A/N: Let me just say that I wasn't in the best mood when I wrote this. It's gonna be confusing, sad, and depressing once you figure it out.
:: ::= thoughts
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It had been five years since the D-reaper devoured half the city. Hirokazu sat by the window, staring at the rain. Nature's constant humming, pattering,
and beating soothes wrinkled spirits, someone had told him once. Someone else, someone only living in memories, told him that they were lullabies.
When he was a little boy, he used to be dead scared of rain, mainly thunderstorms. At night, when the lightning and the cracking noises were at its worst, he would climb into his parents' bed and snuggle in between them. When his parents woke, they found no surprise seeing him there again. His thumb was stuck inside his mouth, his hair mused to one side, and he constantly repositioned to find comfort. Night after rain fallen night, his mother carried him back to his room, tucked him in, and sang him a quiet lullaby to calm his conscience down. When he woke, he was always back in his own bed, and assumed it was all a dream. Then one day his problem with thunderstorms was solved: his friend, his best friend to say the least, Yuki, had a sleepover and of course Hirokazu was invited.
**Flashback**
"Yuki?" Hirokazu tugged his friend's shirt. "Before all the big boys get here, I have to tell you something really 'portant."
"Alright buddy, shoot."
"Well, it's um, thunderstorming outside, and well, whenever thunderstorms come, um, I get, uh, an insy weensy bit scared.... Not that I get scared easily." Hirokazu spat out quickly.
Yuki smiled. "Don't worry, just think of thunderstorms as lullabies sung by," he paused. "God."
"What's a lullabies?" Hirokazu was confused.
"Do you remember those songs your mom used to sing you when you were a baby to help you sleep?"
"Uh huh. She still sings them to me."
Yuki smiled at Hirokazu's innocence."Well, those are lullabies. So think of thunderstorms as songs from God."
"Will they help me sleep better?" Hirokazu asked.
"Of course."
"Thanks Yuki." Hirokazu smiled.
"Anytime kiddo, anytime." Yuki grinned.
**End Flashback**
Yuki was Hirokazu's best friend. Yuki had promised to always be there for Hirokazu whenever he needed him. "I still remember that promise Yuki, but do you?" Hirokazu whispered softly.
**Flashback**
"HI YUKI!!!!" Hirokazu hollered as he opened the door to let Yuki come into his house.
"Hey there buddy! What's up?" Yuki stepped in with a smile.
"The sky silly!" Hirokazu giggled.
Yuki chuckled. "I should've known. So, why'd you ask me to come over?" He looked at Hirokazu's shadowed face as it stared at the ground. "Not that I wouldn't want to come or anything." He assured quickly, smiling as a cover up.
Hirokazu sighed. "Well, it's about, um, actually, you. You've been spending so much time with Kiwi or whatever her name is. You never even have time to talk to me anymore. Is she more important than me? Did I do something to make you angry? Whatever I did to make you mad, I promise I won't do it again, honest! I'm sowwie, Please forgive me!" Hirokazu burst into tears.
"If you mean Kiki, of course she's not more important than you. She's just not less important either." Yuki sighed as he embraced the sobbing Hirokazu. "I'm not angry at you, in fact, I should be the one apologizing. Here's a promise, and let me tell ya, I won't ever make a promise like this to anyone else in the world." Yuki put his hand on his heart. "I promise that if you ever ever need me, just call and I'll be glad to help."
"Do you really mean that?" Hirokazu sniffed, wiping his eye.
"I promise that with my life." Yuki wiped one of Hirokazu's rolling tears.
"You may be fourteen but that promise might be too hard for you to keep."
"Could you keep that same promise for me too?"
"Of course!" Hirokazu smiled.
"Then if a six year old can keep it, I can too!" Yuki laughed, grinning widely.
**End Flashback**
::Then one day, Yuki, you broke. I didn't like seeing you that way, but I guess human nature doesn't let any of us be God.::
**Flashback**
"Sometimes, do you ever need to cry, but the tears don't come? And then, there's only that last resort. Everyone needs someone; but of course, that's what people who have someone say. But, what if you have no one but yourself? I have everybody but the only person I can tell this to is a six year old. Pretty pathetic, huh?" Yuki sighed sadly to Hirokazu who was sitting next to him on a swing.
"What do ya mean?" Hirokazu asked, confused at his friend's words.
"One day, maybe not now Hirokazu, you'll know exactly what I mean." Yuki answered softly.
"Are you lonely? Is that it?"
"Now I am..." Yuki started to tremble as he gripped the swing tighter.
"You're my bestest and onlyest friend in the whole wide world." Hirokazu replied with a sniffle as he watched Yuki put his head in his hands. "I don't like seeing you this way Yuki! It makes me sad too. Whenever I see you, there's always a smile on your face. Why not now?"
"I can smile, one more time, but, only for you." Yuki slowly looked up from the ground. His lips curved gradually into a smile, sad, but nevertheless, a smile.
"Thanks Yuki."
"Will you do me a favor Hirokazu?"
"Uh huh. What is it?"
"Even when I can't smile, you still can. Remember that. Wherever you are, however you feel, do everyone, do me, a favor and lighten the mood."
"Okay, but why?"
"Angels can only visit happy places." Yuki replied.
"Oh, okay."
"I have to go now. G-goodbye Hirokazu. I'll never forget you."
"Of course you won't, you'll see me tomorrow, right?"
"It's not a promise Hirokazu." Yuki outstretched his arms.
Hirokazu jumped into Yuki's embrace immediately and laughed. "You're silly Yuki! I'm glad you're my best friend!" Hirokazu laughed happily.
Yuki slowly stood up. "Goodbye champ."
"Until next time! Which I hope is soon!" Hirokazu waved.
"Until next time kiddo, until next time..." Yuki whispered.
**End Flashback**
::I never saw Yuki again... ::
**Flashback**
"Hi daddy! Can Yuki maybe come over today?" Hirokazu pleaded.
"Hirokazu, I-I hate to tell you this but, but Yuki," His father paused. "Yuki is dead."
Hirokazu laughed. "Nice joke daddy. So, can he come over?"
"I'm not joking, he died yesterday because he committed suic- I, uh, I mean he was in a car accident." His father struggled with words.
"Daddy, this isn't funny anymore. Stop it!" Hirokazu put his hands on his ears. "Tell me the truth daddy... Yuki's not dead, is he?"
His father nodded solemnly.
Hirokazu stared at his father in disbelief and was overcome by shock, sadness, and anger. "NO, NO, NO!!! LIAR!!! I'M GOING OVER TO HIS HOUSE RIGHT NOW AND HE'S GONNA BE THERE!!!" Hirokazu screamed. "He'll-he'll be there, him and his goofy smile, waiting, waiting for me..." He whispered. "He's gonna be there, he promised he'd always be there for me..." He choked through tears.
"Sorry son..." His father scratched his head. "That was too big of a promise for him to keep."
Days later at Yuki's funeral....
"Hirokazu, would you like to say a few words?" His mother asked.
Hirokazu nodded and walked up to the grave. "God sent me his best angel and he just had to take him back. I know you need him more than me God, so please take care him." He whispered softly. ::I know you couldn't keep your promise to me Yuki but I can still smile for you. Goodbye," Hirokazu paused. "One last time." Hirokazu wiped away more tears.
**End Flashback**
::I'm not stupid and blind like I used to be. Yuki, now I know it wasn't a car crash. Mom yelled at Dad for not telling me the truth before. You killed yourself, you slit your neck. I know why, it was over Kiki. She's probably out of college now. She didn't go to your funeral, but I still did. I miss you everyday, and I keep smiling, just for you. I keep looking over pictures of you, I can't find the tears I need to cry, now I know what you meant when you said that. I still remember what you said, the last day I ever saw you. I could call you a wimp for escaping the pains of earth because it hurt you too much, but I'm not. That's because I might make the same decision as you.:: Hirokazu stood up from his chair. ::Thank you for watching over me Yuki but it'll feel much better to see your face again.::
Hirokazu walked over to the kitchen and opened a drawer; a drawer full of knives...
A/N: sorry if it was confusing, but like i said, this was a fic i wrote when i wasn't feelin all too great about "life" as a whole.... my pet rabbit died and i broke up with my b/f...review if you want, maybe if i get enough, i'll be motivated enough to write another chapter...