Recovery is Just a State of Mind
Prologue
Disclaimer: The usual, I don't own. Blah Blah Blah. This is the only chapter I'm writing it.
Author's note: So I saw a lot of myself and my own struggle with loss in Eli and a lot of myself in Claire- at another point in my life altogether. I thought I should put in some background for Eli. We know next to nothing about him and a lot of my own personal past shaped me.
"Eliiii! Baaaby! Your brother really knows how to throw a good party!" the black haired beauty yelled stumbling into my car-clearly drunk and it became apparent from her scent that she had been smoking also and was high. Anger filled me. What is this some type of joke? We were visiting family and she was fucking my brother? Was Eddie trying to fuck with me? I was going to kill him. And she was going to have to get the fuck away from me. NOW. Before I hit her or did something I regret. I'm done.
"Is that so, Julia?" I said quite calmly, surprising myself. "We came up here to visit family and you decide to go sleep with my brother and get fucked up with him! How do you think that makes me look Julia! Huh?"
"I just went to have a good time and all you ever do is worry about how you look to your family. Afraid to disappoint mommy? All I ever do is talk about how you don't know what you want or who you are and I'm so done, Elijah!" she slurred out, making sure she said my full name nice and slow, "Maybe if we could have a normal weekend without you being all down and depressed, I wouldn't fuck around with your brother. Huh? Ever think of that?"
I was pretty sure that there was fire coming out of my nostrils when she said that. She knew that I was in treatment. I had been in therapy for months at this point. Our best friend had died of liver failure not too long ago. Well it had been a year. Everybody seemed to forget about her. I wouldn't let myself do that. Ever. She knew that it was going to take a while before I was normal. Before I felt like laughing again. What was wrong with her? Wasn't Taylor her friend too? Didn't she watch her die in that hospital the same as he did? Her liver and kidneys giving out as they watched? Then her other organs following. I couldn't let her talk about this with me; especially since she was drunk. I would snap and probably hit her. I felt like she was just hurting Taylor. "GO SLEEP IN EDDIE'S BED THEN IF HE'S SO GREAT!" I screamed at her and pointed to the door. She pushed me too far. I couldn't go on like this and we both knew it.
"Fuck you, Elijah. Maybe I will." she said glaring at me as her hand reached for the door and she slipped out. I shouldn't have let her go. I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I looked up and a huge red Ford SUV came and slammed right into her. It hit her and just kept going. I just sat there numb for three minutes. Then it finally hit me, I needed to do something. Anything. But was there anything that could be done. She was already unconscious and there was a puddle of her blood on the street. All I could do was shake and sob for a good ten minutes before I called 911-even though I knew it was too late.
"What is your emergency?" the emergency operator asked me over the phone.
"I need an ambulance. There was a hit and run and my girlfriend-she isn't breathing. She was hit."
It finally hit me, in the finally moments of her life, Julia hated me and she died…because of me.