I never could have found the words to describe it. What we were…it was different. It was nothing like the movies say it should be, or like the books proclaim it is. It wasn't butterflies in my stomach or hearts doing cartwheels. It wasn't romantic candlelight dinners or long walks on the beach. It wasn't ordinary and it wasn't anywhere near pure. It was fire, longing, burning, madness, lust, breaking but more then anything else it was love. It was dancing on the inside and Frank at the Sands and maybe even the three stooges masks. It was never much. It was love.
"Wat'cha thinking about, Ace?"
This wasn't it. This should have never been. I just wish I had figured it out sooner.
"I'm tired, Logan…"
"Then go to bed."
"I'm tired of us."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"I can't do this anymore…I'm sorry."
I get out of bed and start throwing clothes into a bag, while he watches me, surprised and annoyed. It is me leaving.
"You're serious?"
"We were never meant to be. I'm sorry if I'm hurting you but I can't waste anymore time."
"But…I love you."
"I'm sorry."
It is me standing in the door and waving sadly goodbye to the cozy life I had next to the blond man still looking at me in disbelief. It is opened doors and breathing freely for the first time in forever. It is me driving as fast as the speed limit allows me to get to him. It is me, standing with a bag in my hand in front of his door. It is hope that it's not too late. It is me, knocking and praying that there's still a chance. It is his face and crooked smile and tired expression. It is the lack of surprise on his features, it is the fact that he always knew what I had just figured out, that we were it for each other.
"What are you doing here, Ror?" It is that syllable that I hated in any other voice then his.
"I miss you."
"Come in…"
It is a door shutting behind us and hope and unsaid promises.
It is right. It is love.