"We're third years! somehow we did it! Can you believe it!" I yelled motivated. "Actually Ijona our writer is reluctant to let the walking scenery and pedophile's dream child leave, so we're staying second years for a while," said the love of my life. "What!" "It's fine and it works out to. With Mori and Honny around we won't have to hunt for new hosts to take their place, although this means our snack bill will be just as high as ever, and that means you'll have to sell more merchandise than usual, plus..." he rambled off into his calculator. Kyoya I love you... But holding me back a year means we can't get married since I'm not old enough...

Chapter 1

Well I guess I should sum up what's been going on? Last year I transferred into the Ouran academy for the super rich and beautiful. Major events? Haruhi is a girl, Tamaki and I are total girl friends, we go shopping all the time, my mom is out of the hospital, and after escaping death twice, I flew over puking my brains out to America to stop Kyoya from getting married to a witch, and now we are engaged... Against my father's will. seems okay with it but you never know with him.

Right now I'm in my room putting on my uniform. My hair has finally grown out too! Well it's an inch past my shoulders but still, I'm a girl again! "Ijona!" the door swung open to the sight of a smoky haired woman, with huge breasts, a tight button up blouse, and way too much makeup. "Morning Mom! So uhhh what are you doing?" she had come up behind me and started glomping me, then I noticed her face was covered in flour and curry and stuff. "I'm showing my love for my daughter! You're so cute!" Ever since Shes come home this has been a habit, dont get me wrong I'd rather this over her coma any day... But... Her double D's make me sad... Measly 32B.

I stumble down the stairs with my mother glued to my back. "Morning dearests!" And there's my skippy dad! "Morning dad..." can't... Breath! She jumped off, "Well schools starting soon so head off! Mummy's gonna try to cook something!" ... Mom... In the kitchen... "OH GOD DAD RUN! BYE!" by the time I was out the door a black cloud of explosion followed me. Just made it!

Traveling!

Out the car door and up the steps! A white mess of buildings and pillars with a rose bush maze. That was nothing compared to the blindingly sexy second year male student, the sun caught in his raven hair! That's right my fiancé Kyoya Freaking Otori! He stood There with that money grubbing smile that I had grown to love.

Next to him was my goofy best friend, that my dad totally wishes I was engaged to instead of Kyoya, Tamaki Suoh! after I walked up to them Kyoya greeted me the way a true lover would! That's right he pulled out his black notebook and said, "So we should plan the club events, cosplay, the tea, the tea sets, and deserts." okay so not exactly what one would expect. I mean I haven't seen him since the bonus story! ...whatever...

Haruhi had come up to us now, still a boy, carried by the shoulders by the twins. They set her down, "Sigh, I really wish you two would just-" she was cut off by Tamaki who jumped on her, "Haruhi!" "GAH Tamaki!" "Morning boys!" I greeted the twins. "Morning Toy Freak." "oh wow my first nickname! I'm so happy!" I grinned. I felt a dark shadow behind me, when I turned around Kyoya was just writing in his book. I faced the twins again who were cowering and they said, "Oh sorry morning Ijona..." "Uh hi?"

We left to head off to class, you know after we pulled Tamaki off of Haruhi. Weirdly enough the Tamaki fan girls are super nice to me now, they're very chatty. We always end up talking about Tamaki for some reason? Oh well I think they're finally warming up to me! "Hey Kyoya my mom's been dying to meet you. Can you come over after school?" "Yeah I don't see why not? In fact I'm interested to see what she's like?" "okay just don't eat any of her cooking." "why not?" "just dont or you'll be in a coma for the next year and a half."

"I'd like to come along too, I want to know what she's like," said Tamaki. "yeah! She'll be so happy!" I smiled. Hosting time! So they weren't entertaining girls today, we were just deciding on what to do this year. "Pirates! You guys have to be pirates! Tamaki you can sit on top of a pile of gold and Steal their hearts! Just don't call them wenches, not cool," I said. "A pile of gold? Not in our budget," said Kyoya. I looked into his shining frames with wide pleading eyes. He pushed his glasses up, "Well... I guess... If it's just this once. I mean we've done a tropical paradise what's a pile of gold?" "yes!" Tamaki and I cheered. "Kyoya," "really is a pushover," "when it comes to Ijona," said the twins. Mori and Honny nodded agreeingly. Kyoya glared at them.

We decided on what teas, tea sets, cosplay, budget, outings, and a long... Long list of other things. But now we're done and in my limo heading home! "Oh yeah guys one more thing," I said. They looked over. "My mom has the tendency," I was cut off when the car door swung open to my mother glomping both boys. "to glomp..." I quietly finished. "Ijona! Are these two boys your friends! Theyre both so handsom!" she dragged them out of the car and started flailing them around. I quietly stepped out of the car when she threw Kyoya at me and we fell back into the car. She pressed Tamaki's face to her bust, "This must be Kyoya! He's even more handsome than you said!" she pressed his face in so far he lost his breath and then her buttons snapped at the top.

"Mom!" I yelled. "What? I was just showing love to your boyfriend." she let him go, her blouse still hanging open. She leant over, smiling mischievously, and pointed her finger at me, "He's so cute! You know I might try to steal him from you." "That's not my boyfriend. That's Tamaki, this is Kyoya," I gestured to him. "He's your boyfriend? Yeah he's pretty hot too! Wait your juggling two guys at once! And they know! Giiiiiirl you've got skills!" "Mom... What did you drink?" "What? I was just making a wine sauce or whatever and had a bottle... Or two." "Mom go fix your shirt. We'll meet you in the living room." "Okee Doki!" she skipped into the house after stepping on Tamaki.

"I'm sorry..." "It's... Fine... Go check on Tamaki," said Kyoya. I ran over to the nose bleeding blond on the ground. I put one of his arms around my shoulder and dragged him into the house and set him on the couch. "Tamaki... Tamaki... Wake up!" I whispered. Kyoya set me aside and assured me he'd handle it. Kyoyas part of a medical family so I'm sure he knows what he's doing. Kyoya raised his hand and smacked Tamaki's face so hard, his whole upper body fell off of the couch. "Gah!" Tamaki was still out cold. "Here why dont I call the Family doctor. He lives in the house to watch over mom so he'll be here any second..." I said picking up the house phone.

"No need, he'll be up eventually," Kyoya said slapping Tamaki over and over again. I put down the phone, "Kyoya! You can't do that!" I yelled trying to get him to stop. "Don't worry I know what I'm doing!" he huffed. "Kyoya! Why!" "Are you kidding I've been waiting to beat the crap out of him since we met!" "Kyoya you can't!" "why not!" "If you damage his face... YOU CAN'T MAKE ANYMORE MONEY OFF OF HIM!" Kyoya stopped, "That Is true... This idiot is lucky he's the host king."

after that a Handsome doctor walked in. He had a sort of a lumber jack beard, thin rimmed spectacles, slicked back brown hair, a lab coat, and a bag of doctor things I knew nothing about! "Ah Dr. Sekushi! Hey Uh can you help my friend? My mom glomped him... And you know he got slapped... A few times..." "Yes no problem. Your father Had the same problem this morning, his Miss Heikin got drunk and slapped him a few times when she forgot he was her husband," chuckled the Doctor. "Ok? So you can fix him?" "Yes, just give me a minute. I'll wake him up first and then fix his face." "that's great!" I said. The doctor pulled out a rubber glove and slapped Tamaki's face, "huh that usually does the trick?" "Are you kidding!" I yelled. "Yes of course," he smiled. Crazy doctor... He pulled out some smelling salts and Tamaki woke up, "Woah why does my face hurt so much?"