A/N: I'm so sorry that I haven't been updating my stories. I'm starting new and starting fresh with all of this and trying something totally new. This story is going to be about my life, and how I'm dealing and it's Miley centric. There will be romances and heartbreaks but most of all, drama. Also, the characters are not like who you think they are in the TV show so if you are like a big Lilly fan, don't read this at all, but you might be interested in it since you never really read a story like this about Lilly. I understand if you don't want to read this but this is real life…not fantasy. I sometimes hate stories that always end up happy and leave it at that. So…this is my story.

Disclaimer: I Don't own Hannah Montana

Chapter 1: So it Begins

Some people think I have the perfect life, but what they don't know it is a complete lie. The Hannah money is going to my grandma from my mom's side of my family because she is having problems with her heart and is 89. I know, she is old but she can also be a pain in the butt. My grandma moved in with us, and even though you don't see her sometimes, she is usually in her room, in bed, sleeping. I feel like she doesn't love me because she treats my family like dirt. It's just horrible. My brother is in college and is doing fine, he doesn't know about this and my dad and I are planning not to tell him anytime soon. My dad, god, he always his leg cramps and spasms and I feel like he doesn't love me either. I feel alone all the time, and the truth is, I'm adopted. I just found out a year ago and I'm still in shock. Why didn't they tell me before? I feel like a part of me is missing and that my life is a lie all this time. But it's not the beginning of it. I'm losing my friends and strange thing is, Amber and Ashley are nicer than they seem to be. Lilly is the one that has been the problem and the other problem is, is that I'm in love with my best friend and his name is Oliver Oken. God, those eyes and that smile. I've been in love with him for a while, but I'm dating a conceited ass guy named Jake Ryan, he only thinks about himself and never about the other person. He can be sweet and nice at times, but then he totally changes into another person and that's what I don't understand. Jake told me he loves me, but in truth I love Oliver and I always will. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I either have to lead him on and lie to him or say I don't love him and be a jerk and break up with him with an excuse of 'you're a conceited ass'. Which is true. My other problem is, is that I used to cut myself. It was only a one time thing and I promised my dad it would never happen again, and so far it's going good and I'm going to a counselor now who practically knows me better than myself. It's creepy but I know I can always count on her. What people don't really know about me is, is that I always hide my depression with fake smiles and laughs. I only have one real smile and laugh. I've been avoiding my friends, Lilly and Oliver, for quite sometime now and they don't know I've been hanging out with Amber and Ashley, I mean, behind them, there are really nice and people don't know that. They have secrets behind their mean side and I feel sorry for them. Ashley is a cutter like me and has family crap too, I feel bad for her and she has it way more tougher than me. Amber has a sister and brother and they are really nice, but she lives with her grandma and that stuff. So, we just clicked in our own way and I just couldn't believe it. Who knew I would make friends with those two? It's just….strange. Ashley is dating Kyle and him and I are really close. We are practically like brother and sister, but I'm starting to depart from him too. It's just sad that way. Now, it's time for school to start and it's my doom right now. I got on black denim skinny jeans, black converse, and a burgundy tank top with a black hoodie. I sighed, this wasn't the same me last year, I used to be so happy and so…smiley. But then all of this crap happened and I couldn't take it anymore. But, I'm learning from things and realized I have been hanging with jerks. I mean, this guy that is "in love" with me is Lucas. He's a bit weird and all but under that he is a very nice guy. I feel so bad for him, because he has to deal with all the name calling and the fact that he is bullied. I feel bad for him and I bet he has as much crap as me. I walked in the school corridors and everyone was staring at me, I could feel them staring. It's always like this and I hate it. I hate who I've become. I'm emo in disguise and no one can stop me, I walk to my locker and saw the love of my life flirting with my best friend Mandy. God, Mandy doesn't even like him, she likes Joe Jonas, and she is like dating him. I went over towards them and say 'Hey' but they don't even notice me. I sigh and walked to class, another typical day of the life of an emo girl. Even though I look strong on the outside, I'm a vulnerable and scared girl everyday and the fact that I'm insecure about myself. I think that I'm ugly, fat, and just….annoying and a bitch. It sucks, and the fact that someone on myspace basically called me a whore, bitch, stupid, loner, and loser is just….hurtful. I walk towards Amber and Ashley with a smile, a real one, and said,

"Hey, how are you guys?"

"Nothing much Miles, but my dad doesn't want me to see Kyle anymore." Ashley said with sadness

"He can't do that, can he?"

"He can't stop me from loving him," Ashley said

This is what I love about Ashley, she can stand up for herself and she's not afraid of what people think about her. If anyone messes with her friends, she will beat the crap out of them. I know, not the Ashley you know but she's really changed and people are less afraid of her.

"You got me scared for a sec Ash," Amber said with a sigh

Amber is going through crap too and we are becoming close, I mean, it's like Lilly was holding me back from making friends and now I'm basically friends with anyone. Lilly was always the problem and I also found out she was a bitch, manipulator, liar, backstabbing, and clingy. Like I said, some things are left unsaid and I know you don't believe me but it's true. Lilly may seem nice and a sweet girl, but when you are not looking, she's like that. I just had to learn it from the cold hard truth. I just can't trust her anymore and Lilly is not over the fact that we aren't friends anymore.

"Yeah, same here. Oh my god, will she stop trying to make me be her friend again. I'm sick and tired of it"

"Sweetie, just give her time ok, she's going through a difficult time right now and even though we hate her and most of the school, she's going through a rough time too." Ashley said

Ashley always knew what to say and that's what I always liked about her, she can always comfort me at the worst times and we are going through crap together but we are fighting together and it's a bond that will never be broken. The bell rang and I groaned, this is going to be one hell of a day.

AFTER SCHOOL

Today was average, but Lilly is still stalking me though. It's creeping me out and Kyle is already creeped out about it too. You see, Lilly had a crush on Kyle and kind of expected him to cheat or break up with Ashley and he wouldn't do that, so yeah…the chips fell and Lilly's life turned upside down. I feel sorry for but she did this to herself. I was tired of her crap and she has to deal with it. Oliver is still flirting with my best friend Mandy and I just want to confront him and tell him that I love him, but I just can't. It's complicated and I didn't see Jake today so, yeah, I'm worried but I'm not as worried. I love him like a brother but nothing more. I have to break up with him and not lead him on like this and sadly, this is like the first week we have been dating. I feel bad, but you know, we are just not right for each other. I walked back to my house where everything was black, and only black. Suddenly, I found a photograph in a frame of me and Lilly and Oliver having our arms around each other and smiling, but that was 8th grade, and it's 9th grade now. I picked up and smashed it, it smashed into a million pieces. This is my life, a smashed picture that can never be replaced.

Hey guys, I'm so sorry about all of this. and this is going to be a real tough time for me to write this, but I'm enjoying it, because this is real life. It's not like a fantasy, it's real. Not fake. I'm thankful for all of the supporters I have and don't worry, everything will get less confusing in the end. I love you all!

xoxo,

Mickey