Are you there God? It's me, Freddie. Today I went to Build A Bra with Carly and Sam. I built a pretty pink bra with purple sequins. But I'm still flat, God. When am I going to get my breasts? I'll do all my chores and take my tick baths without crying if you just help me grow.
Are you there God? It's me, Freddie. Sam got her first period today, God. She took off her bloody maxi pad and threw it at Gibby in the cafeteria. Now I'm going to be the last in our group to get it. Why, God? My breasts are starting to grow. They're bigger than Carly's. When am I going to get my period?
Are you there God? It's me, Freddie. My mother is worried that I don't have leg hair yet, God. She said I should be shaving by now because the ticks might be hiding on my legs. She bought me some pink razors just in case. When Mom wasn't looking, I took some of her tampons to practice with, but I couldn't figure out how to put them on.
Are you there God? It's me, Freddie. It's the middle of the night and I can't sleep. I'm worried that my hair isn't soft and shiny. I double shampoo everyday and brush it with fifty strokes and it's still not as pretty as the other girls!
Are you there God? It's me, Freddie. Spencer noticed me today, God. He asked me to go on a camping trip together, just me and him. What should I wear? I know he is mildly retarded and too old for me, but I think he's very handsome. Please let Spencer see how pretty I'm growing up to be, God. Please help me be pretty.
Are you there God? It's me, Freddie. What is happening to me, God? My breasts have gotten bigger, but other than that I don't know what's going on. My face has gotten longer and not as cute, I got taller so I had to throw out my platform shoes, and my voice sounds like a frog. And still no sign of my period!
Are you there God? It's me, Freddie. I ran crying over to Carly's house last night after I talked to you. Spencer explained why I haven't gotten my period yet, and why I've gotten so awkward. Boys don't get it, and boys are different from girls in some ways. And it's okay that I'm a boy and that I'm changing, because guess what? Spencer likes men anyway. He and Socko have been going out for a long time in secret. So there's hope that Spencer will some day notice me. Thanks, God! Everything worked out after all.