Over You
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Meredith and Finn
Summary: Meredith reflects on a very important day in her life.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Author's Note: I wrote this because I really saw potential in Meredith Grey in early season two after she finds out about Derek's marriage to Addison. This is how I kind of saw that potential be realized.
For a very long time Meredith Grey thought that the worst things in life happened to her.
She was the only one that these kinds of things happened to. The bad things happened to her and nobody else. Her father left. Her mother never cared. Her childhood was one to forget. Then her mother forgot her all together because of her illness, Derek was married and never told her. All bad things happened to Meredith Grey.
Now that it's all said and done
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down
Like an old abandoned house
Derek Shepherd was one of the most exciting and surprising things to ever happen to her.
He was charming, funny, interesting, caring, brilliant, and extremely good-looking. And he liked her. He cared about her; when he would smile at her and her heart would flutter. It was exhilarating to have someone like him in her life was a blessing and she fell very hard, very fast.
She valued the time they spent together. He was exciting and new and something that was so foreign to her. What she had with him she had never had before with anyone. She felt comfortable. The time they had together was relaxing and sexy and fun. It also had an element of intimacy and normalcy to it that she never knew existed.
He was perfect. He was McDreamy.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath
I fell too far, was in way too deep
Guess I let you get the best of me
Like most things that happened to her, it came crashing down upon her. One minute she was prepared for a dinner date with her neurosurgeon boyfriend and the next he was married.
One minute Derek was hers and in the next minute he was a husband to someone else. No warning, no hint, nothing, nada. He went from single to married for over a decade in less than two seconds and she never saw it coming.
Her whole life caved in on her and she tried to stop it. She tried to stop it from happening to her but it was all in vain.
Well, I never saw it coming
And I should've started running
A long, long time ago
And I never thought I'd doubt you
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know
I'm slowly getting closure
Derek chose his wife. She knew he was going to. Meredith had a feeling in her gut since the moment Addison arrived that something wasn't right. The situation only had one ending and the man she loved left her for the wife he never mentioned in the two months they spent together.
He chose Addison. He chose not to sign. He stayed married to Satan, the woman who walked into the hospital like she owned it and stole her McDreamy right out from under her nose.
I guess it's really over
I'm finally getting better
And now I'm picking up the pieces
From spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through
I got over you
The heartbreak in the aftermath of the whole ordeal was more than she had been prepared for. She was left behind by yet another guy in her life. Her once lonely existence was made even lonelier in his absence. Derek tainted every aspect of her life, her home, her bar, her friends, her work, everything. It ached to see him at the hospital with Addison, his wife.
It ached to be without him.
It was almost unbearable. The ache of his loss stung. It almost hurt her physically. It was so abrupt and it had happened so fast that she had no time to ever get used to the thought of it. It was the idea of no Derek in her life. He was there and then he wasn't and she was left to pick up the pieces.
A life left in shambles because she had fallen in love with a married man that she had not known was married.
So yet another bad thing happened to Meredith Grey.
You took a hammer to these walls
Dragged the memories down the hall
Packed your bags and walked away
There was nothing I could say
And when you slammed the front door shut
A lot of others opened up
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me
Derek did not help the situation any either. He chose Addison but he looked at her. Derek would smile at her. He would tell her things that she doubted he told his wife. He shared moments with her that she doubted he shared with his wife. Derek would say things to her that made her have hope. It was hope that told her that he was just doing the right thing, being the good guy.
Derek could recite every detail of their last kiss like it was engrained in his memory forever. He would look at her longingly and smell her hair. Derek would flat out tell her he wasn't over her and he had invited her to walk Doc without Addison.
And all of it culminated on the night of prom…
Well, I never saw it coming
And I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know
I'm slowly getting closure
That night was a wakeup call in more ways than one to all of the people involved. That night was a disaster for so many reasons and inflicted so much hurt on so many hearts. It made everyone wake up and see that life was fragile and could be gone in an instant. It made people see what their actions did to others and that things could always get worse but more than anything, for Meredith, that night was the night she truly saw Derek Shepherd for what he was.
He was a guy who was hurt by his wife and trying to deal with that pain and hurt. It made her see that he was nothing special and that what they had was an illusion. It was never real. It was never anything more than lust and sometimes not even that.
I guess it's really over
I'm finally getting better
And now I'm picking up the pieces
From spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through
I got over you
It made her see that he was never focused on her but on a woman that hurt him.
Addison. Everything he had done in Seattle was because of her. She was his reason for doing everything good and bad. And what Meredith had with him could never compare to a marriage and that deserved respect. She just chose not to see it at first.
Meredith realized that she had gotten in the way of a marriage. That was a relationship between two people that had promised to love each other for the rest of their lives because she was lonely.
She was a self-centered person that had pushed herself into a situation that had nothing to do with her.
And here is the thing she had come to learn, she chose to do it. Sleeping with Derek in that exam room was not something that just happened to her. She chose to do it and will forever regret it.
Well, I never saw it coming
And I should've started running
A long, long time ago
And I never thought I'd doubt you
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know
I'm slowly getting closure
In the months that had followed the prom a lot changed.
Addison decided that enough was enough and left Derek.
She packed up her bags and moved out of the trailer. She served him with papers and would refuse to speak to him unless it concerned a patient. The relationship turned cold, bitter, and angry and affected the entire hospital because no one wanted to work with either Shepherd under any circumstances.
Meredith just sat back and watched them deal with their own problems. They had nothing to do with her anymore. She no longer wanted to put herself in between their marriage. She had briefly considered telling Addison she was sorry but put the idea to the side when she figured out that it wouldn't do any good.
She wouldn't disrespect them anymore.
It took a long time for the Shepherds to get it together and their divorce was finalized but as soon as they were no longer legally bound to the other they must have figured out they loved each other because within a few months of their divorce… they remarried.
And the most surprising part to Meredith was that she was happy for them, very truly happy for both of them.
I guess it's really over
I'm finally getting better
And now I'm picking up the pieces
From spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through
I got over you
Meredith sighed and stared at herself in the mirror. She was wearing an off-white dress that went only an inch past her knees with her hair swept back in curls. The only jewelry she wore was a simple gold chain around her neck and a diamond ring on her left hand.
She did not really know why she was thinking about all of this today. Of all days, it was a day for happiness and hope, not regret and sadness. But maybe she was thinking of Derek Addison and all that had happened to remember what got her to this very day.
Today was her wedding day. A simple civil ceremony at the courthouse and she wanted to remember how she got here and how she had grown. Meredith used to think that things just happened to her but she knew now that you have to own up to her your actions good or bad.
She had learned what it was like to really be in love and that you had to love yourself first. Over the years so much had changed and it was amazing she was at this place in her life.
It was a happy, content place that she loved.
Knock. Knock.
The door opened a second later and she smiled at who was on the other side. His hair was a little scruffy but the black pinstriped suit he wore accented his lean form and the sky blue shirt made his eyes sparkle.
"You ready?" He asked with a huge grin.
She turned around on her vanity seat and nodded.
"Yeah, Finn, meet you downstairs in a minute?" She replied with a smile only he could evoke from her.
He nodded and walked back out the door. When the door closed again she glanced at her reflection in the mirror. She and Finn had been dating for a few years and she knew that he was the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life.
No, he wasn't McDreamy and in the end that was what she loved most about him.
Putting my heart back together
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through
I got over you
End.
Please Review.