Lily,
Congratulations on Head Girl.
James
Potter,
Why are you writing to me?
Evans
Lily,
Congratulating you, obviously. How have your holidays been? Excited to go back to school soon?
James
Head Boy
Potter,
I didn't actually intend to respond, but... you got Head Boy?
Evans
Yes, Lily.
James
Potter,
If you ruin this year for me, I will not hesitate to hex you into 1985.
Evans
Lily,
And here I thought we had long since become friends, or acquaintances at least. I may occasionally lean toward being mischievous, but my delightfully handsome self promises to behave. For the most part.
James
Potter,
Can't you just give a straight answer for once?
We aren't friends, per se, but we do tend to get along, I suppose.
Evans
Lily,
You know, you never responded to my questions.
James
Potter,
Holidays were fine, nothing much happened here. My sister has a boyfriend, both are exceedingly snooty. School will be a welcome change.
How were yours?
Evans
Lily,
Now I'm intrigued, please describe the snooty pair. You rarely hate anyone; I must know more.
Sirius and I went shopping for a motorcycle... for him. He intends to charm it to fly, but I fear that will not end well for anyone. He'll have to fly it the first thirty times himself, I think. Other than that, we spent some time with Remus and Peter, but Pete went away with his family recently and Remus has been sick. I, myself, cannot wait to return to school - to be away from the dratted motorcycle and Sirius' tinkering, and to see you once again.
James
James,
Petunia (my sister) and Vernon Dursley (her pompous arse of a boyfriend) are engaged. It happened last night. This morning I was treated to a play by play of their evening and the proposal. He took her to a restaurant and put the ring in her champagne glass. Could he have been any more clichéd? Petunia likes the colour pink - and basically any other pastel shade - as well as stability, the possibility of rearing her own children and Vernon. Her dislikes include me, anything magical and other people's children. I dread the thought of her looking after my children someday. Vernon works for a company that does something to do with drills. In case you don't know, drills are machines that make holes in the ground and in other objects. He likes money, spoiling my sister and eating. Wonderful pair, they make.
A motorcycle! How thrilling! I may have to borrow it from him someday. Poor Remus, I do hope he's feeling a tad better. Lucky Peter, where'd they go?
I'm going to ignore the comment about me.
Evans
Lily,
YOU CALLED ME JAMES. Thanks for that, finally.
They sure do make a pair. I am not jealous of either, to be honest. Is that a hint about the engagement? Would you rather I put your ring in the dessert or inside a snitch? And, might I add, our children will not be going anywhere near that woman. Honestly, as if she wouldn't make them wear pastels or shut them in a cupboard. What a horrid thought. Never fear, I will prevent that from happening.
JAMES
James,
An error on my part, I assure you. But, now that I've started, I may as well continue.
Our engagement? I think you're hallucinating there, James. And our children? You may have to go see a doctor.
Lily
Lily,
I deny that I need to go see a doctor. Sirius says I seem perfectly normal. He says hello, also.
As for our children, when the time comes, I believe you will be the one birthing the children, so it may be more prudent for you to see the doctor at that point. It would be awkward if I went alone, no baby - or uterus - in sight.
James
James,
You're odd.
Lily
Lily,
Thank you.
James
James,
Do you think we should plan what we're going to say in the first Prefects' meeting? I mean, before we're actually on the train?
Lily
Intelligent Head Girl,
Brilliant plan.
Equally Intelligent Head Boy
Deluded Head Boy,
Of course it's a brilliant plan, it's mine. I was planning on going to Diagon Alley in a few days, do you want to meet then?
Brilliant Plan-maker
Brilliant Plan-maker,
Of course, how could I not mention that fact? You are brilliant. That sounds fine, do you want to meet for ice-cream?
James
James,
...I do like ice-cream.
Lily
Lily,
Tomorrow at 1?
James
James,
It's a date.
Lily
No.
Not a date.
I didn't mean a date-date.
Lily
Freudian slip, Lil? Never fear, your brilliantly brilliant co-Head Student knows you love him, so do not feel you must keep it secret any longer.
James
Sod off.
Lily
All your insults from fifth year were truly meant as affectionate terms, weren't they?
James
Yes. I have secretly harboured a love for you for years. Now is the moment I have chosen for this secret passion to boil over.
Lily
You're funny. Are you funny? Are you joking? If you're not joking, you should tell me.
See you later today for our date.
James
I was joking.
I'll see you at our date.
Lily
IT IS A DATE.
Happy James
Sod off, Potter.
Lily
I'm thinking that originally your insults weren't heavily veiled expressions of love, but now they are.
James
It was nice to see you, you must remind me to look up that band the next time I'm in a record shop.
Lily
Will you go out on a date with me, Lily?
I already have, haven't I?