Written for a dragon age kink meme prompt (http:/ /dragonage-kink .livejournal. com/4251. html?thread=10972827#t10972827), Fenris starts having thoughts/feelings/fantasies about Anders.

This occurs exactly after Raiders on the Cliffs, and after Dissent and Night Terror with a small alteration on the encounter with the demons particularly the party was separated and each one had to face their desires. So Justice ends up saving them as Caress couldn't tempt him.

Hawke here is a genderbent version of my canon Hawkette. As a man Hawkette's personality has changed just slightly so that's my excuse if he comes off a bit girly.

Polarity

"From the deepest desires often comes the deadliest hate." — Socrates

"Glaring at me isn't going to make me disappear anytime soon."

Fenris scowled but turned his gaze away from the mage seated on the opposite side of the camp. The sun had long since descended from the horizon, the campfire provided warmth against the cold night air that sent a chill thru his bandaged torso. His chest plate had been removed earlier to allow Anders to bandage the elf, since he vehemently refuse the mage's healing magic. Fenris knew he was being stubborn but Void take him, he wasn't about to admit any weakness to the mage.

Seeing the elf shiver, Anders said, "You know I could – "

"I don't need your help." Fenris interrupted.

"Pigheaded git..." Anders muttered under his breath.

Hawke and Isabela were out scouting the parameter of their campsite for raiders they may have missed, thus leaving him with only the mage for company. Fenris had done his best to keep his mind occupied, but that was proving more difficult as time passed.

The desire demon stood before him, smiling seductively as she approached. His mind screamed at him to slay the creature but something stayed his hand. Her alluring voice echoed as she spoke, "Your hatred for him stems from so much more than just your hatred of magic. You desire him writhing beneath you. Calling out you name in the throes of pleasure and pain."

Fenris groaned burying his face in the palms of his hands as memories of his encounter with the desire demon resurfaced from the back of his mind. They were easier to ignore when he was occupied with something. But now… here he was alone with the accursed mage, with nothing to keep his mind from drifting to the mage in question. If there was ever a time Fenris regretted helping Hawke, now was such a time. If he had not agreed to go into the Fade, he wouldn't be feeling like this.

A soft light engulfs the demon's body and in a flash the light and demon was gone, in the demons place was Anders. The demon – Anders – stopped mere inches from him.

"Do not toy with me demon. I have no love for the abomination."

"And yet you in battle you've stood near me, cutting down those who would harm me."

"It should come to no surprise the abomination is the only healer among us."

Anders shook his head and smirked, "Healer or not, you know as well as I. Hawke doesn't need me to accomplish his goals. So why do you defend me? Why not let me fall in battle. Hawke would not blame you should that happen."

"I owe Hawke my freedom and… he is fond of the mage."

"You believe I am a threat to everyone around me. Or have you forgotten how I had almost killed that girl and Hawke. If you truly wished to protect Hawke, you would have killed me then. Even if Hawke was fond of me, you know in the long run he is better off without me."

Hawke had been an idiot to stand between the circle mage and the abomination. Fenris could have killed the distracted abomination easily, but he had chosen to stay his hand. Why? He had always reason it was because of Hawke. But was that really the only reason?

Seeing the Fenris lost in thought, Anders took one of his hands and seductively licked his fingers.

All thoughts halted and were subsequently forgotten. All Fenris was aware of was the of the healer's tongue, he shivered at the pleasant sensation.

"H… he loves Hawke."

A feline smile spread across Anders's face before gently kissed his index finger and said, "I am over Hawke. Should you help me however, I will be yours. To hate and to love. To hurt and care for."

Before Fenris could give his answer, Anders frowned and backed off. With a flash of magic, the desire demon returned to her true form before disappearing all together in the fog that surrounded them.

"Fenris! You okay?" Hawke had appeared seemingly out of nowhere, placing a hand on his shoulder. Anders – no – Justice stood behind him.

Fenris gaze was still on the hand Anders' had licked and kissed. Conflicting emotions swirled in his mind, uncertainty however reined prominent among them.

Confusion played on Hawke's own face as he looked at his elven companion, "Fenris? You there?"

Justice gave an impatient sigh, "The demon has retreated further into her realm." he said as walked past Fenris and Hawke, "We should not tarry, if we wish to save Feynriel."

"Yes ser." Hawke said as he grabbed Fenris's arm and followed the spirit inhabiting Anders, "Please hold all questions until after the demonic ass kicking."

Approaching footsteps and familiar – and loud – voices, stirred Fenris out of his memories. Turning his attention to the source of the noise, he sees Hawke followed by a laughing Isabela.

"The coast is clear or at least one side is." Hawke said with a grin plastered on his face with Isabela beside him, sporting a smile.

"And it becomes abundantly clear to me that what you two did was not what you said you'd do." Anders scoffed before turning his attention back to the elf, "Since Hawke is here. Messere Broody can heal your wound now? Or would you rather suffer your injury 'till tomorrow?"

The mage spoke often of his distaste for him, yet when he was injured. Anders would often treat him without Hawke request or command. If anything the mage was insistent, it wasn't special treatment by far. The mage was just as insistent when the others were injured.

"Worry not Fenris." Hawke said as he smooths his bedroll before turning his gaze to the mage, "If Anders hurts you, I'll give him a good spanking." Hawke teased with a smirk.

"Don't tempt me Hawke." Anders teased back with smile of his own.

Fenris turned away from their exchange and with an air of reluctance said, "Fine."

"Thank you, your grace. I am honored with your show of trust." Anders said sarcastically as he made his to Fenris.

Fenris steeled himself for the sensation of the healer's gentle hands, the lingering touch that would undoubtedly haunt his dreams tonight. It seemed most of his recent dreams revolved around the mage.

Carefully Anders removed the bandages revealing gash on the elf's back. It had been frustrating when Fenris wouldn't let him heal it. The elf was so fickle at times, one minute it's no, the next it was fine. If he had allowed Anders to use magic earlier they could be done with this and he could be sleeping by now, having wonderful dreams that may or may not involve a certain rogue with pie. But Fenris had to make things difficult. Suppose Anders should have just put the stubborn elf to sleep with a spell then heal him. However Anders was not eager to see how the elf would react if he did.

"Stop scowling. It could be worse. Hawke could be practicing his first aid on you. And we both know he does more harm than good." Anders said as kneel behind the elf and began his task. His hands hovered above the elf's back, emitting a soft blue glow that mended damaged tissue.

"I can hear you!" Hawke yelled indignantly sitting up on his bedroll to face Anders.

"I am aware you can." Anders admitted with a smirk.

"Fine, see if I ever help you when you're bleeding out."

"I pray you don't. I rather take my chances bleeding out, than let you bandage me."

"Fuck you!"

"Oh! I most certainly wouldn't say no to a good smiting." Isabela happily interjects. Fenris bites back a possessive growl that threatens to leave him. He did not want to give Isabela anymore friend fiction fuel. It was bad enough she wrote friend fiction of him and Donnic, much to Aveline's dismay.

"Isabela!" Both men chided her.

"What? It'll be a wonderful learning experience. Anders learns how to let his hair down as well as his pants. And you my sweet could learn the pleasures of bedding two very experienced lovers."

Hawke flops on to his bedroll with an exasperated sigh, "Goodnight."

"But the electricity thing, Hawke. We're missing out on magical sex!"

"Goodnight Isabela."

A chuckle escapes Anders as his magic fades, leaving no trace of the wound. "Done, see that wasn't so hard." Anders said, with that done the mage headed off to his own bedroll to rest until it was his turn to stand watch. Fenris paid no heed to Anders as the mage retreated to his bedroll.

Mages have always been a bane in Fenris's life. The constant tortures he had to endure under Danarius and Hadriana. Now the method has changed but still he suffers because of a mage, the demon may have caused it but Anders was the source. He often dreamed and entertained the idea of violently claiming the mage for all he had suffered due to mages.

"My, someone looks like he could use a little stress relief." Isabela said, sitting herself beside Fenris, "Wanna tell Isabela about it?"

"No."

"C'mon. I can't help you, if you don't tell me."

"Telling you will have the opposite effect."

"Fine, keep your secrets." Isabela said with a frown. Not enjoying the idea of missing something potentially friend fiction worthy, "Just get some rest. I've got first watch."

Fenris nods and he too settles into his own bedroll. Tonight he had restrained his demons and ignored the temptation. But Fenris knows one day his self restraint will wear out. And when it does Anders best hope he won't be alone with him.

End