DISCLAIMER: Unfortunately I do not own Torchwood *cries* or the song! They belong to the BBC and Sam Cooke respectively.
This is my first fic so be gentle with me! Speaking of which...
Beta'd by When the Wind Stands Fair.
A Change Is Gonna Come – Sam Cooke
Jack stood outside the apartment, contemplating whether or not to knock, whether it was the right time. He made his decision, but his hand stilled before it hit the door. He heard the sound of music drifting out from the room, and a lilting Welsh voice caress the lyrics.
I was born by a river, in a little tent,
And like the river I've been running, ever since.
It's been a long, a long time coming,
But I know a change gonna come.
Ianto sat in his apartment; glass in one hand, three-quarters empty bottle of Jack Daniels in the other, letting the soft soul music drift around him. He found himself singing along, sneering at how much that song seemed to speak to him.
It's been too hard living, but I'm afraid to die.
His voice never wavered, but tears began to spill over his eyes at the line. All he had wanted for days now was just to disappear, go the easy way, but the truth was he was too scared. He didn't know why, but that primal fear gripped him every time he even contemplated it. Things were going to change. He knew that, but in what way? Was Jack going to come round? If so, when? And what would he use? Retcon or his trusty Webley?
Then I go to my brother, and I said brother help me please
But he winds up knockin' me, back down on my knees.
Jack. He would be the only one Ianto would have trusted, and the one who would eventually bring him down. Maybe that's what he needed - someone else to pull the trigger, someone else to stop him hurting. Because god knows he hurts. His body, his heart, he couldn't deal with it. No matter what Sam Cooke said, he didn't think he was able to carry on. All that pain, all the hurt and the anger. All that death. It had been his fault. All of it.
As the song drifted to its end, Ianto drained his glass and poured another, hoping the alcohol would numb the pain.
It's been a long, a long time coming but I know, a change is gonna come.