Simply He

by Lilliann Starman

It is supposed to be a blessing that she is the only female of the Weasley clan, something she grew up hearing. And yet, Ginny Weasley doesn't feel like a girl. Brief drabble about how being Trans can affect a whole life.

When she was younger, her mother would make a big deal over her. Always trying to raise the perfect daughter, always trying to make her into the wizarding world's idea of a woman. That was why she hated the wizarding world sometimes.

When she first started puberty, she was confused. Her body was developing in different ways then her brothers. Her mother sat her down and the first words out of her mouth made Ginny wish she were dead.

"You're turning into a young woman now," her mother had beamed, and hugged her. Ginny had sat there- numb and practically lifeless in her arms. She'd wanted to shout- "but I'm a BOY!", but that would have hurt her mother's feelings and Ginny didn't want that. So she stayed silent and listened as her mum described what would happen to her. Every word, every realization of what was to come felt like a betrayal from her own body.

When her breasts started to develop, she stole a knife from the kitchen and used her wand to sharpen it as much as possible. Then she lifted the knife to her chest and tried to cut herself. It hurt, it hurt so much! She cried, and cried. But she stayed quiet and tried to finish her job. She couldn't, and there was so much blood, and she hurt too much! Her knife slipped and she ended up cutting her arm by accident. The next morning her mum found the cut and flipped. Ginny said nothing about the bandages under her shirt.

When she first began to date Harry Potter, she became even more depressed. Even though most people only saw the person she pretended to be (the Quidditch player, the younger sister, the fiery student), Harry saw through her act and asked her what was wrong. But she loved him too much, and he became another person she couldn't tell for fear of hurting them.

When Harry told her he loved her, and that she was the only girl for him she broke down for days after he went after the horcruxes. After that, she was just tired. Even though she had only lived for 16 years, she was tired, so very incredibly tired.

And she was tired of lying. To herself, her family, the man she loved. But she was terrified: of how much it would hurt her mother, tear her family, and... She knew she would lose Harry. If Harry found out, he wouldn't want to be with Ginny, and Ginny would just be another freak in the crowds.

He didn't want that.