A/N: Hey Y'all, I know, I know I'm neglecting my other stories
I've had soooo much to do but I'm gonna get back on track in two weeks after my exams, promise Please don't take this seriously, myself and my great mate, Kat, were just playin' around, for all those crap fan fic's out there, this one's for you!! Haha Love ya Kit
Catherine skulked in the trace lad, in a manner that was reminiscent of that of the Hunch back of Notre Dame. Hodges glanced up from the sample that he was inspecting and mumbled a quick "hi". Catherine replied with a deep manly grunt.
Hodges looked up fully this time and screamed like a girl scout who got her period for the first time.
"What's that on you're face!?" He exclaimed.
Catherine stroked her shoulder length beard and asked what he was talking about. But don't worry 'cause she had braided it before coming into work because it kept falling into her cleavage, that's always on display.
"What arrrrr you on about?" She asked in a voice that shocked herself.
Hodges eyes widened, not many knew this but he'd always harboured a secret fetish for sea-faring thiefs. Not a day passed where he didn't curl up on his sofa, clad with fluffy slippers and a onesie to watch Pirates of The Carribean. Ohhh that Geoffrey Rush.
"The – uh – smile. I haven't seen it in a while." Catherine smiled her nearly toothless grin. It had been a while since she'd smiled, mainly because she felt the only time that called for a smile was after getting laid. God knows it had been some time.
"Oh," She paused as she tried to remember what his first name was, she'd never thought it necessary to know the names of…. The help. "Hodgesss." She purred, the purring turned into a deep hacking cough. She turned her head to the side and hocked a loogie. Hodges loosened his collar, was it getting hot in here or was it just him? The only thing hotter than that was Lady Heather tying Conrad to a bed, her wearing nothing but a potato sack and him in wearing spray on latex, rawr!!
Just then, a pen decided to roll off the table and fall onto the floor. Catherine threw her plaited beard over her shoulder and leaned down to pick it up. Her cleavage on show, just like the chest hair she had started to grow, that was also plaited.
Hodges got a good look. Now he might have been desperate but he wasn't THAT des……..Ah who are we kidding? Of course he was that desperate.
"Em, Catherine, would you like to come back to mine with me?" He asked in a hoarse voice filled with testosterone. Now all he had to do was make sure his Mummy wasn't home.
"Sure Hodges, just let me………." And she broke out crying, great shuddering sobs wrecking her body.
"W-what's wrong?" Hodges asked, whilst sucking his thumb, he hated seeing women cry, it made him uncomfortable.
"I-I want some ice-cream!" The sobs turned into angry demands.
Hodges nodded dumbly.
"So, your place, huh?" Catherine purred already heading out the lab door.
Hodges grinned to himself, man he loved menopause.