Congratulations
-Bella/Edward-
(Note: This one-shot was inspired by the song 'Congratulations' by Blue October, feat. Imogen Heap. It's a really great song, and the lyrics just seemed to be a conversation between Bella and Edward, so I had to write it! I hope you enjoy this one-shot! I have a couple others in the works. With each '-' there is a change of PoV just so everyone knows and no one gets confused. Enjoy!)
-
This day was supposed to be the happiest day of my life. It was my wedding day. I felt like curling up into a ball and crying my eyes out for days and days. I had no objections to the groom. There was no one else I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. At least, there was no one else who wanted me who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Jacob was all I had, still. But in this, in marrying him, it was forfeiting everything else. But then, I wasn't really expecting Edward to come back now. It's been years. I was eighteen when he left, and now I'm twenty-four. I know that I should expect nothing, and I don't.
I know perfectly well that Edward is the one I will love for the rest of my life. Edward is everything that I think, breathe, smell, and cry, even when he's been gone for this many years. It was hard, accepting that today was the last day I had of true freedom to think of Edward without guilt. The rest of my life would be painful. Jacob might not hold it against me to think of Edward, but I would hold it against myself. I was professing my eternal love to Jacob in three hours, and all I could think of was Edward. I felt the hole in my chest resurfacing. It still hurt as much as it did years ago.
"Bella?" Angela's voice came floating through the door. "Bella? Can I come in?" I gulped back my tears, shoved my pain aside again, and invited her into my room. She came in smiling, but once she saw my most likely disheveled appearance, her face fell.
"Oh, honey," she said. She came and sat next to me on my bed. She a hand on my shoulder. "Bella… I think I need to get this out now. I haven't said it for… well, for a long time. I know you miss him. I know you miss… Edward." She paused, unsure if I could handle his name. "But Bella, it's been… so long. And you and Jacob get along so well. You make it through everything. You've been together for years. I'm not going to tell you to move on, because I think you've done your best in that department. But you need to let yourself live. It's like you won't allow yourself any kind of pleasure in life because you don't have him anymore. Bella, you can. You're allowed. Everyone around you wants you to be as happy as
you can be. It's obvious that Edward will always be a part of you, but you have to let that part be just that. Just a part of you."
As Angela imparted her words of wisdom – I knew they were wise and intelligent, but I had to mock them – tears had begun to fall again. I sniffed, and she reached over and wiped the tears away. She took my face in her hand.
"Bella, you've got to let yourself live, and you've got to live the way you want to live." She smiled at me, and then she got up and left. Her words rang in my ears. They repeated themselves in my head. I felt like a small weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Angela was right.
Edward would always be the one I loved most. I knew I had moved on as much as I could. But I had never, ever allowed myself to live with that. And this was my crossroads. If I went through with this – if I married Jacob today – then I would move on. I would allow myself to live as I hadn't allowed myself to do for years.
I looked into my mirror and saw someone. It was me, I knew, but I barely looked like myself. There were tear tracks down my face, and my eyes had purple rings around them. I'd been afraid of this day for a long time, but all of a sudden, I felt reckless. I felt reckless the way I had when I had decided to break my promises to Edward and Charlie and everyone.
I was going to do this. I would not forget Edward, but I would not let my past control me this much anymore. Edward would always be a part of me, and he would always be what I wanted more than anything. But I planned to live. I planned to make something out of my life.
-
I couldn't bear it anymore. I needed Bella more than anything else, and I'd gone six entire years without seeing her face. I began to feel as though my own memory was slipping. I wondered if my mind really remembered her face perfectly. I wasn't sure if it was the exact tone of her voice, or the intoxicating smell correctly replicated in my mind. It was painful to be so unsure. I knew that there was nothing else I could do but stay away.
Bella was now twenty-four years old, and probably the most beautiful woman in the whole world. I wouldn't know though, because I haven't seen her. I wished more than anything I could.
And I snapped one day. I decided I would take as long as possible to get back to Forks, but I couldn't stay away any longer. I needed to see her one more time at least. I like to think that I will be able to just walk away, but I don't know what to expect from Forks right now.
I'm not going to tell any of the others. They don't need to know, and I don't want to tell them that I'm already failing. It's only been a few years. I'm crawling back already!
I ignored my pride. It was stifled by my pain anyway.
After nearly a week of travel (free travel) I walked across the border of the town of Forks. The somewhat familiar scents swirled around me, and I couldn't find hers among the smells. I tried to ignore the fear that gripped my stomach.
What if she had left Forks? What if I never, ever found her?
That would be a pain too unbearable to imagine.
I hurried to her house, running so fast that no one would see me. I was there in a matter of seconds. Her scent was lacing the house, and it hit me like ten tons of bricks. The potency had been lost in my memory. I felt venom fill my mouth, and I hungered for her in ways that I knew I did not want. I ran up to her window, but it was closed. I hung onto the ledge, and pulled myself up so I could see in her window. She wasn't there. I sighed unhappily. Her smell surrounded everything, and I couldn't tell which areas had a stronger scent. It was everywhere. I sat down behind her house and inhaled. Just smelling her smell, knowing that she was near, it made the pain lessen.
I took a deep breath.
My phone rang.
"Hello?" I said.
"Edward, get out of Forks," said Alice's worried voice. Damn it.
"Why?" I asked, annoyed.
"Get out, please. Get out, or I'm coming to get you, and I'm bringing the whole family!" she said. Her voice was getting angry.
"First of all, you know you can't bring everyone here because it's been six years since we've been here and none of us have aged a day! If someone sees, then something bad will happen! Secondly, I will not leave, thank you. I'm just here because… because I need to make sure I remember her. So I believe I will see you in a month or so for Esme and Carlisle's anniversary." I hung up the phone. Of course Alice would have seen. I wondered why she had taken so long to actually call me. Maybe it had been a late vision, or maybe she didn't believe it… I ignored it.
I had to find her.
-
I was ready. I was dressed. I had a beautiful, white, flowing gown on with a veil over my face. I was actually excited. Charlie told me I was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Renée sobbed and clung to Phil. My half-sister, Jenna, who was five years old, told me I would make a very good princess. I smiled and thanked her.
Sam was the best man. Quil and Embry and Jared were the other three groomsmen. Angela was my maid of honor, since I could think of no one else to be. I invited Emily as well to be a bridesmaid, and she had been very flattered. Jacob's two sisters, Rachel and Rebecca, were the other two bridesmaids. Jenna was the flower girl. She looked adorable in a little white dress, holding a small basket full of red rose petals.
The ceremony was to take place at First Beach. It wasn't raining – at least not yet – and there was a tent at the ready, if it was needed. I was excited to see Jacob. I was sure he would look wonderful. Maybe I would measure up today. I heard that most brides seemed to glow. I wasn't sure if I could manage glowing today, but I would do my best. I smiled without faking, and I was excited on the inside, truthfully.
We had asked the high school band to play for us, and we were informed that they would play one song, then the wedding march, which was my introduction. The first song, a beautiful medley of classical songs, reached my ears, and my mother and step-father hurried off to sit down. My father smiled at me.
"Bella," he began, "I'm so, so happy for you. I know these past few years have been so hard on you, but I think you'll lead a very happy life. Congratulations honey." He looked rather uncomfortable, but he leaned into me and held me. I closed my eyes, holding back tears. I held him close. I loved my father.
The wedding march began, and Angela and Sam headed in. Quil and Emily followed, then Embry and Rachel and Jared and Rebecca. My heartbeat sped up. I was actually nervous. I didn't doubt Jacob's love. I knew he loved me. I loved him, too. Just not as much as… Edward.
Jenna went in, showering petals as she walked, doing a fabulous job of preparing the aisle for me. I felt a huge smile spread across my face as Charlie took my arm. I felt… happy. I was genuinely happy, and that made me happier. My smile widened as I saw all the faces I knew smiling back at me. I knew that these people had only seen me broken, fragile, and unfixable. I wasn't broken anymore, at least not completely. I wasn't as fragile, and I wasn't unfixable. And the knowledge that I wasn't just a one-room fixer-upper anymore made me very, very happy. And I didn't trip on the way up the aisle!
Charlie gave me away, and Jake took my hand. My heart felt whole, and I felt happy. The ceremony seemed to go quickly. I was excited for the end. I'd dreamed of it with Edward, and now it was happening with Jacob. I was surprised at how happy I was. I hadn't expected to be this happy ever again. I supposed leaving Edward partially behind was what I needed.
"Do you, Isabella Swan, take Jacob Black to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, for rich or for poor, for as long as you both shall live?" I looked into Jacob's dark eyes.
"I do."
The words had a tint of betrayal to me. I was shocked as I said them. I had let go as much as I ever would. A euphoric acid bounced through my veins, and I began to shake with the feeling. I was smiling wider and more earnestly than I had in a long, long time.
"Do you, Jacob Black, take Isabella Swan to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, for rich or for poor, for as long as you both shall live?" Jake grinned his old grin. My grin.
"I do!" he said happily.
"Then you may kiss this bride," said the minister. Jake lifted the veil from over my eyes, and he looked right into them. I felt my legs actually get a little weak with the intensity of his gaze. And he leaned down and kissed me. I put my arms around his neck, and held him to me, unafraid of his kiss. We had kissed before, but it had never, ever been anything like this. I had never responded like this, and he held me tighter, kissed me longer, and kissed me harder than he ever had before. It felt… right.
And then I felt someone watching me. I knew everyone at the assembly was, but I felt a different pair of eyes. When Jacob and I broke apart, our marriage bound, I looked around, but I saw no one I didn't expect. I smiled, forgetting it, and looking at Jacob. I was happy. I didn't want to ruin it.
-
I followed her scent. She was on the reservation. I knew it wasn't safe to go there, but I had to see her. I was very stealthy. I stayed in the shrubs and bushes, keeping my scent close. I saw there seemed to be a kind of party going on at First Beach. I headed there, and her scent grew stronger.
I looked through the trees, and I saw her. She looked so beautiful. She was glowing. The dense clouds over the beach were ominous, but it was not raining. And I realized what was going on. Bella, my beautiful, wonderful, Isabella, was getting married today. I stopped breathing. My eyes followed her. The ceremony seemed to drag. I registered that it was her friend, Jacob Black, from La Push. He was a werewolf. I could tell from here.
He was gazing at her with obvious love. I couldn't see her face, so I could not see if she was staring lovingly back. I didn't know what I would do if she was. At last, the minister reached the end of the ceremony, but then Jacob Black lifted the small veil over her eyes, looked right into her eyes, and kissed her.
And she kissed him back. It hurt unbearably. But every reason I had left her all those years ago came back. I could never do that with her. I could never her kiss her the way I wanted to. I could never, ever hold her that tightly without killing her. It hurt so much to see him doing everything I want to do with her right in front of my eyes. He was marrying her, kissing her, holding her… He was living my dream. It hurt. I wished I was able to cry.
When Bella and Jacob broke apart, she looked around, as though she expected to see someone unexpected. Perhaps she had noticed my presence. I hid even more discreetly, though I knew her human eyes could not see me.
I couldn't stand this. It was just too much. I was shaking. It hurt too much to bear. The lines of the world were blurring in painful ways. I gasped for air, trying to make it go away. But the pain would no leave. There was a gaping wound in my chest, and it throbbed with pain. I could not understand it. I did not know that pain like this existed.
I heard the procession moving, and felt a raindrop on my nose. I had to move before I was discovered. I got up and stumbled, running away from the oncoming onslaught of pain.
-
Our procession immediately headed towards the reception hall the moment it began to rain. It was a small drizzle, but I didn't want one drop of water to touch my dress. Jake and I hurried towards the cover of the trees, and the moment we were far enough ahead of the crowd, I pulled his face down from its ridiculous height, and I kissed him. I had never done that before. I had never kissed him first. He was startled, and held me close, kissing me back.
We broke off, grinning, and laughing giddily. We ran ahead, hand in hand, laughing. He swung me up into his warm arms, keeping my dress from getting dirty. I kissed him again, relieved to be so happy for the first time in so, so long.
We got into the limo waiting for us, which had been rented from Port Angeles, and once everyone caught up with us, some sputtering for breath and hiding their heads from the rain with their hands, pictures snapped in every direction. I didn't hide from them, but smiled and held tight to Jacob. This was what I needed, and it was working wonders. Maybe I wouldn't curl up into balls of pain as much now.
Once everyone got into their cars, the pictures stopped, and the car doors were closed, it was Jacob, me, and the limo driver. Jacob put up the privacy window between us and the driver, and I caught a glimpse of the driver's face, and he looked thankful. I giggled.
"Well, Miss Isabella Swan," said Jacob playfully, "I do believe that today is the best day of my life. And how does it rate on your list?" I laughed.
"First of all, Mr. Black, my name is not Miss Isabella Swan." I grinned, and he hugged me.
"I was hoping you'd catch that," he said. "So what is your name then?" He was grinning from ear to ear. I had never seen him so happy.
"Why, it's Mrs. Isabella Black," I said, grinning. I was talking the way they talked in my favorite books. It made me very happy to be able to joke around about anything. Everything felt so happy and so comfortable right now. I never wanted it to end.
Jacob and I were happy today, and nothing, nothing, was going to ruin that for us.
-
The reception was held in Port Angeles, so I followed them. At a distance, of course, but I followed them. They headed to a place that looked like it was made just for these occasions – marriage, parties, and things like that. My heart stung as I saw her getting out of her limo, radiating joy, with her new husband, Jacob Black.
I knew I should leave now, more than ever. All that was left in Forks now for me was pain. Bella had completely moved on. She probably had forgotten me completely. I wondered if she had ever found the pictures and tickets underneath her floorboard.
Cameras flashed in every direction in moments. Bella and Jacob had their backs to me, so I couldn't see her face, although I was sure it had a huge smile on it, and I reached out into Jacob Black's mind.
'I can't believe she's taking these pictures so well, I haven't seen her quite this happy since the motorcycles all those years ago! I can't believe that I can feel this happy…'
Jacob turned his head and looked at her lovingly.
I realized that I didn't even know her anymore. She was an entirely different person now, and I was not a part of her life. It hurt to know that I wasn't important to her anymore. I could see that she had truly moved on. She was now married, and I had witnessed that pain myself. I started shaking with dry sobs again. I gasped for air that I did not need, and I put my arms around my chest. I felt as though I were breaking, like my body wasn't functioning correctly anymore.
When I was able to look up again, everyone was gone. They had gone inside, and I could hear happy thoughts coming from the left side of the building. Bella's name rang out in my head and I heard compliments of her beauty and her happiness in different voices in my head.
I knew that I should leave.
I walked closer to the building.
'Masochism, thy name is Cullen,' I thought unhappily.
-
The first dance went well. I tripped once, but I didn't fall on my face because Jake caught me, and I think he made it look like I was supposed to do that. No one laughed, which was nice. We walked and sat down at the head of the bridal party table, and then Angela, Sam, and my father all headed towards the middle of the dance floor.
Speeches. I groaned, and Jacob did as well. My father was first.
"Wow," he said. "My little Bella is all grown up!" I groaned. If this was the start, I didn't even want to imagine the finish. "I remember, years ago, when Bella and Jake started their friendship. I remember, he was fixing her from a terrible hurt." I froze. He wouldn't tell that entire story, would he? "She had been like a zombie, but once Jacob came into her life, she breathed again. She came home happy again. Throughout these years she's done nothing but become happier and happier. I think today is the happiest I have seen her. So I'd just like to congratulate Jacob, for managing to make my little girl and woman, and for managing to make her smile again. Congratulations, Bella and Jake!"
The group clapped for him. It was a short speech, but effective. Charlie hated public speaking, so I didn't hold it against him. In fact, I was glad that it was short, because the shorter the speeches, the sooner they'd be over. I was sure Sam's would be long and amusing, though. Angela was second.
"Well," she said into the microphone, "I must say that I'm very proud of Bella for overcoming every confusion, fear, and silliness she's had in the last few weeks. Marital nerves aren't the nicest things." There was a spatter of chuckles from the married parents in the room. "I remember the day Ben proposed to me." Silence reigned down on the group. Ben Cheney had died the year before in a gruesome car crash. Angela had been crushed. "I was so happy! He told me there was no one else for him in the whole, wide world and I know he meant it. And when I look at you, Bella, and you, Jacob, I know that no one else in the entire world could complement each of you as perfectly as the other. You two are perfect. There's nothing wrong with your picture, and I want you to know, that I am so happy for you. I want you to be happy. I want you to forget any grievances, and I want you to live a long, happy, loving life together. Make things happen. I want you both to live, not just exist. I want you to live your lives. Your love will get you through anything. You will be a very happy couple, I can tell. Congratulations, Bella and Jacob!"
I smiled as Angela raised her small glass of champagne and toasted us, and applause followed her speech. I could see tears in her eyes. Remembering Ben was still hard for her, but she had chosen to do it. She had brought him up for me, to help me realize that she missed Ben the way I still missed Edward. I had never been more grateful to her more than now.
And then Sam hit the microphone. I looked over at Emily, worried that his speech would involve jabs and jokes, and from the look on her face, there would be. I sighed.
"Well," said Sam's deep voice. There was an obviously happy note in it. "Lookee here, everyone. Jakey's a big boy now." Billy Black's laugh rose above everyone else's. Jacob glared, but there was a smile in his eyes. "Jake and I have been friends for a damn long time now," said Sam, plunging into his speech. "We're like brothers." Jacob snorted besides me, and I fought back a grin. "I know that there's no one in this world he loves more than Bella. That's probably a good thing, since Jake has pretty good reflexes." There was an appreciative laugh at my expense.
"Ha ha," I said loudly to Sam. He winked at me.
Sam continued. "But, of course, I also know that Bella needs Jake as much as he needs her. There's no one else here who can make Bella smile the way Jacob can, and when Bella really smiles, we all know that it lights up the entire room." I blushed. Jacob squeezed my hand under the table. "So they compliment each other very well. He needs her, she needs him. They're always happy with each other. They love each other the way they are. And I'm glad that my friend – my brother – has found someone
who will take him and messed up as he is." I grinned. I was glad that Sam had chosen to say that, and even better, not make the jab at me. "So congratulations and a very happy, loving marriage to two people who love each other. Congrats!" There was another toast, and finally, the speeches ended. Music stuck up, and the waiters brought out the food for our dinner. I smiled at Jake, and he leaned over and kissed me on the cheek.
Halfway through dinner, Embry, who two seats away from Jacob, stiffened. He leaned over to Sam, and whispered something. Sam leaned in to Jacob and said something quietly as well. I heard Jacob's reply.
"I don't think we need to worry. The essence of that one is still around town. I think that's the problem, and I really just don't want to think about it today. I've smelled it off and on today, and I just don't want to think about it."
"What?" I asked Jacob the moment he leaned away from Sam.
"Embry smelled vampire," said Jake quietly. "I think it's just the leftover smell from the one we got a few days ago. Besides, if it's a new one, we can deal with it tomorrow." He smiled at me, and kissed me lightly. I felt a little better, but the idea of vampires was not welcome right now. I agreed with Jacob – I did not want to think about it right now either. I pushed it to the back of my mind, and looked around the room, letting a smile return to my face.
-
'I'm smelling vampire,' thought one of the werewolves. I flinched a little. I didn't want a confrontation. I heard the werewolves whispering about a vampire they had killed recently, and they dismissed the thought. I sighed with relief. That meant that my presence was not obvious. I looked around the corner into the room again, looking quickly through the eyes of those who might have been able to see me. None noticed.
I turned my eyes to her. She was smiling and laughing. She looked whole, and happy. I wondered if she wanted me next to her instead of her werewolf. I doubted it. My heart squeezed painfully and a lump rose in my throat. I was near another set of sobs. I wished I could cry. I was sure that if I could, things might seem a little less bad.
The humans and werewolves finished their food, and then the dancing began. Bella danced carefully with her werewolf, holding onto him tightly. He held onto her tightly as well, keeping her from falling.
I watched for what felt like hours. Every time she laughed, every time she tripped and he caught her, every time he kissed her, it was a stab to my long unfeeling heart. The pain I had experienced before was nothing to this. But I stayed. I saw her there, laughing and smiling and whole, and I could not bring myself to leave.
But then she turned. She was headed straight towards me. I left immediately, through the front door. I jumped up into the roof lightly. I figured it was the safest place to hide, and thanks to the trees surrounding the building, no one would see me and wonder how insane I was.
Of course, she walked outside.
There were chairs underneath the awning that protected her from the rain, and she sat down on one, taking a deep breath.
She didn't move for a while, and I looked down from on the roof. I could not see her, so jumped into the awning, hoping she wouldn't notice. She didn't seem to, and I looked over the edge on the side and I saw her sitting there quietly. The look on her face was hard to gauge. It had been so long since I had tried to read it.
Then she whispered.
-
"If you had showed up today, I wonder if I would have stopped," I whispered quietly to myself. I was talking to Edward again. It had been my newest way to drive away the pain. "If you had interrupted the wedding, or shown up at my window, and said everything over again, I don't know what I would have done."
I sat and listened to the rain fall for a while. I knew I would have to get back soon. As the bride, I was entitled to be at the wedding.
"Is that seat taken?" said a hesitant, familiar voice. I turned, and thought I had died.
He was here. He was right there in front of me. I stopped breathing, and then it came back, gasping, coughing, and making unintelligible noises. He looked afraid. I stood up and backed away, tripping backward.
He caught me.
"I-I wouldn't want your dress to get dirty," he said, letting me go the instant I was balanced. He backed away from me.
I stared at him, taking him in for the first time in six years. My memories had been so flawed. It was unbelievable. What was he doing here? How could he do this to me? He had promised that he would never come back!
I couldn't say anything, and he seemed to be waiting for me to say something. I couldn't. I couldn't get any words out. Edward was here. He was right here, three feet away from me. And I didn't know what I could do besides stand here and stare at him.
"Congratulations," he offered eventually. My mouth was still open as I nodded. What was there to say to him now? Everything flooded back – the memories I would not let myself think of – the ones that caused me unimaginable pain.
"Come for a walk with me."
"Bella, we're leaving."
"Bella, I don't want you to come with me."
"You… don't… want me?"
"No."
"If… that's what you want."
He looked terrified, suddenly, as though he knew what I was remembering. But he couldn't – he couldn't see into my mind.
"Th-Thank you," I said finally, knowing it was much too late. The words came out choked anyway. I was breathing heavily.
"You seem… very happy…" he said, staring at the ground. He sounded as though he were afraid of his own voice. "I'm… happy… for you…" It was like he was forcing the words out; like he was afraid they would come out wrong if he didn't take care to push them out the right way.
"Y-Yes," I said, unsure if I was lying or not. "I haven't been… this happy… in a – a long time…" I couldn't believe this was happening. I had to ask. "What – What are you doing here?" He flinched. He had been hoping I wouldn't ask.
"I don't know," he said. I wasn't sure if he was lying or not. He glanced up at me, and I saw the golden topaz of his eyes. My heart stopped again. I had completely forgotten how beautiful he was.
"Oh," I said.
-
Her one, small, simple word opened a floodgate. I had to tell her. I didn't want to, it was so unfair, but the words just poured out of my mouth.
"I'm here because I miss you so much," I said suddenly. "I love you. I love you still, so much. There's no one else in the world I could love the way I love you. I've been hurting all these years. You're still so beautiful. I can't stand it. I can't stand being away from you, but I know I can have no claim on you now. You're… married. You're Mrs..." I gulped. "Mrs... Him. I have no right to come back here and tell you this, but I need to tell you… You still have my heart. I've wanted to tell you this for years. I've been wanting to give it to you for years. My heart, it's yours. It will always be yours. I know I can't take this back ever. But I can't change it either. I love you so much, Bella."
The look of horror on her face hurt. It wasn't disgust, but horror. She could not believe what she was hearing. I had probably ruined her wedding day. I could not believe that I had managed to ruin everything. I had ruined her future and her past. What was wrong with me?
"Do you hate me that much, that you're going to try to mess up my wedding day?" she said finally, her words strangled with pain.
"No," I said fervently. "But… But you just… have to know…"
"It would have been better for me not to know. You left me, Edward. You left me. You're right; you have absolutely no right to do this. Especially not on my wedding day. Do you have any idea what I've been through?"
I shook my head. "No, I don't."
"Exactly."
There was silence. It was very awkward.
"Edward," she said finally. I looked up at her. She was so beautiful in her wedding dress.
"Yes?" I said.
"I love you," she said. "I have always loved you, and I will always love you. But I can't do to Jacob what you did to me. I love him. I can't leave him now."
"I don't expect you to," I said. I had hoped she would take me anyway though. I couldn't change her mind.
"Then… you should probably… leave," she said, and I could hear that she did not want to say it. "I wish you didn't have to, but you should. I couldn't make my life go on if you stayed. Tell – Tell Alice I miss her, please, though. If she wants to talk to me, she's welcome to. Can you tell her to email me, if she wants to?"
I nodded, knowing that the invitation was not open to me as well. I knew that it would cause both of us too much pain. Besides, if I needed to say anything to Bella, I could always email through Alice. And I would always ask Alice to ask for pictures of Bella and her life, no matter how much it hurt.
"Of course I'll tell her," I said. "She misses you, too." She smiled a little, and I couldn't stop myself. I moved closer to her. She froze, but I didn't stop. I reached out and touched her face.
-
His skin was so cold. I hadn't remembered how cold it was. He brushed his hand against my face, but then immediately backed away again, apologizing.
"I'm so sorry," he said. "I shouldn't have done that. I should go, I'm sorry." He turned to go.
"Goodbye, Edward," I said quietly. I knew that I could survive this time. I knew it would be difficult, and I knew that every moment I was alone for a long time I would remember this moment and cry. But I also knew that there was no way for us anymore. I knew that this was all we had. We had pain, and we had no chance of making it anymore. There was Jacob, there was vampire, there was age, there was the past, and there was no future. There was nothing for us.
"Goodbye," he said.
And then Edward left.