Hmmmm well It's out second edition of our Forbidden genre, but with a gilmore girls theme! Bilba-Mildred may have killed one too many people before writing this story, jk ;)
It's 5:04 P.M. on a Saturday and the residents of Stars Hollow are in a state of disarray.
"Alright everyone, keep it orderly. Can we please panic in an orderly fashion?" Doose said.
"My husband was just murdered!" Lindsay said. "How can you expect us to panic in an orderly fashion? Where's the police?!"
"Right here, ma'am. License and registration please. You haven't been drinking have you? I'll have you know that drinking and walking is a felony here in Connecticut. The fine for walking ten miles an hour over the speed limit is $4,000," Kirk said.
"My husband's been MURDERED and you're giving me a SPEEDING TICKET?! For walking?!" Lindsay cried incredulously.
"Yes ma'am. It's my duty to report this sort of behavior. If you'd like, you can hire an attorney and we can take this to court," Kirk stated.
"Ugh! Where is a REAL police officer when you need one?" Lindsay screamed.
"How did such a terrible event even occur in Stars Hollow? And right before the pickle festival? Now Woodbury will have to take over. We'll look like fools! Lindsay, you better control your husband next time. I don't want any more trouble like this," Doose spat.
A flustered and obviously enraged Lindsay marched up to Doose and slapped him across the face, got into her car, and drove away screaming, "I'm going to Woodbury where there's a REAL police department and the town isn't filled with a bunch of washed up nutcases!"
Three days earlier
Jess strutted down the sidewalk, back in Stars Hollow after starting his successful business, Truncheon Books, three years earlier. With his game face on, and more determined then ever to earn payback for what he always deserved, Jess was here on a mission. Rory never deserved such a douche bag as a boyfriend. She should have known better. She should've stayed with him.
Filled with deep-seeded jealousy and enmity for the floppy haired poor excuse for a man also known as Dean Forrester, Jess marched up to his old room above Luke's Diner. Luke had since moved in with Lorelai and the apartment above his eating establishment had remained vacant for three years. Cobwebs and dust bunnies littered the floors, mingling with the scant furniture Luke had left. This scant furniture composed of everything Luke would need if he would ever get into a fight with Lorelai and needed a place to stay and Jess's old things he had left behind. Jess made this apartment his base camp and it was there that he devised his somewhat sadistic strategy to dispose of the unwanted pile of meat and greasy hair that is Dean.
Jess enlisted the help of Luke, Marty, Logan, Tristan, and Kirk (even though he was then a police officer), to help formulate the perfect murder plot to rid Stars Hollow of its most unwanted resident, next to raccoons from the invasion of several years past. They sat around the decrepit coffee table in Luke's apartment for hours at a time in the late nights leading to the planned day of murder. After two days, the team was ready.
Hidden behind a dumpster in the alley of Al's Pancake Word, Jess waited for Dean to meet him at any moment. They would have their little fist fight because he doubted they can talk it out. Anyways, Jess wanted to play it dirty anyway.
Jess' crew remained behind the building, prepared to back him up if necessary.
"You wanted to talk, so let's talk," Dean stated as Jess spotted him coming around the corner.
"I want you to stay away from Rory," Jess implied with a deep tone.
"Wait, you want me to stay away from Rory when you've been away from her life for two years? You've been nothing but an additional worry that she's had to put up with. All she says is, 'I wonder where Jess is or what he's doing with his life right now?' It's always been about Jess, the guy who hasn't had a presence in her life for a year."
"And suddenly you're acting as if you two are a married couple. Is there a... I suppose an affair going on?"
"Stay out of it."
"Yeah, sure. I've always known that you weren't the right guy for her, but I never expected to discover you as a cheater."
Jess pulled out his semi-automatic pistol and shot a bullet into the air. The rest of his crew showed up with various firearms and together they blasted Dean up and riddled his now lifeless body with bullets. Guts spewing everywhere, the team high-fived each other and walked away.
"So ma'am, you're sure that's what happened? Seems pretty unlikely to me," the Woodbury police official inquired.
"BLARGHBEIHGOBK3542LSEGOODJIKLBOIJKLSM:Gv" Lindsay said as she ran out of the police department and checked herself into the nearest insane assylum where she stayed for 45 1/2 years.