Disclaimer: Jane Austen's books do not have copyright, they belong to the public domain. I do not own "Pride and Prejudice". The image used is free to use (including for commercial use) and comes from sladkovskaivka on Pixabay.

Conversation in the carriage

"And where are we going now?"

Colonel Fitzwilliam was thoroughly confused as he looked at his cousin, whose strange behaviour was starting to unnerve him.

"I don't know," was the curt reply.

"Darcy, I must say, I don't understand why you left two days out of our business schedule. You wanted to leave Rosings on Saturday and yet only scheduled the meeting with Lord – for Wednesday. It's half a day's journey at most. What were you thinking?"

Darcy did not reply. He looked out the window of the carriage to avoid his cousin's scrutinizing gaze. Finally, he deigned to reply.

"I don't know what I was thinking. But surely you wouldn't have wanted to stay until Tuesday? Or am I mistaken and do you crave our aunt's company?"

Colonel Fitzwilliam chuckled at that, "I can't say that I do, but I do crave a young lady's company whose acquaintance I had the pleasure of making in Kent."

Darcy scowled. The colonel was bewildered.

"Darcy, what has gotten into you?"

Silence.

"Did something happen with Miss Bennet?"

More silence.

"I understand that you two aren't on the most friendly terms, but it's a bit childish to hold such a grudge."

Darcy turned to face his cousin and looked him square in the face.

"What did you just say?"

"I said that I understand there is a mutual dislike, but as reasonable people you should really..."

"What!" exclaimed Darcy, "You think there is a mutual dislike? Where did you get such an idea?"

Fitzwilliam seemed slightly embarrassed, "Well, Miss Bennet hinted at it repeatedly I fear. And well... I thought maybe so did you."

Darcy hid his face in his hands. His shoulders shook slightly. He looked up at his cousin and said in a strangled voice, "How could I have missed the signs? How could I have been so blind?"

Colonel Fitzwilliam didn't understand at all what Mr Darcy was getting at. Finally, he said. "You'll have to explain that to me. But first, let us tell the coach where to go."

Darcy waved a hand dismissively, "Let's just go two days earlier to London."

Colonel Fitzwilliam relayed the instructions.

"Will you finally tell me why you are in such a state?"

Darcy sighed and grimaced. "I don't know where to start."

"How about, at the beginning," said the colonel with a wry grin.

"The beginning..." repeated Darcy softly, "well... I accompanied my friend Bingley and his sisters into Hertfordshire where he was letting Netherfield. I met a lady there and I... I fell in love."

Darcy blushed slightly at these words but managed to maintain some composure. His cousin could tell from his tone of voice that the story did not have a happy ending.

"You fell in love?" his voice was permeated with disbelief.

"Yes, Fitzwilliam, I fell in love. Good gods, why are you so surprised? Does everyone think me a heartless devil? Even my own cousin who knows me quite well, I dare hope, cannot fathom that I could feel love?"

"I know you can feel love," countered the colonel, "you love Georgiana very dearly. I just think it's amazing you found someone you love so seriously romantically considering how picky you are. And I'm surprised you're so... vocal about it."

"You asked," Darcy replied pointedly.

"That I did. It still doesn't explain the attitude. What happened? Is she already married? Did she die? Did she refuse you? Did you fall out of love? Was she not sincere in her affections? Pray, explain."

Darcy had blanched considerably during this speech. "You... you considered the possibility that I might get refused."

"But of course. Everyone must consider that possibility; even the mightiest of kings would need to consider it. You're a great fellow, Darcy, but that doesn't mean you must be so unanimously liked that everyone you asked would consent to marry you."

Darcy paled even further. His cousin was starting to get worried.

"Darcy, are you all alright?"

"I'm such a fool!" Darcy cried suddenly, throwing his hands into the air in a wild gesture.

He took long breaths to calm himself, while the colonel looked on, alarmed.

"I... I proposed to Miss Elizabeth Bennet and she rejected me. Quite harshly, I might add."

Colonel Fitzwilliam was slightly dumbstruck by this confession.

"Err... all my condolences."

"I was so sure she would accept me that I'd already planned in two days to travel to Longbourn and ask for her father's consent before our business. What do you now think of my vanity? By all means, don't hold back, I've already heard it all. And it's much worse coming from her mouth."

Colonel Fitzwilliam wasn't sure what to reply.

"Look, Darcy, ..."

Silence.

"Well, perhaps..."

Silence.

"I'm sorry I don't really know what to say. Has there been some misunderstanding...?"

Darcy snorted, "Yes, several, but it doesn't make as much difference as one would think. Even without those, she still feels I am the... 'the last man in the world' she 'could ever be prevailed on to marry.' "

"Ouch."

"Indeed."

"Did you at least try to clear the misunderstandings?"

"I did. I wrote her a letter."

"And how did she react?"

"I don't know. We left."

"What? Why didn't you wait for her reply?"

"What for? She dislikes me for more reasons."

Fitzwilliam was silent for a while before he explained, "Your regard for Miss Bennett was not at all evident, I assure you. I probably wouldn't have guessed if you hadn't told me. Perhaps she was very much surprised by your proposal and... perhaps she has misjudged your character. You are quite a confusing character."

"Thanks, that's very helpful," Darcy said wryly. Suddenly, he pointed an accusatory finger at his cousin, "And, my dear cousin, I suspect that you were not quite indifferent to Miss Bennett yourself. I'm still not sure if it was a passing fancy or something more serious, but you did or do feel something!"

"I do," replied Colonel Fitzwilliam calmly, "There's no need to be so upset about it. She's nice and witty and charming and pretty. Yes, I like her very much indeed. But don't be alarmed, I'm not in the competition. She'll just remain a good friend. I'll marry where there is fortune and even more feelings than just this fancy."

"I'm not in the competition either," Darcy replied sourly, "I'm completely out of the running. For God's sake, I've been the last one in the running since the beginning! And don't talk about her as if she is some prize to be won!"

"I never said that." The Colonel was very patient with his annoying cousin, understanding that he was quite distressed at the moment.

"Pardon me, cousin, I never meant to offend you... I'm just so... so..."

Darcy was at a loss for words.

"Heartbroken?" supplied Colonel Fitzwilliam.

"Yes, exactly," replied Darcy, as understanding dawned on him, "I'm heartbroken and I didn't even understand the feeling until you said it. But that's it. I don't even know if I can love anyone else this way again. I fear the damage is irreparable."

"Don't be so dramatic."

"I'm not being dramatic, I'm perfectly serious."

Colonel Fitzwilliam tried to console his cousin as best he could, but his comforting words did not appear to assuage Darcy's pain.

After a while, Darcy said, "Thank you, Fitzwilliam, for these kind words. I think what helps me the most is talking to you about it. I have concealed the depth of my regard for Miss Elizabeth for so long... I alluded to it to Miss Bingley at the very beginning and I've written about her in very positive terms to Georgiana, but I've never actually told anyone how I feel, except to her during my proposal. I'm usually very private about these things. Right now I feel a bit hopeless, but perhaps you can instil some hope in me. Do you think it at all possible – be honest I beg you – that she will one day return my regard and affections?"

Colonel Fitzwilliam hesitated slightly and this did not go unnoticed by Mr Darcy.

"Well... the possibility always exists, but I would advise you to be cautious. Don't press the situation. Let time do its work. Now that the misunderstandings have been cleared, she can reflect on her feelings for you. If you ever meet again, try to be on your best behaviour. I think she's a very kind person, although she herself would fervently deny it, and I don't put it past her to forgive you even if your... addresses were not ideal."

"How do you know my addresses were not ideal? I mean, you're perfectly right of course, they were downright awful, but how did you figure it out?"

"You went to her without a single doubt of your reception. She's very perceptive and very intelligent, and even if you didn't mention that you had no doubt of your reception, I would be surprised if she hadn't understood it from your general behaviour."

"Yes, I didn't outright say it, but I daresay she noticed. I was so caught up in the moment... I thought her blush meant she felt something for me, but now I know it was probably due to anger and embarrassment."

Mr Darcy sighed and then continued, "I really like your advice though. I might have an opportunity to see her again when I go to Longbourn to check Jane's feelings for Bingley. Right now though, I need to stop thinking about it and distract myself. I wish we were going to London riding and not in a carriage, I need to vent out my frustration through exercise. I will continue fencing and horse-riding and I'll take up walking too."

The colonel smiled, "Miss Elizabeth loves to walk."

Darcy smiled too, but it was a sad half-smile, "Yes, she really does."

Mr Bennett's consent

Mr Darcy followed Mr Bennet towards the library.

"Sir, would you do me the honour of a private interview?"

Mr Bennet, although highly surprised, acquiesced and invited Mr Darcy to sit with him in the library.

"Do what do I owe the honour of this private interview?"

Darcy took a deep breath to calm his nerves. "I respectfully ask your consent for your daughter Elizabeth Bennet's hand in marriage."

Mr Bennet's astonishment was obvious and Darcy felt a blush creep up his neck and cheeks. Mr Bennet fixed his eyes on Darcy unblinkingly for a few seconds before asking, "Have you asked Elizabeth?"

"Yes, Sir. She has accepted me."

Mr Bennet's astonishment became, if possible, even more pronounced. Darcy himself could scarcely believe his luck at Elizabeth accepting him. And, looking at Mr Bennet's expression, he could easily see that Mr Bennet had been aware of Elizabeth's previous dislike of him and that he had never expected his daughter to accept. This brought Darcy back to memories of his first proposal. He had been very surprised at Elizabeth's rejection but it seems that Elizabeth's family, at least her father, would not have been surprised in the least. Again, it showed him how vain and arrogant he had been in assuming his offer would be welcome. Mr Bennet surely knew that it was in all his daughters' interests to make advantageous marriages and yet he seemed very reluctant to allow Elizabeth to marry him.

After a long silence, which was dreadful for Darcy's nerves, Mr Bennet spoke again.

"Well, if Lizzie has given her consent, I will not object in the least. I'm sure she must have her reasons for accepting you. However, I would kindly ask you to send her to me, I would like to speak with her."

Darcy, feeling elated at having obtained her father's consent even if somewhat reluctantly, agreed immediately and after bowing deeply, left the room.

After the wedding

Mr Bingley was joking about how Darcy used to be in a foul mood on Sunday evenings. "But I daresay it seems everything has changed, this included, since Elizabeth finally took pity on him and agreed to marry him," he chuckled.

Elizabeth and her husband both blushed but remained silent.

Colonel Fitzwilliam smiled. "I once had to put up with a very irrational, quick-tempered, depressed and thoroughly heartbroken Darcy for the whole length of a carriage ride from Kent to London, with nothing else to distract me. His behaviour was most unlike him."

Mr Darcy cleared his throat. "Yes, well, it's quite ungenerous of you to mention in company the time when you saw me at my weakest, Fitzwilliam. Please say no more."

But his wife was thoroughly interested.

"Pray tell me, my dear cousin," cried Mrs Darcy, "What did he say? Am I correct in assuming you are alluding to the time when you left Rosings after making my acquaintance?"

"Aye, Madam, that very time. Darcy, I cannot deny the mistress of the house anything. I am but a guest after all. Well, since you insist on knowing, Mrs Darcy, let me tell you first of all that we wasted two days in London instead of remaining in your agreeable company at Rosings, because my dear cousin had scheduled two days for the purpose of riding to Longbourn to ask for your father's consent."

Darcy blushed deeply at that and stared obstinately at the ground while his wife tried to catch his eye. She seemed amused, "Don't worry, dearest, I already knew that you took my acceptance for granted during your first proposal."

Darcy was still not meeting her eyes, "To the point where you thought I'd already organised everything into my schedule."

"Er... well, yes, that is a bit extreme. At least you didn't order the wedding ring at that point, let us rejoice in that."

Her husband didn't reply, his eyes remained fixed on the ground.

"Oh my god, Fitzwilliam, you'd already ordered the ring? What next, the wedding dress, the bouquet, the flowers, the food for the reception? Had you already booked the reception hall?"

"No, no, no," said Mr Darcy finally meeting Mrs Darcy's eyes, "I did no such thing. Not even the wedding ring. I mean, I had looked at engagement rings but I hadn't gotten any, I would have wanted you to pick your favourite."

It took all of Elizabeth's willpower not to roll her eyes.

Colonel Fitzwilliam coughed and Mr Bingley could hardly conceal his laughter. Georgiana, who had witnessed everything with great interest in silence, was looking at her brother and sister-in-law with wide eyes.

The colonel continued, "Anyway, my cousin's spirits were so low that he would snap at me and apologise profusely the very next second before snapping again. He accused me of harbouring a fancy for you, and he said some quite dramatic things regarding his hopelessness that I shan't repeat because looking at him right now, I'm taking pity on him."

"Or you're scared," observed Bingley, because Darcy was glaring menacingly at his cousin.

"You've got me," chuckled Colonel Fitzwilliam, "You're very perceptive Bingley."

They all laughed, even Mr Darcy managed a chuckle and the subject dropped. The evening finished pleasantly.

Later though, when their guests had left, and only Georgiana, Elizabeth and Fitzwilliam Darcy remained in the living-room, Georgiana couldn't help but ask, "Is all that our cousin said true, brother?"

Mr Darcy nodded, a little awkwardly.

"That time you were so depressed, it wasn't just because you weren't seeing Elizabeth anymore, as I had thought. It was because she broke your heart?"

There was no accusation in the question, but Mr Darcy jumped to his wife's defence nonetheless.

"It was most deserved, Georgiana, you must trust me on that. I can't repeat what I said to her because I am far too ashamed and I couldn't bear to have you think ill of me. But please trust me when I say my heartbreak and disappointment was most deserved."

Elizabeth put her hand on Fitzwilliam's hand and spoke with a soothing voice, "Fitzwilliam, we agreed not to dispute the blame relating to that event. Neither of us are free from reproof but we must look towards the future and live in the present, not in the past."

"You are right," sighed Darcy, and he entwined his fingers through hers before squeezing them lightly.

Georgiana turned to her new sister, "I don't know what he said, but I am very glad that you forgave him Elizabeth."

Elizabeth blushed, "It's more like we forgave each other. Besides, the speech didn't start off too badly. If you had left out the first sentence about the struggling, and only kept the sentence about the admiration and love, and kept it at that, I would have been kinder in my refusal. You spoke very well on your feelings of the heart, but it would have been more appropriate not to dwell so much on those other feelings. Regardless, I'm glad we spoke frankly and I'm glad we sorted it all out in the end. But pray, let us talk of happier things."

Darcy smiled, "Your acquaintance and the story of our acquaintance still brought me much more pleasure than it did pain."

"I should hope so!" cried Elizabeth, "What a marriage this would be if it were otherwise."

Darcy nodded in agreement and continued, "And perhaps the most acute pain I felt was seeing you in tears after finding out what had happened to Lydia. I want you in my life but above all I want you happy."

His eyes were gentle and the emotions in them took her breath away.