It was night on the island of Sodor. The crickets near Tidmouth Sheds were oddly silent, noted Thomas, as his fireman cooled his firebox. As his door clanged shut, his fireman, Sandy hopped down from the cab.
"Night, Tommie." He said, patting Thomas' buffer. "Keep an eye out for James. Word's gone around that he isn't feeling the best of ways."
"Okay! Sure!" Responded Thomas, already drifting off to sleep.
Thomas slowly opened his eyes when he heard the sound of pistons. James had backed into his stall, next to Edward. Curious, Thomas listened without a sound."Hello, Edward." James mentioned, startling the old engine awake. Well, actually, James and Edward are roughly the same age. "Are you awake?"
"Now I am." Replied Edward softly, blinking his eyes slowly. "What do you need?"
"First off, I'm really sorry for waking you up at this time of night."
"Oh, that's quite alright. We haven't talked like this in ages!"
"But I have come to ask you something. What if we woke up as humans?"
"Oh, I suppose…", Wondered Edward, "I think everything would be okay."
"Oh. Thanks." Replied James, all pride lost in his voice.
"James, are you okay? You pulled the Kipper voluntarily, didn't complain about pulling trucks, and I haven't seen you all day! Is something bothering you?"
"Nothing." Came the reply. "You should sleep, Edward. Goodnight!"
"Oh…"
Thomas disregarded the whole conversation completely. It didn't seem to any importance to him, although, he remembered Emily saying something to him about James always weeshing a little more steam. It was nothing.
The day dawned bright and early above the Island of Sodor. Everything seemed calm as the Kipper was prepared. But looks can be deceiving.
The first scream came from Henry.
"My god!" He yelled. "Gordon, Percy, Thomas, anyone, help!"
Lo and behold, a naked Henry was stumbling around the yard. The human Henry was well over six feet tall and built like a heavy lifter. Then, Percy also half-crawled, half stumbled into the yard.
"Henry! Is that you? We look like humans!" Percy screamed.
"That's because we are humans!" Yelled Edward, who was trying to find something to, well, cover up with.
Soon, all the engines were awake, butt-naked and scared. Well, all except Gordon, who was complaining about how cold he was. They were completely oblivious to the fact that they were all naked, until their drivers came along.
"Oi! You there! Out, or we call the police!"
"Sandy?" Yelled Thomas, wobbling over to his driver.
"Oh, my god. My god. God!" Sandy exclaimed, shedding his jacket and draping it over Thomas' bare shoulders.
"You all need some clothes." James' driver, Ed, called after realizing that Emily was naked along with the rest of the engines. Well, all except Edward, who had the sense to drape a blanket found in his cab.
"And what about the locomotives?" Asked Max, Edward's driver, peeking around the corner.
"My god! They are the same- no faces!"
"Nevermind the engines." Replied Sandy. "Just give them your coats and usher them into the break room! Quickly, now!"
Everyone did as they were told. The engines (or humans) had a hard time walking, so with their driver's coats hanging over their shoulders, the held onto their driver's hands as they slowly got the hang of walking.
Ed opened the door, and the newly-humanized engines walked (or half-wobbled) into the sitting room, plopping down onto the sofa and floor, still completely oblivious the fact that they were naked. This made their drivers and firemen uncomfortable, for they had their privates exposed for the world to see.
Edward was turned away, embarrassed. "Well, at least he's got a sense of dignification." Mentioned his driver, Max, as he gave Edward a night-shirt. Hastily, Edward pulled it over his body, as he had seen numerous people do.
Sandy turned to the new humans. "You are humans."
Gordon made a face. Gordon was built almost the same way as Henry, except a little shorter. "Oh, the indignity." He moaned, patting himself down to get the feel of his body.
"Yes, that's where I would like to begin." Continued Sandy. "Your new bodies probably are unfamiliar to you."
Thomas raised his hand, just as he had seen numerous school children do. "What's this?" He asked, pointing to his genitalia. Everybody else looked down at theirs- except Emily.
"Mine's different!" She observed, earning herself a nightgown to drape over her body.
"That's, um, your privates. People might make fun, no, they will make fun of you for it. So, under no circumstances, do not show them to anybody."
Everyone immediately covered up, ears turning red.
There was a knock at the door. Sir Topham Hatt stalked in, and was taken aback by the amount of half-naked people in the room.
"My word! So this is where all the engines are!" He stated, looking over everyone. "Everybody here..is so...aesthetically pleasing?" He finished, repositioning his top hat. "I want Sandy and Ed to stay here. The rest of you, back to work!"
The shuffling of feet and 'yes sir's' filled the room. After everybody but Sandy and Ed were gone, Sir Topham Hatt turned to the eight. "I expect that Ed and Sandy will take you into town, and then it's back to work! I expect you all to be at my office at Knapford by eight in the evening." He said, as he gave a hundred pound note to each person.
Sandy and Ed whispered to each other, "he is fucking rich!"
The morning dragged on, with the two drivers giving the engines-um, new humans, a lesson on how to get dressed, eat, write (basically) and use the restroom.
Everyone was waiting in the waiting room, dressed in simple shirts and shorts. The drivers felt bad for Emily, because she didn't have a bra. But that didn't matter. What mattered was how, um, some of the males had gotten, aroused.
"Should we give them the talk?" Asked Sandy, looking at Ed.
"No, I don't think they would need that. They are innocent, after all."
"But, what if, they went into a love store by accident?"
"They wouldn't, I know that!" Replied Ed, making it final.
"Alright, let's catch the express and we'll drop you guys off at Vicarstown." Said Sandy, addressing the whole group.
"The express? Does that mean I'll get to see my coaches?" Asked Gordon, excitedly, as they made their way to the train station.
Gordon was right. But they didn't get to ride in the cab. They rode in the coaches. After the stationmaster blew his whistle, they felt the coaches lurch, then move.
Everybody was awed.
"So this is what it's like to ride in a coach." Wondered Thomas out loud, gazing out the window.
"My word! The ride is so bumpy!" Noticed Gordon, who was holding onto Henry's thigh. They still didn't know that this was considered an act of romantic intent. Actually, they all didn't know what romance, or even emotions were.
They approached the station, and as they got off, they batted like small children at the steam. Ed and Sandy had already explained the concept of currency to Edward, who had a steady grip on human ways.
"Good luck!" Ed and Sandy said as they shooed them off to the main street, where they could find some undergarments and clothing for themselves.
The first shop was a hit, it was, in fact, a retail store. Edward herded them all into the men's isle, where the ideal clothing was.
"Okay everyone, listen up. Pick out a shirt", he held up said garment, "That fits. Then bring it to me, you all need one!" He said, as Thomas, James, Gordon, Henry, Toby and Percy fanned out into the isles of shirts.
"Emily, come with me. You need a bra."
"A what?"
"A bra."
"What's that?"
"An undergarment which holds up your breasts." He mentioned to Emily's, who looked down.
"Huh. That would be nice, you know."
"I bet it would be."
Edward flagged down a bra fitter, who whisked Emily away into whatever she needed. Sighing, he looked back, only to find Gordon, who was holding up a blue shirt. As he got closer, he overheard Henry's And Gordon's conversation.
"Are you sure that would fit?" Asked Henry, holding it up to Gordon's torso.
"I don't know, does your shirt fit you?" Replied Gordon, mentioning at the green shirt with flowers that Henry had picked up.
"Actually," interrupted Edward, "You can try it on! Here, follow me to the fitting rooms." And with that, he led the way to the fitting rooms. Once they had arrived at their destination, Gordon pointed to the biggest one.
"C'mon, Henry, lets try it in there!" He said, completely losing the whole 'I am the best' attitude, and gaining an attitude of that of a child in a sweets shop.
"Oh, alright." Henry complied, letting Gordon drag him away into the small space. Before Edward could object that it wasn't a good idea (both men were quite large), Gordon had closed the door.
"Here, let me help you." Said Henry, chuckling at the way Gordon struggled to get the white cotton shirt over his head. "Hold up your hands!" He asked, and as Gordon complied, nevermind much groaning, Henry eventually slid the garment off.
"It's so cold!" Gordon complained, wrapping huge arms around a huge chest.
"Buck up, Gordon. Here." Henry tugged the blue shirt onto Gordon, who complained even more. In the end, the shirt fit loosely, which Gordon was happy about.
"Okay, now put your other shirt back on."
Gordon complained even more, groaning 'oh the indignity's' and complaining that Henry was taller. Finally, Henry finally managed to wrestle the white shirt back on.
Gordon then got his revenge.
Henry yelped as Gordon tore his shirt off, and as Henry jumped up and down for his other shirt, said: "Ha! Revenge!"
Henry groaned, giving up, and tugged on the green shirt.
"Does it look like it fits?" Inquired Henry, still flustered with Gordon.
"Yes, it does. A little tight around, the, um...what is it...shoulders." Was the review.
"Okay, then. Could you please give back my shirt?" Asked Henry, who was trying to pull off the green one.
Due to their size, (no, I mean really, these guys are large, like, Henry is 6'4" and Gordon is 6'2.5" and completely ripped), they were squished, and it was harder still after not having Gordon give him back his white shirt.
"Gordon! If anybody walks in on us, they might be thinking something else! Please give back my shirt!" Henry demanded, reaching, and sweeping the shirt out of Gordon's grip.
"Okay, fine. Hrmph." Pouted Gordon, who pushed back against Henry, who was leaning on the door.
But here's the catch: Gordon didn't lock the door. So the two tumbled out onto one another, right at the feet of an Emily clad in a dark green dress.
"Gay." Was all she said, as Gordon and Henry tried to untangle themselves.
"Sorry, what?" Asked Henry, dusting himself off.
"It's when two men have romantic intent towards each other." Explained wise old Toby, who was now wearing a tan button-up.
"Pah! I wouldn't fall in love with Henry!" Pouted Gordon, who stalked away to Edward to buy the shirt, along with Henry.
"Mm-hm." Mumbled Emily, elbowing Toby.
"Ow! Hey, I just gave the definition."
"Not that it's a bad thing." She countered, setting off with Thomas and Percy, with James following.