Earthworm Jim is copyrighted to Doug Tennapel, one of my favorite authors.

1697…Another pink mark on the marble wall to mark another passing day.

Earthworm Kim put her lipstick down on a nearby table. She gazed around her room, looking at her extravagant furniture, her oak bookcases, and shining jewelry lying around. She heaved a heavy sigh; her home which was modeled after roman architecture and made of pure marble was everything a girl like herself could want. She had it all; jewelry, clothing, literature, music and unlimited gourmet food. All that didn't change the fact that she was alone. All the material goods this world could provide would never make up for the fact that she was alone and unwanted, trapped in the mind of a superhero.

Kim walked to a pair of oval shaped screens carved into the white wall. What was strange about these screens was that through them, Kim was able to see the life that her male alter ego lived. She watched him everyday, envying him and wishing that she was living his life, instead of being stuck inside his head.

Her male alter ego, known as Earthworm Jim, self proclaimed protector of the cosmos, was a worm with bulbous eyes ,one eye having a green iris and the other having no iris and a large under bite. He wore a large, muscular super suit which was predominantly white, with two blue belts criss-crossing across his front from his shoulders to his waist. Jim's suit also had blue gloves and a blue belt going across its waist which held Jim's signature red ray gun. Her own suit mirrored Jim's except that her's was predominately pink, with her belts and gloves being a dark purple. That and her suit was more feminine, still quite muscular like her male counterparts, but with womanly curves.

Jim didn't even know she existed.

Before the suit, the aspects that made up her and Jim where together, as was normal with regular earthworms, but the suit couldn't have that. When the suit had fallen from the sky and landed on them, it bombarded them with rays that mutated their body causing it to grow and form a face. It then through some mental power separated the female aspects from the male aspects in their brain. Each half formed their own personalities, herself and Jim. She had been quickly suppressed by the suit's mental powers. She had mulled over why that had happened that way, why she hadn't been chosen, and couldn't think of a good enough reason. She wondered what Jim had that she didn't. She was pretty sure that intelligence wasn't why Jim was picked. The man tried repeatedly eating a rock hard object, simply because it's name implied it was a food. Maybe it was his single minded determination.

Kim sighed for what was most likely the millionth time in her life, if you could call it that. She would be happy if she could just live like Jim for just a little while, with friends and battling baddies. She didn't want to permanently take over, she knew that he had a life, and she couldn't just take it away forever. But… just for a little while she wished. Kim knew it was a hopeless dream. There was no way that she could escape her mental prison. The best she had were the oval screens.

Kim sat down and listened in on Jim's life.

"Hey, little buddy! Want to listen to my accordion solo?"

Jim hopped excitedly from foot to foot on his blue carpet. The Terlawk country fair was happening tomorrow and the people of Terlawk had decided to invite the slimy superhero to play at the event. He was just itching to try out his song on someone.

Peter Puppy, a beige intelligent dog who stood on his hind legs, winced at the thought of listening to one of Jim's songs. It's not that Jim wasn't good; it was just that pretty much all of the music Jim liked listening to and playing hurt Peter's ears. Peter didn't want to hurt his larger friend's feelings, so he quickly thought up a plausible excuse.

"Sorry big fella, I've got to go uh... get my shirt dry cleaned." Peter said referring to the blue button down shirt he wore. Seeing Jim's disappointed face, he quickly added, "Why don't you ask Snott?" Jim's face instantly lit up. "Yeah! I'll call him right now!"

Kim snorted. Hadn't Jim figured out yet that Peter didn't like the accordion? Well, her male side was quite oblivious to a lot of things. Kim herself really liked the accordion. In fact, she liked almost everything Jim did, albeit with a few differences. She listened to Jim play a happy and cheerful song on the accordion as Snott, a green pile of, what else, snot with eyes and a mouth listened intently to the song.

Once the song was finished, Jim eagerly asked Snott," So? What do you think? Isn't my song just superiffic?"

Snott replied in his own language of gurgles, burps and raspberries which Jim seemed to understand.

"Really? You really think so?" Jim happily said in reply to Snott's positive comment.

"Yeah, in fact, you should invite your friends to listen to it! I'm sure that just listening to your song would be worth the trip!" Snott bubbled back.

"That is a groovy idea, Snott! I'll get right on it!" Jim reached into his super suit pocket and pulled out his super heroic phone notebook. "Let's see…the King of Rock and Roll would probably enjoy my song…" Jim reached into another pocket and pulled out a phone.

After a hundred phone calls, Jim decided to go out to the store to get a couple of ingredients for dinner. It was his turn today to cook and he was planning on a good old fashioned barbeque meal.

A few people turned their heads when they heard a loud and dramatic gasp come from the canned food section. "What is this bee sting on the smooth skin of good?" Snott, who had tagged along with Jim, picked up one of the offending cans. "Fatty Roswell's canned fast food?" He read aloud.

"The unspeakable horror of it all!" Jim feigned fainting. "Fast food is meant to be eaten hot and still popping from the fast food store! Not eaten from a cold and unfeeling can!" Jim put his face up to the can and looked its alien chef mascot in the printed eye," You are all that stands for culinary evil! I will write to my local fast food salesman about this!" Jim glared at the can for a couple more minutes 'til Snott pulled on his leg," Jim. People are staring again." Jim looked up" Huh? Oh, heh heh, don't mind me. I'm just really into my food." Jim waved at the group staring people. As he waved, he absently dropped the can he was holding on his foot. He bit his lip feeling the artificial pain from the super suit. "Agh!" He hopped on one foot clutching the other, " You win this time Fatty, but next time I'll be the one laughing, for you will be banned from this fine store's shelves." The group of people who honestly had nothing better to do continued to stare at Jim.

"Always the socially awkward one" Kim commented from her spot in Jim's head.

Jim hurried through the store and picked up the canned beans, cheese and pickles he had come for without anymore encounters with villainous food.

Back at home, Jim began whipping up a dinner of chopped brisket sandwiches. "Don't forget! Peter doesn't like a lot of barbeque sauce!" Kim called out. Jim stopped pouring barbeque sauce on Peter's sandwich. "That's right, glad I remembered." Kim heard Jim's thoughts echo in the room. Jim always attributed her to be his memory or commonsense. He then turned to his and Snott's sandwiches and drowned them in barbeque sauce.

"Hahahahahahah! Ohhh, Snott, you tell some of the best jokes." Jim said around a bite of sandwich. Another happy dinner scene; moments like these made Kim both glad and melancholy. Peter eagerly dipped another chip into a dip on the table. "Jim, this is really good." He said munching blissfully, "What is it?"

"I don't know, I saw it a while ago at the store and picked it up because it had such a happy sheep on the bottle." Jim picked up the bottle the dip came in," Uncle Ewe's Haggis Dip" he spoke out loud. Peter swallowed heavily with a disgusted look on his face. Kim put her hand to her face; this always happened.

Jim smiled, "What do you know! It's made out of-"

Peter interrupted in a sickened voice," I know, the heart, lungs and liver of a sheep boiled in its own stomach." His face turned a light shade of green," Ooof...I think I'm done for the day."

"Oh, that's too bad, fuzz buddy, we were just about to have pie." Jim said in a disappointed tone.

Peter instantly lost the sick look on his face." Pie? Why didn't you say so? I love pie!"

"Everyone loves pie, silly!" Jim laughed as he cut a slice for Peter.

And so, the evening passed peacefully and happily for the threesome.

Jim laid down in bed and starred at the ceiling. He was so excited. Tomorrow was going to be a great day. Maybe he would even get to fight some baddies tomorrow. It depended on if they had healed from their last beating enough to try again. He hoped that no bad guys showed up during his solo though. That would really beat eggs.

In his head, Kim laid down in her own bed. She didn't physically need sleep, but it gave her mental rest. She was somewhat happy. She felt Jim's feelings and was enjoying the happiness he radiated. She was stuck and alone, but at least she was stuck in the head of a cheerful and funny guy like Jim. "Goodnight, Jim!" She called out.

"MMmmm…Goodnight, Me..." Jim mumbled already half asleep drifting into dreams of cowboys and superheroes.

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When I played Earthworm Jim 3d, I nearly popped blood vessels from how frustrated and mad I was. Man, that game was difficult. So, when I finally completed the game 100% and got to play as Kim, imagine the utter disappointment I felt when I saw that the story was no different with Kim. The only thing that was different was that it was even more difficult. So, I chose instead of accidentally hospitalizing myself from internal bleeding to write a story for Kim. This story will have some differences from the game, but I will stay pretty much with the order. Okay, I know Jim eats dirt, but in the show it also says he eats meat and other things, so I'm going to go ahead and assume that he's an omnivore. Plus, he has teeth, what could they be for other than food? Also, Earthworm Jim 3d is based off the show and the game, so things are mixed. Honestly, I think that the game and show fit well together. Besides Peter Puppy's origins and Queen Slug-for-a-butt's death.