Mashu:"Heehee. We read all the Fruits Basket manga (at last) and I'm pretty stoked."
Lord Cynic: "Sigh… I bet you are. So, what, will this be the start of a flurry of fics?"
Mashu:"I wish… Real Life Geek is lazy…"
Real Life Geek: "Bite me. I've got a lot on."
Pause.
Mashu and Cynic collapse on the floor with laughter. Geek growls but says nothing more.
Mashu:"Geek doesn't own Fruits Basket."
A little misunderstanding
Kyo Sohma was in a bad mood.
"Get the hell out of my way!"
Scratch that, he was pissed. He quickly cleared the corridors on his rampage to the homeroom, an irate expression on his face. Following in his tyrannous wake were the buoyant Momiji Sohma, the apathetic Hatsuharu Sohma, the exasperated Yuki Sohma and the highly embarrassed Tohru Honda. The female of the group was blushing heavily, provoking snickers from other random girls. Glares from the quartet of boys quickly silenced them, the leading Kyo throwing the most vicious ones.
When they reached the classroom, the orange-haired male nearly ripped the door off its hinges, eliciting a squeak from Tohru and a sigh from Yuki. A disgruntled scowl was sent the latter's way before Kyo scanned the room. It didn't take for him to locate his suspects: a somewhat surprised Arisa Uotani and a passive Saki Hanajima. Kyo made a beeline for them.
"Hey, you two!"
"Tohru!" Kyo was instantly brushed aside as the girls embraced the now delightedly-blushing brunette. He growled audibly as Tohru's best friends cooed and made small talk.
"Looks like they cut you off at the pass," Hatsuharu commented idly. Kyo's left eye twitched.
"Shut it, cowboy…"
"Hehe." Momiji grinned. "Poor Kyo."
"You too, bunny boy!" the enraged cat Zodiac yelled, bopping the younger blonde boy harshly on the head. Momiji immediately began wailing.
"Uwaah! Kyo's being mean!" His wailing increased when Kyo drilled the side of his head with his fists.
"Really, stupid cat, must you be so uncouth?" Yuki asked rhetorically, shaking his head with disdain.
"What the hell is it to you, damn rat?" Kyo spat. He deliberately avoided asking, "and what does uncouth mean anyway?" because he'd just get another smartass comment. He finally released the rabbit Zodiac from the headlock and marched towards the trio of girls. "Hey, Yankee and Psychic! I have a bone to pick with you!"
"What a coincidence," Uotani smirked, cracking her knuckles. Kyo winced at the slightly sickening sound it made. "Hana and I have bones of yours to break."
"And disintegrate," Hanajima deadpanned, the area surrounding her darkening rapidly.
"U-Uo, Hana," Tohru stuttered, sensing hostility. She was held back by Yuki who shook his head.
"He had this coming," was all he said before he led her out of harm's way. Hatsuharu and Momiji were already sucking on lollipops and looking as unfazed as ever.
"B-But…" As Uotani and Hanajima stalked the flustered Kyo, Tohru was getting increasingly anxious. Her eyes were turning into spirals.
"Don't worry," Momiji tried to reassure her. He grinned with the lollipop stick poking out of his mouth. "I'm sure they won't hurt him."
'I doubt it.'
'Stupid cat's going to get himself killed.'
'K-Kyo…'
"O-Oy, don't turn this back on me!" Kyo argued. "I'm the one who has the right to be angry!"
"Not after what we just heard," Uotani said threateningly.
"What do you mean, after what you just heard?" Kyo demanded. He was getting edgier than usual around Tohru's psycho friends. "Just what the hell have you been saying to Tohru?"
"We'll show ourselves out," Hatsuharu said. He and Momiji walked to the door, still sucking on their lollipops. Before the black-and-white-haired boy vanished into the corridor, he threw a casual "Don't get lonely without me" over his shoulder at Yuki.
The grey-haired tiredly moaned and Tohru fretted over him. He smiled consolingly at the brunette girl and assured her he was fine. "You should be more worried about the stupid cat," he half-heartedly suggested, indicating the squabbling trio with his hand.
"We know exactly what happened last night," Hanajima drawled. "Tohru confides in us about everything."
"Everything?" Kyo stared pointedly at Tohru who blushed apologetically. "What the hell did you tell them?"
"Don't talk harshly to her," Yuki warned him with a steely gaze.
"You keep out of this!" Kyo shouted. He turned to the Yankee and Psychic. "I didn't do anything!" He suddenly remembered why he'd confronted them in the first place. "You're the ones who told Tohru to jump me, damnit!"
"Jump you?"
"Jump you?"
"E-Eh?!" Tohru blushed again, even though she didn't really know what it meant.
Kyo was getting nervous. That wasn't the response he was expecting. He glanced between the Yankee and the Psychic and started to sweat. The former was trying not to laugh and the latter was simply staring at him. Just as he was about to ask (rudely) what she was doing, Hanajima uttered the words that froze him to the core.
"Are you insinuating we gave Tohru advice on how to jump you?"
Tohru was now scarlet-faced and Kyo wasn't too far behind. Yuki had covered his face with one hand and was muttering what sounded like "Neanderthal".
"So," Uotani said, having composed herself, "you think we taught sweet, innocent Tohru how to pounce on men?" She cracked her knuckles as Kyo began to pale. "You assume we instructed darling, adorable Tohru on how to catch unsuspecting boys?"
"U-Uo," Tohru squeaked, "p-please don't hurt Kyo…"
"We don't hurt him," Hanajima said airily although she was emitted a dangerous aura.
"Too much," Uotani added, advancing on the alarmed cat Zodiac. "We just need to fix up this little misunderstanding."
"Hold on!" Kyo yelled, backing up in front of a desk. "If it wasn't you, then who the hell was it?"
Uotani and Hanajima halted in their tracks and Kyo breathed an internal sigh of relief. Pensive expressions covered the blonde and black-haired girls' faces and Tohru discreetly blushed again.
"Good question, Orangey," Uotani commented, crossing her arms.
Kyo squeezed out of harm's way of the Yankee and Psychic and glanced at Tohru. He was mildly amused to watch her jump when they made eye contact but didn't see Yuki narrow his eyes but otherwise do nothing as he watched up to the flustered brunette.
"Tohru," Kyo started, "if it wasn't your friends who told you to do…that," he blushed, "then who was it?"
"Don't worry, Miss Honda," Yuki placated the hyperventilating girl, "we all know you wouldn't do a thing like… that unless you were told to."
Tohru stuttered and stammered repeatedly, staring at the floor and blushing steadily. Uotani and Hanajima smirked and smiled respectively and even Yuki's mouth curved slightly upwards at Tohru's nervousness. Kyo was the only one keeping a completely straight face, although he was mentally swearing bloody redemption on the fiend responsible for Tohru's… out-of-character behaviour.
"Well?" Kyo insisted. "Who was it?" Tohru hesitated, and Kyo could tell she didn't want to get in trouble. "I'm not gonna kill you," he assured her almost teasingly, before adding, "Just whoever told you to do what you did."
"O-Okay." Tohru lifted her head nervously. Her eyes darted around the room before focussing on Kyo's expectant face. Memories of the previous night suddenly resurfaced in her mind, renewing her blush.
"Dinner's ready!" Tohru called cheerfully, holding a pot of chicken stew between her mitten-clad hands. She walked delicately to the eating table and rested the pot on the middle of the surface. She smiled gleefully at a job well done, earning appreciative smiles in return from Yuki and Shigure.
One member of the household, however, was absent. Tohru voiced her concern over the matter, provoking a scoff from Yuki as he served himself rice.
"He's probably gotten himself run over," he muttered offhandedly before munching the rice. "Don't worry about it," he said between bites.
Of course, Tohru only took the bad comment literally and panicked. Her eyes expanded comically at the prospect of a dead Kyo in the middle of a road and she ran around the room in a spaz. She rapidly uttered pleas for the orange-haired boy's wellbeing, unaware of Yuki's high or Shigure's amused smile behind a newspaper. She was finally stopped, and placated, when the front door slid open, admitting the subject of her frenzy.
"I'm home," the gruff voice of Kyo called out from the entrance. Tohru greeted him with a relieved smile and he looked at her strangely. "What's with you? You look like you've run a mile."
"Oh nothing!" the brunette replied with a laugh and a nervous smile. "Are you hungry?" She noticed Kyo glance at Yuki who pointedly ignored him. A feeling of dread rose to her stomach.
"Nah." Tohru couldn't help but feel disappointed as Kyo stomped upstairs to his room.
"Ahh," Shigure sighed suddenly, rubbing his stomach. "It really is Kyo's loss. Your cooking is as impeccable as ever, darling maiden of the kitchen."
"Shigure might sound like a creep," Yuki said, "but he's right. It was delicious, Miss Honda. Good night."
"Good night," Tohru whispered, preoccupied with Kyo's sullen mood. She didn't catch Yuki giving her a concerned glance before making his way upstairs. She was very much in her own thoughts… and Shigure. "I hope Kyo's okay."
"Why don't you check in on him?" the aforementioned man suggested with a wry grin.
"B-But, won't Kyo get angry?" Tohru fiddled with the hem of her skirt. "I don't want him to get mad at me."
"Have no fear, dear maiden. Kyo would be a monster of a man to get mad at you." Shigure reassured the brunette. "I know what you should do! Give him a great big hug!"
"Ah!" Tohru squeaked. "But-But, won't he transform? Then he really will get mad at me!"
"Just try it out for me," Shigure said, standing up and kneeling eye-level with Tohru. "Believe me when I say Kyo won't get mad at you." He internally grinned and thought, 'Plus, blackmail is always good!'
"O-Okay," Tohru said quietly with a slight blush. She excused herself and ascended the stairs, intent on her mission. She reached Kyo's room and carefully pressed an ear to the door.
There was no sound.
Tohru took a deep breath, steeled her resolve and slid the bedroom door open. She couldn't see anything in the darkness of the room but could faintly hear Kyo's light breathing as he slept. She watched him peacefully before remembering her objective and tiptoeing towards his slumbering figure.
Unfortunately, she tripped – on thin air – and fell on top of him.
POOF
"What the hell?" Tohru was dazed from the fall until Kyo's enraged voice caused her to recover quickly and scuttle to the far side of the room. She saw his cat eyes flare at her in the darkness. "What the hell are you doing?"
"I'm sorry!" Tohru yelled in fright. She cowered under Kyo's intense glower. "It's… it's just… I was told…"
"By who?" Tohru didn't answer and Kyo's eyes narrowed deeper. "Damnit, I bet it was your wacko friends!"
"B-But -"
POOF
"EEK!"
Tohru ran out as Kyo transformed to human form and no more was said that night. No one noticed Shigure skulk away, giggling like a schoolgirl and clutching a camera.
"Shigure said that Kyo wouldn't get mad," Tohru whispered.
Everyone heard her.
"Shigure?!" Kyo was livid.
"Shigure…" Yuki was exasperated.
"Shigure, eh?" Uotani was amused.
"Dog man…" Hanajima was pensive.
"P-Please, he meant well," Tohru said in a vain attempt to soothe Kyo.
The cat-like boy was silent – until Tohru said at him with enlarged, teary eyes. He couldn't help but give a reluctant nod.
"Thank you!" Tohru beamed and Kyo blushed.
"Whatever." To Kyo's dismay he would be teased about being "whipped" for the rest of the day. That gave him more of a reason to kick Shigure's ass when Tohru wasn't around.
When the Sohma's and Honda returned home, the boys tried to ignore Shigure's smug expression.
It worked – until Shigure made the mistake of dropping an incriminating photo.
Tohru couldn't stop Kyo from wrecking half the house in his rampage. She just slipped the photo into her pocket with a blush and slipped upstairs to her room to treasure it.
The End