I wanted a divorce from her.
I had no clue as to why we even were at this stage but I do know that things escalated quickly.
For some reason I decided to listen in on the conversation she was having with the lawyer. I have no clue as to what possessed me but I felt the need to.
From where I was sitting in the hall I could see her face and the back of the lawyer's head.
They shook hands.
"Pleasure to meet you Mrs. Cullen." he said shaking her hand.
She smiled but it didn't reach her eyes. These days it never did.
"Likewise Mr. Thomas." She said shaking his hand.
Her voice was monotone.
"Please call me Andrew." He said sitting down.
She followed his move.
"Then call me Bella" she said with her hands under the table, hidden from my view.
"So do you want this divorce?" Andrew asked.
"In truth, I don't." she said sighing.
What?!? I thought she wanted this.
"Then why are you agreeing to this divorce?" Andrew asked clearly confused.
She laughed a humorless laugh.
" Because I love him, and I've always wanted the best for him and if this marriage is what is holding him back then who am I to interfere with his life?" she asked quietly.
"You don't have any say in this?" Andrew asked suspicious.
She smiled but it still wasn't a real one.
"Of course I do, he may want a divorce from me but that doesn't me he forced me into this, I made sure he thought this was a mutual decision, though how he believed that is comical because I can't lie to save my life. My husband was and still is attentive of what those around him want. He's extremely selfless." She said smiling wistfully.
"Aren't you also selfless?" Andrew asked.
She shook her head disagreeing.
"I've been selfish more than anything. I took his love for granted and to know that I don't have that anymore still hurts." She said softly looking down at her hands.
My heart still belonged to her.
She was extremely selfless not me. She loved me wholeheartedly.
He reached over the desk and stroked her arm and she flinched away cringing. I smiled to myself. She never let anyone except me touch her anymore.
"Alright you and your husband have been assigned to 6 months of separation." He said sifting his papers.
She just nodded.
"Goodbye Mr. Thomas." she said getting up and walking to the door.
He grabbed her wrist as she passed him. She glared at him, a glare she never used on anyone. He still didn't let her go though.
"When your divorce is final so you want to get together for coffee sometime?" he asked hopefully.
She smiled.
My breathing hitched. She wouldn't accept would she? What am I thinking? I won't have any ties to her then she is free to do as she pleases. Then why does it hurt so much?
"Mr. Thomas as much as I appreciate your offer I can't." She said wriggling her tiny wrist out of his grasp.
"Why not you'll be divorced from him." he asked incredulous.
"Yes I will be but that doesn't mean my heart will be in it. He will keep my heart forever whether he knows it or not. Also I can't be with you when I've already experienced the best. Im sorry I can't settle for second best. It won't be fair for me or you. Im sure you'll find a nice girl that will love you completely. Good luck Mr. Thomas." She said and then walked out of the room.
I didn't even know I had silent tears falling down my face until I saw her worried face as she knelt in front of me frantically wiping the tears away.
"Edward are you okay?" She said, her voice nearing hysterics. It was the first emotion I heard in her voice since I told her I wanted a divorce.
"I'm fine Bella." I said quietly.
She nodded and stood up keeping a distance away from me. I had initiated the distance first and she adapted to it. She always did what I wanted.
My extremely selfless wife.
Our family didn't even know what was going on at this point. As far as they knew we were still the happy couple that got married three years ago.
We walked to my car in silence and got home where she went straight to the kitchen to make dinner as usual. When I did smell dinner I got up and went to the kitchen just as she set up a plate in my spot.
She cleaned up her mess and ate dinner at the counter while going over some student's papers she needed to grade.
I sighed an inaudible sigh.
We never had a proper dinner together anymore. She washed her plate and took mine from me and I walked out of the kitchen to our or what was our bedroom.
She slept in the guest room now.
"Goodnight Edward." She said softly passing by me.
"Goodnight, love" I said before I knew what I was saying.
She flinched but smiled anyway.
It didn't pass my notice that she had tears in her eyes. She quickly stumbled into her room and shut the door behind her.
Later on that night she whimpered in her sleep muttering my name. She did this every night. I as usual went into her room and took her into my arms. This was our nightly routine.
"Don't leave me please." She pleaded sounding so broken.
I had to choke down a sob. Eventually she calmed down enough to rest and I lay beside her on top of the covers watching her.
This was the only time I could really look at her. In our 3 years of marriage never have I seen her face look so filled with pain even in her sleep.
After about half an hour I retreated back to my room and fell asleep.
When I woke up it was to soft humming from downstairs.
I took a shower, got dressed and went downstairs to find Bella making breakfast softly humming to herself.
When she saw me she blushed but handed me a cup of coffee just the way I liked it.
"I'll be gone by the time you come home." She said after a moment.
"Why?" I asked.
"We're separated now Edward and I have to move out, courts orders." She said cleaning her mug.
"Where are you staying?" I asked handing my mug to her to wash.
She wouldn't let me wash my own mug.
"Im staying with my grandfather, he needs some help and I'll leave my number on the fridge if you need me and my key will be on your dresser." She said finally turning to me.
I nodded.
"Goodbye Isabella." I said gathering my things.
"Goodbye Edward." She whispered.
This was finally it, our final goodbye.
When I got back from work the house was empty and sure enough her key and phone numbers were where she said they'd be.