Song Fic: Everybody's Fool
Author: Kinna
Warnings: MAJOR angst, OoTP spoilers
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimers: All characters here belong to JK. Rowling, and Bloomsbury retains the copyrights to them.
                   Lyrics come form the song "Everybody's Fool" by Evanescence.
                   "Imitation is the highest form of flattery." If you have heard that, you'd know I'm not trying to steal them, only expressing my admiration for them in my own  
                    way.
Author's Notes: Much thanks to Sewe for beta-ing this for me.

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perfect by nature
icons of self indulgence

When you told me we had to end this...thing we had, I was rather shocked, to say the least. After the shock came the anger.

I always thought that the perfect, kind Golden Boy would not dump me, that if anyone was to do any callous dumping, it would be me, the perceived jerk, brat, and whatever names others call me.

Turns out that you were ending it to marry the Weasley girl, to keep up the perfect image you held in other's mind. That's what I get for toying with perfection, isn't it, although I knew we would never have the perfect ending? The Golden Boy, vanquisher of the Dark Lord Voldemort, and the son of Lucius Malfoy, right-hand Death Eater of Voldemort. I should have known. Being saviour of the world, as we knew it, gave you the right to take anything you want, have any whim fulfilled.

just what we all need
more lies about a world that

never was and never will be
have you no shame don't you see me
you know you've got everybody fooled

The world didn't know about what we had. In the end, I don't blame you for it, nor was I going to tell anyone about it. I'll leave you to your happy life, I thought.

Isn't there a Muggle saying that goes: "Love is not possession. If you love it, let it go, and if it comes back, it's really yours"?

Well, I knew you weren't going to come back, but still I let you go. Because I wanted you to be happy, to not have to sneak around and hide a relationship your whole life. And partly, I guessed that you didn't love me as much as you used to say, or you wouldn't want to leave now. But it's alright, I won't hold on to something if it doesn't want to be with me anyway.

look here she comes now
bow down and stare in wonder
oh how we love you
no flaws when you're pretending

You never knew that I was there at your wedding day, did you?

As befitting your status, your wedding was grand enough that it had to be held outdoors. For some reason, I couldn't help but go and see you for one last time that day, even though it practically tore my heart out. I watched you take your wedding vows, and saw as you kissed the radiant red-head with the same lips that traced your professed 'ever-lasting love' into my skin. Indeed, I was quite tempted to jump off the building I was watching from towards you. The only thing that stopped me was the thought of the sight that would be left on the pavement beneath, and how it would definitely ruin what was supposed to be the first day of the rest of your perfect life. Not to mention your beloved Ginny might be so terrified that she'll faint and ruin her make-up, and there goes your beautiful bride.

but now i know she

never was and never will be
you don't know how you've betrayed me
and somehow you've got everybody fooled

After all that, it came as a shock when I read the article. The one where Ginny Weasley wrote an open letter to the International Wizarding Tribune, announcing that she had filed for divorce. I was sitting at a little cafe in Nice that day, and it cost me a mouthful of coffee, which I nearly choked on upon seeing the headlines. Your wife said that you hadn't touched her since the wedding night; that you couldn't stand her touch, and you had been moaning for someone else in your sleep. It took two years for her to figure it out. Not the brightest tool in the box.

You had been calling my name.

without the mask where will you hide
can't find yourself lost in your lie

The entire Wizarding World rose in uproar. As a small population, our survival is limited and can only be ensured if we procreate among ourselves and give birth to more children. The incidence of Muggleborns is too low for us to depend upon them to increase our numbers, and they often marry Muggles and gave birth to squibs anyway. Hence, homosexuality was, and still is, frowned upon, as it doesn't bring offspring. For you, a hero, celebrity and virtual icon, to be homosexual was practically unimaginable, and a great taboo.

Everyone had someone to blame for your "condition". It was your upbringing, the lack of a parental figure, the trauma of your life. It was anything but that you were gay. No one could accept you for who you were, for what you were. You preferred men to women. Just like me.

I debated for a long time whether to go and see you. I knew you would be receiving a lot of flack over it. I had agreed to leave you without fuss as I was afraid that something like that might happen had we stayed together and you wouldn't have been able to take it, but now... I didn't know if my being there would have made it worse for you, and if you even wanted me there.

The more I thought about it, the more betrayed I felt. If you loved me, why didn't you just tell me, and we could run away to somewhere where no one knew us and live out our days together peacefully? When I said "I love you" I meant forever. You didn't. You betrayed me. Your way just brought suffering upon both of us. In a way, you deserve it. I'm the innocent party.

i know the truth now
i know who you are
and i don't love you anymore

it never was and never will be
you're not real and you can't save me
somehow now you're everybody's fool

When I finally came to a decision, it was too late. Uncannily enough, at the exact time I apparated to your empty house, you had gone to Hogwarts, to the seventh floor Room of Requirement where we had shared our first kiss, and turned your wand upon yourself.

I remember that you once told me you didn't know if it was lucky for your godfather to have died before the relationship between him and the werewolf Lupin came out. I guess you decided that the answer was yes.

My presence might or might not have made the difference, but I guess I'll ask you myself when I see you in a while.

And I think I've told you before that the light of Avada Kedavra really resembles your eyes right?

THE END

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