Maddy shut the door behind her and sagged with relief. It didn't last long. Rhydian had tried to hide it, but she could tell. He had been hurt that she had said she couldn't spend time with him.
She sank onto the edge of her bed, buried her face in her hands and tried not to give into the tears.
That was the problem.
She and Rhydian had already spent too much time together.
The following morning the K's were grating on her nerves.
"You're looking really pale, Maddy" Katrina said, leaning back in her chair and ignoring her history coursework. "You can borrow some of my bronzing powder if you like."
Maddy shook her head, and stared unseeingly at the textbook in front of her.
Kay took over, "Just because you've done the chasing, it doesn't mean you can stop making any effort. Look at her," she said, gesturing at one of the celebrity magazines they had already been warned against reading during school hours. "It's no wonder he cheated."
She had to stand then, couldn't help it. Mr Jefferies looked up at her, expectantly, but Maddy just made for the door, didn't wait for permission,
"I'm sorry. I need to go to the bathroom."
Maddy let her forehead rest against the cool glass of the mirror, willing the nausea to subside and her stomach to stop churning.
It couldn't be happening. Not now, not here.
There were footsteps behind her, the sound of a bag dropping to the floor. She hoped they weren't going to ask questions, she wasn't in the right frame of mind to deal with it.
"I brought your stuff for you."
It was Shannon. Maddy smiled, weakly, and turned to face her.
"You look awful," Shannon said bluntly before she had chance to voice her thanks, though moved to put her arm round her, "If I were you I'd go back to bed, Maddy."
Rhydian came to sit with her without her asking, and he was so sweet, and so concerned, that she couldn't find it in her to ask to be left alone again. She briefly wondered if he was finding it difficult to reign in his playful side - they were usually so dynamic and energetic together... he must have seen straight through her. He always did.
"Can I get you anything?" he asked, softly, like he was afraid of being too loud and hurting her, and it made her curl into her pillows. He was too young to deal with this, too inexperienced. Too confused. They both were.
Eventually Rhydian stopped fussing, choosing instead to hold her hand and stroke her hair while Maddy rested her head against his shoulder and pressed her face into his neck..
That had been how it had all started. Gentle, barely there, touches, and chaste kisses. He hadn't known what he was doing, she could tell, at least beyond the barest bones of the theory, and she could have put a stop to it before it went too far. The thought struck her that she should have.
"Are you sure you're alright?" he asked.
She managed a smile, and didn't let it slip until he had stepped out into the corridor. It was too late now; there was no point in beating herself up over it.
Maddy was used to keeping secrets. To making up stories to explain why she couldn't go with her friends to the cinema, or after school clubs, when really she needed to be at home looking after her parents on the full moon. To pretending to be something she wasn't. But she'd never had to lie to Rhydian about anything. She confided in him daily.
It surprised her that it was relief she felt when somebody finally saw through her.
"Anything you say to me will stay within this office," Miss Fitzgerald told her and, though she was mortified, Maddy started crying.
"Have you been to a doctor?" She was asked, because it was the obvious first question, and Maddy shook her head and soaked through another tissue. She couldn't. They would want to know too much, and they would look for her medical records and, and that didn't bear thinking about. Aloud she said,
"I know. It's been months. I can't button my shirt."
"Have you decided what you're going to do?" the teacher asked, softly, because this wasn't the first time she'd had a girl in tears in her office over this news, and it wouldn't be the last, unfortunately.
Maddy shook her head and cried harder still.
Rhydian was so happy that Maddy was talking to him normally again that she felt guilty, and averted her gaze when she had shut the door behind him.
This was how it had been, awkward and just a little embarrassing, especially in the aftermath when he had tried to act like it hadn't been new to him, and she hadn't wanted to shatter his illusions.
"I have to tell you something," she managed, the words quiet.
It was the right thing to do, even if she was terrified. She'd blamed him so many times for mistakes that may have been not his own doing . Who's fault would it be this time?
"What's that?" Rhydian asked, tone light and joking. "You're not throwing me over for Dean Samuels, are you?"
"I'm pregnant," she blurted, because there was no better way to say it.
Rhydian's face dropped and she heard him swallowing.
"Are you sure?" he asked, rhetorically. "Is it mine? No, sorry, I didn't mean that."
Maddy shut her eyes, wished for it all to be over.
She startled at the touch of fingers to her shoulder, opened her eyes to see Rhydian standing before her. He looked pale, paler than usual, but he was holding his head high, and his jaw was set in determination.
"I don't know how it will work, what exactly will happen. But we're in this together, because you're my best friend and whatever you decide to do I'll support you."
It hadn't been what she had been expected. Perhaps she hadn't given him enough credit.
"Really?" She whispered, because she hadn't even decided yet what she was going to do about it. Rhydian took her hand, squeezed it, and nodded,
"I mean it."