Prologue: Deidara in Fruits Basket
Deidara could feel his head pounding. He slowly opened his eyes, rubbing at them gently and looking around. He didn't know where he was. Everything was wrong. Where were the sand and the Akatsuki cave? Why was everything covered in snow? Nothing made sense. He shivered, pulling his cloak tighter around himself. The young Akatsuki began moving, however his foot finding its way on an ice patch. He fell, hitting his head on the ground and was thus knocked out.
In the distance, a certain girl named Tohru Honda was walking along the sidewalk on her way home when, all of a sudden, she found what appeared to be a young woman fallen on the ice.
"Oh no, what's this? This poor young woman! I need to take her home! Maybe Shigure will know what to do with her!" She cried, trying her very best to carry the young ninja back to Shigure's home.
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Tohru rushed into the door, carrying Deidara to the best of her ability. Shigure heard shuffling and decided to investigate, not expecting anything spectacular. What he found was a shock to him; he hadn't expected to find Tohru carrying in a lovely young lady with long, golden blond hair, pulled up into a pony tail, bangs drooping into her eyes. The girl looked peaceful; at least, the person looked like a girl. Before anyone could even breathe, the girl before them began to stir. Tohru had set 'her' on the couch and Shigure stood to the left, watching the girl as she began to slowly awaken. She opened her eyes, her bangs obscuring one of the large, sky blue orbs. Deidara looked around wearily, unsure of his surroundings and confused about who the people staring at him were. He rubbed at the lump forming on the back of his head, feeling the swollen area and trying his best to ease the pain.
"What are you staring at, un?" He stated indignantly, shooting daggers at the two of them. Tohru's eyes brightened,
"You're a boy!" She cried cheerily, Deidara frowned,
"Of course, un! Judging from my lack of-"
Before he could continue, Kyo walked down the stairs pulling Momiji by the blonde hair atop his head,
"Get out," he shrieked loudly, pushing him away and staring at the peculiar scene in front of him, "who is that?" He stated, pointing a finger at Deidara. He felt odd on the inside, like the Space Butterfly himself had come to tell him, 'this one is special, don't tick them off'. But, like hell was Kyo about to obey the Space Butterfly, no. He walked straight up to Deidara and inspected the other, staring straight into his eye and pulling at his hair as he poked him in the chest. The other male glared at him,
"What do you think you're doing, un? I am the mighty Deidara and you dare to touch me? You dare to touch a missing nin like me?" Deidara could feel his blood starting to boil, like he was about to explode all up in all their faces, yet he restrained himself in order to hear the answer from the orange haired one. He was shocked, nobody knew who he was. Their faces showed their lack of care. He was not pleased. Instead of a response from the orange one, what he received was a cute cry from the whiny, blond one who reminded him oh so much of Tobi,
"What's a missing nin?" Momiji piped up. That was it. Deidara could feel the explosion. It was going to happen any time now…and then it didn't. He couldn't find it in himself to do it. He turned around slowly and stared into Momiji's warm blue eyes, the anger emanating from his being,
"Missing nin," Deidara began slowly, gradually increasing the volume of his voice as he continued, "Is a ninja who has run away, never to return. We draw lines in our headbands to show that we don't give a damn! I ran away from home and don't ever intend to go back! They're all ass holes; the only place for me is with the Akatsuki!" Deidara began to laugh maliciously, thinking of all the destruction he would do when he returned home, whenever it was that would be. He could hear the murmurs behind him from the others, 'he thinks he's a ninja~!' He could feel the anger rising and knew someone would die. Shigure stepped forward before any person could die, sensing the tension in the room,
"I had believed the headband was just a carefully picked accessory, I believe you pull it off quite well. It goes especially nice with the dress, my friend," he said evenly, watching as the Akatsuki bubbled over,
"It's a cloak," he said through gritted teeth,
"Oh, my apologies," Shigure said innocently, chuckling inwardly. Momiji had spent the last minute trying to wrap his mind around the words the strange man had spoken before, but was unable to do so. There was one word in particular that had confused him,
"What's the Akatsuki?" Momiji asked a second time, only to receive the worst death glare he had ever received. The lad curled up, tears springing from his eyes and threatening to fall as he turned his attention away from the glaring Akatsuki.
"I don't even dare answer that, you ignorant brat! How could you not know of the lethal Akatsuki?! So help me...I could blow you to bits!" Deidara turned to leave, but then realized that he had no place to stay. He turned back and stared straight into the eldest of Sohma's in the eyes and stated plainly, "I am in need of housing and staying here. Lend me your sleeping quarters." Shigure raised his eyebrows, flashing a smile and chuckling,
"I suppose there is one more guest room available for you," he said, gesturing to his left vaguely. "You can go find it for yourself, it isn't hidden," Deidara huffed and stomped off, searching for the room in mention. Kyo looked at the group in front of him and waited until he believed the other had stomped his way to the room, before speaking,
"I like him," was the last of the conversation Deidara heard. He didn't even know who had uttered such a phrase, but it warmed his stone cold heart. He felt his cheeks flush as he sighed,
"I like you, too, un." Deidara muttered under his breath as he walked into the room he would live in until he found a way home, flopping on the bed and staring at the ceiling. He pulled his hair down and took the cloak off of his form, settling into the bed he now called his own. His hand moved into the pouch situated at his hip, slipping inside and playing with the soft white clay.
He had a feeling that he was going to be here for a while...
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He had seemed to have fallen asleep as he stared at the ceiling and awoke to the sounds of screaming. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and pushed the hair out of his face. Yawning and stretching himself out, he walked out into the living room, leaving his cloak behind. What he saw did not please him, in fact it made his eye twitch a bit. He had walked in on a woman, stark naked, hugging Kyo's leg,
"I love you," she had said softly, only barely audible from where Deidara stood. Immediately, he turned to leave, rubbing at his temples as he knew some sort of headache was approaching. He groaned and slammed the door to his room.
He didn't understand what was up with this house, but he knew that he needed to leave soon, while his sanity was still intact.
Hello and welcome back to Deidara in Fruits Basket!
I'm Master Boss, formerly known as Burnt Taco and I missed you Naruto fans. You were all adorable. (: It's been, what, six years since I've really been in the Naruto fandom? Yeah, about that long. Sixth grade. I'm a senior now. It's cray-zay. All the things are going to be different, I want this to be more clean cut and less random-everything-whatever I feel like writing because I can't write. I want this to be good. It's going to have ideas this time around. I remember the Halloween chapter. THAT I WROTE IN JANUARY! THAT. WAS. NOT. GOOD! That is going to die. I'm killing it with fire.
Bear with me, updates will be slow, because I have school and various other things to do in my life now, but they will be so much better.
I hope you all can agree with me that my writing has improved significantly. I'm quite proud of my writing ability as of now, thank you high school English teachers.
I love writing as Deidara in Word solely because whenever I write "un" it asks if I want to change it to UN. NO, I don't want to change it to the United Nations! XD The United Nations isn't a thing in Naruto! Nope. They probably have some silly United Villages thing. That would make my nerd brain smile. I'm actually dying right now because of that and I know it's not that funny, but my nerd brain says "it's hilarious! You love this stuff!"
I feel, as well, that there should be some other elements in this besides purely comedy and parody…I want to make Deidara and Kyo awkward love interests. That would make me chuckle. Would that make you all chuckle? Leave your opinions, if you don't mind, on that thought! I love incorporating your ideas (:
Questions, comments? Feel free to leave them in the reviews! Follow and favorite if you enjoyed? I'd appreciate it (:
~Lots of Love and Muchos Besos,
Master Boss AKA Burnt Taco