Joker's log-Arkham Asylum
An excerpt from Joker's personal log
I miss being out there. I miss messing with the Bat and killing people. I miss the excitement. Being in here is driving me crazy. Okay so some would argue I'm already crazy, but it's not my fault hurting those annoying bats and birds is so fulfilling. Well, it's not that fulfilling you never get anything more than a viscous stare from Batman. Then there's that overly talkative Nightwing. He's not a bat or a bird. No, he's some hybrid freak. Then there's the most recent Robin. I like him he's fun to play with. The boy is just so, what's the word I'm looking for? Spaz like, yeah that's it the boy is spazy. I love when you have him and he knows it and you know it. It's so thrilling, and yet cute. You can here his little heart thumping a million miles an hour and yet his breathing is still so regular. It's fasinating, really it is. Yeah, this Robin is way better than the first two. The only thing I don't like is that it's too easy to trap him. Then you always have that stupid Bat or talkative bird-bat thing known as Nightwing come in and save him. When are they going to realize that I'm trying to do them a favor? If he's that easy to catch maybe he deserves to be dead.
I saw the news today, there isn't much else to watch. That stupid two-face is out and about. He always berated me for wanting fun with my victims. He is always like shoot and then leave. Where's the fun, where's the excitement, where's the fear, where's the vibrant feeling of winning, where's the skill, where's the art, where's the torture? I don't appreciate that whole "you're going to die" and bang there gone. No, I love the whole "you're going to die…in six hours, but first were going to have fun" . Yeah, that's what I enjoy, especially with the newest Robin. I swear it's great. Even though he's wearing a mask you can see and almost feel his eyes grow wide and the worry set in. I should make him into my own little monkey boy. That be great bet you I would get more out of the Bat than a stare then.
Speaking of the Bat stare, is it wrong that I'm starting to miss it? It's been so long since I've seen it. Harley can't tell the difference in the stares, but I know him better. There is emotion in everyone of his stares, sometimes its I don't want to deal with you, sometimes its you are so predictable, sometimes it's not again, sometimes it's I'm tired, sometimes it's wow this is a new one for you. But no matter what is in that glare I know that it's meant entirely for me and no one else. See, there aren't many people that can anger the Bat I can and annoy him the way I do. That's just my gift and I love it so.
Oh, I just thought of something that bird-bat thing, that is Nightwing, he would look awesome as a flying monkey. He soars through the sky and he has the brains of a monkey. So I'm sure with a little encouragement from Uncle Joker he would make a great flying monkey. Oh, and then I can write a book called How To Train A Flying Monkey. This could be really fun for the next time I escape.
I think I have either gotten predictable in my time here or this place is run by a sadistic bastard because they keep figuring out my escape plans before I even finished making them. I'm leaning towards sadistic bastard because it takes one to know one. When I break out of here I'm going to find some intellectually interesting way of killing him. It's the least I can do. I think it should involve something with bed sheets and pie. Then I'm going to find a creative way to kill Robin. I want to see him cry. I don't know if he does cry, but it's something I would pay to see. Not my fault I'd like to see him that broken and messed up. I would like it even more to know I'm the one that did it. Awe, good times.
What was this little entry about any way? Now I have to go back to the first page and read it over to figure out what the hell I was talking about six pages ago.
Oh, right, this was supposed to be my entry about my killer brownies. Damn those birds and bats, they are just so distracting. I hate them so much and they always get me so frustrated and then I go on tangents about killing them horribly and creatively. Anyway back to my killer brownie recipe.
Tip: Make sure you have enough sianide, especially if you plan on killing a bird or bat.
The End