Author's Notes: I don't own Steph or Hunter, and the song is by the ever-
great Pink (called Just Like A Pill). This is the first of three Steph
POV's I'm writing, showing how I think the princess really feels. This one
is about her + Hunter (on television) and their breakup. Rated for slight
language. Enjoy! **E.R.**
~~~~~
He's yelling at me, actually yelling AT ME. I know what this means, because he's never been this angry with me. It means problems. Big, marriage-sized problems- bumps in the road that make you stronger and more in love when it's eventually over- but I thought we were over with those. I'm not so sure right now though, because he's never raised his voice at me before.
We're in our hotel room, a suite- only the best for us, and I can't understand how it started. I think I said something about the next week, and I asked if he could pack his clothes ahead of time. Not that it was a big deal, but that bothered me- really! Hunter is so messy! That got him started. I'll take my blame- I know I can be a bitch and I do enjoy the reputation sometimes- but he's got a temper that you wouldn't believe. That was the most enraged I'd ever seen him- and believe me, I'm a McMahon and I've seen anger- but it kept getting worse with every fight we shared after that.
"Does everything have to go your way, Steph?" He paces in front of me, and Hunter looks down at me with a contempt I've never seen before. I feel so sick right now, I want him to leave and stop doing this to me. He thinks this is my fault, that I make him angry and I want him to be so different than usual. If it was me, I want to scream, wouldn't I be able to fix it?!
I'm cringing instead, the princess is shrinking back from her knight, and I can't force a reply. Things don't have to go my way, I just happen to be very good at getting what I want. And, what I want right now is to have everything how it was before. Back when Hunter loved me- and when he showed it.
The room is finally quiet. Hunter's gone- I don't know where and I don't care right now. I hurt so bad, and no more tears can fall. Everything is so still around me, and I wonder where we went wrong, and if it can really be fixed.
Lying here on the floor where you left me,
I think I took too much.
I'm crying here, what have you done?
I thought it would be fun.
I can't stay on your life support,
There's a shortage in the switch.
I can't stay on your morphine,
'Cause it's making me itch.
I said I tried to call the nurse again,
But she's being a little bitch.
I think I'll get out of here.
Stephanie McMahon has always been so determined, I think manipulating is what you call me. I can't recognize myself anymore. This is what Hunter has done to me. Sure, I can still be the classic daughter-gone-wrong to everyone else, but he's finally beaten me down. I don't bother to fight when he yells at me anymore, I just curl up and cry. And want to die, because I hate living our marriage like this.
I don't know when things started to change, and I don't know how. Seems I don't know much anymore. It was like I opened the door one day and Hunter was gone- and Triple H was there. Desperate for a comeback, a career, a legend reborn... healing himself while he ignored me. I tried to be supportive, like a good wife, I really did. I've already got a destroyed family- I don't need this marriage to turn out the same. But, it didn't work. I'm at this hour now, and it's when I'll do anything to get our old life back. Anything at all.
Where I can run just as fast as I can,
To the middle of nowhere,
To the middle of my frustrated fears.
And I swear you're just like a pill,
Instead of making me better,
You keep making me ill.
You keep making me ill.
That's when I get this idea. I'm smiling slightly- haven't done that in a while- and I know now what I have to do. This may take a bit of "the old Stephanie" to work, but I can do that. I have to change us, because I can't live like this for one more night. I will make things right again, and Hunter will love me again. I need this to work.
My plan is simple in itself, but it will last a lifetime. Hunter has always wanted a family, a child of his own, and I'll give it to him. I'm his wife, I'll do anything for him, and I know he'll be happy when I get pregnant. One thing stands in the way, a little thing called "the pill"- but that can be easily remedied with one throw into the garbage can. Or maybe I'll switch them for candies. Either way, this will work. I'll carry Hunter's baby, and we'll be happy again. maybe I can even get Dad to give me my old job back.
I haven't moved from the spot where you left,
It must be a bad trip.
All of the other pills were different,
Maybe I should get some help.
I can't stay on your life support,
There's a shortage in the switch.
I can't stay on your morphine,
'Cause it's making me itch.
I said I tried to call the nurse again,
But she's being a little bitch.
I think I'll get out of here.
I've screwed people over before, why wouldn't it work this time? I thought things were at their lowest, that nothing could get worse, but I should've known better. I am a McMahon after all, we always get the best and worst of everything. I know what my worst was, but I can't remember what the best was- can't realize it either. I just know it's been a long time since I've smiled.
My plan was so close to working, if it weren't for that one fatal flaw- I'd be happy right now. I couldn't get pregnant- even though I tried. Do you know how hard it is to make love to the man who isn't who you married? I shouldn't have been surprised when it didn't work, but I shouldn't have let my love get the better of me.
I'll do anything if I think it's what I need to do- you must know that- so I did what I felt I had to do. I lied to him. Not that it was planned, it was such an act of desperation. I didn't know what to do when he threw me out, so I said I was pregnant. Wishing it was true didn't help, so I hired a fake doctor to make hunter believe me. Maybe make me believe too. When you get to the heart of it, I didn't have the intention of destroying him and killing him inside. I wanted the greedy love I'd been denied for so long. I still do.
Hunter's divorced me, truth hurts every moment since. I'll find that love somewhere, he just couldn't see me enough to give it to me. Damn that tape, it just had to be made public. I need to get away from him now, where I can get back to me.
Where I can run just as fast as I can,
To the middle of nowhere,
To the middle of my frustrated fears.
And I swear you're just like a pill,
Instead of making me better,
You keep making me ill.
You keep making me ill.
~~~~~
He's yelling at me, actually yelling AT ME. I know what this means, because he's never been this angry with me. It means problems. Big, marriage-sized problems- bumps in the road that make you stronger and more in love when it's eventually over- but I thought we were over with those. I'm not so sure right now though, because he's never raised his voice at me before.
We're in our hotel room, a suite- only the best for us, and I can't understand how it started. I think I said something about the next week, and I asked if he could pack his clothes ahead of time. Not that it was a big deal, but that bothered me- really! Hunter is so messy! That got him started. I'll take my blame- I know I can be a bitch and I do enjoy the reputation sometimes- but he's got a temper that you wouldn't believe. That was the most enraged I'd ever seen him- and believe me, I'm a McMahon and I've seen anger- but it kept getting worse with every fight we shared after that.
"Does everything have to go your way, Steph?" He paces in front of me, and Hunter looks down at me with a contempt I've never seen before. I feel so sick right now, I want him to leave and stop doing this to me. He thinks this is my fault, that I make him angry and I want him to be so different than usual. If it was me, I want to scream, wouldn't I be able to fix it?!
I'm cringing instead, the princess is shrinking back from her knight, and I can't force a reply. Things don't have to go my way, I just happen to be very good at getting what I want. And, what I want right now is to have everything how it was before. Back when Hunter loved me- and when he showed it.
The room is finally quiet. Hunter's gone- I don't know where and I don't care right now. I hurt so bad, and no more tears can fall. Everything is so still around me, and I wonder where we went wrong, and if it can really be fixed.
Lying here on the floor where you left me,
I think I took too much.
I'm crying here, what have you done?
I thought it would be fun.
I can't stay on your life support,
There's a shortage in the switch.
I can't stay on your morphine,
'Cause it's making me itch.
I said I tried to call the nurse again,
But she's being a little bitch.
I think I'll get out of here.
Stephanie McMahon has always been so determined, I think manipulating is what you call me. I can't recognize myself anymore. This is what Hunter has done to me. Sure, I can still be the classic daughter-gone-wrong to everyone else, but he's finally beaten me down. I don't bother to fight when he yells at me anymore, I just curl up and cry. And want to die, because I hate living our marriage like this.
I don't know when things started to change, and I don't know how. Seems I don't know much anymore. It was like I opened the door one day and Hunter was gone- and Triple H was there. Desperate for a comeback, a career, a legend reborn... healing himself while he ignored me. I tried to be supportive, like a good wife, I really did. I've already got a destroyed family- I don't need this marriage to turn out the same. But, it didn't work. I'm at this hour now, and it's when I'll do anything to get our old life back. Anything at all.
Where I can run just as fast as I can,
To the middle of nowhere,
To the middle of my frustrated fears.
And I swear you're just like a pill,
Instead of making me better,
You keep making me ill.
You keep making me ill.
That's when I get this idea. I'm smiling slightly- haven't done that in a while- and I know now what I have to do. This may take a bit of "the old Stephanie" to work, but I can do that. I have to change us, because I can't live like this for one more night. I will make things right again, and Hunter will love me again. I need this to work.
My plan is simple in itself, but it will last a lifetime. Hunter has always wanted a family, a child of his own, and I'll give it to him. I'm his wife, I'll do anything for him, and I know he'll be happy when I get pregnant. One thing stands in the way, a little thing called "the pill"- but that can be easily remedied with one throw into the garbage can. Or maybe I'll switch them for candies. Either way, this will work. I'll carry Hunter's baby, and we'll be happy again. maybe I can even get Dad to give me my old job back.
I haven't moved from the spot where you left,
It must be a bad trip.
All of the other pills were different,
Maybe I should get some help.
I can't stay on your life support,
There's a shortage in the switch.
I can't stay on your morphine,
'Cause it's making me itch.
I said I tried to call the nurse again,
But she's being a little bitch.
I think I'll get out of here.
I've screwed people over before, why wouldn't it work this time? I thought things were at their lowest, that nothing could get worse, but I should've known better. I am a McMahon after all, we always get the best and worst of everything. I know what my worst was, but I can't remember what the best was- can't realize it either. I just know it's been a long time since I've smiled.
My plan was so close to working, if it weren't for that one fatal flaw- I'd be happy right now. I couldn't get pregnant- even though I tried. Do you know how hard it is to make love to the man who isn't who you married? I shouldn't have been surprised when it didn't work, but I shouldn't have let my love get the better of me.
I'll do anything if I think it's what I need to do- you must know that- so I did what I felt I had to do. I lied to him. Not that it was planned, it was such an act of desperation. I didn't know what to do when he threw me out, so I said I was pregnant. Wishing it was true didn't help, so I hired a fake doctor to make hunter believe me. Maybe make me believe too. When you get to the heart of it, I didn't have the intention of destroying him and killing him inside. I wanted the greedy love I'd been denied for so long. I still do.
Hunter's divorced me, truth hurts every moment since. I'll find that love somewhere, he just couldn't see me enough to give it to me. Damn that tape, it just had to be made public. I need to get away from him now, where I can get back to me.
Where I can run just as fast as I can,
To the middle of nowhere,
To the middle of my frustrated fears.
And I swear you're just like a pill,
Instead of making me better,
You keep making me ill.
You keep making me ill.