One morning, Spongebob woke up to the sound of his alarm clock screaming at him.
"HEY! GET UP, YOU FOOL! I'M TIRED OF WAITING! THEY DON'T PAY ME ENOUGH FOR THIS NONSENSE!" the alarm clock yelled.
"Umm...no one pays you at all, right?" Spongebob replied.
"EXACTLY!" the alarm clock yelled. "NOW GET TO WORK!"
Spongebob woke up and patted Gary's shell. Gary meowed, then went back to nibbling on Spongebob's carpet. Spongebob swung the door open so excitedly that it almost left a mark on the wall, before sliding down his crooked wobbly staircase.
Spongebob went to the bathroom to take a shower. As he washed, he grabbed his beloved soap bar. The lubricated, slimy soap bar slipped from his grip, ricocheted off of every wall, floor and ceiling in the room, and hit him in the eye.
"NO! Not the soap! OH GOD NO NOT THE SOAP! AAAAAAAAAAA! OH, it's in my eyes! MY EYES! AAAAAAAAAAA! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
THREE MINUTES LATER...
Spongebob finally finished screaming, turned the shower off, and went to the mirror. Suddenly, the mirror cracked.
"Aw, cockamamie barnacles..." Spongebob groaned.
Spongebob had a huge zit on his face! He took some painkiller, cut the zit off with a clean pair of humongous garden scissors, and applied zit-removing toothpaste to the remaining zit area. After the zit faded away, Spongebob took the remaining toothpaste off of his forehead and used it to brush his teeth.
"Now that's what I call a nice set of pearly whites if I do say so myself." Spongebob said, smiling.
Spongebob put on his Goofy Goober underwear, put his work pants on, and walked into the kitchen to get some cereal. As he poured the cereal, a prize spilled out of the box.
"Oh, a prize!" Spongebob exclaimed. "I wonder what this is?"
Spongebob realized that it was a time bomb! "In case of emergency, break glass!" Spongebob remembered out loud. He grabbed one of his decorative rocks and tossed it into the window, breaking the glass. Then, he used his Goofy Goober underwear as a powerful slingshot, slinging the bomb straight through the window.
Unfortunately, the bomb blew up Squidward's flower garden and damaged Squidward's house. "Spongebob! I'll get you for that someday! Just you wait! You brain-dead flunkie! You wouldn't know how to appreciate another man's property if it smacked you upside the head!" Suqidward yelled.
"Oh, I'm very sorry, Squidward. Is there any way I could make it up to you?" Spongebob asked.
"Since when have you done ANYTHING good for ME?!" Squidward asked.
"Boy, don't you think that's a little harsh?" Spongebob asked.
"Enough small talk!" Squidward yelled. "I'm out of here! See you at work, you stupid piece of garbage! Ciao!"
AT THE KRUSTY KRAB...
Squidward was busy reading a magazine at the cash register. "GET BACK TO WORK!" Mr. Krabs yelled at the top of his lungs.
"Y-y-yes...master..." Squidward whimpered, almost wetting himself.
"MAN UP, LOSER!" Mr. Krabs yelled again.
Spongebob was busy flipping patties. Mr. Krabs came in and lectured him.
"Supply and demand, Spongebob...you flip patties. The customers eat them. It's an endless cycle. But if you break that cycle...THEN YOU'RE FIRED! NOW START COOKING THOSE PATTIES FASTER, BOY! THE ORDERS ARE COMING IN FAST! TIME IS MONEY! PICK UP THE PACE! NOW! DO YOU HEAR ME!?"
"Y-yes, Mr. Krabs..." Spongebob replied.
"I sure hope so..." Mr. Krabs replied, slamming the door.
DURING LUNCH BREAK...
"Boy, I sure am exhausted." Spongebob thought to himself. "My meanie boss pushes me way too hard. There should be more than one person doing the food service. I might be good enough to handle it on my own, but I need to breathe a little..."
Suddenly, Patrick busted through the door. "Hey, Spongebob! Do you know where I've been while you've been working your butt off?"
"Where?" Spongebob asked, gritting his teeth a little.
"On vacation at the Goofy Goober amusement park! Hee hee!" Patrick replied.
Spongebob grabbed Patrick by the shoulders and pulled Patrick's face toward his own. "You big fat cow! Why didn't you tell me you were going to that place, hmm?"
"Umm...well, I didn't think Mr. Krabs would let you take a break from your job, being the jerk that he is." Patrick replied.
"Actually, you have a good point there, my friend." Spongebob replied.
"Are you talking about me behind my back, Patrick?" Mr. Krabs asked.
"Uhh...NO! We were talking about that dork Squidward! Huh huh!" Patrick replied nervously.
"You better not have been talking about me..." Mr. Krabs replied menacingly.
Patrick burped and grinned absentmindedly, giggling. "So, uh...Spongebob? would you mind making a few more Krabby Patties for me?"
"But you just ate three!" Spongebob replied.
"Yeah I know but I'm still hungry! PLEEEASE?" Patrick whined.
Spongebob sighed. "Okay, okay, I won't let you down...no more patties though, you understand?"
"Huh? What did you say? I didn't hear you." Patrick replied.
"I SAID NO MORE PATTIES!" Spongebob yelled.
"Okay." Patrick replied.
FIVE MINUTES LATER...
"Gee whiz, Patrick! Would you kindly keep your mouth shut and chew a little more thoroughly? You don't want that delicious taste to go to waste now, do you?" Spongebob asked.
"I eat it fast because it tastes so good!" Patrick said with food in his mouth.
"But you're not even taking the time to savor the flavor!" Spongebob asked.
"Who cares about flavor? At least I have taste! Hee hee!" Patrick said, blowing his nose on a napkin and setting it down on top of Spongebob's napkin pile.
"If you had taste, you'd show some manners!" Spongebob yelled.
"You mean like a weenie? MAY I TAKE YOUR HAT, SIR? MAY I TAKE YOUR-"
"Okay, that's enough overrated memes for today." one of the customers said, covering Patrick's mouth.
"OVERRATED MEMES ARE MY LIFE!" Patrick yelled.
Spongebob grabbed Patrick by the shoulders again and stared right into his eyes angrily. "Patrick, would you please get these temper-tantrums under control? I'm quite frankly a tad sick of all this pointless incoherent babbling. Why, if I was President, I'd make it so that rambling on and on about pointless tripe is illegal! I'd make it so that gluttony is illegal! And I'd make it so that greed is illegal! I mean, what use does the world have for these big stupid jerks who only care about making money! I say 'to heck with them'! A true undersea democracy has no place for the pathetic likes of these miserable penny-pinchers! Why, A TRUE UNDERSEA DEMOCRACY THAT GUARANTEES THE FREEDOM OF ALL NATURAL-BORN CITIZENS AND IMMIGRANTS HAS NO PLACE FOR A GREEDY, SNIVELING SOCIOPATH LIKE MR. KRABS!"
Suudenly, Agent Tom Smith appeared. "WOULD YOU STOP TALKING ALREADY? JEEZ, YOU'RE SCARING MY BABY FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! YOU'RE LUCKY MR. KRABS DIDN'T HEAR YOU TWO IDIOTS OVER THE MUSIC HE WAS PLAYING AT FULL BLAST IN HIS OFFICE! NOW GET LOST BEFORE I REPORT YOUR MAJOR DISTURBANCE IN THE DAILY SCHEDULE! GO ON! SHOO!"
Tom Smith threw both Spongebob and Patrick out the front door. Luckily, Spongebob and Patrick had somehow made intelligent clones of themselves to do their jobs for them while they were away. Don't ask me how.
"So what do you think we should do now?" Patrick asked.
"I don't know...OH! I KNOW! Let's take a visit to Sandy's house!" Spongebob said excitedly.
AND SO THEY WENT OFF TO SANDY'S TREEDOME...