I can not breath.

I can't breath and before I know it, I can't see anything either. I can't feel anything other than my fears, dwelling inside of my battered soul, my fragile mind. My eyes water up as I attempt to close them but I just can not find the willpower to do anything except cry.

And I only know I'm crying because I can't breath still; I'm drowning in my own tears.

Then I begin to hyperventilate.

At first, I can not wrap my mind about where the water evaporated to, but then I realize I am in the air. Floating above a thick, slushy black goo, my limps dangle for a grasp on anything.

I wish I could get a grip on my life a little better.

Instead, my eyes linger on the thick oil-like substance below. It swishes back and forth like waves crashing atop of a sandy beach. What it is crashing into, I have no idea nor do I want to find out.

Then it stops.

And I stop breathing again.

That might be because any air making its way to my lungs is knocked out at impact. Someone hit me, whether on purpose for pain or as a wake-up call, I am not sure.

I just never knew nightmares could seem so real, yet make no sense at all.

x

My eyes open and my hand wipes away the beads of sweat forming on my forehead before anyone has time to do anything.

A name - my name, I presume - is spoken so softly I barely hear it. But I do feel the pity and fake empathy in the voice. My feet pick me up off the couch we were watching a boring movie on and I follow them right out of the door.

Live a normal life, my uncle said. Try to rebuild what has been shattered and preserve what is left. He told us ninja that we should, and I quote, Help fix the damage caused by evil as we give the battles a rest.

Yet there is always a flaw in the system; always have been and always will be.

There is a battle that never finishes, no matter how hard I try.

The nightmares never go away. My insides never stop fearing what comes next. Darkness fills my mind with awful memories.

I am only a child, forced into this life.

I did not ask my father to grow into the man he once was nor did I ask to defeat an overlord possessing him.

I am too far away to be a nuisance to my fellow ninja with my pesky emotions and discarded family issues. The bikes just begin to roar alive when I am about a mile off, sheltering in a dark alley. I know it won't be long until I am found. After all, it's four well trained ninja against a kid in a green gi. I just need some time to think by myself; maybe stop a small crime or two.

Gracefully as I can, I scale the closest building and force myself over the edge to sit on the top. My legs swing over the ledge as I exhale a deep breath. Gloved fingertips curl around the tip of the concrete and I let my legs swing, kicking softly onto the wall.

"What did you get yourself into, Lloyd?" I mutter to myself. Letting my eyes close slowly, images flash through my brain. Awful memories that shaped me into the man I am today - if you can even refer to me as a man, I'm not so sure anymore.

I am forced to open my eyes at the familiar sound of an engine being overlapped by Jay's voice. I hurl myself fully onto the roof, laying on my stomach to conceal myself from the streets below.

I am not quite ready to return just yet.

"I swear I saw him going this direction," Jay speaks.

"Guess not anymore," replies Zane.

I never thought I would be on this side again; I didn't think I would still have the potential to hide from the only ones who care about me. I don't want to seem like a bad guy.

I need to keep moving in order to get my mind off of him-

-him with the purple eyes and the dark soul, who could use my father like a puppet in a long time made plan to take over the city while still dormant.

Now, I am not green. I am gold. But I don't feel any better.

The buildings I scale across are broken. Only the structural frame - the skeleton - remains for most of them. Many of the homes are being completely rebuilt. Because they were destroyed; because he destroyed them. And I destroyed him.

I'm lucky enough to find handholds in order to keep myself from crashing to the ground.

My eyes scan across the almost bare landscape. Off in the distance I see lights flicker on; people in houses preparing for the night, I guess. Then I pause and look again. I blink until I know I am not dreaming. The lights are shaped like an L.

As in...Lloyd?

I quickly count the bright lights; more then six so I know it can't be the ninja and Wu.

I shrug it off and look away, turning my head down at the ground. Maybe it's just a coincidence.

None of that matters at much as what is happening on the floor: a police car swerves by, drifting down the street. I follow it without hesitation.

My feet silently drop onto the ground as I begin running after the vehicle. I do not get very far before the car freezes and a policeman hopes out, gun pointed shakily at a small corner store. I throw my hands up to the man before cautiously entering the shop. "Don't shoot," I demand, looking over my shoulder. "Stay back and do not shoot."

I do not see a reaction; my head swivels into the store, pulling my mask over my head.

My eyes quickly shoot to the corner where six civilians are tied up. A man is standing above them, wearing all black - a gun pointed at a child's head.

"Woah," I mutter silently to myself. Then louder: "Hey, there-"

"Back the hell up," the armed man spits. He lets his head roll, eyes following shortly after at the gears in his head connecting who I am. "God, you gotta be kidding me. You?"

I dont respond, so he continues. "The one with all mighty powers, huh? Where'd your daddy go, boy? Did he leave you for another overlord-?"

"Shut up."

"Excuse me?" he questions, pointing the gun at me. "Did I crack a nerve? You getting emotional?"

He shifts the gun to his left and shoots a bullet at the glass window; it shatters within a second. I flinch and someone screams.

"Your lovely father ruined this town again, Lloyd," he says, "but this time he took more than just my home."

For a split second I see a raw emotion of sadness flicker in the man's eyes. He does what I would do: hides it. "I'm sorry," I begin, "but you don't have to shoot anyone."

"Nah, I won't," he spits, head motioning behind me. "But he will."

I don't have time to get out of the way before the sound erupts and pain sizzles throughout my body. Even if I did manage to dip out of range, the bullet would have impaled a civilian. I begin to wonder why my leg is burning instead of my chest. Then it hits me: my leg was shot.

I wasn't being aimed at to kill. I was being aimed at to make immobile and in pain. When I lean against the shelf in an attempt to take weight off of my bad leg, I realize this was all a plan to make a point. To hurt a famously legendary ninja, son of the once possessed lord who time and time again, ruins Ninjago.

Now the pair can basically walk out of the corner store unharmed into the rush of police.

But they know better and run up the fire exit to take a back way. I limp over to the tied up civilians, silently hoping the other ninja are still around. I fall to the floor as the knot is finally undone.

A woman cradles me in her arms protectivly like she can heal me for a second before I push away. "I'm fine," I lie. "Just help me stand."

My gi is changing colors. It begins to look like Kai's. My whole body is sweating. My vision is swirling.

Now standing up and using the woman as support, I make my way out of the store. Immediately, local forces run up to attend to wounds and such.

I test my legs so I can hold myself up properly before letting go of the kind lady, giving a nod. Then I freeze up at the hand placed upon my shoulder.

"Oh, son," a voice begins. "You are bleeding; let's get you some help."

I turn around and face the officer. Then I can not move. I can't do anything accept push his hand off of my and spit out three words of: "Don't touch me."

"I'm sorry, son, but you seem to be loosing a fair amount of blood to that bullet wound."

"I'm fine," I repeat. "Do not touch me."

I can't deal with it. I just can not have these emotions backed up for any longer. What a bad choice of words to refer to me as "son".

"Please," the medic starts, throwing his hands up in the air defensively as if to walk me back to safety, "let us take you to the-"

"No," I interrupt coldly, my voice beginning to raise. "No I am not going anywhere and stop touching me!"

The ground shakes under me and for a second, I think it was because of my voice. I look behind the medic to see Cole, just standing up from a quaking punch to the ground. At the same time, I notice the rest of my team file out from behind view. I connect eyes with Nya.

I look away first. I stare at my feet as the others begin to walk towards me. And ow, the burning sensation in my leg is killing me but I turn around and push myself to run away.

My name is being yelled again but I do not look back. At I pick up speed, running on adrenaline, I dash into a near by alley. Using all upper body strength left inside of me, I grip the ladder hanging down and pull myself up.

"Lloyd."

"Can't you see I want to be alone?"

"Lloyd, you're dying. Physically and emotionally."

"I'm fine," I breath, wanting nothing more than to dip into the metal fire exit I am laying on.

"You have a bullet in your leg and all you've been thinking about lately is the Overlord."

"How do-"

"Lloyd." Nya pauses. "Lloyd, we're your family. You're a ninja - not a liar."

I open my mouth to decline the truth a few more times, but the rest of the ninja's faces enter my view again. The looks on their faces hit me harder than reality. And so I run. I follow the hills into the lights still flickering into the distance. My sweaty hands grab the ladder above me and I swing up once more, using my momentum to climb up the side of the building.

A groan escapes my lips as I finally reach the top, rolling more to the middle of the building. I sit up straight, a hand hesitantly hovering over the wound in my leg. My head swivels to the left. I blink away the tears forming in my eyes to look at the lights flashing closer to me. And closer. And then the whole city is lit up in a wave of color. The night disappears for a moment as a throw a hand over my eyes.

Then all the light, at once, shines out and the world is engulfed into the pitch blackness of the daring night.

Below me, I hear one of the ninja - Kai? - yelp something. Then at about one per second, a light flickers on, leading off to a path. They start under me and continue off onto the distance where I have yet to travel. I tell myself not to follow the trail, but my feet have already started moving. And I stumble.

My leg is slowly losing strength, weakening my whole body. It doesn't pick me up like I thought it would and my elbows slide shortly against the tough roof. My gi stops me from getting all scraped up but I can still feel the pain through the hole in my leg. My head has a little bit of rebound as my eyes can see the crowded street below. I feel like I cant breath - either that, or I'm breathing too heavily and quick to realize I am getting any air.

Then there are people crowding around me. And I can't see any of their bodies, just the voices trapping me.

"We gotta get him home-"

"How?"

"What do you mean-"

"-he's our brother-"

"-can't leave him-"

"There's so much blood."

I know.

It's dark again.

I think my breath skips a few beats.

Actually, it did. I think I passed out. All I remember is blurry lights and panic. When I wake up I am back inside of Wu's new school. My leg is throbbing.

"Hey."

Oh my God.

"You...okay?"

No, no, I am not okay. No, I do not feel fine. There is a hole in my leg and I dont know anything except for the darkness. All of my thoughts linger in the awful side of my mind and I cant shake that feeling that there is someone watching me through the lights. I feel as if something is terrible wrong, but I dont know what. Maybe I'm just scarred with power. Then comes the thought that I should not have been the green ninja; I should not have been the one who defeated my father time again. Only because I am weak and I cant not deal with the aftermath of the trauma.

I can not deal with the last look his purple eyes burned into my soul as the city was covered in darkness.

"I've been better," I reply.

Cole inhales and looks down at his feet for a moment. "Are you sure?" he asks, eyes beginning to slowly trail back up.

"Yeah," I begin, "it's just everything is moving so fast."

The earth ninja chuckles a laugh. "You're right about that one," he says. "But y'know your still the baby of the group, yeah?"

"Jay's the shortest though."

"But you're the youngest - mentally, and you've went through a lot," answers Cole.

"I-"

"I don't know how you do it sometimes," mumbles Cole.

I am taken back for a second. "What?"

"When my mom died, and my father kept pushing me into music to cope," Cole begins, "that was...it still leaves an awful taste in my mouth."

"Oh."

"And well, you still stay so strong," continues Cole. "Are you sure you are okay?'

"I have nightmares."

Cole did not hesitate - he wasnt even phased. "Me too."

"I get then almost every night and I cant figure out what they even mean."

I took the earth ninja's silence as a reason to continue telling him what has been bothering me. "I mean, yeah, it's cool being the leader of a secret ninja force, but there are things in my life that weigh it down. And not just the fact that my dad was...yknow..." I shurg. "Its more towards the fact that I'm just...different."

"We're all different somehow, Lloyd," responds Cole.

"I know, I know," I say. "But I missed out on half of my childhood, and I had to fullfill this role laid upon me without choice." I pause to take a breath. "And everyday. Everyday, Cole, I think if I defeated that freaking Overlord or he's just waiting in the shadows."

"Lloyd, I'm sure-"

"Did you see the lights?"

"What?"

"The lights and how they-"

"All flickered," answers the earth ninja, shocked. "You dont think..?"

I force my eyes to close. "I dont even want to hear you say it."

"We have to tell the others."

"What? Cole, no," I say, "We cant tell anyone - its just an idea. I havent even grown past him yet."

"Lloyd."

"This stays between us and only us," I say harshly. "Not even Wu. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, but-" he begins.

"Cole, I swear to the first spinjitzu master, keep your mouth shut. Please."

"Okay," he answers. I watch the ideas and situations flicker through his mind, through his eyes. "Okay, I will." He stands up and points to the door. "I -uh- I gotta go. Ill see you tomorrow. Feel better."

And he leaves.

And I am left alone to wonder.

Wonder if maybe it could be the Overlord somehow, in the lights. But then I wipe that thought away because I defeated him with light. It wouldnt make sense, but yet again...when has anything in Ninjago?

Right now, I tell myself, I just need to heal and worry about my team; consequences later. I just need to keep my team alive as they look out for me. I need to build abetter relationship with my father.

But I need to get past the roadblock of him.

Maybe later, though, because my vision is fading dark. Im scared for a moment before i realize im in a hospital, save and sound.

I just hope the nightmares can hold off.

This is a one-shot taking part in a Lloyd Project from tumblr.

I got the prompt of Lloyd after season two, before season three with the Overlord...so, yep. The idea of this project was to show how each person sees Lloyd as differently. So I went with the route of: still a child who has so much weight on his shoulders and deals with past events badly.

I hope you enjoyed!