The Time When Coulson Found Out About His Cards

"Agent Hill, is it true?"

"Coulson, you have to look at -"

He folded his arms. "Is it true?" he repeated.

She sighed. "You have to talk to the director about it. I'm staying out of this."

Coulson found Nick Fury in his office. "Sir, may I have a word with you?"

The director nodded and pointed at the chair in front of his desk. "Have a seat."

"I'd rather stand, sir, if it's all the same to you."

Fury raised an eyebrow. "Is there something bothering you, Agent Coulson?"

"Sir, I've heard a disturbing rumor."

"If it's anything Stark has said, you know that man only lives with one foot in reality."

"No, sir. It was Captain Rogers."

Fury closed his laptop. "Cap told you a rumor?"

"Not exactly, sir. He showed me my trading cards."

There was a very long pause.

"My formerly near-mint trading cards."

Another long pause.

"That are now ruined, sir."

Fury still said nothing.

"Sir, those cards took me years to collect. I got the last one - this one," he said, pulling the card depicting a saluting Captain America obscured by a deep maroon smear of dried blood out of his pocket and tossing it on the desk, "a mere three days before Captain Rogers arrived."

Fury steepled his fingers and waited.

"Now I'm going to have to see if I can find these again, which isn't a sure thing because this set is over sixty-five years old. What do you have to say for yourself, sir?"

"They needed the push, Coulson."

Coulson looked at the irreparably damaged card, then sighed. "Yes, sir. They did."

There was a knock at the door, and the collected Avengers piled into the office, led by Tony and Steve.

"Sure, come on in," Fury said sardonically.

"Agent Coulson," Tony said, blithely ignoring the director, "we felt that we owed you something for the … assistance you provided in giving our collective ass the kick it needed. And now that you're feeling better and are back at work-"

Coulson turned. "Stark, I said that as soon as everything is back to normal, I'll consider the trip to Portland."

"No, that's not it." He turned to Steve. "Cap, do you have something for the long-suffering agent?"

Steve grinned. "I sure do." He pulled a small box out of his jacket pocket. "We-"

"'We'?" Stark chuckled. "You still haven't figured out how to work the internet."

"'We', as in 'this is from all of us'," Steve said, rolling his eyes, "got you a present." He held out the box.

Coulson took it. "This isn't really necessary," he said as he opened the lid. "I was just doing my …." He trailed off into silence as he looked into the box. "You got me new cards?"

"It was Thor's idea. Natasha called in a few favors, I hit up a memorabilia collector I know, Bruce and Hawkeye went to pick them all up, and Cap-"

"You signed them," Coulson said, setting the box down and holding up a completely unblemished, autographed, saluting Captain America card.

"Well, things went all crazy before I got a chance to last time, so I figured it was the least I could do," Steve smiled. "After all, I was pretty much no help when it came to acquiring the cards."

"I … don't really know what to say," Coulson said. "Thank you. All of you." He looked at Nick Fury. "Sir, I say this with the utmost respect and in all seriousness - if you touch these cards, I may have to break regulations."

"Understood, Agent Coulson."

"Come on, Coulson," Tony said. "We're all going out for lunch, and then you and I are going to Portland."