lyrics from the song 'tonight' from the amazing band FM static! all credits goes to them. they are amazing and inspiring...
hope you enjoy this story, it is my second fanfic ever. and I really hope that you will text me a message - tell me what you think! : )
thank you ~ kirababykaos3
Tonight
Right now the tomb is empty, dark and scary, but in a minute the coffin will be filling it up. The bright, white coffin your body has been laid in.
In a minute, the only physical thing we have left of you, your body, will be taken away from us. The last sign of your life is going to get buried in the ground, and we are never gonna see your smile again. You smile, your red hair, your skinny body and your beautiful laugh. It will all be gone in a minute.
Everybody has told me, that they know what I am going through, but they really don't. Yeah, they have lost you too, but you are something to me, that you absolutely aren't to them. We are twins and not triplets or some bigger number! We are twins, we were. We, you and me, us. Together, forever, but not anymore. You are soon gone.
I wish you could stay with me, don't leave me Fred, please don't leave me…
This world, the world who took you away from me, is cruel. There is so reason for me to be here anymore when you aren't. Please come back to me Fred… I miss you so much.
I remember the times we spend together on those drives
I look at you and can see you just had the same thought as me. One of the best thing about having you as my twin; we thought the same things, it was almost impossible for us to fight about our opinions, our minds were linked together.
"We could just take the car George! Dad won't even realise it is gone and we will be back before he wakes up!" You smile so much that your teeth show. They shine brightly in the red afternoon light the sun is making.
And that was what we did, we just took dads car and soon we were flying high above London city. We knew that we were breaking a lot of the laws and mom was properly gonna kill us, if she found out that we had taken the car. And she would jump on our grave when she found out that we did this, just so visit Angelina and her cousin, but what the heck, we could deal with it later. We had each other, yes, we had.
We had a million questions, all about our lives
"Why can't we go into the Forbidden Forest?" Fred sounded like he didn't really care about the answer, he would go there anyway. He turned around and blinked at me. I knew how he felt. He would go and I would go with him. That was what brothers would do. They would follow each other no matter what.
"Because it is too dangerous Mr. Weasley" said professor McGonagall and gave us 'the look'. We couldn't help but laughing. She was always so serious, maybe she would one day learn that you couldn't be serious all the time, especially not when you were around the Weasley twins.
"What kind of creatures are in the forest professor?" I asked, still laughing. There was nothing in the forest that could scare Fred and me. And if we were scared, we would never admit it, we could go in there!
"I will not tell you Mr. Weasley. You don't really need to know, because you never will place your foot near the forest!" McGonagall was starring me right in the eye and I knew she meant it. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea anyway…
"Is there something that can kill us in there?" Fred was laughing pretty hard and it sounded like he couldn't stop again. I started laughing with him, knowing that McGonagall never would tell us if there actually were creatures in there that could kill us.
"Yes, there is Mr. Weasley, so you better keep a good distance from The Forbidden Forest". Her eyes were hard and we stopped laughing at once.
There was something in there that could kill us? Maybe it wasn't such a good idea anyway…
And when we got to New Work everything felt right
I stood by the fireplace, ready to leave. Mom was still flying around, trying to get all our stuff ready. Fred was helping Percy with Ginny; she was always the one that caused us the most trouble when we would go on vacation. Ginny was pretty sure that we wouldn't reach the Hogwarts Express if we went on vacation, even though we would be home tree days before the train would leave the station. Ron was walking around, calling Scrabbers name, maybe he had lost him again? That would be cool, a vacation without that little stinky rat… perfect!
Fred and Percy were walking through the door, Fred had his arms wrapped tight around Ginny's arms and Percy had her legs. She was screaming out loud and was trying to kick Percy in the stomach.
We eventually got everything packed up and were ready to leave. Dad took of first; "New York City" he said loud and clear and stepped into the green fire that surrounded him.
"Now, Fred, George; your turn!" Mom pointed at the fireplace and we walked over and yelled "New Work City" and took a step into the green fire. Next thing I knew we landed in a fireplace, in a hotel. Dad was standing in front of us and he helped us out. Soon the whole family was in New Work.
Fred grinned at me and showed me two black stones. I knew what they could do. He handed me one and soon the whole lobby was full of a black fog and Fred and me was running down the street.
I wish you were here with me tonight
I wish I had told you how much I really love you, but I never thought that you would be a fallen fighter in this fight. Life isn't fair anymore… Nothing is.
I remember the days we spend together were not enough
Second year, wow! We weren't the young ones anymore. We could sign up for Gryffindor's Quidditch team! And so we did.
The try outs weren't that hard, of course we were placed on the team. We were excellent Quidditch players. But we had the worst game ever, the first time we played against Slytherin:
Fred was falling. Down, down, down… I tried to catch him, but I was flying an old broom. I wasn't fast enough… I watched him fall, heard him scream and felt his pain when he landed on the ground. I hurried down on the ground, wanting badly to be with him, hoping it wasn't something really bad. We got him up to the hospital and placed him in a bed. Everybody from our team was there.
"Fred! What the hell were you thinking? You can't just chase one particular smasher! You can't just fly around so high above the ground; you need to stay down with the others. It's the Seekers job to fly high". Wood was screaming and I wanted to rip his head from his body. But Fred just laughed.
"So it doesn't count if I catch the Light?" He held his right arm out and opened his hand. And in his hand was something small, golden and with tiny wings. Wood started crying, even though he didn't really know whether it counted or not.
Great game, but it was just a shame we didn't won any of the other games that season.
And it used to feel like dreaming, except we always woke up.
I felt the power, work its way through my chest, through my arm, out of my hand and into the wand. I felt how the wand started to move in my hand and the bright blue light was coming out of the wand. I saw the baby fox fight its way through the night…
"Good job George, but I can do better!" Fred laughed and pointed his wand at the sky. "Expecto Patronum!" he yelled and something bright blue came out of his wand. A baby fox jumped around and Fred smiled. His beautiful smile…
I couldn't believe that he did it, just as well as I did… How unfair, finally I learn how to make a patronus and then Fred can do it too… damn… well, he couldn't have everything.
I lounged myself at his stomach and we fell on the grass, starting a fight – playfully. I laughed when Fred tried to hit me in the stomach with his fist, I knew he wouldn't hit me hard, but I still moved away. We still had our wands and our patronus' started fighting playfully too.
At last we fell on the ground, all energy had left our bodies and we fixed our eyes on the sky. It was night and we had sneaked out from the castle and into the forest. From the corner of my eye, I saw two baby foxes play on the ground…
Never thought not having you here now would hurt so much.
Sometimes I get really angry at you for leaving us like this! You never had the right to take a piece of all our hearts away from us, like you just did. It's so unfair Fred!
But how could you leave us? You hadn't even lived your life through… There were so many things that you wanted to do, but you never did any of it. Just because of a stupid fight… Yeah, I know; we saved the world, but if I could, I would go back in time and stop the fight, because I knew you wouldn't survive it. The evil could take the world, as long as I had you.
You would still be alive…
I remember the time you told me about when you were eight
"Ginny, listen too me. Just three more years and then it is your turn". I smiled and knew just exactly how she felt. Of course she wanted to go to Hogwarts!
Fred was saying goodbye to Ron and dad. He laughed and Ron looked like a tomato. His ears were all red. I couldn't believe that the day had finally come! Our first trip to Hogwarts! No Ginny, no Ron, no dad or mom for the next year! Maybe we could stay at the school for Christmas?
Fred moved over to say goodbye to mom, she was crying, I knew she would miss us!
He bend down and looked in Ginny's eyes; "What's wrong?" he asked her, afraid that she might cry if he said something.
"Why can't I come with you two? I have so much more fun with you, than I have with Ron… He is boring." Tears welled up in her eyes. She let go of mom's hand and gave Fred a hug. Fred smiled at me and winked.
He told her about how we had felt when Percy was leaving.. Yeah, we would miss him even though he was such an 'I know everything in the whole world' all the time. But we got over it after a couple of days. And Ginny could write us some letters and tell us about everything at home. She would go to Hogwarts herself in three years.
"Fred, George, now! Or else the train will leave without you". Mom gave us a last hug and we walked too the train, ready for our first year at school.
And all those things you said that night, that just couldn't wait
Fred was silent. He looked at his feet. "I am going to miss you Angelina" he said, lifting his head and meeting her eyes. She through her arms around his neck and pressed her lips against his. I had to look away for a moment. I knew this wasn't his favourite day, but I was happy. School was over and we were done doing homework. Big wide world – here we come!
Suddenly Fred was beside me, I hadn't noticed him saying goodbye to Angela.
It looked like he wanted to cry. I hated when he cried.
When we got home, he still had that sad look on his face. If he could just get rid of that face…
"I'm gonna miss her so much... What if I never see her again George?" Fred asked later that night when mom and dad were sleeping. He looked at me and tears started too roll down his cheeks. Please don't cry Fred. I can't handle it.
I tried to comfort him by laying my arm around his shoulders, but the tears kept rolling. And I knew that they would keep rolling all night and when he thought I had fallen asleep; they would still roll…
"I have never thought about what would happen after we finished school. Everything was so perfect for awhile" Fred tried to smile, but it was far away from a smile. And the tears kept rolling down his cheeks…
I remember the car you were last seen in
Can you see me now Fred? I have left the graveyard; I couldn't stand to be there. As I walk down the path to our home, I think of all the things we did together. You were and will always be my best friend. I miss you so much…
I can see the window in our room; remember the times we flew out on our brooms at night? That was funny wasn't it?
I can see mom in the kitchen, she is cleaning again. She has been cleaning the house everyday since you left us. I bet she is only doing it, because she don't like thinking about you, and cleaning keeps her thoughts away from you. I like thinking about you, thinking about how our lives would have been if you hadn't left us. We would be doing great, wouldn't we?
I can see dad, walking around in the garden. He likes thinking about you too. He misses you so much, almost as much as I do. He does the exact opposite of mom, he is doing nothing! That's because he want to think about things. I know he is thinking about you every minute of the day… Sometimes, when I look into his eyes, I am sure I can see you in his mind.
The garage is open and empty. I kind of use it as my safe place. This is where I'm hiding when I want to be alone… I remember one time, we were very young and we sat in the car in here. We played that we were driving to Germany. We wanted to see Durmstrang remember? Everything was okay back then, it isn't anymore…
And the games we would play
"Come on George, don't be such a baby" I yelled and pushed my broom to the speed limit. If I flew faster than this, it would break. Fred was right behind me.
We always had a good time when we were practicing our Quidditch skills. Fred laughed and he let go of his bat. It fell towards the ground, but Fred was faster. He caught it just before it hit the ground.
"Let me see you do that" Fred yelled back, a smile on his face. I flew higher, wanted to touch the sky. I made a turn and pulled my legs up on to my hands. I placed my feet right behind my hands and pushed hard against the broom with my feet. Soon I was flying upside down. My legs were in the air and my hands were the only thing touching the broom.
We didn't practice Quidditch after that; we were battling about who could do the most dangerous thing on his broom…
All the times we spilled our coffees
"I think I am gonna ask Angelina to go with me to the Yule Ball" Fred looked out the window. Ginny, who had just taken a swig at her Butter Beer, spit the whole thing out on the table. She looked at her big brother.
"Why do you wanna do that?" Her voice was so high that it sounded like it was going to break. Fred just looked at her, confusion on his face. He shrugged his shoulders. It didn't surprise me… I knew he liked Angelina.
I took my cup of Butter Beer and just before I could get the beer down in my stomach Ginny spoke;
"I hope Harry will ask me…" She looked out of the window, a dreaming look in her eyes, just like Fred.
I spit all the beer out on the table like Ginny did before. Fred laughed when he saw my face. I started laughing and Ginny joined us just seconds later…
And stayed out way too late
Mom smashed the paper on my shoulder.
"Where have you been?" Her eyes were on fire and they burned their way through my soul. I tried to smile at her.
"You could have been caught by the Death Eaters!!" She hit Fred with the paper and he smiled at her stupidity. The Death Eaters would never catch us.
"Relax mom, we are here now" I looked at Fred's face and I smiled.
Mom started crying; maybe she had been more worried than we thought?
"Mom, we are just a few hours late…" She through one of her arms around Fred's neck and grabbed my shirt with the other. She pulled us into a bone crashing hug.
I remember the time your sad and told me about your Jesus
Fred sighed and sat up in his bed. I rolled around and saw him looking out the window. He must have felt me looking at him, because he smiled and asked me why I wasn't asleep. I just shrugged my shoulders; I didn't really know why I had woken up.
"Where do you think Ron is right now?" Fred was still looking out the window, his eyes fixed on the sky.
"Hmm, I really don't know, but he is with Hermione and that's the best place he could be. And he's got Harry too… He is okay!" I knew he would be fine, everyone would.
I was about to fall asleep when he asked me another question.
"Do you think the world will be alright? I mean, we will win the fight and you-know-who will die in the end… I really hope that we will be alright, that everyone will." And before I could answer, he spoke again: "Do you know what George? Some of us might actually die in this fight, just like Moody…" I sat up and look out the window, suddenly with worry in my mind.
And how not to look back even if no one believes us
"It's not that I don't believe in you, but it is really hard running your own business". Mom looked at us with a sad smile. She didn't believe in us… But we could do this; people needed a laugh these days, just like Fred had said. We could sell all these fun stuff we had made. I knew it!
Fred pulled my arm and we walked outside. There was no way mom could say something that would make us doubt ourselves.
"Don't worry about it George, we can do it! Mom doesn't know what she is talking about…" Fred flashed a grin at me, and my confidence grew.
When it hurts so bad sometimes not having you here
I couldn't find Fred… He had rushed after Percy, yelling "I'll be back in a minute", because Percy wouldn't tell where he was going. I hadn't thought about all those things that could happen before he would return. The fight had started and he was gone… I couldn't find him anywhere and of course I was worried. He could be anywhere, he could just have killed someone or he could just have di… No, that wasn't possible… Fred would survive this! We all would!
I tried to find him and got in a fight with a Death Eater. I could have won without any help, but I was so worried about Fred that I was millimetres away from the killing-course. Remus helped me get out of there and I was about to run up to the third floor when I heard an explosion near by. I knew something was wrong. I heard a scream and the world stopped. I felt a pain deep inside my heart and I fell to the ground; the pain was too much. The scream had broken my heart in two and I thought I was going to die in a second. This was the worst pain you could ever feel… I felt something wet on my face and I knew it wasn't blood, it tasted like salt and I realized I was crying.
Why was I crying? I didn't even know what had happened yet, but I could only think about those entire bad things that could have happened when I walked up the stairs.
The first thing that caught my eye was the big hole in the wall, then the gigantic spider who was about to crawl into the castle through the hole. I pointed my wand at it and yelled; "Expelliamius!" It fell back and then everything was quite for a couple of seconds.
I heard myself scream. Rocks and broken frames were lying everywhere, but halfway down the hall I saw something red. I ran too the red thing that had caught my eye and I fell to my knees. This couldn't be reality… Fred wasn't dead, he would survive! He was just playing me. He couldn't just leave like that, he just couldn't…
Tonight I am falling and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are holding you tonight
I can't take it anymore Fred. You are not here anymore and I hate it. I wish I could join you where you are right now, but it wouldn't be fair. Mom would die too and then I would have killed her. I couldn't even live in death with that; knowing I killed her.
I wish I could just see your smile once more, see you once more. Feel you near me and not so fucking far away.
But I know that you are in a better place. The world is alright again, no more Voldemort, no more Death Eaters; everything is okay, except that you're not here…
I really don't understand what I am doing here. You are not here so why should I be?
I miss you so much…
~ kirababykaos i: 33