Disclaimers: (wallows in disbelief) I have no right over or have ever (stays away from never) owned GundamWing nor do I profit from this fic, but the story is mine.

Warnings: POV shifts, AU (colonies, MS .. but deviations from the timeline? You'll see what I mean), Dark, some OOCness, disturbing content (backup and read that one mo'gain, just to be sure that's clear), graphic descriptions of attempted ncs and ncs (the implied, not as descriptive, will be dominant), incest, drug abuse, Duo/Solo torture (you have been warned) and uh... I dunno if I got everything...

Pairings: eventual 1x2

(hugs betas and special thanks to DSA for the invaluable input)

---xXxXxXx--- means transition or scene change

Denial

by priscel

one - reflections of you

In the calm and simulated quiet of dusk, the park was the thing to do for many of this L2 cluster's residents who weren't in any class higher than working. There were no restrictions or dirty looks given by the people in the Park. No one forcing the homeless to leave or eyeing them in distaste. Kedren Park was neutral territory, a memorial to all the people who died there. Ms. Maxwell slowed her walk through the Park to kneel at a simple plaque of metal dated A.C. 183 and nearly covered by overgrown grass. In one section of the plague, was the embossed name of their old apartment.

"Our first home," she whispered, her eyes closing and a pinched expression taking over her face, as memories cam unbidden back to her. A hull breach in the basement of the complex had instantly ended it all, taking away her love . . . "Aiden," she whispered remembering how she rushed home to find that nearly the entire building had been sucked through a hull breach the size of one those blue earthen, street side mail bins. She chuckled mirthlessly at how those things still existed and closed her eyes at memory's echo of blaring alarms in her ears. The alarms had went off too late and the landlord's neglect to inform his residents of the hull damage beneath the complex meant nothing more to him then a citation and a tax writeoff, at first.

Luckily for her her oldest son, Quin, was away at school and her youngest, Solo, was in daycare a few blocks away, but little Duo was spending the day with his Pop. She smiled sadly, Pop had been Duo's first word after his brother had given some of that sugar rich, carbonated drink. And much to everyone's surprise, that's what Duo began calling his father.

She blamed herself for them being at the apartment. She had told her husband that she'd be by there to pick up her forgotten lunch, when he had suggested that they just have lunch together before she went back to work. Her fingers traced over fifty names before they stilled over one she traced countless times during her visits. She half imagined that none of it was true and that on that day he met her at the door around noon, kissing her before the demon toddler Duo and his sloppy kiss of doom latched on to her and interrupted theirs. She shook her head; her sigh became a deprecating chuckle. She remembered well what really happened. She was just coming home to have a quick lunch with them, when she noticed the flashes of light and streams of grayish smoke that went upward but curved back down in the empty sky of where their three story apartment building had been.

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She slammed her company car to a halt at the corner of McCribble and Lanely. Stepping out of the car and onto shaking legs, she stared in disbelief at the empty space before her. It was nearly half a football field of damage and all along the way her eyes traced bloody smears. Her eyes lingered on the dark red pieces of skinless flesh or charred lumps of something unidentifiable that was scattered on the now bare and twisted metal of what used to be concrete and paved streets.

As if drawn in by the unnatural silence, her eyes settled on a slab of brick and glass windowpane. It was lying there, flat, straighter than everything else around it. "The epicenter of the breach," she surmised. This was had once been her home, her family's home. All that remained of the building and those surrounding it were the strewn wires sparking dangerously, the contorted sharp edges of walls pointing inward as if trying to go toward the brick slab. Jadea began to lose herself, her eyes fixed on the flickering sky. Her mind noting the smoke she had seen earlier was now thinner, but the air was still thick with the heavy scent of blood and electricity leaving a charged, coppery tang on her tongue as the smell of burnt flesh began to soak into her clothes. Coming back to herself, she could feel a faint tug, she was moving slowly closer to the five-foot slab of brick and glass, " . . . it's not completely sealed . . ., " she said in a whisper.

She walked slowly, straining her ears and too scared to utter a word in silence death had left. Her deep blue eyes scanned frantically for some sign of survivors, even though a part of her became heavy with remorse, giving up any hope of that being true. A nun from the local church run by Aiden's only remaining family, his uncle, Father Maxwell came running over. The young nun, Mrs. Maxwell recognized as Helen, clutched her rosary beads in a white knuckle grip.

"J-Jadea!" Helen called in concern after seeing Jadea nearly run into the pole on the corner of the street and then jump out her car running unsteadily toward her home. Sister Helen stumbled. 'Her home,' she thought and something eery settled over her heart that she couldn't understand at first. Then it registered in her mind that there was an emptiness that shouldn't be in front of her as her eyes trailed along Jadea's slack shoulders to the vacant and flickering simulated sky then to the remnants of what used to be in that area.

"Merciful Heavens." Helen uttered behind the hand that involuntarily came up to her trembling lips at her gasp of shock.

Jadea blinked at her name being called, wondering to herself what god would allow something like this to happen. She began to search, moving rubble for some sign of her husband and child. The air got thinner the closer she got to the breach and Helen was calling her back when she saw movement. Sitting on the glass pane over the breach, pushing himself up to sit and then trying to stand but failing, was the nearly three-year-old Duo. He plopped back down where he sat. Duo ran his hand over the glass he was sitting on, leaving a red streak that was barely discernable over the pitch black tunnel if it weren't for the sporadic glint off the metal from the colony lights and the live wires beneath. Those brief sparks of light revealed the amorphous shapes shifting below as parts of bodies and other things. Silent and covered in blood, Duo sat running a red smear across the glass and his deep violet eyes were a striking contrast to the crimson that coated him.

Jadea was close enough to notice that Duo's inability to move was not due to any injury that she could see, but because he was being held against the slab by some sort of black bar. She was seven feet away when she gasped as the bar came into view- it was a disembodied arm wearing the same long sleeve, once blue, shirt she'd seen him put on that morning with a wedding band identical to her own. Tears welded up in her eyes and her breathing increased in the thin air making her feel light headed, as she stumbled, then stilled when the sound of cracking resounded in the stagnant air.

Her eyes found it, a line slowly spreading from where the arm began and widening, almost as if it were searching . . . reaching for Duo. Sister Helen had also seen the movement of the small figure on the glass that showed inky blackness and moved forward at nearly the same time that Jadea had. They both slid to a stop, side by side a few feet away from the blocked breach to hear the metal creaking beneath their feet. They said nothing as Jadea held up her hand in a halting motion when the protesting metal groaned again as Helen took another step. Jadea could feel her heart pounding and her mind screaming at her to move as she took cautious steps toward the windowpane. Sweat dripped down the sides of her face as the metal's cry, although faint, could became louder than the emergency alarms that flashed and sounded, echoing in the emptiness that had housed over two hundred people. She shook her head at the impossibility that so many lives could be snuffed out and buildings ripped from their very foundation by a hole . . . but she knew better, the housing in that block was not up to standards, but it was shelter. It had been home.

Jadea spared the briefest of moments to touch the cooling limb of her husband as she began to pry the mangled blue fingers away from her baby. The whines of the metal grew louder with each passing minute. She cursed and apologized mentally as she continued to pull and pinch unintentionally at the locked limb, until the pressure of their time running out had her acting in desperation, Jadea yanked on the trapped limb. The possible consequences flitting through her head about what the amount of force she was using would mean, but ignoring that voice and focused on one thing. Saving. Her. Child. Finally it worked, Duo was free. Not wanting to tempt fate anymore, she snatched up her unresponsive toddler who only blinked at her and ran.

She ran, deaf to the whines of the metal underfoot, as her feet pounded on it. Once she reached Helen, she joined her running as fast as they could. They could hear the sectioning clamps release with a great hiss of air, lowering huge reinforced metal barriers to seal off this section from the rest of the colony. With a loud whirl of the clamps locking, Sister Helen and Jadea walked toward the church, breathing heavily and distantly noting the emergency crews that zipped by to check the barrier. They could see a few suited up to check for survivors.

'Survivors,' Jadea thought darkly to herself, ' . . . it's too late to rescue anyone with those doors in place. They're just wasting time . . . no one can bring them back. It did help with the population problems,' her thoughts becoming more morose as she smiled, ' the newscasters were always complaining about on TV.' Her thoughts ended abruptly as little Duo gripped her white blouse and half hid his face behind her left breast. Sister Helen, pale and speechless hadn't stopped watching little Duo from Jadea's right. Her baby murmured something; she couldn't make it out so she drew him up in her arms and closer to her ear... " ... there's only shini..." His wide, glassy violets focused on the flashing lights behind them.

Jadea stopped in her tracks and shivered, her son knew death and she looked to Sister Helen for some response. The Sister only stared numbly back, telling her she was just as shocked by what Duo said. Jadea knew it was no coincidence because Aiden would read to Duo about myths before bed and Duo was doing well at saying the words his father had taught him. No there was no mistaking that her son had said Shinigami.

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"Hoohoo." Jadea was startled out of her recollection by two bright glowing eyes in the tree above her. The huge eyes surrounded by shadow blinked twice more before turning away. "HooHoo," she chuckled. "Well hello to you too Mister Owl." She laughed at herself for talking to the animal that was probably only concerned about food.

She exhaled heavily. Out of such tragedy came this: a piece of earth under artificial sky. Many of the residents had never seen living trees and animals, yes there were animals here and even though the homeless were always hungry and looking for food they didn't harm the animals here. It was neutral territory, living with its own ghosts and stories. The sounds that came from the Park and the area's history were the main reasons for moving her family to Maple Ridge apartments, a few blocks away. She was glad that the Colonial representative and the people in the upper echelons didn't try to raise rent and throw out the poor families in the area because of the Park. She believed the structural integrity was still an issue but a claim she couldn't prove without evidence.

Entering her home, she could hear the nightlife through her walls. A nightingale, this had, at first, surprised a few years back because there weren't many birds, especially none like the nightingale, on the colony. Its song always lulled her into dreams and memories from her childhood. It was an old ache, her past, that filled her questions and painful doubts. She shook her head to rid herself of their whispers. "I do not regret my decision," she whispered to herself with a huff that caused her brownish blonde bangs to flutter and tickle her nose. She smiled, putting her tote bag down and wondered how Duo could stand having his bangs in his face. She wiggled her nose when her came in contact with her nose. It was incredibly annoying not to mention it itched. Propping her bag against the armrest of their black and gray speckled couch, she pulled out the apron and the blue stripped sleeve of her waitress uniform, checking it over to reassure herself that the mayo incident at work, that gave a male customer a milky white facial, didn't require her to do any late night washing.

Relieved, she headed for their bedroom hearing the owl hooting again. A small smile graced her features as she approached her sleeping boys on cat's feet and glared at the cat that had been watching her the whole time, thwacking his tail a few times before standing, stretching and bumping against her clothed legs. The cat was protective, she tilted her head to the side slightly wondering but before the thought was formed one of her boys moved and the other sniffled moving closer to the other. She smiled down at her two boys who were huddled together like puppies. It was how they always seemed to ended up when they slept.

"I don't regret any of it." She whispered once more, bending to brush Duo's bangs from his eyes and running her finger tips lightly down Solo's chubby cheeks. A puzzled expression crossed her face making her look much younger than her forty years. She rubbed her fingers together absently, unconsciously mouthing the word 'tears.' She felt disappointed. She was missing all the little things that involved her babies and she admonished herself for not being there when he cried and not being there to comfort him. She brought herself out of her self-reproach, glad that her sons' were close and knew Duo would do anything for his little brother. She often wondered if she was a good enough mother to them, with her always working, she hardly saw them. She was thankful that she had more time than she had a few years back since Quin offered to help with the responsibility. Still, as she sat on her bed preparing to go to sleep, she wished that Quin wouldn't work so much. She didn't want him to waste away his youth like that.

tbc...

AN: So you have to be thinking what's going on? Yea, I'm working toward some sort of order and since this story's got me about ready to scream, I can't seem to delete any of it so I decided to annex it. I'm doing this in hopes of making it flow better and be clearer.

So the incidents between Quin and Duo (and is missing for those of you who are familiar with the original chapter) is in 'Denial annex'. haha really simple neh?

I'm definitely open to suggestions and opinions on how this is working.