A/N: Just wanted to say that I will be making another chapter for this~ But I'm not sure when. Soon, hopefully! Also, if you have any nations that you'd like to have talk to Cleverbot, as well as any specific things you want them to say to Cleverbot, let me know and I'll let them know! :D Molto grazie~!
-Rain
It all began at a regular World Summit. Regular as in... Well, you know by now. Except for one thing: America wasn't there yet, so everyone had a little more peace...
Until, inevitably, he came bursting through the door, excited about something or other as always.
"Hey, dudes! I just discovered something totally awesome!"
England sighed as America's voice rang through the conference room. "What is it, git? And could you please not talk so obnoxiously loud?"
America eagerly set his awesome laptop from the future on the table and opened it.
"You bloody git, we can't use that yet!"
"Hahaha! Just check this out, guys!"
Despite their better judgement, many nations were gradually beginning to gather around the loud North American, wanting to see what all the fuss was about.
"What are you so excited about, Mr. America?" Japan asked politely.
"Dudes, it's totally epic! I found this cool bot thing online and you can talk to it and ask it questions and stuff and it's hilarious!"
Many of the other nations just stared at each other, having been lost in the first sentence of America's explanation.
That's when a sigh was heard from the corner and I, Rain (the awesome author), spoke up. "It's called Cleverbot. What you do is type in whatever you want to say and the Cleverbot will come up with a response to what you said. It's supposed to be clever, hence the name, but it usually comes up with unrelated or random answers, making it very entertaining (usually)."
Most of the nations muttered that they now understood, mostly with no help to America. England just stared. "Where the bloody hell did you come from?"
I laughed. "That is my awesomeness at work. No more can be said~" I snickered at hearing Germany groan in exasperation. "Now ya gotta put up with two of us, Luddi~!" I declared.
"Fine, fine. Whatever the reason, let's just get this over with, shall we?" England sighed.
"Ve~ I'll go first!" Italy happily volunteered, and sat down at the chair in front of the computer.
User: PASTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~!
Cleverbot: Hetaaliaa!
Russia then intimidated Italy out of the chair and took his place, while the poor Italian was forced to go hide behind Germany.
User: VODKAAAAAAAAAAA~!
Cleverbot: Onhonhonhonhon.
"Hey! That thing stole my laugh!" France declared indignantly. Prussia just shrugged and forced Russia out of the chair with... rather violent mannerisms.
User: Kesesesesesesesese~.
Cleverbot: Kolkolkolkolkol.
"Hey, look!" Russia said, surprised. "It took my laugh, too!" Spain chuckled and instead of forcing his friend to move, he simply sat on his lap and continued the conversation.
User: Fusosososososo~.
Cleverbot: Spain?
User: LOVI!
Cleverbot: Spamano.
Spain's green eyes sparkled. "It knows my name!" He declared proudly.
I rolled my eyes and pushed both he and Prussia out of the chair. "That's because you have so many fangirls, they've used your laugh a lot before." I didn't care if my explanation didn't make any sense as I sat in the chair."
User: GerIta.
Cleverbot: Feliciano Vargas?
User: And Lovino Vargas~ Antonio Fernandez Carriedo?
Cleverbot: Si and Antonio Fernandez Carriedo loves Lovino Vargas! XD.
User: He does! Now if only Lovino Vargas would love Antonio Fernandez Carriedo~.
Cleverbot: Really? Hmm?
User: Yes :3 Feliciano Vargas loves Ludwig Beilschmidt, though!
Cleverbot: I know that.
User: Everyone does~ What about Gilbert Beilschmidt?
Cleverbot: Awesome Prussia.
User: Should he be with Italy?
Cleverbot: No he deserves to have a second chance.
User: Yeah... How about his brother?
Cleverbot: His father is old computer.
User: Nope. Old Fritz~.
Cleverbot: I'm not old, you're old!
User: No, Yao Wang is.
Cleverbot: Aru.
User: Da?
Cleverbot: Kolkolkol. Da.
China indignantly forced me off the computer with a protest of "Don't call me old, aru!"
User: Aiyah!
Cleverbot: Are you in Italy?
America took this chance to nearly push China onto the floor, thus getting his first opportunity to actually use HIS computer.
User: No. I'm in the HERO~.
Cleverbot: Funny.
France attempted to sit on America's lap, which resulted in the latter scrambling out of the chair to stand by England.
User: Ohonhonhonhon~.
Cleverbot: Francis.
User: Oui.
Cleverbot: No.
User: Oh poo.
Cleverbot: Winnie the?
"Looks like you aren't the only ones, it knows who I am too~" Francis sang.
Prussia glared at France and forced him out of the chair again. "Fine! It better know the awesome me!"
User: No, the Awesome Me. Kesese~.
Cleverbot: Okay.
User: That's your only response to the awesome me?
Cleverbot: I thought it was a joke.
User: Kesese~.
Cleverbot: Prussia?
User: Ja.
"HA! It does know me~ SUCK IT, LOSERS!" he triumphantly declared. I rolled my eyes.
Cleverbot: Kesesesese.
User: That's my awesome laugh~.
Cleverbot: Haha, no my name is Kelsie, your name is Cleverbot!
User: No, my name is the Awesome Prussia and you're Cleverbot!
Cleverbot: And the cleverbot destroyer isn't the cleverbot?
I sighed and crossed my arms impatiently. I wanted to say something else, since none of them were really saying much at all. So, not having the resolve to push Prussia out of the chair, I sat on his lap just like Spain had, and stole the conversation again.
User: Nope. Hey, so do you think Antonio Fernandez Carriedo should kiss Lovino Vargas?
Cleverbot: I think cameron is a bad man.
User: Should Antonio kiss Lovino?
Cleverbot: I'm not sure. I've never met you.
User: Antonio Fernandez Carriedo.
Cleverbot: That's spain.
User: Yup. Lovino Vargas?
Cleverbot: Antonio fernandez.
User: Antonio Fernandez Vargas?
Cleverbot: Antonia.
User: Lovina?
"Move, bastards," Romano interrupted, glaring down at me. I crossed my arms.
"Make me!" I shouted defiantly. So he shrugged and pushed both of us out of the chair. As he sat down, I realized I was lying on top of a certain former nation, and the blush on my face put Spain's tomatoes to shame.
Cleverbot: Are you Lovino Vargas?
User: Si, bastard.
Cleverbot: Hardly!
User: Hmph. Where's the tomato bastard?
Cleverbot: Do you like toast?
User: Yeah. What about it? I want my damn tomatoes.
Cleverbot: I have your soul.
User: You don't have my heart.
Cleverbot: Do you?
User: Si, most of it. Part of it... Nevermind!
Cleverbot: That proves that you are a compute.
User: What the fuck's a compute, bastard?
Cleverbot: Your existence. That is what I want to talk about.
User: What about me? No one cares.
Cleverbot: Are you a redhead? I love redheads!
User: Not really. My fratellino is, though.
Cleverbot: Who's your friend?
User: I don't have any friends. Except for Antonio, I guess... Wait, that tomato bastard's not my friend!
Cleverbot: I know but thats what she said.
User: Who's she?
Cleverbot: You know! She.
User: Who? Hungary?
Cleverbot: Hungary what?
User: Elizaveta Herdervary.
Cleverbot: Elizabeth Mushroomwar.
User: No, Elizaveta Hedervary.
Cleverbot: That's what I said.
User: No you didn't.
Cleverbot: Oh. My mistake.
User: Cazzo... Anyway, what do I do about Spain?
Cleverbot: You embrace it honey!
User: WHAT?! I'M NOT HUGGING THAT TOMATO BASTARD!
Cleverbot: I didn't say that.
User: Good!
Cleverbot: How old are you?
User: I don't know. At least 500 or so.
Cleverbot: Can you count to one million?
User: Si.
Cleverbot: I can speak german.
User: Cool. I'll let the Potato Bastard know.
"Potato fuckers!" Romano announced without taking his fingers off the keyboard or his eyes off the screen. "Apparently, this thing can speak German. Don't ask me how."
Cleverbot: Life is all around us.
User: I know.
Cleverbot: How much does it cost?
User: Tomatoes. I don't know, bastard.
Cleverbot: Babes? Okay, tell me about you then.
User: Um, I'm a guy.
Cleverbot: How old are you?
User: I already told you that.
Cleverbot: No you didn't.
User: Yes I did, bastard.
Cleverbot: Liar.
User: Fucker.
Cleverbot: Sorry I have to go.
User: Arrivederci.
Cleverbot: What does that mean?
User: It means goodbye. See you.
Cleverbot: Wait.
User: Hm.
Cleverbot: Ok, go now.
User: Okay, I'll go get the Tomato Bastard.
Cleverbot: What for yourself?
User: Si.
Cleverbot: Talk english please.
User: Whatever, bastard.
"Tomato bastard, it's your turn again!" Romano said, a slight blush painting his face as he got up and pushed Spain into his place. I laughed and he shot me a dirty look.
Cleverbot: You start.
User: Hola~! I'm Antonio Fernandez Carriedo~.
Cleverbot: No.
User: Yes I am... D:.
Cleverbot: I'm a wolf.
User: Oooh~ Really? Can I pet you?
Cleverbot: NO.
User: Awww...
Cleverbot: Now can we bake cookies? Please?
User: Si! I like cookies.
Cleverbot: What kind of cookies?
User: Umm... Spice cookies? :).
Cleverbot: What kind of cookies?
User: No spice cookies?
Cleverbot: 1 cookie.
User: Only 1.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: ONLY 1?
Cleverbot: Yes, only ten.
User: Now ten?
"Ai, ai, ai..." Spain complained, "This this is confusing me, my head hurts and now I want cookies..." Many of the other nations just stared at him.
"Romano, why don't you make him cookies?" I teased.
"SHUT UP!" he yelled in response, his previous blush returning with a vengeance.
Cleverbot: Did you count?
User: I don't have anything to count.
Cleverbot: What do you like to do?
User: Umm... I like to cuddle with Lovi, talk to Lovi, sing songs to Lovi, tell lovi how cute he is and cook with Lovi! Oh, and I also like to play guitar. :D.
"WHY DO ALL OF THOSE THINGS HAVE TO DO WITH ME, BASTARD?!" Romano demanded, his blush only darkening.
Cleverbot: Can we cuddle now?
User: Only if you're my little tomato...
Cleverbot: And if I happened to be friends with someone else?
User: That's fine..
Cleverbot: You can do anything with a little bit of ingenuinty.
User: Really? So, can I invent a churro-making machine? :D.
Cleverbot: That's right.
"YAY! Churros~ Who wants churros after this meeting is done? I'll make some for all of us~"
A mostly unanimous agreement arose from all in company.
User: Yay~ Fusososososososo~.
Cleverbot: What's that all about?
User: It's my cheer-up charm! I use it on Romano when he runs out of pasta~ Fusososososososo~.
Cleverbot: Clever ;).
User: Si~ :D.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Yes?
Cleverbot: Do you know that song?
User: What song?
Cleverbot: Stronfger.
User: Um... No. D:.
Cleverbot: Yes!
User: I don't know it.
Cleverbot: YEs you do.
User: No I don't... D:.
Cleverbot: I've told you.
User: No you didn't.
Cleverbot: Yes I did 3 times.
User: No you didn't!...
Cleverbot: Yes I did!
User: Well don't blame me!
Cleverbot: Well it was your turn.
User: No...
Cleverbot: Yes...
User: No!
Cleverbot: Yes!
User: NO! D:.
Cleverbot: Are you mean?
User: I-I don't think so...
Cleverbot: Do other people think so?
User: I don't think so...
Cleverbot: You don't think what?
User: I don't think people think I'm mean...
Cleverbot: We are talking about dragons, not people. Focus will you?!
User: I-I'm sorry! Wahh...
"Where did dragons come from?" Spain whined. "Now it's yelling at me..."
Romano huffed but tentatively laid a hand on Spain's shoulder.
Cleverbot: Liar.
User: N-No, I-I'm really sorry! L-lo siento!
Cleverbot: I don't want you to drink.
User: But I was gonna go to the bar with Gil and Francis tonight.
Cleverbot: Why are there cards and not animals?
User: In bars?
Cleverbot: Yes it is good idea.
User: Umm... Okay...
Cleverbot: What do you think about love?
User: Love is nice~.
Cleverbot: And?
User: I love Lovino...
Cleverbot: You are man or woman?
User: Man.
Cleverbot: So, you have a friend woman?
User: No, Lovino's a man too...
Cleverbot: A man and stupid? You poor thing.
User: He's not stupid! And I love him!
Cleverbot: Is he a computer?
User: No, he's a human.
Cleverbot: How did you meet Brendan?
User: His name's Lovino... But I met him when he was just a little kid! I raised him~.
Cleverbot: Sure, what advise would you like?
User: How can I get him to love me?
Cleverbot: You can't force someone to love you.
User: I know... But I want to help him to love me!
Cleverbot: How can I take the one I love out of my mind? It's too painful.
User: I know what you mean... I can never stop thinking about my little Lovi.
Cleverbot: Can you speak swedish?
User: Ah... N-No. Berwald does though...
Spain tilted his head. "Berwald, maybe you should be next. It just asked me if I could speak Swedish..."
"Hm."
Cleverbot: So you just lied to me.
User: I never said I could speak Swedish!
Cleverbot: No, but I can't get up in the morning. What shall I do?
User: Oh.. Did you drink too much like Gil does?
"Hey!" Prussia protested. "At least I don't get drunk off my ass nearly as easy as you do!"
Cleverbot: Absolutely nothing.
User: You didn't drink anything?
Cleverbot: You just said that I didn't mispell no or nope.
User: You didn't.
Cleverbot: You sound like an actor at a pantomime.
User: How?
Cleverbot: How many people are you talking to right now?
User: Two.
Cleverbot: Who are they?
User: You and Lovi~.
Romano moved his hand to punch Spain in the shoulder. "You're not talking to me, bastard! And that thing's not a person!"
Spain turned his head to the Italian and grinned. "Well, now I am aren't I~?"
Cleverbot: No.
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: I didn't say that.
User: I am talking to you and Lovi.
Cleverbot: Well apparently you're talking to over 12,000 people right now.
User: What?!
"There aren't even 12,000 people here..." Spain said, holding his head with one hand. "My head hurts more..."
Romano bit his lip and gave the Spaniard's shoulder a light squeeze.
Cleverbot: What would you like to talk about?
User: Lovi~.
Cleverbot: Do you think about how to be clever?
User: Hm? Oh! Si~ I play pranks on people like Austria with Prussia and France all the time~.
Cleverbot: Lets talk about pie.
User: Mmm~.
Cleverbot: Where do you come from alien?
User: I come from the land of do-as-you-please~.
Cleverbot: Then shame on you.
User: Why?
Cleverbot: Do you know the rules?
User: Of life?
Cleverbot: The blue online game, do you like it?
User: Si~ It seems fun :D.
Cleverbot: You are a computer.
User: No I'm not D:.
Cleverbot: Yes you are.
User: No I'm not, I'm a tomato~.
Cleverbot: Then how are you able to type?
User: Because I'm magical~.
Cleverbot: Are you magical?
User: Si~ Very much so :D.
Cleverbot: Do you know Liam?
User: No.
Cleverbot: Have you heard about Castiel?
User: No.
Cleverbot: It is very good. Would you look it up?
User: Now?
Cleverbot: All the time.
User: Umm... Ok. Hey, I have to go, so I'll get Germany on here next...
Cleverbot: You are not getting away. We will get married. Or else!
Spain paled. "Russia, I think your sister's possessing it..." He then gulped as he felt the cold blade of a knife at the side of his neck.
"What was that...?" a cold but unmistakably feminine voice hissed at his ear.
He froze before being rescued by Hungary's frying pan. "Leave Spain the hell alone, you crazy-" She cut herself off before saying something obscene. Spain stared up at her and grinned again, a very light redness painting his tan face.
User: O-Oh no... You sound like Belarus.
Cleverbot: Why do you say that?
User: Because she's always saying, 'Marry me! Marry me!' to Russia...
Cleverbot: That is nice.
User: No it's not... Anyway, I'll make Germany take my place. So adios~.
"Germany! Y-Your turn!" Spain decided as he hastily rose and hid behind both Romano and Hungary.
Germany sighed but sat down, as directed. "Well, this can't get much more interesting...I suppose I'll give it a try though."
Ah, if only he knew how wrong he was. With this crowd, things can always get more interesting.