Title: You've got mail
Author: Romy
E-mail: sunshine8552@yahoo.com
Class.: S, R H&M
Disclaimer: Yes, I own them and that's why JAG airs here in Europe so late.
Songs used in this fanfic:
"Couldn't Last A Moment" by Collin Raye
"Turn Back Time" by Aqua
"Let Me In" by Chely Wright
"Letting Go" by Melissa Ethridge
"Looking Through Your Eyes" by LeAnn Rimes
"Because You Loved Me" by Celine Dion
"One More Chance" by Julio Iglesias,Jr.
"If You Asked Me To" by Celine Dion
"You Shouldn't Kiss Me Like This" by Toby Keith
"I Love You" by Sarah McLachlan
"How Did I Fall In Love With You" by Backstreet Boys
"Sometimes When We Touch" by Rod Stewart
"By Your Side" by Sade
"Empty" by Teri Clark
"Everybody Gets A Second Chance" by Mike & The Mechanics
"Lady In Red" by Chris DeBurgh
THANK YOU TO:
Stacey for all her help with songs, writing some parts with me and
for beta reading all my stupid mistakes :-)))
Kris for all her wonderful ideas, songs and also for writing with
me :-)))
Julie for songs/especially the first one/ and also for beta
reading :-)))
And to all of you for 'sticking out to the very end' /like Lisa/ and
your feedbacks....he he
Romy
^ ^ ^
1/14
1209 ZULU
JAG HEADQUARTERS
FALLS CHURCH, VIRGINIA
Lt.Colonel Sarah MacKenzie slowly walked through the dark bullpen. Reaching her office she
switched the lights and computer on. Then she took her cover off and sat in the chair.
"You got a secret admirer that I don't know about?" asked her partner Commander Harmon Rabb
leaning against doorframe.
"Huh?"
"That rose on your desk. Anybody I know?"
" Oh, I don't know. I hadn't noticed it."
"Then I'll leave you alone to read the card. Don't wanna be prosecuted for disturbing your
privacy, you know."
"Yeah, thanks."
From his office he watched as she picked up the rose, taking the card from it.
"You've got mail" was all that was written on it.
"Oh, great. Like I didn't know it. Let's see what's there."
To: Sarah MacKenzie
From: Washington
Received: 07:01 EST Thursday,02/01/01
Subject: W
****************************************
"What was I thinking, I could still walk down the street
Without you by my side
Or make it through the night
Alone I lie.
I said a lot of things
I didn't really mean
How can I make you see what matters most to me...
Couldn't last a moment without you."
Collin Raye "Couldn't Last A Moment"
****************************************
"Cool, I've really got a secret admirer."
^ ^ ^
2/14
1243 ZULU
JAG HEADQUARTERS
FALLS CHURCH, VIRGINIA
"Damn it!" was the first thing that Mac heard when she exited elevator.
"Hey partner, what was that for?"
"You didn't see the news, did you?"
"No, I overslept. And the traffic was really bad. What's wrong?"
"Well, nothing is wrong if you don't count the fact that they're predicting more
snowstorms
tonight, so there will be MORE snow than there is now."
Before she could respond, Harm continued, "And airports get snowed in
because of it
and....and what's so funny, ninjagirl?"
"Oh, nothing, just...You!" with that she began laughing again. "If you could hear your
'MORE snow' speech. "
"Really funny. "he responded now standing in front of her office.
" By the way, are you going to
tell me about that secret admirer?"
"In your dreams, Commander"
"Oh, you don't wanna be in my dreams, Colonel."
To: Sarah MacKenzie
From: Washington
Received: 07:25 EST Friday,02/02/2001
Subject: I
****************************************
"If only I could turn back time
If only I had said
What I still hide
If only I could turn back time
I would stay..."
Aqua "Turn Back Time"
****************************************
^ ^ ^
3/14
1305 ZULU
MAC'S APARTMENT
GEORGETOWN, DC
"God! Who on the earth won't let me sleep!"
"Your incredibly handsome partner. Now open the door!"
"Harm, it's 08:05 and 52 seconds and you're here dressed like you're going to the North Pole.
Thanks for stopping by and letting me know where you'll be this weekend, but now please go
and let me SLEEP!"
"No, no, no, no. I may be here dressed like a snowman, but I'm not going anywhere without you."
Leaning closer, he whispered into her ear, "It's payback time."
"What are you talking about?"
"Oh, I think you know what. Yesterday a certain Marine Lt.Colonel was laughing at me. Remember?
So I'm giving you ten minutes to change."
"I'm not going anywhere."
"And if we stop for Beltway Burgers?"
"I think five minutes will be enough!"
^ ^ ^
When they returned hours later, there was a rose in front of her door.
Picking it up, Harm gave it to her:"Mac, you know it's not fair that you have this secret
admirer and you won't tell your best friend about him."
"I already told Singer about him."
"Ha ha. Very funny, ninjagirl"
"Yeah, I thought so. I'm going to check my mail and then I'll tell you about him, okay?"
To: Sarah MacKenzie
From: Washington
Received: 09:11 EST Saturday,02/03/2001
Subject: L
****************************************
"Let me love you really love you
Open your heart and let me in
I don't know who taught you not to trust
I'll be constant as the sun that shines above
Close your eyes and take the fall
If it's really love there's no risk at all
I see your strength and how you shine
You're a diamond in the rough that should be mine
But you're still fighting an old old war
That's left you wounded and left you scarred
You hide your weakness
Behind those walls
You think it's your own secret
But in your eyes I see it all
Let me love you really love you
Open your heart and let me in
I don't know who taught you not to trust
I'll be constant as the sun that shines above
Close your eyes and take the fall
If it's really love there's no risk at all
Lay down your past and then you can begin
To let me love you really love you
I can love you if you'll only let me in, I can love
You if you'll only let me in"
Chely Wright "Let Me In"
****************************************
"Hey, as I recall, the one who lost that snowball fight has to make a hot chocolate."
Mac emerged from bedroom.
"I thought that the bet was lunch."
"You keep dreaming, flyboy. The bet was about hot chocolate. Lunch doesn't count.
Come on, I'll help you."
"No, you'll wait here. Just start thinking what you'll tell me about Mr. Secret."
A few minutes later he found her sleeping. While drinking his hot chocolate he watched
her. Even when she was sleeping she was smiling. It was the most beautiful smile he had
ever seen. Hearing the stereo playing in the background, he began singing to her.
"I came here to let you know
The letting go
Has taken place
I have held the winter's Sunday
Become one
Set my pace
Isn't that what we wanted all along
Freedom like a stone
Maybe we were wrong
But I can say goodbye
Now that the passion's died
Still it comes so slow
The letting go
Piece by piece I take apart
This complicated heart
And I hope to find
Something I can prove is real
I can feel is truth
I can say is mine
That's all I ever wanted to be
The closer that I got
The further I could see
But when lovers change
And the night feels strange
We choose our road
The letting go
I came here to let you know
The letting go
Has taken place"
"Nice song, Harm." she smiled at him.
"Oh, I didn't mean to wake you up."
"You didn't." she yawned "I was just taking" she yawned again "a quick nap."
"I can see that. I'll better get going and let you sleep."
"Yeah. And thanks for today, Harm. I really had a good time."
"You're welcome. Sleep well, Sarah." he placed a soft kiss on her cheek.
"Harm - "
"Yes?"
"Drive careful."
"As always."
^ ^ ^
4/14
1157 ZULU
MAC'S APARTMENT
GEORGETOWN, DC
Sarah MacKenzie woke that morning really relaxed. And although it was still early, she
couldn't sleep anymore. So she took Jingo and went for a walk. When she returned
she had to smile. Not needing to read the card, she waited to log on.
To: Sarah MacKenzie
From: Washington
Received: 06:47 EST Sunday, 02/04/01
Subject: L
****************************************
"Look at the sky
Tell me what do you see
Just close your eyes
And describe it to me
The heavens are sparkling
With starlight tonight
That's what I see
Through your eyes
I see the heavens
Each time you smile
I hear your heartbeat
Just go on for miles
And suddenly I know
My life is worthwhile
That's what I see
Through your eyes
Here in the night
I see the sun
Here in the dark
Our two hearts are one
It's out of our hands
We can't stop what we have begun
And love just took me by surprise
Looking through your eyes."
Leann Rimes "Looking Through Your Eyes"
****************************************
She saved the mail to her 'Secret Admirer' folder and began humming that song.
1241 ZULU
HARM'S APARTMENT
WASHINGTON, DC
"Comin'." a sleepy Harm yelled from bedroom.
"It's about time you answered the door."
"Mac, what are you doing here so early?"
"Good morning to you too, squid. I brought you breakfast. But I can come later
if you don't want it."
"Sorry. Didn't mean to sound like that. So what's for breakfast?"
^ ^ ^
"So he keeps sending you love letters?" asked Harm now in a pair of blue jeans and
a T-shirt sitting next to Mac, sipping his coffee.
"No. He keeps sending me lyrics of songs. Every day one song. And that song begins with a
capital letter that is also used as a subject."
"Oh, and what letters do you have already?"
"On Thursday it was W, next I, yesterday it was L and today another L."
"Fascinating. So his name is Will or he wants to ask you something.
Maybe 'Will you drop those charges against me' or 'Will you show me that tattoo of yours'?"
"Is that a request?"
"Mac..."
"What Harm? It's a simple question, can't you give me an answer this
Time?"
Harm fidgeted, unsure of what to say. He knew what he felt, but was
scared
to admit it out loud.
When he didn't answer Mac closed her eyes and tried to hold back the
tears
that were beginning to show themselves.
As she turned to walk away Harm reached out for her.
"And if I say yes?" he started leaning closer. Their lips were just inches apart when
the telephone rang. Harm was just about to kiss her, when Mac asked
again :" Shouldn't you answer that?"
"No."
""Harm, what if it's an emergency. Like it was with Webb." with that she stood up
and handed him the phone.
"Rabb. Hi, mom. Just hold on minute." sseeing Mac putting her coat on he asked
her:" Where are you going?"
"Home. You need to speak to your mom."
"Wait, I'll call her later."
"No, you'll talk to her now. It's not like you call her every day. We can talk tomorrow.
Bye." with that she left.
"Harm, you there?"
"Yes, mom.... No, you didn't interrupt anything......I'm fine...Yes, Mac's fine too....."
^ ^ ^
5/14
1159 ZULU
JAG HEADQUARTERS
FALLS CHURCH, VA
"Colonel, what are you doing here so early?"
"I couldn't sleep, Gunny. And what about you?"
"Same ma'am. Have a nice day!"
"You too."
And again there was a red rose on her desk.
To: Sarah MacKenzie
From: Washington
Received: 06:42 EST Monday, 02/05/01
Subject: Y
****************************************
"You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me"
Celine Dion "Because You Loved Me"
****************************************
1637 ZULU
JAG HEADQUARTERS
FALLS CHURCH, VIRGINIA
"Ma'am! Did you hear that?" a little too excited Harriet asked Lt.Colonel Mackenzie when she
exited courtroom.
"Heard what, Harriet?"
"About the White House Valentine's ball. There's this gossip going around that there are four
double tickets
for Jag as well. Bud... I mean that gossip says that those tickets came this morning and we've
already
started to take bets who would be the lucky ones. Wanna join?"
"OK. I bet that Lt. Singer won't be the lucky one."
2134 ZULU
JAG HEADQUARTERS
FALLS CHURCH, VIRGINIA
"Ma'am, admiral wants to see you, Commander Rabb and Lieutenant Roberts
in his office."
"Thank you Tiner. We'll be right in."
^ ^ ^
"So, Harriet, who won?"asked Mac when they exited admiral's office.
"Actually, everyone, because everyone thought it would be admiral, commander Rabb or you, ma'am."
"And no one bet on Bud?"
"No one ma'am. But isn't it cool that we're going to White House Valentine's ball?"
^ ^ ^
6/14
1215 ZULU
JAG HEADQUARTERS
FALLS CHURCH, VIRGINIA
"$800 dollars! You've got to be out of your mind; I
don't have that kind of money" Gunny exploded slamming
down the phone.
"Hey Gunny, anything I can help you with?"
"Gunny sprang up snapping to attention. "Sir, sorry,
Sir I wasn't aware there was anyone else in the office
this early."
"At ease, Gunny I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd
finish up some cases" *before I go crazy trying to
think of a way to ask Mac to the ball*" So what seems
to be your problem?"
"I'm trying to find tickets to the Valentines Ball I
promised my sister that I'd take her for her birthday.
Her 21st birthday, the only problem is they want
$800 for a set."
"$800 isn't that kind of expensive?" Looking at
Gunny's expression Harm realized that wasn't the legal
price "Oh, I understand now, that's quite a problem
you've got there."
"Valerie really has her heart set on going to the
ball for her birthday, a major event for a major
event in her life" *I'm pretty much screwed in the
brother department for the rest of my life if I don't
pull this off*
*Wow, he's pretty much screwed in the brother
department for the rest of his life if he doesn't pull
this off* Harm thought, just then the elevator door
opened and the reason for his sleepless night exited.
*God she's breathtaking*
Seeing Harm and Gunny in the bullpen she stopped. *I
do love men in uniform and those are the best
looking ones I've ever seen* "Morning guys, coffee
meeting?" She teased *Guess I'm not the only one
having trouble sleeping*
"Ah Mac, I was wondering if you had a date for the
ball yet?"
"No, why?" her heart skipped a beat.
"I was going to give my ticket to Gunny so that he
could take his sister for her birthday and I was
wondering if you'd take pity on a poor sailor and let
him go with you?"
*YES* "Harm that's so sweet. Would you go the ball
with me Commander?"
*YES* "Well since you asked so nicely, I'd love to
Colonel."
"Well Gunny looks like you get to make your sister's
dream birthday come true" they stated at the same
time.
"I don't know how to thank you both, I'll never forget
this and I'll find a way to repay your kindness
somehow"
"Not necessary Gunny" they spoke together.
Mac and Harm walked off to their offices all the while
both thinking how glad they were they were to be going
to the ball together. Mac's mind was already shopping
for a new gown, one that was going to knock the gold
wings right off Harm *and hopefully finally the dress
whites with them*. She slowly came out of her daze
when she heard his next comment.
"Hey Mac, should I wear dress whites?"
They were so wrapped in each other that neither of them
noticed Gunny with thumbs up and Harriet with that evil
grin of hers...
^ ^ ^
To: Sarah MacKenzie
From: Washington
Received: 07:03 EST Tuesday, 02/06/01
Subject: O
****************************************
"One day love came knocking on my door
But I was far away
I pretended that the sound I heard
Was just another game
Then I looked around and noticed pieces that were gone
You were right before me
and I couldn't see the bond
Day by day I think I'll grow to change
'Cause I can't stay the same
I wonder why it took so long for me to see the love
Was always in the way
You were right before me and I didn't see you there
I thought all my feelings were just begging not to care
Oh, will you give me just
One more chance
I want to try to understand
Just give me nothing but
One more chance
I want to make it all right..."
Julio Iglesias, Jr. "One More Chance"
****************************************
'God, this mails are driving me crazy. I wonder who...'
Mac stopped thinking as the object of her dreams and
fantasies was making his way to the kitchen...
^^^
7/14
To: Sarah MacKenzie
From: Washington
Received: 07:15 EST Wednesday, 02/07/01
Subject: U
****************************************
"Used to be that I believed in something
Used to be that I believed in love
It's been a long time since I've had that feeling
I could love someone
I could trust someone
I said I'd never let nobody near my heart again darlin'
I said I'd never let nobody in
But if you asked me to
I just might change my mind
And let you in my life forever
If you asked me to
I just might give my heart
And stay here in your arms forever
If you asked me to
If you asked me to"
Celine Dion "If You Asked Me To"
****************************************
"Good morning, Colonel."
"Morning, Harriet. What are you doing here so early?"
"Bud has to do some research before he goes to court.
Oh, what beautiful roses.
Who sent them? If you don't mind me asking..."
"It's all right. Actually, I don't know who keeps
sending them to me. Harm likes to call him "'Mr.
Secret Admirer'"
"Oh, really..."*I bet it's him*
^ ^ ^
"Harriet, would you please stop that?" asked Mac
returning books to the bookshelf.
"Stop what, ma'am?"
"Those looks you've been giving me the last couple of
days. Do I have
something on my face or what?"
"No, ma'am. It's just that I'm so happy for you and
the
Commander."
"You're what?"
"Um...I mean that I'm happy that Commander Rabb gave
his ticket to Gunny
so he can take his sister to the ball. *Whew, that was
close*
It will be a nice evening, don't you think? And who
knows what will happen..."
"Yeah, Harriet who knows." *How I'm going to survive
all week till then?*
Just then Harm stepped out of elevator.
"Hello, ladies. What are you talking about?"
"You." they both answered.
"What did I do or not do to deserve it?"
"Just that it was so nice of you to give your ticket
to Gunny."
*I bet they can't wait* thought Harriet.
"Yeah. A certain Marine begged me to go with her so I
didn't need the ticket" Harm winked at
Harriet. *How am I going to survive all week 'till
then?*
"You better watch it flyboy or I'll change my mind and
ask Webb" Mac teased back.
*How am I going to survive all week 'till then?*
"I'll be on my best behaviour then Ma'am" Harm
replied.
^ ^ ^
8/14
To: Sarah MacKenzie
From: Washington
Received: 06:45 EST Thursday,02/08/01
Subject: M
****************************************
"My heart skipped a beat in time
Something shot right through me
Moment that your lips touched mine
I've got a funny feeling
There's a different feel about you tonight
It's got me thinking lots of crazy things
I think I even saw a flash of light
It felt like electricity
Everybody swears we'd make a perfect pair
But dancing is as far as it goes
Girl you've never moved me quite the way you moved me tonight
I just wanted you to know
I just wanted you to know
You shouldn't kiss me like this unless you mean it like that
Cause I'll just close my eyes and I won't know where I'm at
We'll get lost on this dance floor spinning around
And around and around and around
They're all watching us now they think we're falling in love
They'd never believe we're just friends
When you kiss me like this I think you mean it like that
If you do baby kiss me again"
Toby Keith "You Shouldn't Kiss Me Like This"
****************************************
"Geez, Mac, thanks to that secret admirer your office
looks like a Flower shop."
"Ha ha. I think it's very sweet of him to send me
roses. You know, you could learn a lot from him."
"Learn what? That the best way to ask someone out is
to buy her a flower shop? Thank goodness your not
allergic to flowers."
"No. That if you still wanna go to that ball with me
you should start being nicer. I believe Webb will be
in town that week."
*You can't do that! *"Okay, so Ninjagirl how about
lunch? My treat, as long as there are
no flowers around, I feel my allergies acting up.
"I would love to."
^ ^ ^
9/14
To: Sarah MacKenzie
From: Washington
Received: 06:45 EST Friday,02/09/01
Subject: A
****************************************
"And everytime I'm close to you
There's too much I can't say
And you just walk away
And I forgot to tell you
I love you
And night's too long
Without you
I grieve in my condition
For I cannot find the words to say
I need you so..."
Sarah McLachlan "I Love You"
****************************************
" Mac, have you ever tried to reply him?"asked Harm.
"No. If he wanted me to know him, he would send me his
name. But it's obvious that he don't want me to know him."
"What if it's someone you know and he's just afraid."
"Speaking from your own experience?"
She looked him into the eyes. Seeing that he wasn't going
to response Mac took her files " Come on, we have 2 minutes
and 11 seconds."
"How do you do that?"
"Like I've said you before - I've got great timing."
^ ^ ^
"Come in "said Mac not stopping reading the file on her desk.
""Ma'am, I was wondering if you would like to go with me
shopping tomorrow. Bud will take AJ to the park and we can meet
them for a lunch." *And maybe someone else too.*
"Sure, Harriet. I was going to ask you the same thing."
^ ^ ^
"Come in." said Harm not stopping reading the file on his desk.
"Sir, I was wondering if you would like to go with me to the park with
AJ tomorrow. Harriet is going shopping and AJ miss you. We can meet Harriet
for the lunch. That's if you'll come."
"Sure, Bud."
^ ^ ^
"So?"
"He agreed to come, Harriet. But what do you have in your mind ?"
"Oh, you'll see. Just bring him to that lunch."
^ ^ ^
10/14
To: Sarah MacKenzie
From: Washington
Received: 07:04 EST Saturday,02/10/2001
Subject: R
****************************************
"Remember when
We never needed each other
The best friends like
Sister and brother
We understood
We never be
Alone
Those days are gone
Now I want you so much
The night is long
And I need your touch
Don't know what to say
Never meant to feel this way
Don't wanna be
Alone tonight
What can I do
To make you mine
Falling so hard, so fast this time
What did I say
What did you do
How did I fall in love with you ?"
Backstreet Boys "How Did I Fall In Love With You"
***
'Who could be sending me these emails' wondered Mac as she read the last one.
'Best friends like sister and brother' she remembered that sister / brother comment
very well. In fact, she remembered the occasion. NATO ball. Although they
were working that evening, it didn't stopped Mac staring at Harm. 'Well, I'm staring
at Harm all the time' she smiled to herself. When he said 'I don't think if you as
my sister' it was all Mac could do to not kiss him.
'Could Harm be the one sending the emails? His way of telling her that he's finally
letting go? No way, Harm's lucky if he can turn the computer on. but what if it's him?'
'God, if only Harriet and Bud had invited him too.'
^ ^ ^
'Who the hell could Mac's secret admirer be?' thought Harm as he was dressing
for his day with little AJ and Bud in the park. The thought of somebody he didn't
know getting too personal with her really bothered him. The thought of somebody
he knew bothered him. 'I hope it isn't BiteMe again'. The thought of losing her
bothered him. 'I have to do something about it. I can't go through another year like
last one.' If he had only spoken that night on the ferry, hell, if he had only stopped her
last Sunday when his mother called.
Harm continued to stare out of the window. Maybe he should call BugMe or whatever his
name is and ask him about this mails, if he's the one emailing her, asking her to marry
him again. He just had this feeling that this was where these emails were heading.
'God, if only Harriet and But had invited her, too.'
^ ^ ^
Mac arrived at the coffee shop right on time and
spotted Harriet at one
of
the tables. She waved as Mac got in line to place her
order.
"So how are you this morning Harriet?" Mac asked as
she sat down.
"I'm well, thanks for coming out with me today."
Mac smiled and took a sip of her coffee, "You're
welcome Harriet, we
haven't done this in a long time."
The two women spent the next two hours shopping
through the small shops
of Georgetown laughing and joking amoungst themselves.
"It looks like that's the last store over there, I'll
have to drive into DC if we can't find anything in
there." exclaimed Mac. "Maybe we should have asked
Webb to come along, he has perfect taste in gowns."
they laughed until tears came to their eyes at the
thought of the spy being dragged from store to store
behind them.
"I liked the dress at the last store, Ma'am" said
Harriet.
"Harriet how many times do I have to tell you not to
call me Ma'am away from the office"
"Sorry Sarah, its just slips out, it doesn't mean that
I still don't think of you as my friend or AJ's
godmother"
"I can't wait to see the little guy, how's he been?"
"Oh, growing like a weed, everyday brings so many
changes, he'll be three soon."
*Yeah, only 2 more years until the baby promise* "Oh
sorry daydreaming, what kind of dress am I looking?
for? Mac had been so distracted by her thoughts of
her and Harm having a baby together that she hadn't
heard Harriet's question. "I really don't know just
that I'll know it when I see it, although I'm not sure
why I'm going to all this
trouble, its not like I have some important date
Harriet, its just
Harm."
"Oh and he doesn't deserve that dusty rose dress that
I must say was
made
just for you."
"I didn't say that Harriet... I don't know..."
"Yes you do. We need to find you a dress that is
going to make the Commander drop to his knees and beg
you to be his valentine."
"Harriet, you know our relationship isn't like that"
*but the vision of Harm on his knees begging did have
some appeal, lots of it as a matter of fact* "We're
only going together because Harm gave his ticket to
Gunny."
"You can't sit there and tell me that you don't have
feelings for Harm, Sarah. I've seen the way you look
at him when you think no one's looking, the way you
look at little AJ and then look at Harm. When are you
going to quit kidding yourself that he's not the man
for you. *I swear if its the last thing I do I'm going
to be the maid of honor at you two's wedding*
"Ok, I admit I do have feelings for him, but their not
returned, he proved that in Australia. I'll just
have to be content with his friendship right now. Who
knows maybe my secret admirer will show up at the ball
and sweep me off my feet. Now lets get back to the
great dress hunt."
Mac never saw the sly grin that spread across
Harriet's face. *Be careful what you wish for*
^ ^ ^
"Sir, may I say, you are very good with him." Bud
pointed out as they played in the park.
Harm shrugged it off and continued making a snowman.
"How can someone so
little have so much energy Bud?"
"I've often wondered that myself, some days Harriet
and I are barely able to keep up with him. I don't
know what it will be like when he turns three soon."
*Yeah, only 2 more years until the baby promise*
"Sorry Bud, guess I was daydreaming. What did you
say?"
"Did you ever think of being a father?"
"What's this Bud, twenty questions?"
"No, I was just thinking...of Harriet and I...and
maybe another baby. I
mean
I never thought of myself in this position five years
ago. Time changes
so quickly, one moment you are here and the
next...well who knows."
"Yes I've thought about it Bud, I just..."
"I understand sir."
They were silent for a bit before Bud spoke up again.
"It was nice of you sir to give your ticket to gunny,
although for the
life
of me I cant figure out why his sister would want to
go to this."
"I don't know Bud, that would be something to ask
Gunny. I am just glad
Mac was willing to take me."
"She'd take you anywhere Sir."
"What?"
"How much longer are your going to deny your feelings
for Sarah? I've seen the way you look at her when you
think no one's looking, the way you look at little AJ
and then look at her. When are you going to quit
kidding your self that she's not the woman for you.
*I swear if it's the last thing I do I'm going to be
the best man at you two's wedding"
"Ok, I admit I do have feelings for her, but after the
fiasco in Australia she'll never let me close to her
again. I was such a fool and now she has this secret
admirer that will probably show up at the ball and
sweep her off her feet."
Harm never saw the sly grin that spread across Bud's
face. *Be careful what you wish for*
"Here comes Harriet, just in time.
Looks like she has someone with her though."
Harm could feel the hair on the back of his neck stand
up, that usually only happened when Mac was around.
Turning around he looked in the direction Bud was
pointing, walking
towards them were Harriet and Mac.
"Hi, honey. How did the dress hunt go?"
"Great Bud, Sarah and I both found really great
dresses for the
ball. I'll give you a preview of mine when we get
home."
"What about a preview of your dress Mac" teased Harm.
Before she could reply a blond whirlwind threw
himself at her legs shouting "Aunt Mac, Aunt Mac".
Reaching down to pick up him up she didn't notice the
look of longing that crossed Harm's face at seeing
the two of them together but Bud and Harriet did.
^ ^ ^
Harriet and Bud watched the reactions from their best friends. Unsure
of what was going to happen, and the sudden feeling that Harm and Mac
needed to be alone Harriet turned to Bud as she picked up Baby AJ.
"Come on, let's bring him over to the swings."
"But..."
"Come on Bud." She said smiling at him, hoping he would get the
picture.
"Oh...okay." He replied as Harriet reached for his arm to pull him with
her.
^ ^ ^
"Mac....hi...ah what are you doing here?" He asked her as a slow smile
appeared.
"Harriet and I went shopping this morning, as you heard." She paused
and looked at her shoes, "What are you doing here?"
"Bud asked me yesterday to come here with Baby AJ."
They both figgited, rooted in the same spot they were in when they
noticed each other.
"Mac, I want to say thank you for letting me come with you to the ball,
I am sure that you had other plans...with someone..." He let his
sentence trail off, hoping he wouldn't have to finish it. It hurt.
"You're welcome Harm." She gave him a smile that covered her entire face.
"You know I wasn't going to bring anyone..." She whispered.
'Good' Harm thought to himself as he took a step closer to Mac.
"So about this dress Mac, do I get that free preview?" He asked.
"Ha, in your dreams Flyboy!" Mac laughed.
'You already are' he said to himself.
"You know I am glad you are here," He paused and looked over at his
friend.
Suddenly Mac was withdrawn and she wasn't looking at him, she was
watching Harriet and Bud with Baby AJ. She had a distant look in her eyes,
Harm became concerned with her sudden actions.
"Mac? Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, I guess." She looked at him for a moment, then back to Baby AJ,
"Have you ever felt like life could of went in another direction? And
if it had, would the people you know still be there?"
"That's a heavy topic for the park Mac, what's up?"
"Forget about it. Let's go eat!"
"Some things never change."
^ ^ ^
11/14
To: Sarah MacKenzie
From: Washington
Received: 06:37 EST Sunday, 02/11/01
Subject: R
****************************************
"Romance and all its strategy leaves me battling with my pride.
But through the insecurity, some tenderness survives.
I'm just another writer still trapped within my truth;
A hesitant prizefighter still trapped within my youth.
And sometimes when we touch, the honesty's too much,
And I have to close my eyes and hide.
I wanna hold you till I die, till we both break down and cry.
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides.
At times I'd like to break you and drive you to your knees.
At times I'd like to break through and hold you endlessly.
At times I understand you, and I know how hard you've tried.
I've watched while love commands you,
And I've watched love pass you by.
At times I think we're drifters, still searching for a friend,
A brother or a sister. But then the passion flares again.
And sometimes when we touch, the honesty's too much,
And I have to close my eyes and hide.
I wanna hold you till I die, till we both break down and cry.
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides. "
Rod Stewart "Sometimes When We Touch"
***************************************
'Here it is. Another brother / sister comment. But what the hell
he meant by that ' but then the passion flares again' comment.?
I'm gonna ask Harm about this. If he's the one sending me this mails,
just joking with me, I swear I'll get him for it. But what if he
really mean it ?' Mac said to herself.
Her eyes fell on the beautiful red dress that was laying on the sofa.
'Only 82 hours 19 minutes and 25 seconds 'till the ball!'
^ ^ ^
12/14
To: Sarah MacKenzie
From: Washington
Received: 06:42 EST Monday, 02/12/01
Subject: Y
****************************************
"You think I'd leave your side baby
You know me better than that
You think I'd leave you down when you're down on your knees
I wouldn't do that
I'll tell you you're right when you want
And if only you could see into me
Oh when you're cold, I'll be there, hold u tight to me
When you're on the outside baby and you can't get in
I will show you you're so much better than you know
When you're lost and you're alone and you cant get back again
I will find you darling and I will bring you home
And if you want to cry, I am here to dry your eyes
And in no time, you'll be fine
Oh when you're cold, I'll be there, hold u tight to me
When you're low I'll be there, by your side baby"
Sade "By Your Side"
****************************************
Harm sat in his office looking at Mac. She had this smile
on her face - smile that she has for 12 days. For 12 days
she had been receiving mails and roses from that secret
admirer. For 12 days he had been wondering who Mr. Secret is.
'At least she's not going to that ball with him.'
^ ^ ^
Mac continued to read the email for the third time. For
12 days she had been receiving these emails. For 12 days
she had been wondering who her secret admirer is. For 12 days
she had been hoping that it is Harm.
'At least I'm going to the ball with him.'
^^^
From her desk Harriet watched the two officers. How they were
looking at each other when they thought the other one isn't looking.
She was sure that for 12 days Harm had been wondering about this
secret admirer. And that for 12 days Mac hoped it is Harm.
She smiled to herself. 'The plan is working.'
^ ^ ^
13/14
"We have a problem."
Gunny looked from the file he was reading up at
Harriet.
"What problem?"
"The Rose Garden will be closed during the ball." then
suddenly an idea
came to her. "Unless..."
"Unless what ma'am?"
"Gunny, get me Special Agent Clayton Webb on the
line."
^ ^ ^
"Lt. Sims, so let me get this straight," Clayton Webb
said as he sat
back in his chair, "You want me to make sure that
Commander Rabb has
access to the Rose Garden at the ball." He paused, "Am
I correct?"
"As well as Colonel Mackenzie, Sir."
"And why do I have to do this Lt.?"
"Because Mr. Webb, deep down inside you are a kind
generous person, who
wants to help, and because you're the one responsible
for all this" Harriet pleaded with him.
"How exactly I'm the one responsible for all this?"
"Well, you know, it was you who brought them together
five years ago."
"Oh alright, but Lt. you owe me one."
"Sure Mr. Webb." Harriet finished and hung up the
phone with a smile on
her face.
Gunny walked over to her and stood in front of her
desk.
"Ma'am?"
"Yes Gunny?"
"Did it work?"
"Yes Gunny it did." Harriet answered as she sat back
and looked at him.
"Good, now what do you have planned?"
"Oh that's for me to know and," She looked in the
direction of Mac's
and Harm's offices, "Them to find out."
"Yes Ma'am."
"We just have to get each of them to the Rose Garden
at the ball. I
think we can do that."
"Yes Ma'am."
^ ^ ^
To: Sarah MacKenzie
From: Washington
Received: 07:04 EST Tuesday, 02/13/01
Subject: M
****************************************
"Maybe it's been a little too long
Holding it in, trying to be strong
Funny the things we bottle up
Come streaming out when you feel enough
There is a trust the cautious will lack
Now that we've touched there's no holding back
I want to call out for love till I can't breathe
I want to stare at the truth till I can't see
I want to pour out my soul till I'm empty
When only flesh and bone remain
I'll hold you close, then start again
Feeling nothing but a sweet release
When the ghosts are gone from inside of me
I've tried to fight it but what can I do
There's something deeper that surrenders to you"
Teri Clark "Empty"
***
Mac stared at the latest message, tears coming to her
eyes. It reminded her of Sydney and the events
that had transpired since then *How many times have I
wanted to tell Harm exactly how I feel. I know that I
tried on the ferry and that he broke my heart, but as
the song said I'm tired of holding it in, trying to be
strong. It's time that he know exactly how I feel,
all the ghosts are gone from inside of me now. He's
not
going to know what hit him tomorrow night at the
ball.*
^ ^ ^
"Enter" Harm bellowed
"Sorry, Sir I can come back if this isn't a good
time." Harriet stated.
"Oh, Hi Harriet. I'm just thinking about this secret
admirer thing, its really getting to me."
*I guess there really isn't going to be a good time
if I don't stop Mac from meeting her secret admirer.*
"I know from the last email she got it looks
like he's going to pop the question, so far the
messages have spelt out WILL YOU MARRY M. E is the
only one left and the ball is tomorrow night. The
last song was really intense."
"What do you mean intense?"
"Well, its just, here let me show you." Harriet
pulled out a copy of the email and handed it to Harm
Holding it in, trying to be strong
Funny the things we bottle up
Come streaming out when you feel enough
There is a trust the cautious will lack
Now that we've touched there's no holding back
The things we bottle up, a trust the cautious will
lack, that could have been him that night on the
ferry. Harm knew that she had bared her soul to him,
put her heart on the line and he had broken her heart
with his thoughtless words, pushed her into the arms
of another man. He would do anything to be able to
take his words back. To be such a good litigator he
had really stumbled over his words, and what he wanted
to say had come out all backwards and wrong.
"Harriet, do you have any idea who could be sending
these to Sarah?"
"No, sir, not a clue." *So its Sarah now* "Maybe he'll
show up at the ball, and finish in person. How
romantic being asked to get married at the valentines
ball."
"Yeah, it gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling, Wait I think
its my lunch affecting me" joked Harm. *I feel like
I'm going to throw up and faint, this can't be
happening*
"Sir, I know that the Rose Garden is where you first
met the Colonel, but how will you truly feel if she
gets proposed to there?"
"I don't know Harriet." *I'm not going to let that
happen, I won't lose her to another man again*
^ ^ ^
14/14
To: Sarah MacKenzie
From: Washington
Received: 06:51 EST Wednesday, 02/14/01
Subject: E
****************************************
"Everybody gets a second chance
The circumstance to say I'm sorry
I'd like to tell you in advance
I'll take my chance and tell you I
Take my chance and tell you
I love you"
Mike & The Mechanics "Everybody Gets A Second Chance"
*****************************************
'Why is someone doing this to me? Sending me these
stupid emails.' Everyone of them reminded her of Harm
and her. How she
wished that Harm would take that chance.
She saved this email with the others. But suddenly she
froze, seeing all the letters in subjects together...
^ ^ ^
Mac walked in Harm's office, closed the door and sat
in the chair.
"Will you marry me ?"
"What?" his heart stopped for a moment.
"The email question is "Will you marry me."
"And?"
"And what, Harm? You want to know if I'm going to say
yes? Hell, I don't even know who's sending them to
me."
"I wasn't thinking about asking that."
"Oh, sorry. I'm just a bit tired of thinking who it
could be. So, when are you picking me up?" she
changed the subject.
"How's 1900 sound?"
"You'd better not be late, sailor."
^ ^ ^
Harm knocked on the door, his heart was pounding just
as loud. *Calm down Rabb, you'd think you never went
on a date before* then it hit him. He hadn't - with
Mac.
Mac's heart was pounding as loud as the knock on the
door. *Calm down marine, you'd think you never went on
a date before* then it hit her. She hadn't - with
Harm.
Mac opened the door to see Harm in full Mess Dress,
white short jacket with gold cumberbund, and black
pants.
*Now that was a uniform, to hell with dress whites*
Once she could breathe again she invited him in.
Harm only saw the vision in red before him, *Wow. and
I thought angels only wore white*
All of a sudden the words from a song came to his
mind.
Never seen you lookin' so lovely as you did tonight
Never seen you shine so bright
Never saw so many men
Ask you if you wanted to dance
Lookin' for a little romance
Given half the chance
I have never seen that dress you're wearing
Or the highlights in you hair that catch your eyes
I have been blind.
Never seen you lookin' so gorgeous as you did tonight
Never seen you shine so bright.
You're amazing
Never seen so many people
Wanting to be there by your side
And when you turned to me and smiled
Took my breath away
I have never had such a feeling
Such a feeling of complete and utter love
As I do tonight.
Lady In Red
Is dancing with me
Cheek to cheek
There's nobody here just you and me
It's where I want to be
I hardly know
This beauty by my side.
I'll never forget
The way you look tonight.
"Sarah, you look fantastic, that dress is amazing,
you'll be the most beautiful woman at the ball. All
the
guys will be lined up to dance with you."
The sound of her name coming from him, made her pulse
race, and her she could feel herself blushing. She
could count on one hand the times he had called her
Sarah, and it had never sounded like that. Opening
the closet door to get her coat gave her time to calm
down without Harm watching her. Once she had her coat
on Mac turned to him and smiled.
"Why thank you kind sir, but I think my dance card is
full."
That smile it took his breath away. *Breathe, Harm,
Breathe*
"You're not too shabby yourself flyboy."*Breathe,
Sarah, Breathe*
"Well, I know you've always said that dress whites
and gold wings are overrated and since it is winter;
Mess Dress is the Uniform of the Day."
"Mess Dress is certainly underrated. You could get
any girl to do what ever you wanted wearing those."
"How about a marine?"
"Yeah even a marine." *Especially this one*
^ ^ ^
They made their way towards the coat room and Harm
stepped behind her to take hers. As she slipped out of
it Harm took a
deep breath as the rest of her gown was uncovered. He
couldn't stop
thinking how beautiful she was in that floor length,
backless
dress.
*But she's beautiful everytime*
"What's wrong Harm?" Mac asked.
"Umm…nothing, nothing at all. Shall we?" Harm asked as
he guided them into the ballroom.
As they entered the ballroom, Harriet spotted them and
waved.
"Good evening Colonel, Commander."
"Good evening, Harriet. Where's Bud?"
"He's getting us some drinks. Look, there's Gunny with
his sister Valerie."
^ ^ ^
After dessert Mac excused herself for the ladies room
and Harriet followed her.
"Ma'am, I must say that your dress looks even better
tonight then the day you bought it."
"Harriet, it's Mac or Sarah, remember?" She smiled,
"And thank you. You look fabulous as well Harriet,
what did Bud say when he saw
your dress?"
"Speechless, as always."
They were silent for a moment as each fixed their
lipstick in the mirror.
"So what's going on with Commander Rabb tonight?"
"What do you mean Harriet?"
*Like you don't already know Mac* "Well let's see, he
can't leave your side."
"Harriet…"
"Mac, the way he's been watching you tonight, his hand
at your lower back, I can see it…so can everyone
else…"
"Harriet…"
"Think about it Sarah, and talk to Harm."
With that she picked up her handbag and left Mac to
her thoughts in the ladies room.
*What if she's right?*
After a few more moments, Mac decided it was time to
return, but had this feeling that she could not, yet.
She needed air,
something to clear her thoughts.
As she opened the door to the hallway, she found a
red rose with a note attached to it on the floor.
She picked it up and read 'Meet me in a Rose Garden'
Mac made her way down the corridor towards the French
doors at the end of the hallway.
The Rose Garden. The place where she met Harm. The
place
that changed her life forever. Will it change again?
Tonight?
*Take the chance Mac, you need some air anyway.*
the voice in her head said as she turned the handle
and stepped outside into the chilly night air.
^ ^ ^
Inside Harm looked over at the empty chair next to
him, then back to Harriet.
"Harriet, was Mac with you?"
"Yes, I don't know where she is though, I think she
said something about needing some air." She finished
as she looked
over at Bud and stood up.
"Want to dance Bud?"
Bud looked over at Harm, shrugged his shoulders and
followed his wife out onto the dance floor.
Harm looked over at the still empty chair and decided
to go look for his partner and friend.
As he made his way into the corridor and looked both
ways trying to decide which way she went.
*She said she needed some air.* Harriet's words echoed
in his ears.
Turning to the french doors he bumped into someone.
"Oh, I'm sorry sir. I wasn't looking. Here, you
dropped something." and he was gone.
Harm looked at the piece of paper in his hand. He
turned it over and read "Meet me in the Rose Garden."
^ ^ ^
Harm slowly walked through the garden. Seeing a
familiar breathtaking dress he called.
"Mac?"
"Yeah?" She called out quietly.
Harm shivered against the breeze as he made his way
over to her.
"What are you doing out here?" He asked.
"Me? What are YOU doing here?"
"I've got this message to meet someone here."
"Was that message "Meet me in the Rose Garden?"
"Yeah, how..." he stopped.
"I think a certain Lieutenant set us up. And not just
tonight."
"What do you mean by that?"
"You know, the roses I was getting with the emails
from
'Mr. Secret'.
The same rose was waiting for me with a message to
meet in the Rose Garden when I came out of the ladies
room."
"So this means all the emails were from Harriet?"
"I don't know, probably someone was helping her. Just
to get you jealous or something."
There was a silence for a while.
"What's going on tonight Harm?" Mac paused, "With us
I mean? Stuff seems to be so…"
"I know, tonight has been some sort of dream."
Mac smiled up at him, "Everything just seems to be so
clear, I mean look where we are now?"
"Where we met."
"This is where everything started, we had our twists
and turns, fallbacks if you may, and now we are
standing were we
did all those years ago."
Harm stepped up behind her and wrapped his arms around
her waist and pulled her closer to him.
"Sarah, I know that things have been shaky for us
since the ferry, but the last 14 days have finally
knocked some sense into this hard head of mine."
"Harm what are you talking about."
"The emails, they've made me realize just how much I
love you, how much I count on you being in my life,
what I would do if I lost you."
"Wait, did you say you love me?"
Harm dropped to his knees in exactly the same spot
where they had shook hands 5 years before.
"Yeah, and I'm going to say it for the next 50 or 60
years if you'll let me." Pulling out the ring that his
grandmother had sent overnight , he took her hand.
"Sarah MacKenzie, I know that I'm a pigheaded,
stubborn jerk but I love you with all my heart, my
world revolves around you. I know that you asked me
this question this morning" he smiled at her. Seeing
that she remembered he continued "but I'm asking you
now WILL YOU MARRY ME?"
"Oh, Harm yes I'll marry you., don't you know I've
loved you since the first time I saw you here?"
Harm slowly stood up and gathered Mac into his arms
lowering his head for a kiss that started like their
future together would be slow, sweet, then finally
leaving them breathless as their passion built.
Breaking away from each others lips they both marveled
at the feelings a kiss could bring. Visions of their
life together from one simple touch.
In the shadows the entire JAG staff were busy
congratulating each other on a job well done, their
plan had worked. Harriet was smiling from ear to ear.
"I love it when a plan comes together." said AJ.
^ ^ ^
To: Chloe Madison
From: Sarah MacKenzie
Received: 09:45 EST Thursday, 02/15/01
Subject: Dream
****************************************
Do you still want to be that flower girl?
****************************************
THE END
^ ^ ^
If you liked it, I'm glad.
If you loved it, just let me know and I send you a big hug.
Romy
Author: Romy
E-mail: sunshine8552@yahoo.com
Class.: S, R H&M
Disclaimer: Yes, I own them and that's why JAG airs here in Europe so late.
Songs used in this fanfic:
"Couldn't Last A Moment" by Collin Raye
"Turn Back Time" by Aqua
"Let Me In" by Chely Wright
"Letting Go" by Melissa Ethridge
"Looking Through Your Eyes" by LeAnn Rimes
"Because You Loved Me" by Celine Dion
"One More Chance" by Julio Iglesias,Jr.
"If You Asked Me To" by Celine Dion
"You Shouldn't Kiss Me Like This" by Toby Keith
"I Love You" by Sarah McLachlan
"How Did I Fall In Love With You" by Backstreet Boys
"Sometimes When We Touch" by Rod Stewart
"By Your Side" by Sade
"Empty" by Teri Clark
"Everybody Gets A Second Chance" by Mike & The Mechanics
"Lady In Red" by Chris DeBurgh
THANK YOU TO:
Stacey for all her help with songs, writing some parts with me and
for beta reading all my stupid mistakes :-)))
Kris for all her wonderful ideas, songs and also for writing with
me :-)))
Julie for songs/especially the first one/ and also for beta
reading :-)))
And to all of you for 'sticking out to the very end' /like Lisa/ and
your feedbacks....he he
Romy
^ ^ ^
1/14
1209 ZULU
JAG HEADQUARTERS
FALLS CHURCH, VIRGINIA
Lt.Colonel Sarah MacKenzie slowly walked through the dark bullpen. Reaching her office she
switched the lights and computer on. Then she took her cover off and sat in the chair.
"You got a secret admirer that I don't know about?" asked her partner Commander Harmon Rabb
leaning against doorframe.
"Huh?"
"That rose on your desk. Anybody I know?"
" Oh, I don't know. I hadn't noticed it."
"Then I'll leave you alone to read the card. Don't wanna be prosecuted for disturbing your
privacy, you know."
"Yeah, thanks."
From his office he watched as she picked up the rose, taking the card from it.
"You've got mail" was all that was written on it.
"Oh, great. Like I didn't know it. Let's see what's there."
To: Sarah MacKenzie
From: Washington
Received: 07:01 EST Thursday,02/01/01
Subject: W
****************************************
"What was I thinking, I could still walk down the street
Without you by my side
Or make it through the night
Alone I lie.
I said a lot of things
I didn't really mean
How can I make you see what matters most to me...
Couldn't last a moment without you."
Collin Raye "Couldn't Last A Moment"
****************************************
"Cool, I've really got a secret admirer."
^ ^ ^
2/14
1243 ZULU
JAG HEADQUARTERS
FALLS CHURCH, VIRGINIA
"Damn it!" was the first thing that Mac heard when she exited elevator.
"Hey partner, what was that for?"
"You didn't see the news, did you?"
"No, I overslept. And the traffic was really bad. What's wrong?"
"Well, nothing is wrong if you don't count the fact that they're predicting more
snowstorms
tonight, so there will be MORE snow than there is now."
Before she could respond, Harm continued, "And airports get snowed in
because of it
and....and what's so funny, ninjagirl?"
"Oh, nothing, just...You!" with that she began laughing again. "If you could hear your
'MORE snow' speech. "
"Really funny. "he responded now standing in front of her office.
" By the way, are you going to
tell me about that secret admirer?"
"In your dreams, Commander"
"Oh, you don't wanna be in my dreams, Colonel."
To: Sarah MacKenzie
From: Washington
Received: 07:25 EST Friday,02/02/2001
Subject: I
****************************************
"If only I could turn back time
If only I had said
What I still hide
If only I could turn back time
I would stay..."
Aqua "Turn Back Time"
****************************************
^ ^ ^
3/14
1305 ZULU
MAC'S APARTMENT
GEORGETOWN, DC
"God! Who on the earth won't let me sleep!"
"Your incredibly handsome partner. Now open the door!"
"Harm, it's 08:05 and 52 seconds and you're here dressed like you're going to the North Pole.
Thanks for stopping by and letting me know where you'll be this weekend, but now please go
and let me SLEEP!"
"No, no, no, no. I may be here dressed like a snowman, but I'm not going anywhere without you."
Leaning closer, he whispered into her ear, "It's payback time."
"What are you talking about?"
"Oh, I think you know what. Yesterday a certain Marine Lt.Colonel was laughing at me. Remember?
So I'm giving you ten minutes to change."
"I'm not going anywhere."
"And if we stop for Beltway Burgers?"
"I think five minutes will be enough!"
^ ^ ^
When they returned hours later, there was a rose in front of her door.
Picking it up, Harm gave it to her:"Mac, you know it's not fair that you have this secret
admirer and you won't tell your best friend about him."
"I already told Singer about him."
"Ha ha. Very funny, ninjagirl"
"Yeah, I thought so. I'm going to check my mail and then I'll tell you about him, okay?"
To: Sarah MacKenzie
From: Washington
Received: 09:11 EST Saturday,02/03/2001
Subject: L
****************************************
"Let me love you really love you
Open your heart and let me in
I don't know who taught you not to trust
I'll be constant as the sun that shines above
Close your eyes and take the fall
If it's really love there's no risk at all
I see your strength and how you shine
You're a diamond in the rough that should be mine
But you're still fighting an old old war
That's left you wounded and left you scarred
You hide your weakness
Behind those walls
You think it's your own secret
But in your eyes I see it all
Let me love you really love you
Open your heart and let me in
I don't know who taught you not to trust
I'll be constant as the sun that shines above
Close your eyes and take the fall
If it's really love there's no risk at all
Lay down your past and then you can begin
To let me love you really love you
I can love you if you'll only let me in, I can love
You if you'll only let me in"
Chely Wright "Let Me In"
****************************************
"Hey, as I recall, the one who lost that snowball fight has to make a hot chocolate."
Mac emerged from bedroom.
"I thought that the bet was lunch."
"You keep dreaming, flyboy. The bet was about hot chocolate. Lunch doesn't count.
Come on, I'll help you."
"No, you'll wait here. Just start thinking what you'll tell me about Mr. Secret."
A few minutes later he found her sleeping. While drinking his hot chocolate he watched
her. Even when she was sleeping she was smiling. It was the most beautiful smile he had
ever seen. Hearing the stereo playing in the background, he began singing to her.
"I came here to let you know
The letting go
Has taken place
I have held the winter's Sunday
Become one
Set my pace
Isn't that what we wanted all along
Freedom like a stone
Maybe we were wrong
But I can say goodbye
Now that the passion's died
Still it comes so slow
The letting go
Piece by piece I take apart
This complicated heart
And I hope to find
Something I can prove is real
I can feel is truth
I can say is mine
That's all I ever wanted to be
The closer that I got
The further I could see
But when lovers change
And the night feels strange
We choose our road
The letting go
I came here to let you know
The letting go
Has taken place"
"Nice song, Harm." she smiled at him.
"Oh, I didn't mean to wake you up."
"You didn't." she yawned "I was just taking" she yawned again "a quick nap."
"I can see that. I'll better get going and let you sleep."
"Yeah. And thanks for today, Harm. I really had a good time."
"You're welcome. Sleep well, Sarah." he placed a soft kiss on her cheek.
"Harm - "
"Yes?"
"Drive careful."
"As always."
^ ^ ^
4/14
1157 ZULU
MAC'S APARTMENT
GEORGETOWN, DC
Sarah MacKenzie woke that morning really relaxed. And although it was still early, she
couldn't sleep anymore. So she took Jingo and went for a walk. When she returned
she had to smile. Not needing to read the card, she waited to log on.
To: Sarah MacKenzie
From: Washington
Received: 06:47 EST Sunday, 02/04/01
Subject: L
****************************************
"Look at the sky
Tell me what do you see
Just close your eyes
And describe it to me
The heavens are sparkling
With starlight tonight
That's what I see
Through your eyes
I see the heavens
Each time you smile
I hear your heartbeat
Just go on for miles
And suddenly I know
My life is worthwhile
That's what I see
Through your eyes
Here in the night
I see the sun
Here in the dark
Our two hearts are one
It's out of our hands
We can't stop what we have begun
And love just took me by surprise
Looking through your eyes."
Leann Rimes "Looking Through Your Eyes"
****************************************
She saved the mail to her 'Secret Admirer' folder and began humming that song.
1241 ZULU
HARM'S APARTMENT
WASHINGTON, DC
"Comin'." a sleepy Harm yelled from bedroom.
"It's about time you answered the door."
"Mac, what are you doing here so early?"
"Good morning to you too, squid. I brought you breakfast. But I can come later
if you don't want it."
"Sorry. Didn't mean to sound like that. So what's for breakfast?"
^ ^ ^
"So he keeps sending you love letters?" asked Harm now in a pair of blue jeans and
a T-shirt sitting next to Mac, sipping his coffee.
"No. He keeps sending me lyrics of songs. Every day one song. And that song begins with a
capital letter that is also used as a subject."
"Oh, and what letters do you have already?"
"On Thursday it was W, next I, yesterday it was L and today another L."
"Fascinating. So his name is Will or he wants to ask you something.
Maybe 'Will you drop those charges against me' or 'Will you show me that tattoo of yours'?"
"Is that a request?"
"Mac..."
"What Harm? It's a simple question, can't you give me an answer this
Time?"
Harm fidgeted, unsure of what to say. He knew what he felt, but was
scared
to admit it out loud.
When he didn't answer Mac closed her eyes and tried to hold back the
tears
that were beginning to show themselves.
As she turned to walk away Harm reached out for her.
"And if I say yes?" he started leaning closer. Their lips were just inches apart when
the telephone rang. Harm was just about to kiss her, when Mac asked
again :" Shouldn't you answer that?"
"No."
""Harm, what if it's an emergency. Like it was with Webb." with that she stood up
and handed him the phone.
"Rabb. Hi, mom. Just hold on minute." sseeing Mac putting her coat on he asked
her:" Where are you going?"
"Home. You need to speak to your mom."
"Wait, I'll call her later."
"No, you'll talk to her now. It's not like you call her every day. We can talk tomorrow.
Bye." with that she left.
"Harm, you there?"
"Yes, mom.... No, you didn't interrupt anything......I'm fine...Yes, Mac's fine too....."
^ ^ ^
5/14
1159 ZULU
JAG HEADQUARTERS
FALLS CHURCH, VA
"Colonel, what are you doing here so early?"
"I couldn't sleep, Gunny. And what about you?"
"Same ma'am. Have a nice day!"
"You too."
And again there was a red rose on her desk.
To: Sarah MacKenzie
From: Washington
Received: 06:42 EST Monday, 02/05/01
Subject: Y
****************************************
"You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me"
Celine Dion "Because You Loved Me"
****************************************
1637 ZULU
JAG HEADQUARTERS
FALLS CHURCH, VIRGINIA
"Ma'am! Did you hear that?" a little too excited Harriet asked Lt.Colonel Mackenzie when she
exited courtroom.
"Heard what, Harriet?"
"About the White House Valentine's ball. There's this gossip going around that there are four
double tickets
for Jag as well. Bud... I mean that gossip says that those tickets came this morning and we've
already
started to take bets who would be the lucky ones. Wanna join?"
"OK. I bet that Lt. Singer won't be the lucky one."
2134 ZULU
JAG HEADQUARTERS
FALLS CHURCH, VIRGINIA
"Ma'am, admiral wants to see you, Commander Rabb and Lieutenant Roberts
in his office."
"Thank you Tiner. We'll be right in."
^ ^ ^
"So, Harriet, who won?"asked Mac when they exited admiral's office.
"Actually, everyone, because everyone thought it would be admiral, commander Rabb or you, ma'am."
"And no one bet on Bud?"
"No one ma'am. But isn't it cool that we're going to White House Valentine's ball?"
^ ^ ^
6/14
1215 ZULU
JAG HEADQUARTERS
FALLS CHURCH, VIRGINIA
"$800 dollars! You've got to be out of your mind; I
don't have that kind of money" Gunny exploded slamming
down the phone.
"Hey Gunny, anything I can help you with?"
"Gunny sprang up snapping to attention. "Sir, sorry,
Sir I wasn't aware there was anyone else in the office
this early."
"At ease, Gunny I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd
finish up some cases" *before I go crazy trying to
think of a way to ask Mac to the ball*" So what seems
to be your problem?"
"I'm trying to find tickets to the Valentines Ball I
promised my sister that I'd take her for her birthday.
Her 21st birthday, the only problem is they want
$800 for a set."
"$800 isn't that kind of expensive?" Looking at
Gunny's expression Harm realized that wasn't the legal
price "Oh, I understand now, that's quite a problem
you've got there."
"Valerie really has her heart set on going to the
ball for her birthday, a major event for a major
event in her life" *I'm pretty much screwed in the
brother department for the rest of my life if I don't
pull this off*
*Wow, he's pretty much screwed in the brother
department for the rest of his life if he doesn't pull
this off* Harm thought, just then the elevator door
opened and the reason for his sleepless night exited.
*God she's breathtaking*
Seeing Harm and Gunny in the bullpen she stopped. *I
do love men in uniform and those are the best
looking ones I've ever seen* "Morning guys, coffee
meeting?" She teased *Guess I'm not the only one
having trouble sleeping*
"Ah Mac, I was wondering if you had a date for the
ball yet?"
"No, why?" her heart skipped a beat.
"I was going to give my ticket to Gunny so that he
could take his sister for her birthday and I was
wondering if you'd take pity on a poor sailor and let
him go with you?"
*YES* "Harm that's so sweet. Would you go the ball
with me Commander?"
*YES* "Well since you asked so nicely, I'd love to
Colonel."
"Well Gunny looks like you get to make your sister's
dream birthday come true" they stated at the same
time.
"I don't know how to thank you both, I'll never forget
this and I'll find a way to repay your kindness
somehow"
"Not necessary Gunny" they spoke together.
Mac and Harm walked off to their offices all the while
both thinking how glad they were they were to be going
to the ball together. Mac's mind was already shopping
for a new gown, one that was going to knock the gold
wings right off Harm *and hopefully finally the dress
whites with them*. She slowly came out of her daze
when she heard his next comment.
"Hey Mac, should I wear dress whites?"
They were so wrapped in each other that neither of them
noticed Gunny with thumbs up and Harriet with that evil
grin of hers...
^ ^ ^
To: Sarah MacKenzie
From: Washington
Received: 07:03 EST Tuesday, 02/06/01
Subject: O
****************************************
"One day love came knocking on my door
But I was far away
I pretended that the sound I heard
Was just another game
Then I looked around and noticed pieces that were gone
You were right before me
and I couldn't see the bond
Day by day I think I'll grow to change
'Cause I can't stay the same
I wonder why it took so long for me to see the love
Was always in the way
You were right before me and I didn't see you there
I thought all my feelings were just begging not to care
Oh, will you give me just
One more chance
I want to try to understand
Just give me nothing but
One more chance
I want to make it all right..."
Julio Iglesias, Jr. "One More Chance"
****************************************
'God, this mails are driving me crazy. I wonder who...'
Mac stopped thinking as the object of her dreams and
fantasies was making his way to the kitchen...
^^^
7/14
To: Sarah MacKenzie
From: Washington
Received: 07:15 EST Wednesday, 02/07/01
Subject: U
****************************************
"Used to be that I believed in something
Used to be that I believed in love
It's been a long time since I've had that feeling
I could love someone
I could trust someone
I said I'd never let nobody near my heart again darlin'
I said I'd never let nobody in
But if you asked me to
I just might change my mind
And let you in my life forever
If you asked me to
I just might give my heart
And stay here in your arms forever
If you asked me to
If you asked me to"
Celine Dion "If You Asked Me To"
****************************************
"Good morning, Colonel."
"Morning, Harriet. What are you doing here so early?"
"Bud has to do some research before he goes to court.
Oh, what beautiful roses.
Who sent them? If you don't mind me asking..."
"It's all right. Actually, I don't know who keeps
sending them to me. Harm likes to call him "'Mr.
Secret Admirer'"
"Oh, really..."*I bet it's him*
^ ^ ^
"Harriet, would you please stop that?" asked Mac
returning books to the bookshelf.
"Stop what, ma'am?"
"Those looks you've been giving me the last couple of
days. Do I have
something on my face or what?"
"No, ma'am. It's just that I'm so happy for you and
the
Commander."
"You're what?"
"Um...I mean that I'm happy that Commander Rabb gave
his ticket to Gunny
so he can take his sister to the ball. *Whew, that was
close*
It will be a nice evening, don't you think? And who
knows what will happen..."
"Yeah, Harriet who knows." *How I'm going to survive
all week till then?*
Just then Harm stepped out of elevator.
"Hello, ladies. What are you talking about?"
"You." they both answered.
"What did I do or not do to deserve it?"
"Just that it was so nice of you to give your ticket
to Gunny."
*I bet they can't wait* thought Harriet.
"Yeah. A certain Marine begged me to go with her so I
didn't need the ticket" Harm winked at
Harriet. *How am I going to survive all week 'till
then?*
"You better watch it flyboy or I'll change my mind and
ask Webb" Mac teased back.
*How am I going to survive all week 'till then?*
"I'll be on my best behaviour then Ma'am" Harm
replied.
^ ^ ^
8/14
To: Sarah MacKenzie
From: Washington
Received: 06:45 EST Thursday,02/08/01
Subject: M
****************************************
"My heart skipped a beat in time
Something shot right through me
Moment that your lips touched mine
I've got a funny feeling
There's a different feel about you tonight
It's got me thinking lots of crazy things
I think I even saw a flash of light
It felt like electricity
Everybody swears we'd make a perfect pair
But dancing is as far as it goes
Girl you've never moved me quite the way you moved me tonight
I just wanted you to know
I just wanted you to know
You shouldn't kiss me like this unless you mean it like that
Cause I'll just close my eyes and I won't know where I'm at
We'll get lost on this dance floor spinning around
And around and around and around
They're all watching us now they think we're falling in love
They'd never believe we're just friends
When you kiss me like this I think you mean it like that
If you do baby kiss me again"
Toby Keith "You Shouldn't Kiss Me Like This"
****************************************
"Geez, Mac, thanks to that secret admirer your office
looks like a Flower shop."
"Ha ha. I think it's very sweet of him to send me
roses. You know, you could learn a lot from him."
"Learn what? That the best way to ask someone out is
to buy her a flower shop? Thank goodness your not
allergic to flowers."
"No. That if you still wanna go to that ball with me
you should start being nicer. I believe Webb will be
in town that week."
*You can't do that! *"Okay, so Ninjagirl how about
lunch? My treat, as long as there are
no flowers around, I feel my allergies acting up.
"I would love to."
^ ^ ^
9/14
To: Sarah MacKenzie
From: Washington
Received: 06:45 EST Friday,02/09/01
Subject: A
****************************************
"And everytime I'm close to you
There's too much I can't say
And you just walk away
And I forgot to tell you
I love you
And night's too long
Without you
I grieve in my condition
For I cannot find the words to say
I need you so..."
Sarah McLachlan "I Love You"
****************************************
" Mac, have you ever tried to reply him?"asked Harm.
"No. If he wanted me to know him, he would send me his
name. But it's obvious that he don't want me to know him."
"What if it's someone you know and he's just afraid."
"Speaking from your own experience?"
She looked him into the eyes. Seeing that he wasn't going
to response Mac took her files " Come on, we have 2 minutes
and 11 seconds."
"How do you do that?"
"Like I've said you before - I've got great timing."
^ ^ ^
"Come in "said Mac not stopping reading the file on her desk.
""Ma'am, I was wondering if you would like to go with me
shopping tomorrow. Bud will take AJ to the park and we can meet
them for a lunch." *And maybe someone else too.*
"Sure, Harriet. I was going to ask you the same thing."
^ ^ ^
"Come in." said Harm not stopping reading the file on his desk.
"Sir, I was wondering if you would like to go with me to the park with
AJ tomorrow. Harriet is going shopping and AJ miss you. We can meet Harriet
for the lunch. That's if you'll come."
"Sure, Bud."
^ ^ ^
"So?"
"He agreed to come, Harriet. But what do you have in your mind ?"
"Oh, you'll see. Just bring him to that lunch."
^ ^ ^
10/14
To: Sarah MacKenzie
From: Washington
Received: 07:04 EST Saturday,02/10/2001
Subject: R
****************************************
"Remember when
We never needed each other
The best friends like
Sister and brother
We understood
We never be
Alone
Those days are gone
Now I want you so much
The night is long
And I need your touch
Don't know what to say
Never meant to feel this way
Don't wanna be
Alone tonight
What can I do
To make you mine
Falling so hard, so fast this time
What did I say
What did you do
How did I fall in love with you ?"
Backstreet Boys "How Did I Fall In Love With You"
***
'Who could be sending me these emails' wondered Mac as she read the last one.
'Best friends like sister and brother' she remembered that sister / brother comment
very well. In fact, she remembered the occasion. NATO ball. Although they
were working that evening, it didn't stopped Mac staring at Harm. 'Well, I'm staring
at Harm all the time' she smiled to herself. When he said 'I don't think if you as
my sister' it was all Mac could do to not kiss him.
'Could Harm be the one sending the emails? His way of telling her that he's finally
letting go? No way, Harm's lucky if he can turn the computer on. but what if it's him?'
'God, if only Harriet and Bud had invited him too.'
^ ^ ^
'Who the hell could Mac's secret admirer be?' thought Harm as he was dressing
for his day with little AJ and Bud in the park. The thought of somebody he didn't
know getting too personal with her really bothered him. The thought of somebody
he knew bothered him. 'I hope it isn't BiteMe again'. The thought of losing her
bothered him. 'I have to do something about it. I can't go through another year like
last one.' If he had only spoken that night on the ferry, hell, if he had only stopped her
last Sunday when his mother called.
Harm continued to stare out of the window. Maybe he should call BugMe or whatever his
name is and ask him about this mails, if he's the one emailing her, asking her to marry
him again. He just had this feeling that this was where these emails were heading.
'God, if only Harriet and But had invited her, too.'
^ ^ ^
Mac arrived at the coffee shop right on time and
spotted Harriet at one
of
the tables. She waved as Mac got in line to place her
order.
"So how are you this morning Harriet?" Mac asked as
she sat down.
"I'm well, thanks for coming out with me today."
Mac smiled and took a sip of her coffee, "You're
welcome Harriet, we
haven't done this in a long time."
The two women spent the next two hours shopping
through the small shops
of Georgetown laughing and joking amoungst themselves.
"It looks like that's the last store over there, I'll
have to drive into DC if we can't find anything in
there." exclaimed Mac. "Maybe we should have asked
Webb to come along, he has perfect taste in gowns."
they laughed until tears came to their eyes at the
thought of the spy being dragged from store to store
behind them.
"I liked the dress at the last store, Ma'am" said
Harriet.
"Harriet how many times do I have to tell you not to
call me Ma'am away from the office"
"Sorry Sarah, its just slips out, it doesn't mean that
I still don't think of you as my friend or AJ's
godmother"
"I can't wait to see the little guy, how's he been?"
"Oh, growing like a weed, everyday brings so many
changes, he'll be three soon."
*Yeah, only 2 more years until the baby promise* "Oh
sorry daydreaming, what kind of dress am I looking?
for? Mac had been so distracted by her thoughts of
her and Harm having a baby together that she hadn't
heard Harriet's question. "I really don't know just
that I'll know it when I see it, although I'm not sure
why I'm going to all this
trouble, its not like I have some important date
Harriet, its just
Harm."
"Oh and he doesn't deserve that dusty rose dress that
I must say was
made
just for you."
"I didn't say that Harriet... I don't know..."
"Yes you do. We need to find you a dress that is
going to make the Commander drop to his knees and beg
you to be his valentine."
"Harriet, you know our relationship isn't like that"
*but the vision of Harm on his knees begging did have
some appeal, lots of it as a matter of fact* "We're
only going together because Harm gave his ticket to
Gunny."
"You can't sit there and tell me that you don't have
feelings for Harm, Sarah. I've seen the way you look
at him when you think no one's looking, the way you
look at little AJ and then look at Harm. When are you
going to quit kidding yourself that he's not the man
for you. *I swear if its the last thing I do I'm going
to be the maid of honor at you two's wedding*
"Ok, I admit I do have feelings for him, but their not
returned, he proved that in Australia. I'll just
have to be content with his friendship right now. Who
knows maybe my secret admirer will show up at the ball
and sweep me off my feet. Now lets get back to the
great dress hunt."
Mac never saw the sly grin that spread across
Harriet's face. *Be careful what you wish for*
^ ^ ^
"Sir, may I say, you are very good with him." Bud
pointed out as they played in the park.
Harm shrugged it off and continued making a snowman.
"How can someone so
little have so much energy Bud?"
"I've often wondered that myself, some days Harriet
and I are barely able to keep up with him. I don't
know what it will be like when he turns three soon."
*Yeah, only 2 more years until the baby promise*
"Sorry Bud, guess I was daydreaming. What did you
say?"
"Did you ever think of being a father?"
"What's this Bud, twenty questions?"
"No, I was just thinking...of Harriet and I...and
maybe another baby. I
mean
I never thought of myself in this position five years
ago. Time changes
so quickly, one moment you are here and the
next...well who knows."
"Yes I've thought about it Bud, I just..."
"I understand sir."
They were silent for a bit before Bud spoke up again.
"It was nice of you sir to give your ticket to gunny,
although for the
life
of me I cant figure out why his sister would want to
go to this."
"I don't know Bud, that would be something to ask
Gunny. I am just glad
Mac was willing to take me."
"She'd take you anywhere Sir."
"What?"
"How much longer are your going to deny your feelings
for Sarah? I've seen the way you look at her when you
think no one's looking, the way you look at little AJ
and then look at her. When are you going to quit
kidding your self that she's not the woman for you.
*I swear if it's the last thing I do I'm going to be
the best man at you two's wedding"
"Ok, I admit I do have feelings for her, but after the
fiasco in Australia she'll never let me close to her
again. I was such a fool and now she has this secret
admirer that will probably show up at the ball and
sweep her off her feet."
Harm never saw the sly grin that spread across Bud's
face. *Be careful what you wish for*
"Here comes Harriet, just in time.
Looks like she has someone with her though."
Harm could feel the hair on the back of his neck stand
up, that usually only happened when Mac was around.
Turning around he looked in the direction Bud was
pointing, walking
towards them were Harriet and Mac.
"Hi, honey. How did the dress hunt go?"
"Great Bud, Sarah and I both found really great
dresses for the
ball. I'll give you a preview of mine when we get
home."
"What about a preview of your dress Mac" teased Harm.
Before she could reply a blond whirlwind threw
himself at her legs shouting "Aunt Mac, Aunt Mac".
Reaching down to pick up him up she didn't notice the
look of longing that crossed Harm's face at seeing
the two of them together but Bud and Harriet did.
^ ^ ^
Harriet and Bud watched the reactions from their best friends. Unsure
of what was going to happen, and the sudden feeling that Harm and Mac
needed to be alone Harriet turned to Bud as she picked up Baby AJ.
"Come on, let's bring him over to the swings."
"But..."
"Come on Bud." She said smiling at him, hoping he would get the
picture.
"Oh...okay." He replied as Harriet reached for his arm to pull him with
her.
^ ^ ^
"Mac....hi...ah what are you doing here?" He asked her as a slow smile
appeared.
"Harriet and I went shopping this morning, as you heard." She paused
and looked at her shoes, "What are you doing here?"
"Bud asked me yesterday to come here with Baby AJ."
They both figgited, rooted in the same spot they were in when they
noticed each other.
"Mac, I want to say thank you for letting me come with you to the ball,
I am sure that you had other plans...with someone..." He let his
sentence trail off, hoping he wouldn't have to finish it. It hurt.
"You're welcome Harm." She gave him a smile that covered her entire face.
"You know I wasn't going to bring anyone..." She whispered.
'Good' Harm thought to himself as he took a step closer to Mac.
"So about this dress Mac, do I get that free preview?" He asked.
"Ha, in your dreams Flyboy!" Mac laughed.
'You already are' he said to himself.
"You know I am glad you are here," He paused and looked over at his
friend.
Suddenly Mac was withdrawn and she wasn't looking at him, she was
watching Harriet and Bud with Baby AJ. She had a distant look in her eyes,
Harm became concerned with her sudden actions.
"Mac? Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, I guess." She looked at him for a moment, then back to Baby AJ,
"Have you ever felt like life could of went in another direction? And
if it had, would the people you know still be there?"
"That's a heavy topic for the park Mac, what's up?"
"Forget about it. Let's go eat!"
"Some things never change."
^ ^ ^
11/14
To: Sarah MacKenzie
From: Washington
Received: 06:37 EST Sunday, 02/11/01
Subject: R
****************************************
"Romance and all its strategy leaves me battling with my pride.
But through the insecurity, some tenderness survives.
I'm just another writer still trapped within my truth;
A hesitant prizefighter still trapped within my youth.
And sometimes when we touch, the honesty's too much,
And I have to close my eyes and hide.
I wanna hold you till I die, till we both break down and cry.
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides.
At times I'd like to break you and drive you to your knees.
At times I'd like to break through and hold you endlessly.
At times I understand you, and I know how hard you've tried.
I've watched while love commands you,
And I've watched love pass you by.
At times I think we're drifters, still searching for a friend,
A brother or a sister. But then the passion flares again.
And sometimes when we touch, the honesty's too much,
And I have to close my eyes and hide.
I wanna hold you till I die, till we both break down and cry.
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides. "
Rod Stewart "Sometimes When We Touch"
***************************************
'Here it is. Another brother / sister comment. But what the hell
he meant by that ' but then the passion flares again' comment.?
I'm gonna ask Harm about this. If he's the one sending me this mails,
just joking with me, I swear I'll get him for it. But what if he
really mean it ?' Mac said to herself.
Her eyes fell on the beautiful red dress that was laying on the sofa.
'Only 82 hours 19 minutes and 25 seconds 'till the ball!'
^ ^ ^
12/14
To: Sarah MacKenzie
From: Washington
Received: 06:42 EST Monday, 02/12/01
Subject: Y
****************************************
"You think I'd leave your side baby
You know me better than that
You think I'd leave you down when you're down on your knees
I wouldn't do that
I'll tell you you're right when you want
And if only you could see into me
Oh when you're cold, I'll be there, hold u tight to me
When you're on the outside baby and you can't get in
I will show you you're so much better than you know
When you're lost and you're alone and you cant get back again
I will find you darling and I will bring you home
And if you want to cry, I am here to dry your eyes
And in no time, you'll be fine
Oh when you're cold, I'll be there, hold u tight to me
When you're low I'll be there, by your side baby"
Sade "By Your Side"
****************************************
Harm sat in his office looking at Mac. She had this smile
on her face - smile that she has for 12 days. For 12 days
she had been receiving mails and roses from that secret
admirer. For 12 days he had been wondering who Mr. Secret is.
'At least she's not going to that ball with him.'
^ ^ ^
Mac continued to read the email for the third time. For
12 days she had been receiving these emails. For 12 days
she had been wondering who her secret admirer is. For 12 days
she had been hoping that it is Harm.
'At least I'm going to the ball with him.'
^^^
From her desk Harriet watched the two officers. How they were
looking at each other when they thought the other one isn't looking.
She was sure that for 12 days Harm had been wondering about this
secret admirer. And that for 12 days Mac hoped it is Harm.
She smiled to herself. 'The plan is working.'
^ ^ ^
13/14
"We have a problem."
Gunny looked from the file he was reading up at
Harriet.
"What problem?"
"The Rose Garden will be closed during the ball." then
suddenly an idea
came to her. "Unless..."
"Unless what ma'am?"
"Gunny, get me Special Agent Clayton Webb on the
line."
^ ^ ^
"Lt. Sims, so let me get this straight," Clayton Webb
said as he sat
back in his chair, "You want me to make sure that
Commander Rabb has
access to the Rose Garden at the ball." He paused, "Am
I correct?"
"As well as Colonel Mackenzie, Sir."
"And why do I have to do this Lt.?"
"Because Mr. Webb, deep down inside you are a kind
generous person, who
wants to help, and because you're the one responsible
for all this" Harriet pleaded with him.
"How exactly I'm the one responsible for all this?"
"Well, you know, it was you who brought them together
five years ago."
"Oh alright, but Lt. you owe me one."
"Sure Mr. Webb." Harriet finished and hung up the
phone with a smile on
her face.
Gunny walked over to her and stood in front of her
desk.
"Ma'am?"
"Yes Gunny?"
"Did it work?"
"Yes Gunny it did." Harriet answered as she sat back
and looked at him.
"Good, now what do you have planned?"
"Oh that's for me to know and," She looked in the
direction of Mac's
and Harm's offices, "Them to find out."
"Yes Ma'am."
"We just have to get each of them to the Rose Garden
at the ball. I
think we can do that."
"Yes Ma'am."
^ ^ ^
To: Sarah MacKenzie
From: Washington
Received: 07:04 EST Tuesday, 02/13/01
Subject: M
****************************************
"Maybe it's been a little too long
Holding it in, trying to be strong
Funny the things we bottle up
Come streaming out when you feel enough
There is a trust the cautious will lack
Now that we've touched there's no holding back
I want to call out for love till I can't breathe
I want to stare at the truth till I can't see
I want to pour out my soul till I'm empty
When only flesh and bone remain
I'll hold you close, then start again
Feeling nothing but a sweet release
When the ghosts are gone from inside of me
I've tried to fight it but what can I do
There's something deeper that surrenders to you"
Teri Clark "Empty"
***
Mac stared at the latest message, tears coming to her
eyes. It reminded her of Sydney and the events
that had transpired since then *How many times have I
wanted to tell Harm exactly how I feel. I know that I
tried on the ferry and that he broke my heart, but as
the song said I'm tired of holding it in, trying to be
strong. It's time that he know exactly how I feel,
all the ghosts are gone from inside of me now. He's
not
going to know what hit him tomorrow night at the
ball.*
^ ^ ^
"Enter" Harm bellowed
"Sorry, Sir I can come back if this isn't a good
time." Harriet stated.
"Oh, Hi Harriet. I'm just thinking about this secret
admirer thing, its really getting to me."
*I guess there really isn't going to be a good time
if I don't stop Mac from meeting her secret admirer.*
"I know from the last email she got it looks
like he's going to pop the question, so far the
messages have spelt out WILL YOU MARRY M. E is the
only one left and the ball is tomorrow night. The
last song was really intense."
"What do you mean intense?"
"Well, its just, here let me show you." Harriet
pulled out a copy of the email and handed it to Harm
Holding it in, trying to be strong
Funny the things we bottle up
Come streaming out when you feel enough
There is a trust the cautious will lack
Now that we've touched there's no holding back
The things we bottle up, a trust the cautious will
lack, that could have been him that night on the
ferry. Harm knew that she had bared her soul to him,
put her heart on the line and he had broken her heart
with his thoughtless words, pushed her into the arms
of another man. He would do anything to be able to
take his words back. To be such a good litigator he
had really stumbled over his words, and what he wanted
to say had come out all backwards and wrong.
"Harriet, do you have any idea who could be sending
these to Sarah?"
"No, sir, not a clue." *So its Sarah now* "Maybe he'll
show up at the ball, and finish in person. How
romantic being asked to get married at the valentines
ball."
"Yeah, it gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling, Wait I think
its my lunch affecting me" joked Harm. *I feel like
I'm going to throw up and faint, this can't be
happening*
"Sir, I know that the Rose Garden is where you first
met the Colonel, but how will you truly feel if she
gets proposed to there?"
"I don't know Harriet." *I'm not going to let that
happen, I won't lose her to another man again*
^ ^ ^
14/14
To: Sarah MacKenzie
From: Washington
Received: 06:51 EST Wednesday, 02/14/01
Subject: E
****************************************
"Everybody gets a second chance
The circumstance to say I'm sorry
I'd like to tell you in advance
I'll take my chance and tell you I
Take my chance and tell you
I love you"
Mike & The Mechanics "Everybody Gets A Second Chance"
*****************************************
'Why is someone doing this to me? Sending me these
stupid emails.' Everyone of them reminded her of Harm
and her. How she
wished that Harm would take that chance.
She saved this email with the others. But suddenly she
froze, seeing all the letters in subjects together...
^ ^ ^
Mac walked in Harm's office, closed the door and sat
in the chair.
"Will you marry me ?"
"What?" his heart stopped for a moment.
"The email question is "Will you marry me."
"And?"
"And what, Harm? You want to know if I'm going to say
yes? Hell, I don't even know who's sending them to
me."
"I wasn't thinking about asking that."
"Oh, sorry. I'm just a bit tired of thinking who it
could be. So, when are you picking me up?" she
changed the subject.
"How's 1900 sound?"
"You'd better not be late, sailor."
^ ^ ^
Harm knocked on the door, his heart was pounding just
as loud. *Calm down Rabb, you'd think you never went
on a date before* then it hit him. He hadn't - with
Mac.
Mac's heart was pounding as loud as the knock on the
door. *Calm down marine, you'd think you never went on
a date before* then it hit her. She hadn't - with
Harm.
Mac opened the door to see Harm in full Mess Dress,
white short jacket with gold cumberbund, and black
pants.
*Now that was a uniform, to hell with dress whites*
Once she could breathe again she invited him in.
Harm only saw the vision in red before him, *Wow. and
I thought angels only wore white*
All of a sudden the words from a song came to his
mind.
Never seen you lookin' so lovely as you did tonight
Never seen you shine so bright
Never saw so many men
Ask you if you wanted to dance
Lookin' for a little romance
Given half the chance
I have never seen that dress you're wearing
Or the highlights in you hair that catch your eyes
I have been blind.
Never seen you lookin' so gorgeous as you did tonight
Never seen you shine so bright.
You're amazing
Never seen so many people
Wanting to be there by your side
And when you turned to me and smiled
Took my breath away
I have never had such a feeling
Such a feeling of complete and utter love
As I do tonight.
Lady In Red
Is dancing with me
Cheek to cheek
There's nobody here just you and me
It's where I want to be
I hardly know
This beauty by my side.
I'll never forget
The way you look tonight.
"Sarah, you look fantastic, that dress is amazing,
you'll be the most beautiful woman at the ball. All
the
guys will be lined up to dance with you."
The sound of her name coming from him, made her pulse
race, and her she could feel herself blushing. She
could count on one hand the times he had called her
Sarah, and it had never sounded like that. Opening
the closet door to get her coat gave her time to calm
down without Harm watching her. Once she had her coat
on Mac turned to him and smiled.
"Why thank you kind sir, but I think my dance card is
full."
That smile it took his breath away. *Breathe, Harm,
Breathe*
"You're not too shabby yourself flyboy."*Breathe,
Sarah, Breathe*
"Well, I know you've always said that dress whites
and gold wings are overrated and since it is winter;
Mess Dress is the Uniform of the Day."
"Mess Dress is certainly underrated. You could get
any girl to do what ever you wanted wearing those."
"How about a marine?"
"Yeah even a marine." *Especially this one*
^ ^ ^
They made their way towards the coat room and Harm
stepped behind her to take hers. As she slipped out of
it Harm took a
deep breath as the rest of her gown was uncovered. He
couldn't stop
thinking how beautiful she was in that floor length,
backless
dress.
*But she's beautiful everytime*
"What's wrong Harm?" Mac asked.
"Umm…nothing, nothing at all. Shall we?" Harm asked as
he guided them into the ballroom.
As they entered the ballroom, Harriet spotted them and
waved.
"Good evening Colonel, Commander."
"Good evening, Harriet. Where's Bud?"
"He's getting us some drinks. Look, there's Gunny with
his sister Valerie."
^ ^ ^
After dessert Mac excused herself for the ladies room
and Harriet followed her.
"Ma'am, I must say that your dress looks even better
tonight then the day you bought it."
"Harriet, it's Mac or Sarah, remember?" She smiled,
"And thank you. You look fabulous as well Harriet,
what did Bud say when he saw
your dress?"
"Speechless, as always."
They were silent for a moment as each fixed their
lipstick in the mirror.
"So what's going on with Commander Rabb tonight?"
"What do you mean Harriet?"
*Like you don't already know Mac* "Well let's see, he
can't leave your side."
"Harriet…"
"Mac, the way he's been watching you tonight, his hand
at your lower back, I can see it…so can everyone
else…"
"Harriet…"
"Think about it Sarah, and talk to Harm."
With that she picked up her handbag and left Mac to
her thoughts in the ladies room.
*What if she's right?*
After a few more moments, Mac decided it was time to
return, but had this feeling that she could not, yet.
She needed air,
something to clear her thoughts.
As she opened the door to the hallway, she found a
red rose with a note attached to it on the floor.
She picked it up and read 'Meet me in a Rose Garden'
Mac made her way down the corridor towards the French
doors at the end of the hallway.
The Rose Garden. The place where she met Harm. The
place
that changed her life forever. Will it change again?
Tonight?
*Take the chance Mac, you need some air anyway.*
the voice in her head said as she turned the handle
and stepped outside into the chilly night air.
^ ^ ^
Inside Harm looked over at the empty chair next to
him, then back to Harriet.
"Harriet, was Mac with you?"
"Yes, I don't know where she is though, I think she
said something about needing some air." She finished
as she looked
over at Bud and stood up.
"Want to dance Bud?"
Bud looked over at Harm, shrugged his shoulders and
followed his wife out onto the dance floor.
Harm looked over at the still empty chair and decided
to go look for his partner and friend.
As he made his way into the corridor and looked both
ways trying to decide which way she went.
*She said she needed some air.* Harriet's words echoed
in his ears.
Turning to the french doors he bumped into someone.
"Oh, I'm sorry sir. I wasn't looking. Here, you
dropped something." and he was gone.
Harm looked at the piece of paper in his hand. He
turned it over and read "Meet me in the Rose Garden."
^ ^ ^
Harm slowly walked through the garden. Seeing a
familiar breathtaking dress he called.
"Mac?"
"Yeah?" She called out quietly.
Harm shivered against the breeze as he made his way
over to her.
"What are you doing out here?" He asked.
"Me? What are YOU doing here?"
"I've got this message to meet someone here."
"Was that message "Meet me in the Rose Garden?"
"Yeah, how..." he stopped.
"I think a certain Lieutenant set us up. And not just
tonight."
"What do you mean by that?"
"You know, the roses I was getting with the emails
from
'Mr. Secret'.
The same rose was waiting for me with a message to
meet in the Rose Garden when I came out of the ladies
room."
"So this means all the emails were from Harriet?"
"I don't know, probably someone was helping her. Just
to get you jealous or something."
There was a silence for a while.
"What's going on tonight Harm?" Mac paused, "With us
I mean? Stuff seems to be so…"
"I know, tonight has been some sort of dream."
Mac smiled up at him, "Everything just seems to be so
clear, I mean look where we are now?"
"Where we met."
"This is where everything started, we had our twists
and turns, fallbacks if you may, and now we are
standing were we
did all those years ago."
Harm stepped up behind her and wrapped his arms around
her waist and pulled her closer to him.
"Sarah, I know that things have been shaky for us
since the ferry, but the last 14 days have finally
knocked some sense into this hard head of mine."
"Harm what are you talking about."
"The emails, they've made me realize just how much I
love you, how much I count on you being in my life,
what I would do if I lost you."
"Wait, did you say you love me?"
Harm dropped to his knees in exactly the same spot
where they had shook hands 5 years before.
"Yeah, and I'm going to say it for the next 50 or 60
years if you'll let me." Pulling out the ring that his
grandmother had sent overnight , he took her hand.
"Sarah MacKenzie, I know that I'm a pigheaded,
stubborn jerk but I love you with all my heart, my
world revolves around you. I know that you asked me
this question this morning" he smiled at her. Seeing
that she remembered he continued "but I'm asking you
now WILL YOU MARRY ME?"
"Oh, Harm yes I'll marry you., don't you know I've
loved you since the first time I saw you here?"
Harm slowly stood up and gathered Mac into his arms
lowering his head for a kiss that started like their
future together would be slow, sweet, then finally
leaving them breathless as their passion built.
Breaking away from each others lips they both marveled
at the feelings a kiss could bring. Visions of their
life together from one simple touch.
In the shadows the entire JAG staff were busy
congratulating each other on a job well done, their
plan had worked. Harriet was smiling from ear to ear.
"I love it when a plan comes together." said AJ.
^ ^ ^
To: Chloe Madison
From: Sarah MacKenzie
Received: 09:45 EST Thursday, 02/15/01
Subject: Dream
****************************************
Do you still want to be that flower girl?
****************************************
THE END
^ ^ ^
If you liked it, I'm glad.
If you loved it, just let me know and I send you a big hug.
Romy