and so it is
the shorter story
no love, no glory
- Damien Rice, "The Blower's Daughter"
0000
"I wasn't in love with her. She was a human." Is the gist of what Garrus says when Sidonis finally tracks Garrus down in a dingy little bar in the wards.
Sidonis isn't sure who Garrus is trying to convince, and isn't sure if he believes Garrus or not. He always thought humans were oddly squishy and hairy, though the females were almost a rough hewn shape of asari. And Garrus was taking this much harder than if the human Shepard had just been an officer.
So Sidonis tries to prop Garrus up, sober him out, and remind him that if he was trying to reapply for C-Sec and Specter training, this was the wrong way to go about it.
Not that Garrus listens. Garrus was the sort that once something got into his head, not even a mass effect drive could wiggle it loose. But no one could say Sidonis didn't try. He could see Garrus was destined for something great. Greater than Sidonis would ever achieve (Garrus was a damn hero of the Citadel) and friends don't let friends join them in the mediocre pile.
But Garrus washes out of Specter and C-Sec, and not much later Sidonis leaves C-Sec to follow him. Someone has to look after Garrus Vakarian, if Garrus won't look after himself.
0000
"There's no red tape. My kind of place."
They go to Omega. Garrus wants to make a difference somewhere, anywhere. Sidonis just wants to make sure his friend doesn't fall off the deep end. This would be easier if Garrus didn't have a talent for finding the worst possible trouble, and then putting himself right in the middle of it.
This makes some of the local gangs pissed. But the humans of Omega start calling Garrus Archangel, and the name sticks and Garrus isn't Garrus anymore, he's Archangel now. Garrus starts disappearing into his armor and his weapons and Sidonis wonders if Garrus can see himself anymore. Sidonis wonders if Archangel sees Sidonis at all, always a few steps behind and watching his back.
0000
"I can't pay you."
"I say I want money?"
Archangel's first 'recruit' is an accident. They were meeting a contact in a small watering hole, and when fire opens from the streetside, Sidonis first thought the gangs were after them.
It turns out the real target was their waitress, who responded by pushing over a table for cover and throwing a flashbomb. They – the waitress included – kill the group quickly. After there is silence, the other patrons and staff of the bar having fled, and that moment of deciding if she's no better than the others.
But she stretches the corners of her mouth when she recognizes Archangel, and asks if she can help.
She says her name is Israfel, she is human, and her fur is the color of fire and copper. She is also so pale Sidonis thinks she may glow in the dark like a grub.
They don't trust her at first. They don't know her. But Israfel is friendly and generous with her time and what resources she has, though she does not speak of her past. At first Sidonis thinks she is brain damaged, until he realizes she has no omnitool, and when she speaks his own omnitool is not translating from a human language, but that she is actually speaking in Palaven to him, as best she can. She is an excellent shot with a pistol and can rig nearly anything to explode. Once they give her an omnitool of her own, she is fond of hacking into sound systems to confuse her pursuers.
Sidonis never manages to convince her to wear armor.
Not long after Israfel becomes 'official,' Archangel decides to expand their team. But Israfel was Sidonis' favorite.
Sidonis looks after Archangel. No one looks after him.
Israfel calls him "Luciel." Light-bearer.
0000
"See you on the other side."
Too late. He's too late. He gets Archangel – Garrus – away, but Israfel remains behind. Israfel was supposed to accompany Garrus, be out of harms way. But she doesn't wear armor and what was the point of taking her to a negotiation if Sidonis was backing Garrus up?
The mercenaries ignore his one condition – return Israfel alive. So she dies with the rest. Whoever he is now – Garrus or Archangel, Sidonis doesn't know anymore – eternal vengeance is sworn. Sidonis doesn't need to be there to hear it.
Sidonis disappears. His body seems to move independently of him, and he thinks he understands what Drell speak of, of the spirit and body being disconnected. He hears reports about Archangel's death, and even though Sidonis is still breathing, he knows the mercenaries got all of the Twelve in the end.
Everything gone. Sidonis thinks maybe he should feel something, anything. It's only the instinctive movements of self preservation that keep him from dropping, and the paranoia set in. How could no one else know what had happened?
Their eyes watch him. Judge him. Or he imagines they do. He wants to be judged. He wants it to be over.
Once he sees a human female with Israfel's fur – it's the right color, and even pulled together the way Israfel would do it – and the next time Sidonis wakes up it's face down in the same bar he pulled Garrus out of two years ago.
0000
Shepard steps aside and Sidonis wonders who is at the other end of the rifle – Garrus, or Archangel? – and decides it doesn't matter.