I opened my eyes and immediately saw Edward sitting in a chair staring at me

I opened my eyes and immediately saw Edward sitting in a chair staring at me. I had gotten used to waking up to find him, in deep thought, and inadvertently staring.

"Edward." I said softly holding out a hand hoping he would come back and join me.

"I don't think I can do this, Bella" he said softly still staring into space.

I sighed and sat up, thinking of the best way to word it. "Edward, I've followed through on every single condition. I've heard everyone's stories, as you asked. Carlisle will be right next to you, monitoring me and making sure to tell you when to stop. We're leaving no room for error." I laid back down and he sat on the edge of the bed. "This is what I want."

"What if I can't stop? What if Carlisle tries to stop me and I rip him apart?"

"Emmett said he'd be there for extra muscle if you felt you needed it." I said confidently. Edward had always been against me wanting to be a vampire. To me it was the only way we could be together forever, not to mention that with my clumsiness I was surprised I hadn't died years ago. I knew what I was in for, though. There would be the pain first as the venom ran through my body changing my human form. Then there would be the thirst. I think the thirst made me more nervous then the pain. The pain I knew Edward could help me through, talk me through. The thirst I'd been told could be overwhelming. My self control as a human has never been very good, what would that translate to if I was a vampire thirsting for its first kill? I could only hope that the move to a remote part of Alaska was a good idea.

The whole family had come from Forks yesterday. Alice was so excited she had been almost bouncing off the walls. Esme was looking forward to having another added to the family. Rosalie still thought it was a bad idea while Emmett was ecstatic. Jasper was his usual calm self, a vampire of few words.

"I'm not afraid." I said pulling his face slightly towards mine. "I know you'll be with me every step of the way. Think of it as a late wedding gift." I smiled widely.

"I don't know, Bella." He sighed looking down at his hands. "I don't want to lose you." He said still staring at his hands. If he'd been human he would have had tears in his eyes the next time he looked up. "I am going to miss hearing your heartbeat..." he paused. "...and watching you sleep."

I gave him the most confident smile I could. "Edward, stop worrying. You promised, remember? You said that if I married you, you would change me. Then you said to give you more time, and I gave you a year. You said you wanted me to go Dartmouth, and we compromised and I did a year of college here in Alaska. Do I need to mention the Audi that we have parked in the driveway? I've given you what you wanted and then some, Edward. Now it's your turn to give me what I want." I knew that changing me wasn't the only thing that he had promised. I was a 20 year old married virgin, and I had to admit I was a bit excited that that small detail was about to be checked off the long list of things I couldn't wait for. The wedding night had been an interesting one, if interesting was even the right word.

As daylight began to fill our small house on the outskirts of our small Alaskan town, the Cullen's began to file in. Everyone seemed calm, though I think that may have been Jasper's doing. While Edward, Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle, and Esme, were downstairs, Alice and Rosalie were upstairs in the small bedroom helping me prepare. I didn't know what else there was to prepare. I'd never changed out of my pajamas, wanting to be as comfortable as possible for this type of occasion.

"Take this." Alice said holding her hand out. I looked at her confused.

"What?"

"Take this. It'll make your blood taste a little weird. Carlisle says that will make it harder for Edward to get carried away when he can taste the pain killers. It might help with the pain from the bite at first, but Carlisle isn't sure." She explained dropping the small white pill in my hand and handing me a glass of water. Rosalie gave me one last pleading look. "Bella, are you sure this is what you want?" I rolled my eyes wondering if Edward had somehow told her to ask me again.

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?" I said falling back on the bed again. The medicine Alice made me take was making me start to feel a little groggy. "I love Edward, and I want to be with him. I want to be with him forever, and this is the only way. I'm ready for this. I've only been waiting for three years." Rosalie rolled her eyes.

"I think we're all set." Alice said giddy. "Shall I go get the boys?" she asked.

"Yes, please!" I said sitting straight up in the middle of my bed. While I loved everyone, it was something I only wanted Edward in on. However, Carlisle needed to help Edward and Emmett needed to be there in case Edward got carried away. Everyone else was to wait downstairs. I watched Alice and Rosalie leave. A few minutes later Carlisle came into the room followed by Emmett and Edward. Emmett looked to be in a relatively good mood as did Carlisle. Edward's mood apparently hadn't changed since earlier this morning.

Edward had long been over the smell of my blood, but smelling it and drinking it were two different things. Carlisle was quietly going through the process one more time with Edward in the corner of the room. While they spoke, Emmett stood next to the bed looking at me.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"You're finally part of the family." He said giving me a bit of an evil smirk.

"Well, thanks." I said sarcastically. That was when Carlisle and Edward came over to me. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and let Carlisle check my blood pressure and other vitals.

That's when Edward sat on a stool in front of me and pressed his forehead to mine. I didn't realize I'd been sweating until I felt his icy skin against mine. "Are you sure this is—"

"YES" I said as persuasive as I could.

He put his head in my lap and I stroked his hair. I really wished that Jasper could be here to ease Edward's mind a little. "I trust you." I whispered to him. He looked back up at me panicked.

"What if I can't do this?" He said looking at me. "What if I lose complete control and kill you?" he said worried.

Carlisle put his hand on Edward's shoulder and spoke softly. "It's time".

Edward vehemently shook his head. "I'm not ready, I need more time. Just give me six more months, Bella, please." He begged. "Just give me more time to prepare." I looked at the panic in his eyes and took his chin in my hand pulling his face towards me. "I trust you, Edward. I know you can do this. If I'm not worried, neither should you." I whispered in his ear. I kissed his cheek, then the corner of his mouth.

"Ok, Carlisle, I'm ready."

Edward took a deep breath as he sat straight up. He gave me one last pleading look before looking at Carlisle who gave a small nod of his head. As Edward leaned in he whispered one last thing in my ear. "I love you, Bella; if something happens...just remember that I love you." I felt him kiss my neck, and then bury his face in my hair one last time. That's when I felt the bite, it didn't hurt as much as I'd imagined at first. I could feel the combination of blood loss and the medication Alice gave me. Feeling groggy and relieved at the same time I shut my eyes as hard as I could. As soon as it had started it was over. The room was spinning; I could hear Edward fall to floor nearby breathing hard. I let myself fall backwards. I could feel Emmett putting my legs up on the bed, and Carlisle checking my pulse.

The groggy numbness didn't last long. After a few minutes I felt the familiar burning on my neck. The feeling that it was on fire, and I tried not to scream, but what happened at this point was beyond my control. An hour later Edward was at my side again, holding my hand and telling me he loved me. I was glad I was kind of out of it because I knew his eyes wouldn't be my favorite golden color, but a bright red. Hearing his voice was enough for now. As the fire slowly spread through my body I could feel myself thrashing and screaming, and I could feel Edward holding me. The coolness of his body was the only good thing I remember. I heard voices as, over the next three days, my humanity melted away to immortality. The first time I woke up, Edward was sitting on the edge of the bed holding my hand. I opened my eyes slowly and looked around disoriented. Instantly, Edward stood up, yelling for Emmett.
"What's going on?" I asked wondering what the big deal was.

"We need to get you outside, you need to feed." He said as Emmett and himself pulled me from the bed.

"But I'm not—woah..." I said feeling dizzy. "I'm not hungry..." I said as they dragged me down the stairs at a speed that didn't feel as quick as it used to.
"Trust me, when you can smell it, you will be" Emmett said.

"What if I don't want to smell it?" I said remembering how the smell used to make me feel.

"It's not the same smell you remember, Bella." Edward said as they opened the front door. The air that should have felt cool didn't anymore. I was outside in a t-shirt in freezing temperatures and I wasn't cold. That was odd. Then I smelled something. Instantly the weak and dizzy feeling faded. I felt something else take over as I stood up straight. Edward and Emmett could smell it too.

"Go get it, girl!" Emmett said loudly as they let me go. I knew Edward must have given him a good jab in the ribs. Before I knew it I was running, following a scent that smelled like nothing I'd ever smelled before. It was incredible.

"Think we should follow her?" Emmett said.

"She'll find her way back." Edward said as he went back into the house. "She's one of us now."