Lexi bobbed her head in time to the music blasting from her headphones. Jen sat in the driver's seat, suffering from a case of road rage. Two people cut her off, and to add to her frustration, a woman who she had let by didn't even signal so much as a thank you. Lexi hid her amusement when Jen remarked rather loudly and vulgarly on why manners were important, and then placed her headphones in her ears. They were on their way to the grocery store, and Jen had already cursed 3 people out. That was a record.
"You know, it's not healthy if I can hear what you're listening to while I'm sitting next to you," Jen commented.
Lexi paused her music. "It isn't that loud, Mom," Lexi replied.
"I can tell that you've been listening to Rihanna for the past 10 minutes," Jen retorted.
"Impressive," Lexi remarked sarcastically.
Jen instantly slammed on her brakes when a guy in a small car failed to indicate before turning in front of her. "Oh you have got to be- Nice job, dumbass! You must have obtained your license from a damn cereal box!" Jen yelled out of the window.
Lexi swallowed the laugh that had threatened to spill out. It was too amusing to watch.
Jen sighed and glanced at Lexi. "I'm sorry, honey. Some people need to stay off of the road,"
"Like Ziva?" Lexi suggested.
"Prime example," Jen responded with a smirk. They made it to Walmart without any further incident involving rude drivers. Jen pointed to the corner of the entrance where the shopping carts were stacked.
"Get a shopping cart, honey," Jen instructed. Lexi obeyed and pulled a shopping cart apart from the others. She stepped onto it and started to ride it like a scooter. Jen abruptly put a hand on the handle.
"Quit it. Honestly, Lexi, what are you, 4?" Jen scolded in annoyance.
"No, if I were 4, I'd be way too short to be able to ride the cart," Lexi replied in an as-a-matter-of-fact voice. Jen gave her an exasperated look
"Don't push it. We are barely inside of the store and you're already acting like a bratty 6 year old," Jen remarked with an eye roll.
Lexi couldn't help herself. "I thought I was 4?" Lexi asked with a smirk.
Jen fixed her with a glare that could have chilled Death Valley. Lexi smiled sheepishly. "Sorry," she replied, backing up slowly.
They walked in the store and immediately started at the aisle with the drinks and snacks. Lexi squealed and picked up a can of Monster. "Oh my gosh, Mom. We have to get this!"
"No, we don't. That stuff is bad for your system," Jen answered sharply. Lexi rolled her eyes and put it back on the shelf. Jen continued to shop and placed drinks in the shopping cart. Lexi slyly placed various junk food items in the cart, hoping that Jen wouldn't notice.
"Put it back," Jen ordered, catching Lexi in her attempt at sticking Fruit Roll-Ups in the cart. Lexi groaned and returned the snack. Jen eyed the contents of the cart and her frustration returned.
"Alexia, honestly?" Jen snapped. Lexi's eyes widened and she put her hands up.
"What? I didn't do anything!" Lexi protested innocently.
"Really? So basically these boxes of cookies, Twinkies and Cosmic brownies just grew legs and found their way in our cart?" Jen asked sarcastically.
"...Yes," Lexi tried sounding confident.
"Put. Them. Back," Jen growled. Lexi huffed and returned all of the snacks to their designated shelves. They made their way to the area with the dairy and meat. Lexi shivered.
"Geez... why is it so cold over here?" Lexi grumbled, goosebumps forming on her skin. Jen shrugged with a teasing smirk.
"I don't know. Probably due to the numerous coolers and freezers we're standing near," Jen pointed out.
Lexi scowled. "Your sarcasm is not funny," she remarked.
Jen snickered. "Don't like the taste of your own medicine?"
"Not unless it's grape flavored," Lexi replied simply, making Jen chuckle. Jen put milk, cheese and eggs in the cart. Lexi reached for yogurt, looking at Jen first for permission. Jen nodded and Lexi happily tossed the yogurt in the cart.
Lexi was rejected yet again when she wanted to place a box of chocolate chip waffles in the cart.
"Mine are much better, trust me," Jen replied.
Lexi almost exploded with happiness when Jen nodded at Lexi's request for Hot Pockets.
"Hopefully, Tony and McGee don't eat my Hot Pockets again," Lexi remarked. Tony and McGee had come over one weekend, and when Lexi went into the fridge for a Hot Pocket, she found that they were gone. Tony was immediately deemed a prime suspect until it was found out that both him and McGee had eaten them. To say that Lexi was angry was an understatement.
They reached the fruit and vegetable section.
"Lex, grab a head of lettuce from over there, please," Jen directed. Lexi nodded and strode over to where the section with various salad items were.
"I've got one," Lexi announced, holding up the vegetable. Jen eyed the item and bit back a laugh. She sighed a ran a hand through her long red hair.
"Sweetie, that's cabbage," Jen answered softly. Lexi gawked at the cabbage.
"Are you se-" Lexi growled, marching back and returning with the right vegetable.
"Please don't tell the team. The last thing that I want is for Tony to tease me because I couldn't tell a lettuce from a cabbage," Lexi pleaded.
"It's fine, honey. Tony should be the last person to tease you. He didn't know the difference between a radish and a turnip," Jen replied. Lexi giggled. Jen handed her a plastic bag.
"Can you handle getting a few tomatoes?" Jen asked seriously.
"You can count on me, Señora Directora," Lexi replied with a salute.
"First off, I'm hoping that you did not just call me Madame Director in Spanish, and two, wrong hand," Jen commented.
"I actually called you 'Lady Director'," Lexi pointed out.
"Careful, Tony almost got keelhauled last time," Jen warned. Lexi smirked and set off to gather tomatoes in the plastic bag. Jen didn't think that anything could go awry this time. Oh but how mistaken she was. The tomatoes at the top of the pile weren't suitable for Lexi's liking, so she grabbed one from the bottom. Bad move.
A mini avalanche of tomatoes toppled down and surrounded Lexi. Lexi looked around her in panic at the mess of mashed tomatoes. Jen didn't know how to react, and her face flushed with both embarrassment and shock. The intercom sounded loudly.
"Huge clean up in the vegetable area. Teen stuck in tomatoes," the voice announced in amusement. Lexi blushed and sheepishly handed the bag of tomatoes to Jen, who fought the urge to laugh. An employee lifted Lexi out of the mess and she apologized sheepishly.
The employee smiled and assured Lexi that it wasn't a big deal. Lexi eyed her mother who tried her hardest not to show her mirth.
"Karma," Jen stated simply.
"For what? I didn't do anything bad lately!" Lexi replied. Jen gave her a look. "Okay, so, I may or may not have super glued Dorneget to his desk. But you already gave it to me good for that one!" Lexi protested. The prank was meant to be funny. And it was, Dorneget had even chuckled. But Jen didn't think it was very funny that the smell of acetone had covered the bullpen.
"Darn right," Jen mumbled, turning into the cleaning aisle.
"Ya know, if he shaved his head and wore white, Tony would look exactly like Mr. Clean!" Lexi remarked, holding up a bottle of Mr. Clean.
"Not funny," Jen responded, but she smirked, placing bottles of detergent and fabric softener in along with dish washing soap. Jen turned into the aisle that had the sparkling drinks and water.
"Can I have Vitamin Water?" Lexi inquired. Jen didn't see the harm in it and nodded. Lexi gleefully placed 3 bottles of Vitamin Water in the cart and Jen added bottled water in as well.
They made their way to the area of the store that held the hygienic products. "You most likely need more shampoo, don't you?" Jen asked.
Lexi nodded as she tossed a bottle of shampoo along with conditioner in the cart. Lexi rolled her eyes when Jen added a few makeup products.
"You don't need makeup ya know. You look pretty without it," Lexi stated.
"Thank you, sweetie. But it doesn't hurt to wear a little makeup once in a while," Jen commented.
All was fine until Lexi's eyes fell onto a section that made her face go pallid. "Oh God..."
Jen turned around. "What? What is-" she looked where Lexi was staring and grinned. "Oh so you've discovered the 'adult section', huh?" Jen teased.
"That is just gross!" Lexi remarked distastefully. Jen looked at her funny.
"What? It is! I mean, protection is important, but geez! Talk about being extra. Textures? Colors? And- Oh God, they have flavors too!?" Lexi groaned, her stomach feeling sick.
"Lexi-"
"If I were with friends in the store, I'd be laughing. But not with my MOM! That's awkward. Look! Why do you need one that's 'charged'!? Oh please tell me that doesn't say stimulation. I think I'm going to pass out," Lexi remarked dramatically. Jen shook her head while laughing.
"Lexi, you'll be an adult in no time. Your mind will change. Jethro and I-"
"Nope, nope NOPE! We are NOT continuing this conversation! That is just nasty!" Lexi interrupted.
Jen smiled and to Lexi's relief, announced that it was time to check out. Lexi packed the items onto the conveyor belt. She cursed to herself when Jen snatched the package of Jello pudding from the belt and shoved it into Lexi's hands. Lexi placed it aside.
"If I catch you sneaking things into the cart again..." Jen trailed off.
Lexi smirked and helped to bag the groceries. They exited the store and packed the groceries in the back of the car.
"That was an interesting trip to the grocery store," Lexi commented.
"I'll say. I didn't think that you'd actually get caught in a tomato avalanche. I don't know who behaves the worst in the store, you or the team," Jen scoffed.
"Hey, they went grocery shopping with you?" Lexi asked.
"Tony, Ziva and McGee. Tony knocked over a whole shelf of canned beans, McGee dropped a container of milk by accident, they both started an argument over what food is better and Ziva was so embarrassed by them, she yelled at them in Hebrew then waited in the car until we were finished," Jen replied.
"Oh my gosh. I wonder how you got roped into that one," Lexi commented with a grin.
"They wanted to tag along. I wanted to strangle Tony and McGee. They are like two 5 year olds in adult bodies," Jen stated.
"Who's the least well-behaved in the store?" Lexi asked out of curiosity.
Before Jen answered, she slammed on her brakes. The same guy who had cut her off earlier had done it again and was currently flipping her the bird.
"Go find another purpose for that finger, you bastard!" Jen yelled.
Lexi shook her head. Jen smiled sweetly. "You were saying?" Jen asked. Lexi repeated the question and Jen nodded slightly, thinking for a moment.
"Jethro," she replied finally.
~*~FIN~*~
... I need help. Popped into my brain in the store with my mom. Don't know what's wrong with me. Buuuuut... it's my birthday! I'm 15 years old now, and I was talking to my fellow muse, Rachel, and I have come to the conclusion... that I screwed up. Lexi's birthday was supposed to be last month, and Kirsten's 3 weeks ago... So, I'm going to have to write fics with their birthdays so I can get back on track. Sorry guys . I'll get to it! Haha #HotMess
-Ally :P