Title: The Evil of Storks

Author: SatinSatire

Rating: PG 13

Pairing: Dean/Bela

Disclaimer: Kripke owns the Supernatural characters.

Summary: What if Bela had not been irredeemable and she and Dean had a one night stand? The results could be interesting - and humorous - to say the least. AU.

Sam Winchester was trying to work. The room he was using as a library was beautiful with its large open space and plush, comfortable chairs. The laptop sitting on the polished wood desk was all he could dream of, and more. Yet every time he attempted to write his statement of purpose for his school application, he was unable to think due to the noisy "discussion" occurring on the other side of the door.

"You are NOT naming any child of mine Arthur Talbot," Dean Winchester said clearly, so clearly Sam might as well have been in the middle of his brother and the woman carrying the newest member of the family.

Bela sniffed disdainfully. "Arthur Talbot is a perfectly fine and proper name."

"Oh, sure. Perfectly fine, if you want the kid to be beat up his first day of kindergarten. Seriously, Arthur? You might as well put a "kick me" sign on the kid's diaper!" He paused, then added, "And the last name is Winchester."

"Talbot. And if the child is anything like you, I would expect him to be expelled within days of beginning kindergarten. Also, you are assuming that the baby is a boy. You don't know that. It could be a girl. Though you would probably want to name her something brilliant like Leia or Impala. Oh god. I shouldn't give you ideas!"

"We would know if the baby is a boy or girl, except someone wants it to be a surprise." Dean made a face at her. "I wouldn't name my daughter Impala." Then he grinned. "Guess you won't know what I name our kid, cause you'll be so out of it after giving birth you'd probably sign anything…"

Bela narrowed her eyes. "You would take advantage of that! You are so…"

"Amazing? Handsome, witty, and utterly beyond compare?" Dean supplied with a satisfied smirk. "Temper, temper. I think it's you now that has to mind your blood pressure." The smirk faded into a gentle smile as he looked at her stomach, his expression relaxed and reverent.

She blamed the hormones, because there was no way otherwise that she'd have allowed him to get the last word in. It only made sense that she would feel an urge to bond with the father of her child, she told herself. It wasn't anything more than that.

"My temper and my blood pressure are fine," she informed him haughtily. She paused, and then looked at him with an expression of such saccharine sweetness that Dean lost his smug sense of triumph and began to get nervous. "Oh, and love?"

"What?" he asked cautiously, not trusting the sly gleam in her eyes.

"Be sure and change Sphinx's litter box today," she told him sweetly. "I can't do it. It would be bad for the baby's health and all. Thank you, dear." She turned and smugly ascended the stairs, leaving him looking disgusted.

Dean furrowed his brow a moment, then turned and looked speculatively at the closed door not ten feet away from him. "Hey Sam—"

"NO, Dean, so don't even try to ask!" Sam loved his brother dearly, but Dean had made his bed with Bela and now would have to do penance.

As he leaned back in his seat, hands poised to type over the keyboard, he couldn't help wondering if perhaps storks were in league with demons in order to bring mischief and misfortune among unwitting horndogs like Dean – and lamented the loss of the Colt once more. But, at least it was quiet now.

Sam resumed typing.