The Art of Moving On
Summary: A year on, Haruno Sakura is still struggling to find a closure for a crush that she had given up but not moved on from.
Warning(s): This is an K-rated Sakura/Sasori oneshot with possible OOC and AU storyline. Loosely linked to "Just A Crush".
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and this story is just a figment of my imagination.
"You don't need strength to let go of something. What you really need is understanding."
Guy Finley
"I have something to tell you," Haruno Sakura struggled to compose her feelings and chewed her lips a few times before letting the long-harboured intentions roll out, "I like you."
The man at the receiving end of her confession looked shocked but was quick to smile at her, "That's really nice to hear but I've a girlfriend."
"Okay," she flashed a smile, mentally scolding herself for not checking out the facts before jumping into this.
Her latest crush, Deidara, a tall lanky blonde with luscious hair and a permanent smile on his face, had rejected her and Sakura found herself unable to understand guys. Suddenly, a smile was just a smile. A friendly gesture was just a friendly gesture. Those questionable side looks he gave were just teasing. It made sense why he never responded to her signals. But, she still wanted to wallop him in the head for flashing his torso now and then.
What a tease indeed.
Two months on, she was still struggling to move forward. She put more hours into her work, socialised a bit more than usual, tried to be friends with Deidara but nothing seemed to permanently abate the sense of despair. It did not help that her work supervisor had decided to put in another colleague's name for a major project for their company. The last month had been about her trying to keep her work and personal life balanced and she had started to see some breakthrough lately, to her relief.
"This concludes our seminar for today. Please stay for some refreshment at the back of the room."
Clapping along with the crowd, she grabbed her bag and stood up to leave. Having been late, the rose-haired woman felt guilty that she had blanked out fifteen minutes towards the end of the seminar. The seminar had been a long one on the current state of mining in Konoha. As she walked along the aisle to the back of the auditorium, she contemplated grabbing a drink to soothe her nerves for the long ride home before leaving. Networking was not something she enjoyed but she should give it a go.
A glass of champagne later, she found herself chatting amicably with the speaker when she noticed a flash of red hair in her line of sight. The conversation pattered to an end and Sakura made an excuse to take leave. Quickly gleaning the crowd when the speaker turned away, her jade eyes met his amber ones across the room.
Dub dub, dub dub.
She flashed a quick smile before taking a glass of water to calm herself down.
No, Sakura, you may be unable to move forward but don't ever move backward, alright?
She flushed at the thought.
Some nights, when she wanted to thoroughly push Deidara out of her mind, she had focussed of her red-haired crush instead. Part of her had assured that he was someone that she had liked in the past and at least she wouldn't have to face him on a daily basis, which would make things easier. Fantasies were just fantasies after all. Placing the empty glass on the table, she made her way to the door of the conference room.
Just as she reached the door, she looked over her shoulder and saw him looking at her briefly before returning his attention to the group of men around him. She felt a sharp pain and realised her lips were sore.
"Did you strike a conversation?"
Watching Sakura choke on her lemon lime bitter while simultaneously glaring at her, Ino smirked and smacked her back hard a few times.
"So, did you?" the blonde-haired woman pushed on although she knew the answer.
"I just can't think when he's around."
"You don't hate him, do you?"
Sakura thought of the unanswered email she had sent when he had left.
"Not really."
She did not feel it right to blame him for never replying. He had his own reasons or as Ino suggested, he might not have seen it at all.
"So you like him."
She had to grudgingly agree, "I guess I do." Why else would her heart start racing at the sight of him? She began to understand Sai who had told her about the difference between giving up and letting go.
Ino gave a "go figure" look to which, Sakura started to defend herself, "I have given up on him when I decided to move on to Deidara."
"Yea, but that doesn't mean you can't chat and be friends. What harm does it do?"
"When I give up on someone, I find it best not think of the pros and cons of re-establishing connection in the future. I have enough on my plate as it is."
Ino kept her mouth shut, not wanting to make things worse. Being sidelined by her work supervisor had pushed Sakura's confidence level to a new low.
"Anyway, forget it. I've long thought he probably has a girlfriend back in Suna. Why else would he not talk to me?" Sakura argued and finished off her drink. Ino hummed in reply before relating to her about a recent event.
"Speaking of Suna, one of my friends moved to Suna to work a few months ago. I heard from Temair that she had a stroke yesterday."
"Oh god. That's so sad. Is she okay?"
"Apparently, she's still in coma."
Sakura frowned slightly and squished the slice of lemon in her drink with the straw.
"Is she our age?"
"Yea, she was a year above us while we're at Uni. Don't think you've met her before though."
"We're still young so we just don't care about it till something happens, then we became more health-conscious."
"True," the blonde woman downed her orange juice and looked out of the bar window where harassed-looking workers were travelling home in the drizzle, "Life is so fragile."
The image of him flashed through Sakura's mind as she stirred her empty glass absent-mindedly.
"Yea, it is..."
Snuggling comfortably into her bed, Sakura grabbed the black book she had left on the side table. She had kept a small diary when she started to harbour feelings for that man and subsequently, Deidara. It had been a year since then. When he left that summer, she thought he was one of those whose chapter in her life was over. But he still occassionally turned up in her life when she least expected it.
I shall try... to talk to him if I ever see him again. She ended her latest entry and read through the page, fixing minor mistakes.
Life is so fragile.
Ino's words kept playing in her mind for the past few days. She had meant it when she said she did not want to think of the pros and cons of talking to Sasori. To think of it was to hope and expect an outcome, which if unfavourable, would lead her to another bleeding heart episode. But she couldn't keep living in fear of rejection. Then, as if the thought just came to her, she penned in another line of thought.
Closure - to let go is to understand.
It was a month before Sakura managed to find time to meet up with Ino. Her workload had increased with managing a new project in the mining site. Sakura decided to visit the local secondhand bookshop while waiting for Ino to meet up. She made a purchase for a book and exited the store when her phone started to ring.
"Hello, Ino. What's up?" she balanced the phone with her head against her shoulder while trying to deposit the book into her handbag when someone bumped into her. Her book fell onto the floor and she managed to grab onto her phone before it joined her book on the ground.
"I'm sorry."
"It's alright," Sakura laughed in embarrassment for not securing her book in the first place and looked up at the speaker, only to cut short her laughter. Her heart began to race as she took in his pale blue dress shirt and black slacks which somehow brought out the colour of his hair.
"Sasori."
"Sakura."
It was the first time he said her name and she felt shiver tingling along her spine. His amber eyes swept down to the book by her feet and he bent down to collect her book before handing it back to her.
Closure.
- End -