[TW: strong language, racism, graphic imagery]
College girls can be deadly. Amity U freshman Danny Fenton may moonlight as a half-ghost superhero, but he's about to find out how deadly they can be, whether the girls in question are his ex Sam Manson, current crush and coincidental ghost hunter Valerie Gray, or a vengeful and homicidal spirit that has returned to plague the members of the Zeta Phi Zeta sorority.
.:.
Nine feet in diameter, the chalk circle housed a downturned star drawn with five straight strokes, a candle blazing fervently in the darkness at each of its four points. A cloaked figure paced across the room with her lighter and kneeled over the fifth, unlit candle. Clicking it once to manifest a small flame, she brought the device down to the awaiting wick. Steadying the tip of the lighter's barrel so it lightly tapped the small fiber, she felt the porous material break off, the majority of its thin length falling to the side.
"Eff you, Bath and Body Works," huffed the figure. She disabled the flame and set down the tool. Picking up the glass jar, she held it against the illumination of the circle and tried to pick at the wax with a long, acrylic fingernail, but it was to no avail. The wick was too short.
"I can't believe I spent so much money on these crappy things," she griped, getting up in frustration. She walked over to her desk to retrieve another Pina Colada Smoothie candle. "Six-for-thirty coupon, my ass." Acquiring a new, hopefully non-defective jar from her drawer, she glided back over to the arrangement, placed it atop the point again and reactivated her lighter. To her satisfaction, when she lowered the flame this time, the candle lit seamlessly.
Grabbing her iPhone, which had been sitting on the floor next to the circle, she pulled up a note that consisted of various lines of Latin. Taking a deep breath, she gave a cautionary glance to the center of the star, where a golden chain necklace was sitting in a tangled pile. Its charm was visible, and the little heart-shaped item glimmered insidiously. The candlelight dappled the Greek letters carved into it: zeta, phi, and zeta.
"Umm," the young woman spoke, scrolling through the note until she found the correct chant, "umm…oh yeah! Like, et-kwee-eh-ree-teh-koom-eh-go-tex-ah-ni-mo-may-oh, kwan-do-ree-ver-tay-ter-ah-ten-eh-brees-ad-lu-ceem-et-est-oh-ee-bee?"
Proud that she had gotten through the spell, she stared at the necklace. An entire minute passed, and she saw no sign of it becoming anything more than completely stationary. About to search for another incantation, her process was interrupted by an incoming text appearing in all caps at the top of her phone screen. She groaned and tapped on the message.
"GOING ON A BOOZE RUN FOR TONIGHT. GET DOWN HERE BIOTCH" she read. Frowning, she hurriedly typed. "busy rn. be there in five."
Focusing back on the circle, she sighed. Disappointed that she wasn't as adept at summoning demonic spirits as she thought she would be, she mused aloud, "I probably pronounced it wrong. I should have studied harder in—"
Her lament was cut off by all five candles extinguishing simultaneously. There was a feral hiss, a gasp that morphed into a concentrated suctioning noise, and then silence.
Hex Kittens
| Amity Park University –2015 – 4:00 PM |
"And this is the courtyard…"
Danny's brows knitted together as he half-smiled at his friend, gesturing lamely towards the wide green space in front of them. He wasn't much of a tour guide. The expanse was modestly furnished with plain-looking benches and a gray stone fountain at the center—not exactly Ivy-League grandeur but still nice, in his opinion. He hoped she agreed. As a young superhero that was enjoying his final years of adolescence, he would like to think that he had sufficiently undergone a more-than-standard set of tribulations afforded to every teen who had been given otherworldly powers by freak accident, Peter Parker be damned. In fact, up until this past summer, he figured that he had the whole "appear amiably mediocre during daytime, transform into a smooth-talking, pun-making, ass-kicking phantasm at nighttime" + get-the-girl shtick on lock. Yet, here he was, still sweating under the judgment of a girl he had grown up with, and who had actually dumped him last June. Come on, he thought to himself, he had taken on undead overlords and their armies of ghouls all before sun-up—why was trying to impress girls still so scary? He was a college man now; he was supposed to have mastered this.
On a side note, he thought just for the record: ghost powers owned spider powers.
Sam Manson appeared amused at his awkward presentation. "Very cool."
"You think so?" he said, sounding pleasantly surprised. "I-I mean, I bet it's nothing compared to Tanz…"
She shrugged. "I mean, it's hard to compare it to 19th century German architecture. But to be honest, half-timbered medieval buildings and spired cathedrals get old real fast."
His smile became a bit more relaxed. "I'm sure. So I take it you've been sufficiently charmed by Amity U?"
Sam laughed and hooked arms with her best friend of eight years. "I guess. Maybe we could finish off this tour by finding a place to sit down somewhere so I can eat this?" She waved the brown paper bag in her other hand. "I'm still surprised they had vegan empanadas at the campus café."
"See, I told you my school was progressive…" he said, words trailing off as he led her in no direction in particular. The hazy purple shadow crowning her eyes shimmered in the sunlight and had him thoroughly distracted. When she spoke again, he watched her dark red lips move, as if in slow motion, sensually forming the shapes of words he wasn't paying attention to but was sure were really, really intelligent. Much to her parents' disappointment, Sam hadn't "grow out" of the Goth phase she had adopted at the beginning of high school. Though, they let that slide since she had been able to get accepted to the prestigious Tanz Academy in Munich, Germany. Her mother figured in that context, her daughter's one-color wardrobe could be seen as chic in a European, dark Karl Lagerfeld sort of way. Her father was just relieved Sam would be far, far away from—
"Da-a-nny!"
Snapping out of his reverie, his eyes darted around to find the person who had shrilly sang out his name. He recognized the vivacious owner of the voice sitting on a picnic table near the conservatory, rapidly gesturing at him to come over to her and her irritated-looking friend. He gave her a weak wave in return, grinning uncomfortably and groaning on the inside. "Hey Paulina!"
"Oh God," grumbled Sam.
"Come over here!" Paulina beckoned, her silken black hair flowing in the breeze. The person seated next to her, another pretty coed Danny also knew fairly well, in fact much more so than Paulina, gave him an apologetic glance. His ears began to prickle with sudden warmth. Valerie Gray was another long-time friend, though they hadn't always been on such good terms. Actually, "mortal enemies" was a more accurate description of what their relationship had been for most of freshman year of high school. To be clear, he was a ghost, and Valerie, AKA the Red Huntress, was a ghost hunter. After a little mishap that occurred four years ago involving a rabid escaped ghost dog who had broken into Axion Laboratories, and that Danny Phantom had caused a ruckus trying to recapture, her father had lost his job as chief of security of the lab. No pun intended. Thus, her life as a member of the rich, popular upper crust at school went straight into the metaphorical crapper. Consequently, Valerie blamed Phantom for the entire thing and swore revenge on all of "his kind," which was a major bummer since she had no idea that Danny Phantom was Danny Fenton (whom she already believed to have been a major nerd), and still didn't.
However, as they progressed through their years at Casper High, she began to learn that neither Danny's were so bad. After many heartfelt apologies from Danny Phantom, she went from constantly and ferociously stalking him with all manner of ghost exterminating arrows, laser beams, throwing stars, electric nets, etc., to maybe only doing it once in a while and in a slightly less hell bent way. She turned her attention to hunting down other, actually malicious spirits; they had even worked together to bring down some big ghost baddies together. In addition, she learned that Danny Fenton was still a major nerd, but a nice one, and they had even dated for a little while, which Sam had definitely not been happy about. Fortunately for her, Danny and Valerie didn't last for more than a couple weeks due to, well, Valerie's nocturnal occupation as a ghost hunter eating up most of her extracurricular activities along with the two regular jobs she was working. They also grew apart as friends when Sam admitted her feelings to Danny the summer before senior year. Now that they were all in college and he and Sam were no longer together, Danny felt as though he and Valerie were getting close again, maybe platonically and maybe not. Either way, he knew Sam wouldn't be thrilled.
"Uh, I'm sorry." Danny told Sam quietly as he pulled her in their direction, unsure of why his body was so readily gravitating towards disaster.
"Danny," she whispered sharply in his ear. "You can't be serious. There's no way I'm talking to—Paulina! Heeey."
Her greeting couldn't have sound more contrived, but fortunately Paulina wasn't the type to pick up on those kinds of things; she enveloped Sam in a bone-crushing hug, exclaiming, "You look great!" Body tensing up on contact, her eye twitched before she mechanically patted the other girl on the back. Paulina's friend, however, saw right through Sam. She spoke coolly, with equal parts artificiality: "So good to see you again."
"Valerie." Sam said, features reserved but her lidded gaze boring a searing hole into Valerie's face. Danny scratched the back of his head.
"Uh, Sam's visiting Amity Park on holiday for a week," he said, trying his best to diffuse the tension. "Or she was…she's actually leaving on Monday."
"Aw, so soon?" Valerie inquired, the feigned disappointment in her voice causing Sam, who had managed to pry Paulina off of her, to promptly riposte.
"I'll be returning to Tanz Academy right about when the seasons start to change and all the wine festivals start," she said tartly. "der herbst is probably the most beautiful time of year in Munich. That means autumn, by the way, Valerie. I know you got a C in German."
Valerie wasn't visibly fazed by her jab, but Danny quickly coughed to disrupt any ensuing nasty back-and-forth between the two.
"So…" he said, "were you guys doing homework or something?" Paulina giggled.
"Do you see any books, Fenton?" scoffed Valerie.
"Yeah," Sam chimed in. "As if these two would ever do any homework."
He gulped. Watching nervously, he was beginning to think it was futile to prevent this imminent fight to the death.
"You might spend most of your life in a dark corner with your nose buried in a book," Valerie replied, primly tucking a loose curl behind her ear, "but we happen to have a little more of a social life. We were actually talking about the party going down tonight at Zeta Phi Zeta."
"Of course you guys would be part of a sorority," Sam said in disdainful monotone.
"Valerie's actually pledging Zeta because it awarded her a scholarship she applied for during senior year of high school," Danny stated thoughtfully.
Valerie looked flattered by him interjecting the detail, but Sam was unimpressed. "Oh really?"
"Yes, really." Valerie tossed her hair. "You're looking at the only member of Casper High's graduating class of 2015 to be awarded the coveted title of Barbi Dickensheet scholar."
Paulina clapped her dainty hands together in admiration, but Sam only snorted. Valerie glowered at her. "Did I say something funny, Manson?"
"Oh no, no," she answered, repressing a laugh. "that name definitely sounds prestigious."
"You know what—"
"Ummm, Danny!" came Paulina's perky, well-timed interruption. "You and Sam should totally come over to the mansion tonight!"
He blinked, grateful that she had cut Valerie off but mostly taken aback by her offer. Danny had already been to a frat party once this year and it hadn't exactly been the time of his life. However, maybe hanging at ZPZ would be different? He and Valerie were already pretty good friends, and Paulina had grown much warmer towards him since they had all graduated. Though, while it wasn't unusual for sorority girls to invite non-Greek guys over for parties, he had heard they typically didn't like to make much conversation with them once they were there. But if Sam came with him…
"Maybe Tucker can bring some of the guys from Gamma Rho over," suggested Valerie.
Sam blinked and turned to Danny. "Tucker is in a fraternity?"
"Yeah, the nerdiest one on Campus," said Paulina, tittering into her palm. Valerie elbowed her in the side.
"I mean," she sheepishly corrected herself, "it's a brotherhood dedicated to uh, computer science? Right?"
She looked at Valerie for confirmation, who merely shrugged. "Something like that. But it still makes him cooler than you, Manson, since you don't even go here."
Danny knew Valerie was trying to be nice, but he honestly agreed with Paulina. The frat party he had attended had actually been at Gamma house, where he had learned that "party at Gamma house" was a phrase synonymous with "League of Legends live stream party," hence the night not being as enjoyable as he had hoped. Danny did know, however, that Tucker and his fraternity brothers would jump at the chance to attend a Zeta party, and Valerie was currently giving him a very persuasive stare.
"Glad to see being in a sorority was a healthy way to maintain that sense of exclusivism I've always loved about you," Sam scathed.
"It's not exclusivism," Valerie shot back. "it's a defense mechanism I have against people who attend the Bavarian academy of bougie hoes."
Paulina tugged her arm. "Valerie!"
"What?"
Danny's mind was racing to find a way to salvage the situation. Sam tilted her head to the side in distaste. "I don't think Danny and I—"
"—have anything else to do tonight," he hastily finished. "What time should we come over?"
"Danny!"
"I'd say things will get interesting around 10," Valerie said, looking pleased. She grabbed the denim moto jacket that had been lying on the table next to her and slipped it back on. She and Paulina then got up from the table and gathered their bags, which both sported rhinestone-adorned buttons emblazoned with the pastel pink-and-blue ZPZ logo. Valerie straightened out her mini skirt and strode up close to Danny's chest, tapping a finger under his chin.
"Can't wait to see you there, Danny," she said, pursing her lips coquettishly. He raised an eyebrow as their gazes met, her hazel-green locking solidly onto his blue, and felt something stir within him at the touch. Brushing past Danny, Valerie gave Sam a curt nod and waggled her manicured fingers at the girl's face in a spiteful ta-ta. Sam crinkled her nose and scowled in response.
"And I want to hear what boys in Munich are like!" Paulina chirped. "All the German exchange students I've met here just weird."
"I'm sure Sam will have a lot to say on that topic," Danny said with a grin, waving goodbye as he watched them leave and knowing she wouldn't catch his sarcasm. Once they were out of hearing distance, Sam swiftly punched him in the shoulder.
"Ow!" Danny yelped, stroking the now afflicted area. "What the heck was that for?"
"Why did you accept their invitation?" she hissed at him.
"Aw come on, Sam," he placated. "you, me, and Tuck haven't had time to do anything together because of school just starting and all that—this could be an opportunity to have fun and blow off some steam."
"Why don't we just go to a movie?" she asked. "Or play video games in your dorm? You know, stuff that we would usually do?"
"I mean, we'll do that stuff too!" he replied. "It's Friday night…the weekend just started and this could be a fun way to kick it off."
Sam gave him a look of disbelief. "Um, do you even know me? Since when do I think sweaty parties full of hammered idiots are fun? Since when do you think they're fun?"
He rubbed the back of his neck and avoided her eyes. "It's not that I think they're fun…well I mean, I don't know. This could be different. It's something new...and Paulina was really nice about inviting us. I know you don't really like her but she's changed a lot and—"
"What about Valerie?" Sam said, crossing her arms. "She didn't seem as welcoming."
"Look, she can be a little abrasive," he defended. "you know that. She'll come around soon enough. She doesn't really dislike you as much as you think, Sam."
"Well, I still really dislike her."
"She's my friend." Danny said with an uncharacteristic seriousness. Her expression softened.
"You like her again, don't you?" she asked, crunching a leaf underneath her black combat boot. Now she was the one avoiding his eyes. Danny wanted to slap himself; he hadn't meant to sound harsh, and making his best friend sad was the last thing he wanted to do during her visit home considering everything they had gone through over the summer.
"Um, well—sure I like her. We've been friends for a while and we also happen to be lab partners in Chem, and she's really smart and…uh…"
"And she totally just made a pass at you," Sam added. "which you really liked."
His cheeks felt hot at her blunt, and completely correct, assertion. Sam may have been his first real girlfriend, and clearly knew him better than anyone else, but ever since they had agreed not to do the long distance thing before she moved to Germany last June, Danny had become evasive on the topic of other girls, especially Valerie. It wasn't as if he didn't think he could be honest with her, but there was a creeping sense of guilt and definite remnants of affection he had for Sam, which he knew were mutual. More complicating, the Danny Phantom-Red Huntress dynamic had always been an exhilarating whirlwind of fluctuations since the two had become sworn frenemies, and this was something that hadn't wound down in college; if anything, it was escalating to new levels. Every Spiderman had his Black Cat, after all.
Danny Fenton and Valerie Gray may have grown apart senior year of high school due to him officially dating Sam, but lately their super-aliases had been clashing in the most sexual-tension-wrought head to head combat he had ever experienced. The start of college was typically perceived as an opportunity to start a new, to enter the next phase of life, and Danny's superhero antics had him feeling particularly rejuvenated as of recent. This was definitely pouring into his civilian interactions with Valerie. He had kept Danny Phantom a secret from her all throughout their days together at Casper High even when they had gone out, still positive that she preferred Danny Fenton over him despite becoming less cruel in battle. Yet, ever since the semester had begun, the Red Huntress's behavior towards him had become even more positive. She was of course still firing rounds upon rounds at his ghostly behind, but she was doing it a lot more flirtatiously. Despite not being as brutal towards him, he could feel that she was stronger than ever, and he was willing to bet that rekindling friendship with Danny Fenton during the day and affectionately being at Danny Phantom's throat by night had her rehashing all sorts of old feelings. It could even be spawning new ones. In more methods than one, she kept him on his toes—which he appreciated—and she was also incredibly hot, if he was being frank. These were all things that he found, ahem, a bit difficult to articulate to Sam, regardless of if he loved her like family.
So he wouldn't bother. "I mean, who knows about that," Danny deflected casually. "but why don't you just give the party a chance? Even if it is just to make fun of all the drunk ZPZ's doing dumb crap?"
Sam remained reluctant. "I don't know…"
"If Valerie gets unreasonable—which I really don't think she will—I'll definitely step in and say something, okay?"
"I don't need you to take care of me," grumbled Sam; her voice lightened. "but…if Tucker comes with us…it could get funny, I guess."
Danny envisioned his other best friend showing up with all of his bespectacled, cargo-short sporting, fedora-wearing Gamma brothers. "It'll definitely be funny. Also…" he put a hand on her shoulder, "I know you'll wear a great outfit that'll have the rest of those preppy sorority sisters hating like crazy."
She blushed. "Shut up, Fenton. Let me eat my empanada, which for your information has gotten cold, and then we'll go find Tuck and pass along the cordial invitation."
He mentally rejoiced. Victory.
| Zeta Phi Zeta Mansion – 9:30 PM |
Valerie descended the spiral staircase of Zeta house as fast as she could, adjusting her dress so that the spandex covered her rear. Each step she took sent another jolt of pain throughout her ankles. Having worn them for all of five minutes, the strappy pumps she had on her feet were already killing her. As she reached the bottom and tried hard not to completely stumble over to the end of a line of similarly distressed-looking sisters, the tall, waifish young woman standing in front of all of them cleared her throat.
"Observe, little menstrual cramps…" She demonstrated with a gesture of a bony hand, bejeweled French tips sparkling underneath the chandelier lighting, "your fellow pledge seems to have picked out a dress two sizes too small for her from the array of hand-me-down clothes I assembled for you this evening and, as a result of struggling to fit her fat ass into it, is showing up to the pre-party briefing five minutes late."
Valerie was silent, but daringly stared down the sisterhood president—Penelope Boyle-Slyman—as she continued on with her verbal tirade.
"I suppose we'll just have to work harder to break you out of colored-people's time, won't we?" she derided smoothly. The minions flanking her on either side, comprising the rest of the sorority chair which stood parallel to their peons, erupted into harsh, well-rehearsed, laughter. Sans their president, they were known from left-to-right as Caitlin Fowler, Holly Worthington, Jennifer MacDougal, and Gretchen Putnam. Penelope swiped her hand sharply in mid-air motioning for them to "cut it" after a few seconds. Next to her, Paulina comfortingly touched her arm, but Valerie looked murderous.
"Anyway," said Penelope. "let us begin this meeting. Jennifer, the keg."
The five girls severed their alignment so that Jennifer could wheel forward a large wagon holding a giant bubble-gum colored barrel.
Penelope beamed. "Let me present to you the featured beverage for tonight's festivities…"
Picking up a clear goblet from a nearby table, she walked over to the hulking object and uncoiled the beer line connected to the pump. Chrome spigot in hand, she pulled the trigger and a jet of hot pink liquid shot into the glass, filling it up within seconds.
"Oh, it looks yummy!" one of the pledges, named Mallory, proclaimed excitedly.
"You think?" Penelope said, expression turning devious. "Why don't you come over here and have the first taste, then?"
They all looked expectantly at the petite redhead. Valerie contemplated telling her to pass, but the girl did not delay in eagerly hopping over to their oh-so-gracious leader.
"I'm so honored, President Slyman!" she gushed. Penelope narrowed her eyes.
"That's Boyle-Slyman," she corrected tersely. "now drink the damn thing, bitch."
Nodding, the naïve girl accepted the goblet from her hand and took a generous swig. Her face blanched instantly, looking as if she had downed liquid excrement. Her grip on the glass tightened, knuckles turning white, arm trembling as she hacked violently. Shutting her eyes, she swallowed hard and began to pant rapidly as she bent over to support herself.
"What the hell did you just make her drink?" Valerie asked, shocked. Penelope gave her a saccharine smile.
"Why, none other than a savory cocktail whose recipe has been passed down through generations of ZPZ's," she explained. "full title as follows: 'The Zeta Phi Zeta Hot Pink Prairie Oyster.'"
"The what?" Paulina asked.
"Two-parts Bourbon, one-part Cognac, three parts raw egg white, and a nutritious dose of tabasco, mayonnaise, salt, pepper, and a ton of the most artificially-flavored store-brand pink food coloring you can find to really bring out the color!"
Upon finishing her recitation of the ingredients, Penelope was tickled to see all the first year Zetas standing in front of her completely aghast.
"That…that's absolutely disgusting," commented Valerie, appalled.
"Indeed," Penelope said, "and it's the only thing you precious period shits are allowed to drink tonight."
That roused an uproar.
"Shut up!" screamed Jennifer, instantly silencing everyone. Penelope patted the other girl's head.
"Thank you Jen," she said. "Now, I better not hear a single complaint from you idiot sluts, especially since I am bestowing you with an amazing opportunity."
"And what exactly is that?" Valerie inquired. "The opportunity to set our livers on fire and die of alcohol poisoning?"
Penelope thinned her lips. "No, Keke Palmer," she replied, her blinks disturbingly staccato in rhythm. "it's something far more prestigious. To the baby sister who can drink the most cups of this decadent potion tonight without puking and-or passing out, I will award a two-hundred dollar Victoria's Secret gift card and bequeath a bona fide boyfriend from Lambda Chi Epsilon! And he'll be a sophomore."
The young ZPZ's all gasped. Valerie began to wonder if this was all a horrible, horrible dream. She looked over to Paulina, who was chewing on her lip anxiously. Nudging her in the shoulder, she whispered, "P, can you believe this? It's insa—"
"A sophomore? Really?" Paulina repeated, incredulous.
Penelope nodded. "Mmhmm."
Her friend's eyes ignited with competition. "Give me two right now, I'll get a head start!" Valerie groaned, dejectedly face-palming while Paulina scurried over to the keg.
"Me too!" came another girl's spirited voice.
"Same here!"
"I'll take three!"
Valerie had lost all hope for womankind at this point. Their president clasped her hands in satisfaction. "Yay. Now, you all have until four AM, and you'll be tallying your drinks here…"
"Um, Madame President?"
One of the chairs, a timid, chestnut-haired girl, tugged on the strap of her cerulean dress. The leader's face turned sour as she whipped her head towards the subordinate sister. "What, Caitlin?"
She quickly withdrew her hand, looking skittish. "Erm, shouldn't we tell them about Felicity?"
"Who's Felicity?" Valerie asked, desperate to shift the conversation away from a how-to guide on acquiring hepatic cancer.
"I was getting to that, you whore. Don't ever interrupt me again." was Penelope's venomous reply to Caitlin. Caitlin then slapped herself across the face. "I apologize Madame President," she apologized, bowing and then sulking away to Jennifer's side—though Jennifer didn't look all that more sympathetic. Penelope turned to the younger ZPZ's, expression switching to back to her signature, wickedly sweet smile. "Who indeed."
She ran her spindly fingers through her flaxen mane, looking enigmatically into the distance. Paulina and the rest waited in suspense, but Valerie merely rolled her eyes at Penelope's unnecessary, poorly-executed theatrics.
"Tell me, you little bright-eyed, bushy-tailed dead fetuses," Penelope began. "what do you know about loyalty?"
"Oh, give me a break," Valerie said, rubbing her temple. "will you just tell us the damn story?"
The older girl glared at her dangerously. Nevertheless, she continued with her monologue. "The first thing you need to know about loyalty in a sisterhood is to always surround yourself with bitches who would rather cut out their own ovaries than be disloyal to their sitting sorority president. Isn't that right, bitches?" Said bitches nodded confidently on cue.
"Unfortunately," Penelope explained. "not every incumbent has been lucky enough to be blessed with such a devoted cabinet. Thus was the misfortune of one Felicity Joann Nixon—no relation to Richard Nixon, although they kind of looked alike, that is if Richard Nixon had been a ninety-seven-pound brunette with false eyelashes.
Yes, poor Felicity was a gutless Zeta president who couldn't lead worth shit or take four straight blowjob shots to save her life. During her senior year, Zeta experienced the most extreme drop in popularity it had seen since its founding. Even the Gamma Rho's wouldn't confess to hooking up with a Zeta. The chairs were livid, humiliated that their administration would go down as the worst in history. Then, one morning after a particularly crazy party, the then-treasurer of the sorority found Felicity's lifeless body lying cold underneath the balcony of her bedroom. She apparently had gotten super drunk the night before and slipped, falling to her death.
At least, that was the official statement from the coroner's office. But rumor has it that Felicity was murdered by her cabinet, who was jealous of her position and dissatisfied with her leadership, and also because one of the member's boyfriends—I can't recall whose exactly—had left her to date Felicity because she quote-unquote 'wasn't as much of a heartless bitch.' It was the straw that broke the camel's back. And also Felicity's back. Amity U legend likes to maintain that the coroner was bribed generously to fabricate the report.
Needless to say, Felicity's ghost is rumored to return every year around rush week to like, totally wreak havoc on the current Zetas and suck out the souls of new pledges through their vaginas. It's supposed to be really painful. Perhaps it's symbolic of the pain we all have to go through here at Zeta Phi Zeta, the pain of branding ourselves with the letters 'ZPZ,'…pain we endure for greatness."
The other chair members burst into applause. Penelope bowed in gratitude while the pledges looked on in awe. Valerie had spent the last five minutes thoroughly engrossed in examining her fingernails, but she was fairly certain that Penelope's closing metaphor made no sense at all.
"But, like, we haven't seen her ghost yet." Paulina said, quirking her head to the side.
Penelope sneered at her. "That's because she doesn't exist, Dora. Her ghost isn't real."
"But, Amity Park is always crawling with angry ghosts!" Paulina insisted, apparently uninhibited by the "Dora" comment, "Danny Phantom is always tracking them down! He's really, really good at it."
Valerie coughed. "The Red Huntress is better."
"Who?" Penelope asked rudely, making Valerie bristle. "Anyway, whoever she is, she's probably just as irrelevant as that ghost-freak. Look, Amity Park may be filled with all sorts of fugly ghouls, but Felicity isn't one of them. If her ghost existed, it would have shown up by now. I mean, the bitch has been dead for twelve whole years. We just tell each year's pledges the story to spook them a little, but as you might expect, ever since ghosts started regularly showing up around this shit town, the tale has been having less and less effect. We just like to keep up the tradition. Now, moving on…"
The topic returned to the terms of the ridiculous drinking competition which would likely end with more than one of the Zeta's in a paramedic van. Valerie vaguely reflected on the story that had just been told, if only to faze out Penelope's snooty voice. It certainly wasn't more outrageous than the origins of any other psychotically vengeful ghost that Valerie had gone up against, but then again it could likely be another pointless thing made up in the name of Zeta "tradition." Honestly, she would find battling Felicity Joann Nixon more exciting than being hit on by a smelly frat guy or anything else that would be happening tonight…unless of course that anything involved getting Danny Fenton alone somewhere. She smiled at the thought of him in his red flannel and skinny jeans: signature outfit of all average, straight white guys. So adorably bland, she daydreamed. Valerie admitted that he had never been what her friends would have considered her type, but he was a good friend and they had dated back in high school, albeit very shortly. They had drifted during senior year thanks to a pretentious Goth wannabe who Valerie still didn't care much for, and who also happened to still be his closest friend. Now that they were in college and Danny was single again—and that mesh-clad harpy had brooded off to Germany for university—Valerie was glad to have picked their friendship up where they had left it, even if Sam was in town temporarily. She hoped that the other girl's visit hadn't stirred up his affections again and they wouldn't get back together, though Valerie felt slightly ashamed of how possessive her thoughts were.
Then there was Danny Phantom, who was also strangely becoming more appealing to her. Totally still annoying, but becoming very entertaining to flirt with in battle. He had always been cocky, which had largely peeved her throughout their interactions in high school, but now she might have been warming up to his ghostly bravado. Whatever it was, tangling with him every so often was increasing her confidence and gutsiness, so much that she might just make her move on the other Danny tonight. However, she wouldn't be able to do so smoothly if she was pumped full of bourbon and tabasco.
"Penelope," Valerie called out to the president after everyone had dispersed from the foyer and the shuffle of party goers could be heard from outside the mansion's entrance. The head Zeta turned and gave her a sour look, which Valerie disregarded.
"What, Serena Williams?" she asked. Valerie found that remark harder to disregard.
"I want to let you know that I'm not taking part in this stupid drinking contest," she said firmly.
Penelope laughed. "I would think your people excel the most at over-drinking," she commented, "and also doing drugs. And also doing them both at the same time."
Valerie seemed to lose the ability to disregard altogether. "I'm gonna knock the lip injections out of you, bitch." She grabbed the front of Penelope's dress, clenching the satiny fabric tightly. The president was unintimidated.
"Oh my," she said, slyly. "looks like somebody desperately wants to lose their Barbi Dickensheet scholarship."
Wordlessly, they stared at each other for a moment before Valerie let go of the other girl, growling in defeat.
"If the Dean wasn't your father," she spat rancorously, "I'd have a mind to report your racist ass."
"I'll be sure to mull over that late at night in bed, Val," was Penelope's prissy reply.
"Whatever, leatherface," Valerie dismissed, "but I'm still not drinking a drop of that repulsive crap. I won't be won over by gift cards and uglyass frat guys like the rest of the pledges. I've got ambition that goes beyond climbing the hierarchy of this shitty sorority."
"Wow, you're a real Michelle Obama," Penelope said in dull, mock admiration. Valerie snatched hold of her own wrist to restrain her fist from sailing right into the president's face.
"Do what you like," she went on, "drink Sprite like a stunted social reject for all I care. But listen,"
Her face hovered closely to Valerie's, blue eyes icy with warning.
"This might be the first time in five years that Zeta Phi has allowed your and Lupe's kind into its ranks, but you should really consider fixing that attitude of yours," she cautioned darkly. "because if you don't, I'll have to fix it for you."
The younger sister bore no sign of trepidation. "Is this another fear tactic like that lameass story?"
Penelope smacked her perfectly matte, fuchsia-tinted lips together. "Yes, actually. But unlike Felicia Jo, I'm real and living, and can make your life a living hell. So I suggest you fear those who are still breathing before you fear the dead. Or you might just end up the same way."
Valerie raised an eyebrow. "Are you threatening me?" One last tense pause transpired between them. Hostility lessening, Penelope drew back and regained her nauseatingly sugary smile. "Oh lighten up, Val. Learn to take a joke," she said in honeyed tone. "Do I really seem capable of hurting anyone?"
She giggled and sauntered away, looking elated to see a burly Lambda Chi walk through the door. Valerie glared daggers into Penelope's back as the crowd of students thronged around her. She heard Paulina's bubbly voice from behind.
"You know," she said with a gulp. "These don't taste that bad…"
Danny fiddled with the buttons of his red flannel shirt for what seemed like the hundredth time, causing Sam to roll her eyes. She gave him a light shove.
"Would you quit it?" she muttered. "You've been obsessing over your shirt for like the past ten minutes. It's distracting."
His hands dropped to his sides. "Sorry," he apologized meekly. "I just can't figure out if I should leave it unbuttoned or buttoned. Or maybe buttoned halfway? What do you think?"
Her face was expressionless. "Yes."
He soured mildly at her disinterest, finding his fingers creeping up his placket front again. As they closed around his center button once more, he pondered which look Valerie preferred, or if she even cared about what he wore or did at all. Ever since he, Sam, and all five members of the Gamma Rho brotherhood, including Tucker, had arrived at the Zeta mansion, Valerie had maybe spoken ten words to Danny. Trying to casually walk into a packed, strobe-lit sorority house pulsating with heavy bass was difficult enough, but when the people who you thought had so enthusiastically invited you didn't even want to converse with you for more than thirty seconds, the situation became significantly more awkward. At least for him and Sam. Much to the chagrin of the other frat guys there, Tucker and his brothers were having a complete ball flirting with every girl that crossed their path. To Danny's surprise, they seemed unconstrained by any kind of shyness, but he figured their boldness was aided by a good amount of vodka. Or maybe just one shot per brother—it didn't take much to get those guys fired up and talking about the Wii U. Meanwhile, he and Sam were leaning against a wall, looking bored beyond belief.
"Still think this was a good idea?" asked Sam, looking quite vindicated as she idly sashayed in her flowing black skirt, a solid black mini with a sheer chiffon overlay. She had evidently came dressed to the nines for no reason.
"Hey, it's only been like an hour," said Danny. "things could still get interesting."
"Things were supposed to be interesting when we got here," she complained. "at least that's what your girlfriend said."
"She's not my girlfriend."
"You wish she was," Sam said. "I'm sure you guys would have really hot, steamy sessions of her ignoring you from across a crowded room."
That was a jab too far. Danny turned away, looking hurt. She inwardly cursed her smart mouth.
"Sorry," she apologized shortly after making the joke. "parties like this just put me on edge."
He twiddled his thumbs together. "Yeah well…it's cool," Danny said. "I'm the one who made you come, so I guess I deserved that. Valerie clearly doesn't want to hang out with me. What happened today probably didn't mean anything at all."
Unhappy to see him so down, Sam gave him an atypically hopeful look. "Well, maybe she's just busy right now. She'll probably come over and talk later."
Danny glanced up at the girl in question standing next to the wall opposite them, smiling that pretty smile of hers at a guy that wasn't him, who looked like a swimmer. Swimmer douche, Danny acrimoniously nicknamed him. He was tall, lean and seemed to be telling Valerie something hilarious, because Danny could make out her jubilant laughter even at a distance. Though, he was most likely just imagining the sound in his head, since there was a gratingly loud Pitbull song playing in the background. Paulina was standing close to Valerie and appeared twice as animated, waving her arms wildly as she spoke to the guy's friend. Danny's eyes glazed over as he watched the scene, envisioning a scenario in which he sidled up to Valerie and interjected, "Hey you. We haven't danced all night," to which she'd reply. "Aw hi, bae! Sorry guys, I gotta go grind this ass up on my boyfriend. See ya!"
"Danny."
And then she would throw it back up against him all night in the middle of the Zeta Phi living room, and maybe in another room…
"Danny."
No, no, Danny admonished himself mentally. He wanted to wait a bit before that. He wasn't a virgin, but he didn't want to just sleep with Valerie. He wanted to properly ask her out and go on a couple dates before they got that intimate. He watched her play with the hem of her short dress, which hugged her bottom half like a dream, and shift her weight from one smooth, pin-up leg to the other.
He reconsidered, thinking he could settle for third base.
"Danny!"
Startled, Danny felt a lukewarm splash against his wrist as beer sloshed over the rim of his cup.
"What?" he asked. Sam was staring at him pointedly, looking irritated.
"I asked you if you wanted to get something to eat."
"Huh?" He blinked. "Oh. There's food?"
"Uh, yeah?" she said, motioning to the long table stationed against the other wall with drunken people seizing appetizers left and right. "Do you not see that gourmet spread over there? Or are you too busy imagining Valerie naked to notice?"
His face flushed. "No, I saw it! Y-yeah, it looks awesome, let's go."
Sam sighed in frustration and then made a beeline for the table. Danny followed hurriedly. "Hey, wait up!"
Danny found the array of food to be gourmet indeed. They even had the Tuscan spinach dip from T.G.I. Fridays. He watched Sam load her plate with crispy green bean fries, which was probably the only thing there she could eat. Stuffing four in her mouth, she mumbled something at him. "Goalker"
"Excuse me?" he asked playfully. "Remember Sam, chew, then swallow."
"Ha, ha," she said once her mouth was free of deep fried legumes, "stop being a smartass and follow my advice."
"And what advice is that?"
"Go talk to her." She gestured her plate, spilling some beans onto the floor, at Valerie's back. Valerie was standing at the other end of the table with Paulina. Danny hadn't realized he was within within five feet of them. Nerves eating at his psyche, he started buttoning up his shirt.
"Oh my god," Sam said, slapping him on the wrist. "stop messing with your freaking shirt and get over there, Don Juan."
With that, she gave him a mighty push that sent him staggering not into Valerie, but her intoxicated sorority sister.
"Heeeey!" Paulina cried, spilling her drink onto her skirt, "Ah mierda!"
She swore and immediately began to clumsily rub her hand across the damp polyester, apparently thinking that doing so would take out the stain. "Now I'm going to smell like mayo all night! Thanks a lot—" She looked up to see him awkwardly standing next to Valerie and presumed to get right up in his face. "—Danny!" He covered his nose; Paulina's breath smelled like a rotten steak omelet.
"Wow, Paulina, I'm really sorry!" Danny apologized frantically. He turned his head and shot Sam a resentful glare. She flashed him a thumbs up. Returning his attention to Paulina, she saw that she was now swaying dizzily away from him. Gingerly, he reached out his hand, but before he could attempt to steady her, she lurched forward and vomited all over swimmer douche's shoes. He and Valerie were speechless. From behind, he could hear Sam utter, "Yikes."
"What the hell!" swimmer douche yelled.
"Ohhh shit," said Valerie, grabbing the shaky Paulina and resting her on her shoulder. "We've got to get you to the bathroom."
"Ughhh…'m dyinggg…" she slurred.
"Are you bitches really going to walk away from me right now?" he asked, fully enraged. Valerie grew livid at his words, knowing she would have clocked him in two seconds if she wasn't supporting her intoxicated Zeta sister against her body. Danny seemed even more incensed.
"What the hell did you just say?" he asked before Valerie could reply, feeling like he was one step away from converting into his ghostly alter ego. Danny yanked swimmer douche's polo by the collar. The latter responded by also grabbing a fistful of Danny's shirt lapel, popping off two buttons in the process. Damn it, he thought to himself.
"You looking for something, asswipe?" the larger male snarled. "You made that slut throw up all over me! I should beat the shit out of you!"
"Don't call her that, dick!" snapped Valerie.
"Oh, yeah? What are you gonna do about it, bitch?"
"Dude, call her that again and I swear I'll take you out," Danny threatened. The temperature in the room dropped a good ten degrees. Valerie's eyes widened, disquieted by his rapid change in demeanor.
"I'd like to see you try," swimmer douche goaded, though slightly unnerved by the sudden chill.
"Brad," his friend said, trying to ease the situation, "take it easy."
"Stay out of this, Kyle."
If she had been less mad, Valerie would have chuckled at how heterosexually meatheaded their names sounded in that exchange.
"What is going on here?" came a furious voice. Danny and his opponent broke eye contact. They turned to see an ultra thin, plump-lipped blonde poised with her hands on her hips and flanked by cronies, fuming at all of them. Everyone else in the room had also stopped whatever they had been doing prior to observe the incident occurring, anxiously waiting to see what would unfurl next.
"President B.S.!" said Valerie, startled. "I mean Boyle-Slyman!"
Penelope pinched the bridge of her nose in revulsion. "Oh. My. God! She looks like shit! And she threw up all over the carpet!"
Valerie narrowed her eyes. She hugged Paulina close to her protectively. "Well, if it wasn't for your stupid drinking contest she wouldn't have gotten so wasted!" she accused. "This is all your fault! You and your whole despotic cabinet!"
"I don't want to hear it, Naomi!" barked Penelope, "Take that moron into the upstairs bath and clean her up, now! You guys are SO out of the contest!"
"I wasn't ever in the contest to begin with!"
"Get out of my sight!"
Paulina made a queasy gurgling noise, effectively causing any biting comeback Valerie was rearing to die in her throat. Giving her president the dirtiest look she could muster, she dragged her friend away, nudging Danny in the arm for good measure as she went. He and Brad had calmed down in the presence of the frighteningly authoritative head Zeta. The music played on, no one daring to say a word.
"Well?" Penelope said. "What is everyone staring at? Continue partying!"
A few coughs and some faint movement could be heard, but other than that, everyone remained still.
"Continue!" Jennifer shrieked.
Her command was a pitch below fracturing the French windows. It made everyone resume their drinking and socializing, if only out of pure fear of the Zetas' combined wrath. Satisfied for the moment, Penelope stalked back over to the three Lambda Chi's she had left dumbfounded by a tower of six packs, and her minions scampered after her. Stunned, Danny watched Valerie and Paulina's receding forms as the soberer of the two helped the other up the stairs. Brad had already walked away with Kyle, commencing to talk all kinds of shit to their other friends in the corner. Danny felt someone take hold of his arm. He looked to his left and saw Sam's bewildered face.
"Hoooly shit," was the only thing she said.
"Guys!"
Both spun around to see Tucker rushing up to them.
"What the heck just happened?" he asked, looking distraught. "Danny, were you about to fight that guy?"
Danny shrugged off his friend's worried question. "Nah," he said. "I mean, you know how we are…guys always talk tough to each other and most of the time nothing happens."
Tucker didn't actually look like he did know. "Uh, okay." He assented, still bothered by what had occurred.
"Trust me, it was no big deal."
"You looked ready to go ghost, dude."
Danny's eyes uneasily went from Tucker's concerned face to Sam's.
"Danny," Sam said guiltily, "we should go up and check on Paulina."
Feeling justified in milking her guilt a little, he asked, "And what makes you so eager to do that?"
Her gaze dropped to the barf-stained floor. "I shouldn't have shoved you. That was kind of…all my fault. Sorry."
Hearing her candor, he exhaled slowly. "Crap."
Sam lifted her head, gazing oddly at him.
"I just…" he said, sighing to himself with a smile. "can't ever really be mad at you."
In reaction, Tucker's expression almost matched Paulina's in nausea, though he wasn't drunk. If he had been getting there before, he had witnessed enough by now to sober him up quite nicely.
"Let's go already," he said, exasperatedly pushing his friends towards the staircase.
"What about your bros?" Danny quipped.
"They'll be fine without me, don't worry," Tucker assured. The Gamma Rho's were all sitting on the sofa, snorting in laughter as one brother controlled the flat screen TV with his phone, playing obscure Youtube clips that only seemed amusing to them as nearby people looked on with annoyance.
Danny, Sam, and Tucker ascended to the second floor, bracing themselves for the worst.
"I'm not gonna win a boyfriend!" wailed Paulina, sobbing into Valerie's chest. She rubbed her fellow pledge's back gently.
"You don't wanna date one of those assholes from Lambda Chi anyway," comforted Valerie. Paulina was inconsolable.
"But Penelope said he was—" Paulina released a loud belch. "A sophomore!"
Her friend lightly positioned the girl's face over the commode again, securely holding her long hair behind her with one hand. "Who cares? Now if you're gonna throw up, do it right in the bowl."
"Oh my God, Valll…" Paulina said, voice echoing in the toilet, "I l-uh-rve youuu…"
"Yeah, yeah," said Valerie, caressing her friend's shoulder. "now after you puke, drink some water…"
She heard the bathroom door open. Paulina's head raised and they both looked up at their visitors.
"Woah, this bathroom is so nice I could live in here! Oh damn, she does look like shit."
Wishing she had remembered to lock herself and Paulina inside, Valerie stared in annoyance at an amazed Tucker Foley, Danny and Sam on either side of him.
"What do you guys want?" she brusquely asked them.
"To help," Danny offered with a weak smile.
"Yeah well, I think you've helped enough," muttered Valerie.
"Valerie," Sam said seriously, looking like it was absolutely destroying her to speak. "I pushed Danny into Paulina."
"What?" snapped Valerie. "Why the hell did you do that?"
"It was an accident!" Sam answered. "Oh, she's drooling all over herself."
Black skirt billowing, she strode over to kneel beside the two sorority sisters. Sam tore off a generous section of toilet paper from the roll hanging from the wall and began to wipe Paulina's chin.
"I didn't ask for your assistance, Manson," said Valerie sharply.
"Deal with it," was Sam's succinct reply.
"Sssam? Is that you?" Paulina breathed her rancid, alcohol-soaked breath into the girl's face. Sam gagged.
"Hey," she said, trying not to inhale.
"I…I l-UH-rve you!" Paulina exclaimed, throwing her arms around Sam's neck. Mortified on the inside, she allowed the gesture of affection, though she thought she was becoming a little too lenient with Paulina's hugs. Sam rationalized this by chalking Paulina's current embrace up to drunkenness, but froze when she heard her make some pre-hurling noises.
"Do it in the toilet!" yelled both Sam and Valerie in unison. Valerie tore Paulina away and Sam helped place her face over the toilet again, into which she released a torrential stream of vomit.
"Ew," Tucker said.
"Shut up, Tucker," they spoke together again. Danny laughed, earning him two irritated glances.
"What are you so amused about, Fenton?" Valerie asked.
"Uh, nothing." He bowed apologetically.
"I've never seen her like this before," said Sam, actually fretting over Paulina for probably the first time in her life.
"Yeah, well," Valerie said, "you can blame it on six Hot Pink Prairie Oysters."
"…what?"
"The signature Zeta Phi hazing drink," Valerie explained. "It's made with Cognac, Bourbon, tabasco, mayo, and a bunch of other nasty things."
"That sounds revolting," Sam said, "why would anyone want to drink that?"
"To win a two hundred dollar Victoria's Secret gift card and a tool boyfriend," Valerie said bitterly. "our illustrious Zeta president announced there was a contest for whoever could drink the most of them. Paulina tried to get ahead of the competition by getting started before the party even got underway."
Sam was sickened. "A contest? That's the most demoralizing thing I've ever heard—and people say sororities are about sisterhood!"
"You're preaching to the choir, Manson," grumbled Valerie, tired. "unfortunately this sorority is the only loan-free way I can fund my college career. And its president happens to be the Dean's daughter."
Face gradually becoming sympathetic, Sam dabbed Paulina's cheek with more teepee. "I'm…sorry."
Unaccustomed to such sincerity from her, Valerie tried not to make a big deal about the subject. "It's whatever. I just have to look out for my girl here. I've been following her everywhere all night, which means having to make small talk with all manner of dumbass frat dudes. P was basically plastered in less than an hour."
Realization dawned upon Danny. "Is that why you guys weren't talking to us much?" he asked.
Valerie nodded in confirmation. "Sorry."
"It's cool," he said, discomfited.
"Yeah," Tucker added. "I still think the party's sweet. I got like, three phone numbers—and one of them was from a Kappa Tau!"
"Nice," commented Valerie sardonically. Sam was equally unimpressed. Danny was becoming more embarrassed by the second.
"Uh, Valerie?" Sam said.
"Yeah?"
"Why don't you go and enjoy the party," she suggested. "Tucker and I will look after Paulina for you."
"We'll what?" Tucker said, causing Sam to stifle him with a glare.
Valerie couldn't hide her surprise at Sam's abnormal show of kindness towards her. "Wait, you've got to be joking."
"Not joking," Sam affirmed. "Look, you've been taking care of Paulina all night, and it was my fault Danny bumped into her and made her barf all over that guy's shoes…although I don't really feel bad for him since he was a moron anyway."
"True."
"So, go and try to have a good time, okay?" said Sam, actually giving her a smile—a sight that sufficiently spooked Danny and Tucker. "Besides, I think Danny has something he wants to ask you."
He blinked. "I do?"
Valerie stayed hesitant for a second, but soon stood up from her squatting position.
"Uh, thanks, Manson. Sam." She tried to return a friendly tone.
"No problem," said Sam warmly, unnerving her two male friends more and more.
"But you and Tucker better take good care of her," Valerie ordered sternly. "make sure she gets as much grossness out of her as she can and that she drinks a lot of water. And put her to bed, alone."
She looked accusatorily at Tucker, who seemed offended.
"No worries," Sam said. "now you and Danny go have fun. Tucker, get over here."
She nodded with gratitude. Tucker groaned. "But whyyyy do I have to help?"
"Because you could afford to do something nice for a girl instead of hitting on every guileless freshman you can get to talk to you for more than two minutes!"
"Aw man." Slumped over in disappointment, he ambled over to the drunk girl's aid.
"Tuckerrr?" came Paulina's garbled voice. Her face reappeared over the bowl as she supported herself on the commode. Wiping regurgitated slime from the side of her mouth, she grinned at him and touched his chest with her other hand. "Tucker you're sooo cute!"
"…really?" he said, astounded and leaning into her touch, despite how putrid she smelled.
"Tucker."
"What!" he inquired agitatedly at Sam.
Valerie had walked over to Danny, who was still standing near the open door. She wore a small, apprehensive grin.
"Well," she said, a bit nervous. "shall we?"
He smiled, feeling at ease. "Definitely."
She paused, looking down at her outfit. "Um, let me just go change first," Valerie said, thinking her clothes must have reeked of puke.
"Sure." Danny nodded understandingly. She slipped out, and before he followed after her, he gave Sam a questioning look.
She only smirked. "You're welcome."
"Tuckerrrr, you're, l-like the nicest guy ever!"
"You think?"
"Tucker."
"What, Sam? She said it!"
The suite Valerie shared was apparently the smallest one in the mansion, but it could easily fit three of Danny's dorm rooms. Praying for his heart to stop beating so rapidly, he sat on the edge of her bed. Valerie's sunflower-decorated comforter was soft underneath his hands. He found himself picking at the stitches of a plaid patch covering a small hole in the quilting. Danny watched Valerie's dim shadow move against the large changing screen, her curvaceous silhouette barely visible through the tinted glass. She was driving him crazy, and he knew she knew.
"Why did that chick call you Naomi?" asked Danny, trying to distract himself with conversation.
"Because she's a racist bitch," answered Valerie.
"What?"
Alarmed, he saw the newly-dressed Valerie exit left and come into view just as she was pulling down her top; she purposely let him briefly see the bottom contours of her peach bra. Her cropped tee was tight on her chest and partially covered the long, slender dell that faintly halved her chiseled abdomen. Her midrise shorts strained against her powerful thighs.
Valerie sighed. "It's a long story," she said. "Just take my word for it. I'd rather not talk about her right now."
"Sure," he said, knowing he would definitely bring the issue of the "racist bitch" up again, but still following Valerie's wishes by choosing something else to talk about.
"You've been working out," Danny commented appreciatively.
"I'm always working out," she said with a wink. "I don't know whether to take aerobics or weightlifting next semester."
"I'm sure I'll be taking neither."
She giggled, walking up to his sitting form. "I just don't know if I wanna be a stripper or a body builder."
"You'd be amazing at both," he said, a little too quickly. Danny's cheeks burned as he looked up into her face. Her smile had him melting. Danny watched her full lips as her mouth formed the syllables of his name. He felt her strong hands on his shoulders.
"Danny," she said, and he was too dazed to reply. "I really am glad you showed up tonight."
Taking a chance, he lifted his hands to rest on her hips, the full curves of which flowed from her sculpted waist. She seemed to respond more than favorably. Slowly, she pushed him back and leaned down into a tentative kiss, which he welcomed wholeheartedly. It was the first time they had kissed in years.
"Valerie," he murmured against her. For being so good at handing his ass to him in a fight, she was incredibly soft. As the kiss deepened, he felt his insides fluttering with joy. When they parted, Danny was grinning dumbly.
"You know," Valerie say coyly. "you totally looked like you were gonna beat the crap out of that douchebag."
"Huh?" asked Danny, still in a euphoric stupor over how nice Valerie's tongue had felt.
"That guy who called Paulina and me bitches?"
"…oh yeah," he said, expression turning surly as he vividly remembered swimmer douche's bronze, oafish face. "Well, you know I coulda dropped him in two seconds flat."
Sporting a skeptical smirk, Valerie cocked her head to the side. "Oh really? You and your skinny ass?"
Danny tightened his arms around her as she sat simpering in his lap. "Hey, I'm not that skinny…I can actually get pretty buff."
He thought of the way his muscles expanded with ectoplasmic energy when he transformed and of how she was already very familiar with his more toned, spectral self, even if she didn't realize it.
"You can?" she asked, pinching a flab of his currently meager bicep. He yelped in pain.
Valerie challenged, "Then take the weight-lifting class with me in spring."
"Ouch, oucchhh, okay fine!" he appeased. Triumphantly grinning, she let go.
"Yeesh," he said, stroking his upper arm. "I guess I'll have to. Just for you."
"Mmhm," she pecked his cheek. Pulling back, she asked, "so what did you want to ask me?"
"What?"
"Sam said you wanted to ask me something?" she inquired. Danny blinked. Oh yeah, he remembered Sam's matchmaking tactics take two, in which she had sought to make up for the first disastrous barf-inducing technique. He figured it had pretty much worked already, but as he stared into Valerie's feline eyes, he decided that he should try to make this moment more romantically constructive. Kissing was nice, but not his end goal. He had told himself earlier that he wanted to do this the right way.
"Yeah," he said, in his most suave tone, "I was wondering if you'd let me take you out for sushi sometime?"
Valerie, for all her boisterous no-nonsense mannerisms, still seemed to be charmed silly by his question. Such a dork, such a dork, she said in her head, such a cute, skinny dork.
"I'd love that," she said, resting her forehead against his. "but um, before that…can we make out a little more?"
He chuckled lightly. "Of course."
"Yes!" she squealed in delight and pushed him onto his back, their lips crashing together once again.
So hot, so hot, were his thoughts, so hot and adorable and perfect. His hands roamed her body, stroking—but not squeezing—that ass he knew looked good in everything, whether it was jeans or mini-skirts or hyperdexterous spandex cat suits equipped with body armor. Danny wouldn't know how to react to the Red Huntress the next time they fought—would he shoot her with an ecto-beam or take her into his arms? He figured the second option would end with a mean backhand to the face, to which he would have to retaliate with an ecto-beam anyway, so he figured he'd avoid trying to hold her. He would just act normal. But really, what was "normal" with them these days? Sometimes he really wished Valerie knew his secret. He knew hers, obviously, even though she didn't know he knew. Danny had known since ninth grade, though granted, when he had initially found out they hadn't been so sweet on each other, but then again things changed. She had a deadly temper, sure, but she could also sometimes be really sweet—and he could be really brave, but still annoying. Though maybe in a cute way? He hoped, at least. No, he didn't hope at this point; he was sure that the Red Huntress had now become friendlier than she had ever been towards Danny Phantom, electric arrow-firing crossbow, laser pistols and all. He figured if they started dating seriously, showing Valerie that the two Danny's were one and the same might not be so difficult, plus he even had Sam's blessing—
Sam. His thought process halted. Mind shifting to his ex-girlfriend and best friend, Danny felt a strange sinking feeling in his chest. She had said she didn't like Valerie, but she had totally just been the best wingman—er, wingwoman—ever. Had she really done it without any regrets? Surely not. Danny remembered how much Sam had detested him and Valerie dating back in freshmen year of high school. She had of course been worried that dating one's sworn enemy would only end in disaster, which it kind of had for a short while, but it was also apparent to everyone that she had been wildly jealous. But he and Valerie had barely dated, and by senior year he and Sam were a full-fledged item. They had graduated as a couple and only been "officially broken up" for less than four months. Perhaps that should have been enough time to get over her, but he still really cared about Sam, but Valerie…he liked her now. Again. Actually, he liked her way more than he did in high school. But then again, Sam. But Valerie. But yeah of course, Sam…but good God, Valerie.
He broke the kiss. Valerie pouted.
"Danny?" she asked, looking down at his pensive expression. "How long have your eyes been open?"
"Hum?" he said, blinking fast and speaking before his brain could enact any filter. "Uh…not long, sorry, I was just thinking about Sam."
"What?"
Shit.
"No, th-that's not what I meant!"
She removed herself from him, sliding off the bed in an instant.
"Are you kidding me?" Valerie asked, beyond livid.
"No, no, no," Danny stammered, jumping off the mattress. "I mean yes, I mean no—I'm not kidding, I didn't mean that. I misspoke!"
"How can you ask me out when you're still not over Sam?" she asked, voice trembling with anger. "And then make-out with me on my bed while you're pretending I'm her! I mean, it's not as if we look alike!"
Danny pleaded with her. "I wasn't! Valerie, you have to believe me, I didn't mean to say that!"
"Oh my God I can't believe I was actually considering sharing an assorted sashimi bowl with you!"
He was about to get down on his knees. "Valerie, please—"
What would have turned into full-on begging was interrupted by a noise so loud and high-pitched it nearly broke the sound barrier, ear-splittingly ringing out over the Adele song that had been playing for the past minute. A wisp of frigid breath trailed out of his mouth. Valerie and Danny exchanged panicked glances.
"What the hell was that?" he asked.
"I think it came from another bedroom," Valerie said, hurrying to the door. Unlocking it, she disappeared into the hallway. There was another long, blood-curdling scream.
"Valerie, hold up!" He bounded after her. Following her down the hall as she approached the source of the sound, they reached the end of the corridor. Two large, white double doors stared back at them.
"It's the president's chamber," stated Valerie.
Danny furrowed his brows. "Wait, you guys actually call it that?"
Ignoring him, she pushed past and threw open the doors, bursting through the entrance. They both stared into the room, rendered as still as statues by the sight before them. Penelope Boyle-Slyman lay sprawled out seductively on a chaise in the center of her executive suite, wearing nothing but a pink silk slip and Gucci shades. She was dead.
Blood poured from a gash splitting the side of her neck, pooling onto the waxed wood floor. The letters "Z P Z" were mutilated into her chest. At the foot of the chaise stood a quivering brunette in a floral maxi gown splattered with crimson, wielding a carving knife.
"Oh my God, Caitlin?" yelled Valerie, horrified. "What did you do?"
Caitlin turned to look at them, her drooping, bloodshot eyes crazed with fear.
"Iwazen meh …" slurring her words, she collapsed onto the floor.
Exhaling another stream of ice breath, Danny's eyes zoomed around the room according to his ghost sense, but there was none to be detected whether visible or invisible. However, he knew he needed to do something. Glancing at Valerie, he began to speak, "Val, I need to g—"
"Yo, Danny, are you guys…" Tucker's voice and frantic footsteps sounded behind them. "holy mother!"
"Jesus!" Sam shouted, appearing next to him.
Valerie cautiously approached Caitlin's body. Kneeling down, she placed two fingers in the soft hollow on the outside of her throat.
"She has a pulse," she informed, eyes gliding up to the open-mouthed, sunglasses-clad face of the now ex-Zeta president's corpse.
"She said," Valerie breathed. "'It wasn't me.'"
A/N: Well, I hoped you enjoyed the pilot of my Scream Queens-inspired Fanfiction! After playing around with the sorority idea after a couple one-shots, I've finally planned a multi-chapter story :) Think of it as an hour-long first episode. The oncoming chapters will be a bit shorter, since this first one took me forever to write!
-pb