging a shoulder, "my lips are sealed"
"They better be" she warned, knowing she looked crap but still full of fiery intent as she began to walk away from him, "or I'll rip them off"
He gulped at her threat, nodding quickly and had soon scuttled away, no doubt off to find refuge with his other stoner friends and she just found a quiet corner of the school, taking a quick glance around to make sure she was alone and lit the badly rolled joint, watching in fascination as the end burnt bright orange and dark smoke started to filter out, the smell intoxicating her.
She knew she shouldn't, she really shouldn't. She had been here before and she had told herself if she ever were in this situation again she would be strong enough to say no, to be the better person. She had a good life now, she didn't need to do this, not really.
But then why did it feel like she did?
The cravings made her feel empty and the temptation was overwhelming to the point where all she thought about was getting a small hit so, with shaky fingers, she raised the joint and wrapped her lips around the end, slowly sucking in a deep breath so her lungs filled with that delicious intoxicating drug, quelling the desperate fearful raw hunger eating her alive.
It buzzed throughout her body, slowly spreading to every inch of her and feeding the demon inside her.
And it felt good.
No, it felt amazing.
Her eyes fluttered shut, enjoying the effects coursing through her system and felt her worries slowly dissipating, disappearing into nothing.
She smoked the whole thing until she was numb and high, stomping the finished nub into the ground with the heel of her boot as the next bell rung, indicating lunch was over.
Shit.
She floundered, grabbing a bottle of perfume Lydia had stashed in her bag and gave a quick spray, covering up the smell of pungent smoky herbs and popped in a piece of gum, chamming quickly to rid herself of the evidence.
And she knew these warning signs – the secrecy, the lies, she knew what it meant but she didn't care, at least not right now when this strange calm had settled over her.
"Hey" Allison greeted her as she managed to make her way over to their lockers, Lydia flashing her a smile, "I thought we were going to meet for lunch?"
Crap.
"Uh… yeah, sorry" she forced a chuckle, tapping herself on the forehead like she was saying 'damn, stupid me', "I completely forgot, my head's like a sieve these days"
"It's okay" Allison smiled, "so what did you do?"
"Just… took a walk" she lied, "needed some fresh air"
"We can see that" Lydia frowned disapprovingly, reaching up to sort her manic hair, "how windy was it out there?"
"A little I guess" she shrugged but Lydia's look soon morphed into confusion, sending her an inquisitive stare.
"Have you been smoking?"
Damn – her hair must've wafted the smell. She was getting lax.
"No" she lied without so much as a hitch, "a couple of twerps were outside smoking, had to walk through the cloud of smoke, pretty disgusting huh?"
Lydia's suspicious frown was wiped away with a bright smile, wielding her own perfume bottle.
"It's nothing Lydia Martin can't fix"
Kayla kept the smile on her face, straight up lying to her friends like it was something that occurred naturally, all the while thinking how damn nice it was to feel all floaty and not so grounded, like nothing could penetrate this happy bubble she was in.
They all noticed it too, her friends. Noticed how, unlike the past two weeks, she wasn't grouchy and irritable but happy and joking around and they put it down to just her weird mood swings, none of them thinking she was secretly and expertly covering up the fact she was slipping and sliding down the dark path she had tried so hard to avoid.
But drug addicts were expert liars and manipulators and actors and, she, unfortunately, was great at all three.
No one knew anything was different as she carried on smoking weed before occasionally dipping into some cannabis, just to take the edge off because the more weed she smoked, the less of an effect it had and the more she had to take.
So she did what any drug addicted person did… she took more. She upped the ante and took weed, cannabis and other opiates she found.
And she kept telling herself it was fine, that she was fine, that she was totally and completely in control despite the fact she wasn't. And a small part of her knew that but she didn't listen, ignoring every single warning sign.
She deserved to be selfish right?
But the more re-addicted she got, the more erratic she became.
She wasn't the happy go lucky Kayla anymore like she was when she first indulged and her friends knew that. They knew something was up, they just didn't know what.
So, after listening to Stiles' worries that she was with someone else, or doing something secretive, Scott tracked her scent all the way across town to the run down part of Beacon Hills, slightly shocked at the amount of homeless and high people roaming about, completely dumbfounded as to why Kayla would need to come here of all places.
But he soon found out as he was forced to skitter back behind a crumbling building, frowning at the scene unfolding.
Kayla stood looking slightly jittery as she handed over a wad of cash and the other tattooed guy just grinned toothily, exchanging the cash for a small clear plastic bag of pills which she eagerly accepted, rattling out one into the palm of her hand.
And Scott was well and truly shocked, his jaw dropping.
Never in a million years would he have guessed this.
As the dealer strode away, leaving Kayla to pop the little pill into her mouth, he emerged from the shadows with a concerned and worried look plastered over his face, slowly shaking his head in disappointment.
"Kay?" he called out, his heart breaking as she jumped at the familiar voice, whipping around to stare at him with wide eyes, rushing to stash the evidence in her pocket, swallowing the one in her mouth, "what are you doing?" he asked softly.
"N-Nothing" she exclaimed, looking incredibly guilty as her heart jumped at the lie, "I was j-just walking… w-what are you doing?" she stumbled over her words, blinking quickly to try and downplay the effects of the drug settling in her stomach, "I mean… w-why are you here?"
"Why are you here?" he asked knowingly, "something you want to tell me?"
She looked well and truly caught off guard, panic wild in her eyes, "n-no… not that I know of"
He sighed at the lie, taking another step closer to her, "Kay… when did you get back into the drugs?"
"What? Drugs? W-what are you talking about?" she scoffed, covering up her lie with a forced chuckle, "Drugs? Don't be stupid"
He felt guilty, missing all the warning signs over the past six weeks as he just reached into her pocket despite her protests, pulling out the small clear packet, "yeah… drugs"
She bit her lip, eyes zig-zagging quickly over his disappointed expression, "they're not mine" she claimed immediately, "I was… I was just disposing of them, that's all"
"Kayla-"
"Fine" she ground out, "but it's just a little PCP okay? It's not lethal and I'm not addicted" she claimed, reaching out for the packet but he drew his hand back, giving her a saddened look at the frenzy and need in her expression, "I just… need a little, to take the edge off" she bargained, "everything's fine"
Everything was not fine and he saw that now – saw her pupils dilated, how badly she had bitten her nails, the hollow look in her eyes accompanied by the small almost invisible spasms her muscles gave – she was far from fine and he had missed it, they all had.
"So if everything's fine then you won't mind if I throw it away then, will you?" he asked, already knowing the answer which was backed up by the desperate glint returning to her eyes, suddenly looking panicked.
"T-Throw it away?" she stuttered, "w-why would you do that?"
"It's drugs Kayla… they're bad news" he whispered, "please… let me get rid of them"
She shook her head frantically, leaping forward and trying to wrestle them from his grip, grabbing at his hands, "no, no, please Scott d-don't, don't please, I need them, Scottie please"
His heart broke at her begging, not letting up on the grip of the packet.
"Kayla…you can talk to us" he urged, "if you felt yourself falling off the wagon-"
"I'm not addicted" she screamed, still wrestling with him, "I'm fine, Scott I'm fine so please, please, I'm begging you-" she pleaded, twisting her needy and pathetic gaze to meet his, "please just give them to me"
It took all his self control but he managed to shake his head, stepping away from her.
"Kay… you have a problem" he told her gently, hating how she looked at him in defeat and a little betrayal, "but this time you have us okay? Let us help, I can call Derek and Stiles-"
"No" she screamed, quickly shaking her head, "no no not them, don't"
"Kay-"
"If you do, if you tell them I'll leave" she threatened, voice steady and heart not blipping, telling Scott she was telling the truth, she would up and leave if he breathed a word, "I'll leave and you'll never see me again – none of you will"
He gaped at her threat, falling back a step, "you can't leave, your life is here"
"My life would be over if you told them" she whispered croakily, "I don't have a problem Scott, I'm fine, please… please just trust me"
So he gave her the benefit of the doubt, stuck between a rock and a hard place but when, just a few days later, he saw her shooting up heroin he knew he didn't have a choice. She was falling and falling fast and if they didn't do something about it they would lose her – permanently.
Ignoring the feel of failure and betrayal pumping through his veins he entered Stiles' bedroom, seeing his best friend typing away on his laptop at the desk, glancing up at his entrance.
"Oh hey Scott, something up?" he asked, spinning around to face him, "It's nothing supernatural is it? Because this English paper is due for tomorrow and I've already had an extension… well two actually, and I don't think miss Barton would be too happy if I-"
"No, nothing like that" he sighed heavily, hating to break the news, "is Kayla here?"
"…No" he shot him a suspicious look, "we've been on the rocks lately, kinda feels like we're drifting apart and the more I try to connect again she pushes me away – I think she's at Lydia's though if you're looking for-"
"I need to speak to you" he informed him sadly, "it's about Kayla"
Stiles froze, his eyes widening, "Oh my god, is she okay? Is she hurt? Scott, what happened-"
"No, nothing like that" he immediately reassured, "I just… I found out something and I think you deserve to know"
"Scott, you're scaring me – terrifying actually"
"Kayla… she's uh-she's back on the drugs again" he whispered quietly, Stiles' eyes widening at his words, "PCP, weed, I saw her taking heroin earlier… she's in it deep Stiles"
"What?" he asked, "Kayla's…? no, no I would know" he claimed, "I'm her boyfriend, I would notice if she were-if she was slipping"
"We all missed it"
Stiles had just sighed heavily, collapsing back against the chair and running his hands over his face – it made sense, it all made sense… he just wished he noticed it earlier, he wished he could've stopped it.
So they planned an intervention, knowing this was a delicate situation and they had to tread carefully.
Which was why when Kayla walked through the Stilinski's front door and saw all her friends waiting with sad and worried looks she just gritted her teeth, her high quickly waring off as she glared at Scott with furious eyes.
"You told them?" she demanded, fists curling at her sides.
"I had to" Scott whispered guiltily, "I'm sorry Kay but you need help-"
She chuckled darkly, irritation hitting sky high levels, "help? From you lot?" she rolled her eyes, "I'm fine"
"No baby, you're not" Stiles stepped forward, tears in his eyes, "this addiction… it's going to kill you"
"I know my tolerance levels" she shouted back angrily, "I'm in control"
"Listen to Stiles, Hale" Isaac sighed wearily, turning those baby blue eyes towards her, "let us help you"
"We're all here for you" Allison nodded encouragingly.
"Yeah… you've done it before; you can do it again" Lydia added, her smile full of sadness and regret.
"I. Don't. Have. A. fucking. Problem" she exclaimed, sending them all fierce glares, "if there's anyone here with a problem it's all of you, sticking your noses where they don't belong. Me and my life is none of your business"
"Kaylz-"
"Don't you 'Kaylz' me" she snapped, narrowing her eyes at Stiles, "I do not have a problem and I am not addicted. So what, I snort a few lines of cocaine every morning, stick a needle in my arm full of heroin? It's no big deal, there's nothing wrong with it"
"And the fact you can't see what's wrong with that sentence proves you do have a problem" Isaac sighed wearily, his eyes saddened.
"Yeah" she agreed, jabbing a finger at them, "all of you – pains in my asses yet again. You know what?" she threw out angrily, "go screw yourself, I'm out of here"
"Kaylz wait-" he grabbed her arm before she could leave, staring down at her with nothing but love and support in his eyes, "don't do this… please" he added, "let me help you"
She was pumped full of drugs, messing with her mind and morals, only having energy to care about one thing – her next hit. Because, damn, she needed it soon. No, she needed it now.
"You can't help me" she spat angrily, "you're one of the reasons I'm like this so you know what?" she yanked her arm from his grip, "we've over"
"Kaylz-"
She pushed him away, eyes like fire, "take no for an answer Stiles – you and I? We're through, you're dumped" she emphasised like he didn't understand English, "now each one of you can go to hell"
And that was the last she saw of them in weeks, disappearing places where they couldn't find her to continue her downward spiral.
She had moments of clarity – moments where she saw clearly and picked up the phone to dial their number, to ask for help, admit she was wrong and wanted her friends back because she loved them so damn much but she couldn't, the shame stopping her.
She was an addict, disgusting and needy addict. She couldn't infiltrate their lives again; she wasn't worth it. She couldn't burden them with this.
And so the self-hate continued, and so did her addiction. It took over every waking moment of her life and soon infiltrated her sleeping one, her nights restless, jumpy and full of nightmares. The moment she knew she hit rock bottom was when she ended up passed out behind a dumpster with a needle sticking out her arm, completely out of it and just waiting for something bad to happen.
Which it might've if it wasn't for her Robin.
Through the groggy state she was in she felt a pair of hands trying to rouse her, a gentle if not panicked voice piercing through her hazy hearing and she groaned, the full reality of what could be happening to her hitting her like a slap across the face and she jerked away, kicking out with all her limbs.
Because she knew what happened in places like this – people got mugged, beaten up, raped, she wasn't about to let that happen.
"Hey, hey, hey Kaylz it's okay, it's me, it's Stiles" the concerned voice whispered, gently grabbing her arms before she could cause more damage to herself, "it's okay, I'm here"
She peeled her eyes open, breathing heavily as the familiar and worried face swam into her vision.
"S-Stiles?"
"Yeah" he nodded, "it's me… you're safe"
She groaned, glancing down at the needle still in her arm and slowly twisted her head to look at Stiles, seeing his worried gaze fixated on the little silver needle, his eyes full of fear and disappointment and she felt her face screwing up, tears flooding from her eyes.
"H-How did you find me?" she sobbed, collapsing back against the dumpster as he carefully extracted the needle, trying not to hurt her as he met her gaze, trying for a small comforting smile as he stroked some hair from her tear stained face, gazing at her lovingly but with glassy tears threatening to spill over.
"I'll always find you Kaylz" he whispered, "always"
And he meant it, she knew that. Despite everything he still sought her out, wanting to help her, love still burning bright in those molten honey orbs.
"I… I don't know how to stop" she admitted in a shaky voice, "Stiles I-I can't s-stop" she cried, "I c-can't s-stop. It's t-too hard"
"Hey, shhhh, it's alright, I've got you" he comforted, pulling her up into the strong circle of his arms, "I'll help you through this baby, I'm here"
She grabbed at the back of his shirt, burying her face into his warm and comforting chest, "S-Stiles I'm-I'm a d-drug addict… they're m-my life, I d-don't know if I-I can do it a-again" she admitted shakily, "I'm not s-strong enough"
He kissed her hair, pulling her onto his lap in the middle of all the garbage, soothing her tears, "well you're my life and I'll make sure I'm strong enough for the both of us" he vowed wholeheartedly, "I'll get you through it, I promise… I love you Kaylz okay? I love you, don't forget that"
She didn't know why, she couldn't fathom his reasoning how he could love a low life like her, someone who wasn't strong enough to resist the allure and temptation of the drugs but she did know one thing for sure – it was her love for him that would get her through it, through hell and high waters she would succeed and she would get clean. Not just for herself but for her friends, for Stiles. They deserved the old Kayla back, no matter how hard and painful the journey was.
A/N) ok lol that ended way longer than I thought whoops ahah sorry really enjoying these AU one shots haha theyre fun, and I hope you all enjoyed too, and please please leave a review to let me know and I love you all, see you soon xxx