Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own anything.

01. Nightly Terrors

The nights at Skyhold were rarely warm. The chilling wind from the mountain peaks would leave Lumiere tossing and turning in her bed late into the night. Her window would occasionally hit against the frame with each passing gust. Lumiere stared at the ceiling of her room, her thoughts wandering around as the hours rolled by closer to dawn. Lately she had been unable to sleep as Corypheus had plagued her nights since the fall of Starkhaven. It had been a few weeks now since the Inquisition formed, yet the image of a great dragon nearly swallowing her whole remained etched in the depths of her mind. Lumiere turned to her side as she stared out the window. The pitch black night showed her nothing outside of those arches. This was becoming a routine she was not pleased to experience.

It must have been past midnight by now as Lumiere slid out of her bed, grabbing a robe to done over herself. The shirt tucked underneath the silk smoothly with her long pants covering the skin of her legs. She crept across the room towards the door. The icy surface sent a shiver down her spine as she pushed into the wood. The door quietly let loose allowing Lumiere to sneak out through a small space before closing the entrance again. Her footsteps were barely audible on the stairs that she descended towards the great hall. She wondered if there was anyone else awake so late into the night.

The empty throne was basked in moonlight as she passed it to continued down the hall. Lumiere's shoes gave a faint knock against the floor with each step. She half expected to see the shine of candle light from the done tower of Solas' chamber. It was a surprise to see the room completely dark. She approached the main doors that were still slightly ajar. Peering through the crack, Lumiere caught sight of the warm shine on the snow that emanated from the tavern windows. There were still people inside as she could hear a few yells of joy that eerily resonated against the castle walls. Lumiere took a deep breath, bracing for the cold wind that would strike at her exposed skin. Her feet would soon be freezing as she gave a mad dash across the newly formed snow.

She nearly rolled into the tavern as she made it through the main door. She paused to glance around, hoping that she had not made too big of an entrance. Thankfully, most of the visitors had been too indulged in their alcohol to notice a very clumsy Inquisitor fumble through the crowd. She also took notice of the many that also had similar nightly attire. People must have had trouble sleeping as well, she thought. Lumiere could make out some familiar faces of the soldiers as well as the new recruits that had arrived just days prior. The Inquisition was quickly growing, attracting all sorts of interesting individuals from every corner of the world. Her advisers must have been quite busy to gather such a lively group so soon.

Lumiere continued to walk through the tavern before finding a seat at a small table in the far corner. She could see Bull across the room sharing a long story with his men in a circle as each chimed in to finish the tale. Krem was shooting jokes on the side to liven up the atmosphere as Bull retaliated back. One of the waitresses walked over to Lumiere shortly. Her soft blonde curls shaped her face that smiled gently from cheek to cheek. The woman leaned forward a little to take her order.

"Burton Ale, please." Lumiere spoke up as the woman jotted down the note. She quickly left as she appeared to fulfill the request. The roaring voices of the tavern continued to drown out all thought she tried to weave together. It wasn't exactly prime time for deep philosophical breakthroughs either, considering.

She could feel her eyes getting heavier. Lumiere reached up to brush aside her straw brown hair and rub at her temples. The bangs fell idly to one side, giving a light tickle on her skin. When the waitress returned with the ale, Lumiere took in a deep drink of the beverage. The warmth ran down her throat sending sparks of dizziness to her head. She leaned back against the wall to observe the rest of the bustling tavern in a dreamy haze.

"It's a surprise seeing you here, Inquisitor."

Lumiere turned her head to her side slowly. Her lack of sleep was starting to take its toll as the dim light of candles danced with the brilliant brown hue of her neighbor's eyes.

"I could say the same to you." Lumiere murmured under her breath. There was a rush of confidence with her next word, "Commander."

Cullen let a low chuckle. "I guess you're right."

It certainly was unusual to find people of the war table at a tavern. Needless to say, so late at night as well. Lumiere had never seen Lelianna outside of her study at the tower while Josphine slaved over her paperwork until the depths of the night. Cassandra occasionally would leave her work to assist the Inquisitor on the field. Only afterwards would she join her company with Varric to spend the rest of the day at rest. Yet this was the first time Lumiere had seen Cullen outside of his normal routine. Normally he would retire to his office within Skyhold. Normally he would turn away from her passing and offer little words while with her alone. Normally he would never be so close to her arm. It was unusual.

From the corner of her eye she could see him take a sip from his own mug. His gaze was fixated on the people singing by the fireplace. Cullen was mainly out of his usual attire and in casual wear. Suddenly, Lumiere realized how foolish she must have been in just her robe with a loose shirt and pants underneath. In the presence of the Inquisition Commander, her whole appearance was outright disgraceful.

"The night has been keeping you up then, Commander?" She tried to trail in a new conversation hoping to keep her mind off of her current state. "Bad dreams?"

"Terribly bad dreams. Andraste couldn't help me back to sleep." Cullen paused from his drink to turn his attention in her direction. "So I come down here occasionally at night. There are less familiar faces by now and anyone who is around that I know are either too hammered to recognize me or passed out on the floor. It creates a sort of... anonymity. And the sounds drown out my thoughts enough for me to calm down."

Lumiere nodded slightly. She could sympathize with his statement but her shoulders still felt tense. The Commander rarely left his office much less the war table. Seeing him out in the public alongside her teammates made Lumiere a bit nervous. She was expecting him to comment on her ragged appearance or how ill fit she was to run an Inquisition. At least that would have seemed much more 'normal' than what she was seeing. His eyes would always follow her, always analyzing her every move. It was as if he constantly waited for her to fail at her duties. Lumiere felt her head spin as her throat began to dry. She glanced to her side to a familiarly distant gaze that stared back.

"And you?" Cullen asked to follow up.

"I'm afraid that I'm in the same boat." Lumiere shrugged with a hint of laughter in her voice, "Nightmares aren't the best of company."

Cullen scratched his chin idly. "I'm with you on that one. At least you're much more pleasant for company that screaming women with bleeding eyes whose teeth fall out."

"That's..." Lumiere paused, "Gruesome. I wish my dreams do not tread in that path anytime soon."

"I hope you don't have to see those women either." Cullen chuckled.

Their conversation grew silent allowing the tavern noise to deafen their surroundings again. Lumiere's eyes widened as she took note of how near the Commander was to her shoulder. His lips pursed when his forearm brushed against hers. The heat radiating off his touch caused Lumiere to catch her breath. Without thinking she leaned towards the warmth.

And in that instant Cullen pulled away. The red sneaked across his cheeks. His ears felt scorched.

Lumiere attempted to remember how to breathe. The flush of her skin burned now. Maybe it was the ale after all.

"D-does it hurt?"

Cullen's grip on his mug tightened. The skin on the back of his neck formed goosebumps. "What?"

"You have a scar." He could see the cogs in her brain turn, trying desperately to search a new subject. Something... anything to tread away from his current state of blunder. Lumiere looked back up to face him. Her calm was slowly hardening, casting forth a mask to conceal her nervousness. "Does it still hurt?"

"No," Cullen let out a quiet sigh. He attempted to follow along on the conversation. "It used to. But it healed over time."

"Oh..." Lumiere broke her gaze to look back at her mug. The tavern bustle returned to her thought. She looked up to see that no one had moved from their places as people continued to enjoy the night. She took in a sharp breath before continuing. "Sometimes my vallaslin throbs... but then I remember after whom it was carved into my skin and I feel that I can continued carrying her sign. The pain becomes irrelevant."

"Does it give you strength?"

Lumiere reached up to her eye unconsciously. Her fingers traced at the markings as Cullen inched forward with every move. She turned to face him once more, merely seconds away. It surely must have been the ale. "These markings are devoted to Sylaise. She is someone I look up to. Someone I wish to live by example."

"You must be proud then?" Cullen's voice grew deeper. The sound that came from his throat was low and guttural. His body tensed to regain control.

"I... I thought I was," Lumiere searched her brain to form a response, "Solas said something peculiar not too long ago... about my marking. He said that the true history of the vallaslin is not as pleasant as I imagine it. I'm rather boggled by his statement."

A grim silence drew over her face. She was now focused elsewhere without paying much mind to everything around her. Cullen's brows furrowed. He looked down at his drink that swirled against the mug surface.

"It seems like you two have a hard time getting along." His statement brought her back quickly. Lumiere's head snapped in his direction with confusion in her eyes.

"I...no, I don't think that's the case," She let her fingers tighten around her cup until her knuckles turned white, "Solas is a very valued teammate. He has much knowledge and advice. I am lucky to know such a person that does not look down at my simplicity."

Cullen raised an eyebrow, "Simplicity? I hardly believe you're that simple."

His sudden laugh caused Lumiere to startle in her seat. The man's smile was contagious.

"Maybe young... and still unsure of her position as Inquisitor, but not simple." Cullen spoke up again, "You have much to learn but you're far from being boring."

The deafening sound of the tavern was drowned out once again. The pounding in her ears made Lumiere weak in the legs. This was unexpected on her part. Lumiere was certain that the Commander was displeased with her current performance as Inquisitor. She wasn't about to hear praise. She wasn't ready to head those kind of words from him. The kind words that she was unfamiliar with. The skin of her cheeks flushed a new hue. It was a different type of embarrassment now. "You're too considerate, Commander."

Cullen raised an eyebrow, "Does it bother you?"

"N-no!" Lumiere jumped in her seat. She could not look back up the man into his eyes. Her heart raced a million beats. "H-how did you get it?"

"My scar?" He questioned once more to understand the subject as Lumiere bounced all over the place. She gave a small nod, her eyes still fixated on the mug. Cullen adjusted himself as his hand fell behind her shoulder idly. He dared not allow it to touch her backside. "It was during my time at Kirkwall. It's not the most pleasant of memories to recall."

Lumiere twitched at his statement. She turned to face him with all of the strength she could muster. She could tell he was getting lost in the thought of the event. Without thinking, her hand reached up. The touch of her fingers against his lips sent another chill down Cullen's spine. Lumiere focused on the scar, avoiding his shocked stare. It took a while before she registered exactly what she had done. The consequences of her actions would be dire as she attempted to press on the conversation, hoping to distract him enough from her carelessness.

Obviously it was far too late.

"Was this because of the mage rebellion during your time as a templar?"

"Inquisitor..."

"Was it difficult for you to have to make such drastic decisions between the two parties?"

"...Lumiere."

"Did you have to choose between th-!"

The firm softness of his lips was on her skin. He leaned in to brush against the corner of her mouth, barely hovering. Cullen could hear her sharp gasp as her body stiffened under him. Her hand dropped down to his collarbone where her fingers now touched his neck. It was such an innocent gesture that still did not prevent him from advancing further. His own hand reached up to grasp hers in place. He pressed forward once more, avoiding her lips. His nose brushed against her cheek lightly. A low growl escaped him as his eyes closed to the sensation of her fragile skin.

This sound had brought her to senses. Lumiere pushed herself backwards, slamming her head into the corner wall on accident. The sharp pain rushed throughout her skull, pounding and throbbing intensely. She hissed under her breath at the impact, hoping it would not turn into a headache. Suddenly the familiar warmth of his hand snaked around her to pat her head.

"Are you alright?" His voice was filled with worry. "Can you see fine? Inquisitor?"

Lumiere looked everywhere but his face to distract her pain. The tavern was not aware of her childish mistake, nor did it seem to notice their earlier contact. Unless the whole crowd was averting their gaze. "Y-yes. It's fine."

She jumped to her feet nearly missing the candle that could have been knocked off the table along with her mug. That was not going to be another disaster she was to live through. Lumiere could feel the heat rising from her face as her vision blurred. Her head spun from a rush of anxiety. Everything... everything this man had done tonight was driving her over the edge. The Commander was a force that she could not stop and that intimidated her to no end. Lumiere grasped about to gather herself before slipping around the table. She dropped a few coins on the surface just as Cullen's palm clasped over her wrist. The sensation shot up her hand in an instant.

"I'm sorry... it's just very late and my process of thought... not the greatest at three in the morning." He barely whispered the words, "Please... allow me to walk you back to the main hall."

"N-no!" Her voice spilled out a little too loud. The people around started to take notice. "I'll be alright... thank you."

Lumiere bolted for the door. She could not recall whether he called out to her again. She could not tell whether anyone else had said anything either. Everything swam in a colorful blur as Lumiere tumbled out of the tavern and into the night snow. The weather had picked up and more flakes pilled all around. As she ran across the courtyard towards the great hall, her shoes soaked into the depths of the chilling white road. Her blazed cheeks contrasted against the winter atmosphere. Thoughts raced far too quickly for her to attempt to process them. The corner of her mouth burned.

The only thing clear on her mind was an immense urge to crawl into a cave and never see the light of day.

Unfortunately, that day was only hours away. And Cassandra had scheduled an early morning meeting at the war table.