Madniss story for Skylar! Took me ages but I finally got around to it. Enjoy x

)o(

"Katniss, there is no District Twelve."

The words make no sense, they hover in the air between us for a few seconds that seem to stretch on for an eternity.

"I don't understand,"I say, but I do. My home is gone, wiped of the surface of the world. The Capitol has Peeta. All I have to assure me of Prim's safety is Gale's word, and who knows what is the truth anymore. But he wouldn't lie about that. Would he?

No, I decide. They told me about Peeta, they would have told me everything else while they have me where they can drug me into submission. Suddenly, I shoot up in bed, a thought in my head as clear as day, as cold and sharp as a shard of ice. Panic rises anew in my chest."Madge?"

Gale silently stares at me for too long and I know what he'll say before he starts speaking."I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Katniss. Town took the worst of the bombing. She's gone."

"No,"I say, because that's all that comes into my mind."No."

It can't be true, it can't be. It can't.

"Did you bury her?"my own voice reaches my ears somewhat distantly. I don't know why I ask, why it matters, it just seems important, somehow. Madge needs to have a last farewell. Like Rue. Something to make sure the world knows she was loved, meant something, not just a casualty in Snow's plans. Gale can't meet my eyes as he speaks."I – there was no time for anything – the bombs -"

"You just left her there?"I demand, and it comes out less as a question and more as an accusation. The look on his faces is that of a cornered, wounded animal, that of a tribute knowing it's too late to run. I yank the needle out of my arm."You saw her, though, didn't you? You saw her?"

He slowly shakes his head and I get out of bed, rummaging around for something, anything. I have to pull open multiple drawers to find something, but then I have a small scalpel in my hand. You'd think they'd learned their lesson and removed all sharp objects from the room...

Disregarding whatever Gale shouts after me, I storm back into their control room.

"Take me to Twelve,"I say as soon as I open the door and they spin around to stare at me. Haymitch groans at the sight of the knife in my hand."Take me to Twelve."

"There's nothing left there,"Plutarch says reasonably, getting up slowly as Finnick does the same. I know they want to take the small weapon from me. I press it to my own throat."Take. Me. To. Twelve."

Everyone just stares at me, dumbstruck. No one moves. No one tries to stop me. But no one orders the hovercraft to turn around either. I nick my skin for emphasis, a small trickle of blood running down my throat."Take me to Twelve now or you've had your Mockingjay for the longest time."

That, at last, does the trick.

Everything is in ruins. The mayor's house is a pile of charred rubble, flames still licking here and there. The smoke makes my eyes water. Or that's what I tell myself, at least.

"Satisfied?"Haymitch grinds out through clenched teeth next to me. His hands are balled into shaking fists at his sides. This is like the mine collaps that took my dad. My mind unstoppably goes back to that day and how they pulled out half-burned corpses and crushed bodies from under the debris. But they also pulled a man out after almost a full day and he was alive still, he healed. That thought crossess my mind a second before I fall to my knees and start digging, aimlessly moving the wreckage of what used to be Madge's house. Haymitch grabs my shoulder, forcing me to look at him."What are you doing? She's gone."

The obvious pain in his voice does not keep me from lashing out. I'm on my feet and pushing him in a split second. He's caught of guard and stumbles, falling. I tower over him, screaming."Not everyone's content to just give up! I know you're used to losing everything, tributes, family, Peeta! But are you really willing to give up? To give up on Maysilee's niece?"

It's a low blow, very low, far too cruel, but I can't find it in me to care and it works. Not only does he start digging alongside me, he somehow manages to convince Plutarch to give out orders for us to be helped.

It takes us hours but then, there is a faint, echoing sound. Metal on metal. Someone knocking, a call for help.

It takes us another two hours to reach Madge, but she is alive and that is all that matters. Not the cuts and burns on my hands and arms, not the disapproval of the soldiers from Thirteen at being held up, not the fact that there's soot in the cut on my throat and it burns like hell itself.

Back on the hovercraft, I curl up next to Madge in her hospital bed as soon as they are done taking care of her wounds. She has a concussion, a broken ankle and her left arm is badly burned, but other than that, she's fine. Well, bodily. We don't mention her parents, both burned to death, but the silence weighs heavily between us.

I slowly untangle her hair, picking out pieces of rubble and ashes from it, running my fingers through it in what I can only hope is a soothing way. I don't know what to tell her. I'm sorry doesn't seem enough. So I just continue to slowly pet her hair, humming to myself as much as to her as I do so.

I shot down the force field. That's why the bombs came. I as good as killed her family. I almost killed her. She should hate me.

But somehow, instead, me shifts closer to me, buries her face against my neck and sobs.

I sit on a chair next to Madge's bed in Thirteen's hospital. The beds are too narrow for me to sit next to her even though I would prefer that. She responds to my touch more than my voice.

The doctors say she's okay physically but in some sort of shock. So am I, apparently, or at least so I am told. The pain meds aren't exactly helping either of us to keep a clear mind.

"My name is Katniss Everdeen,"I start, a technique the doctors taught us."I am seventeen years old. I went into the Hunger Games. Twice. Our home has been destroyed. Our home was District Twelve. Your father was the mayor. You are Margaret Undersee. Everyone calls you Madge."

"Our cook saved my life,"Madge says, so quietly I almost think I imagined it for a few seconds. It's not that she interupted me, it's that she speaks at all. The two days since we pulled her out of the wreckage of what used to be her home, she has not uttered a single word."I wanted to go helped dad with mum. Bernard pulled me down the stairs to the cellar when the bombs started hitting. We fell. He broke his neck. I'm still alive."

That explains the body we found next to her and how she was even able to survive the explosions. She was underground as the bombs hit. My eyes are fixed on her face, pale and staring into the distance as she continues to speak."I could hear my parents scream as they burned. I still hear them. I still hear them, Katniss."

Prim and Madge are curled up on the bunk next to me, watching as I entertain everyone with Buttercup and our game Crazy Cat. I'm awfully aware of the way Madge flinches at every bomb that hits. It isn't just fear, I know, it's the memories.

"Prim,"I say as casually as I can manage,"You play with Buttercup for a while. He's your stupid cat."

I hand over the flashlight and take up Prim's spot next to Madge.

I don't ask her if she's alright; that's a useless question. I know the answer anyway. No one is alright these days.

"How bad is it?"I ask instead. She shrugs and I think she really doesn't know."Not as bad as the Games, I'm sure."

I frown at that. I hate when she does that. Act as if she isn't allowed to feel bad because I might have gone through something worse. Most of my family is still alive, though. The jabberjays in the Quell gave me only a moment's illusion of what is her horrible reality: Hearing does you love the most die and not being able to do anything about it.

The worst thing is, Madge actually believes that. That her pain should be brushed away in favour of mine.

"It's okay to feel bad,"I tell her instead,"Most of us do, you know."

She doesn't reply but she does grab my hand. And the next impact doesn't have her shaking quite as badly.

Her fingers are cool against my skin, like a soft wind, gently tracing the bruising Peeta's hands left there."What did they do to him?"

I can only shrug, because no one understands yet why Peeta would want to kill me. It was a good attempt, my throat hurts and I kind of wish I really were dead. Not so much now that Madge is here.

"It must have been bad if he would hurt you,"she says, then winces. She must have realised it wasn't the best thing to say. I'm already wondering what kinds of torture they put him through."I'm sorry."

I shake my head and grab her hand, holding her finger tips right where they are, against my bruised skin. I hope she understands; I was told I'm not allowed to speak.

She understands. Of course she does. Madge always does.

She stops speaking and continues to gently trace the marks on my necks, soothing my aching heart even if she can do nothing for the pain in my throat.

Madge leans closer, hesitantly, and then breathes a kiss onto my battered skin. Her lips hardly even touch my skin but it still shoots a jolt of electricty through my whole body.

She leans back, looking at me to gauge my reaction. I can only stare at her, her blue eyes, the freckles on her cheeks, her lips that seem to demand I look at them because I somehow can look nowhere else. I shift closer, my eyes fluttering shut of their own accord, an unspoken question.

Madge answers it with her lips against mine.

And there's something, something I don't have a name for, something I couldn't describe and don't know. But I know what it is. That thing that was always missing, whether it was Gale or Peeta who kissed me.

That's what I'm feeling now.

I don't really see Madge much after that kiss. It gives me a whole new thing to worry about. It's weird, and kind of nice, and kind of terrifying at the same time. I'm not just scared of the future, feeling guilty about what happened to Peeta and angry at Snow. I'm also blushing everytime Madge's name comes up in conversation, I'm tracing my lips with my fingers, lost in thought, I get anxious at the idea that she might be avoiding me. This might be what being a teenager is like in the Capitol. It seems such a silly think to worry about. Yet I still do.

I tell myself she's just busy. She helps out Mum a lot, gets trained alongside Prim. She and Delly Cartwright take turns helping with Peeta's treatment. In what little time that leaves, she helps Beetee and Gale.

I think Coin might have adjusted her schedule to keep us apart. The star-crossed lovers sold well among the rebells aswell. Maybe she doesn't want to mess that up, maybe she just likes making me miserable because I talked back once too often.

I hope that is what it is, not Madge avoiding me.

It feels wrong to watch them, but it has become part of my daily routine. Because I need to know how Peeta's doing. That he hasn't been destroyed in their attempts to punish me through him. And, all right, because I need to see Madge.

He's making progress, somehow. They play a sort of game where Peeta will tell Madge a memory of his and ask her whether it is real or not. The mention of my name rarely sends him into a murderous fit now, but he seems utterly indifferent to my very excistence.

"You used to tell people I was your brother,"Peeta says."Real or not real?"

Madge nods."Delly started it. Said we were all siblings. I think it was because I got jealous one day. She had Carwin and you Taftan and Rye."

Something like pain flashes over Peeta's face at the mention of his brothers. That's good, though, I am told. It means he is starting to react appropriately again, has his emotions in a more normal state.

"They say I loved Katniss,"he says, and Madge stares at her hands, replying very quietly."Real."

Peeta looks lost at this, nothing else. No anger, no recognition of his alleged feelings."Why?"

"What do you mean, why?"Madge asks. It comes out a little defensive. Peeta's eyebrows shoot up in surprise, he starts picking at a barely healed wound as he always does when he is confused, or angry, or trying to make sense of his waring memories."I never – I never spoke to her until the Games. Real or not real?"

"Real,"Madge repeats. He still looks confused."Then how could I love her? Really love her?"

"I don't know,"says Madge softly. I don't know either. How could we, if even Peeta doesn't?

He ponders her response and then seems to shrug it of."You love Katniss. Real or not real?"

I'm not close enough to see, but I'm sure Madge blushes."Real. We've been friends for years, Peeta."

He shakes his head."No, not like that. Like they say I loved her. That's how you love her."

Madge doesn't reply. Peeta grabs her hand."Real or not real?"

It isn't fair, because that's part of his therapy and everyone knows that every real or not real must be answered.

I think I should probably leave. She doesn't know I'm here. It's not fair for me to listen.

I stay anyway.

Madge's voice is barely audible as she replies,"Real."

Annie and Finnick are the most beautiful sight my eyes have been blessed with in what seems like forever. They are so happy, so very, very happy that I can't help the smile blossoming on my lips.

This wedding gives me new hope, somehow, as silly as it sounds. And when the dancing starts, it needs only one comment from Johanna Mason to sent me onto the dance floor myself.

I find Prim in the crowd and raise an eyebrow in question. To my surprise, she shakes her head instead of joining me. Then a mischievious smile spreads across her face as she nods towards something to my right. I turn to find Madge in the cornflower blue dress I took along for her when we went to retrieve a wedding dress for Annie. I felt silly at the time and I made Prim give it to her, but she looks so happy that I just know it was the right decision.

It's the first time we've managed to come this close to eachother since the day Peeta tried to strangle me. Somewhere, I'm sure Coin is fuming.

But I can't bring myself to care about Coin as I hold out my hands to Madge."Do you want to dance?"

Peeta shows up in the Capitol and I'm scared. I shouldn't be scared of Peeta, of all people, but I am. He sits down next to me and for once doesn't look lost."I saw you with Madge at the wedding."

I don't know what to say to that, so I don't reply at all. It doesn't deter him."I figured, whatever I felt, if I even felt it, it doesn't matter now, anymore. Because you have her. So maybe I'd rather not know. It makes things easier."

"Does it?"I whisper, because I can't bear him saying it if it isn't true. He smiles and looks like the old Peeta. Kind, sweet Peeta."Yes. I don't feel so conflicted when I don't try to remember. I'll just start out new, I guess. I don't want to kill you anymore, you know."

I can't help but chuckle."Thanks, I guess. That's good to know."

I don't know what I was thinking, going through with this insanity. It killed Finnick. It killed Castor and Leeg 1 and Messina and Jackson. I could have shot them myself and I'd be no more guilty then I am now. And those children... Oh god, the children.

The medics sweep in and my eyes land on two blondes, one much too small to be here. Suddenly, Madge freezes, picking up one of the parachutes in confusion. I understand the same time as she does; she was so disgusted by those traps Gale and Beetee designed.

She must scream something, because a few people around her look up at her, though her voice gets lost in the roar of everything happening.

She grabs Prim and forcefully pulls her away, dragging her into a run even as my sister tries to break loose, not understanding.

I'm running towards the barricade and they're running towards me, Prim having finally stopped fighting.

That's when the rest of the parachutes go of.

My skin is still an angry red, there's a spot on my cheek where you can see a bit of bone peaking through. Madge is almost as badly burned. Prim was hardly touched by the flames. Madge and I both threw ourselves over her small frame, instinctively wishing to protect her. But I can't stay in bed any longer. Something feels wrong. Haymitch hasn't come to see me in two days. In fact, no one has.

I stop by Beetee's shortly and then go to find Coin.

The control room is in pandemonium. Haymitch has a broken bottle in hand that he holds like a weapon, keeping Coin and her bodyguards at a distance. Both soldiers have their guns trained on him. That he's my mentor is probably the only reason he's still alive.

Johanna, Peeta and even my mother, who's shaking like a leaf, flank Haymitch; Madge and Effie – oh good gods, they finally found Effie – standing behind them as if there's a need to keep them guarded.

Plutarch is desperately trying to reason with everyone.

"She doesn't touch them,"Haymitch snarls, making a threatening gesture towards Coin. I quickly push myself into the space between them."What's happening?"

It's my mother who answers."That – that foul woman wants to execute Madge and your escort."

"I want to put them on trial,"Coin says off-handedly, not really refuting that she wants them dead."Everyone related to the Games and all those who worked for the Capitol." She carelessly gestures to Madge."Like her father."

"If you want to kill them, you have to kill me first,"I spit. Coin smirks at me."Do you think I wouldn't? You saw my bombs, there's nothing I won't do. We'll say you succumbed to your burns. Poor little Katniss, the sweet matyr, died to safe us all."

"Go ahead, then,"I say, stepping forward and grabbing one of her guards by the arm, pressing his gun to my forehead. He pales visibly."Ma'am, I won't shoot her. And that other girl never hurt no one. Her father's dead, isn't that enough?"

Coin pulls a gun of her own impatiently. I let go of her guard and turn to her."Go ahead. But there's something you probably want to see first. Beetee?"

There's a moment's confusion from everyone at me adressing someone not present. Then the TV flickers to life and they see what the tiny camera inside the button on my collar is transmitting. I smirk at Coin even though it strains my burned cheek and hurts like hell."Transmitting life to the whole country. Smile, Alma."

She screams in absolute fury. Peeta's quick enough to grab Coin's arm, pulling it upwards so the bullet soars over our heads. Haymitch grabs my shoulders with shaky hands, smiling nontheless."You really need to stop threatening to kill yourself, sweetheart."

"What?"I reply in fake-annoyance as her own guards handcuff Coin."It usually works."

We move back into the Victor's Village, the only thing still standing after the bombings. It's crowded as it has never been before. Mum and Prim take our old house, Madge and I pick another one for just the two of us, Haymitch's house turns into the most stylish home Twelve has ever seen under Effie's careful guidance. She can't just swap the Capitol for any old dump, afterall.

A fourth house goes to the Hawthornes, minus Gale who still can't look at our burns without being overcome by guilt. He moves to Two to help there. I think it's some form of penance in his eyes, but he does at least visit home regularly.

Peeta claims his old house and transforms it into a bakery. Delly spents a suspicous amount of time there even though they both deny anything going on. Not that I'd mind. Peeta deserves to be happy.

It takes three years for Peeta and Delly to admit their feelings for eachother, but by the time Madge and I are ready to get married, we have a tiny, two-and-a-half year old flowergirl tottering down the aisle before us, blonde curls bouncing and blue eyes narrowed in concentration as she scatters the petals as if it were some exact science.

Might be because Effie helped plan this all for us and Effie's schedules aren't divided in minutes but in seconds.

Haymitch walks Madge down the aisle, my mother walks me.

We have a best man and a maid of honour each.

Delly and Prim beam in their blue dresses, Gale and Peeta smile even while pretending to hate being in matching suits.

The Capitol can do anything, even give two women children that are biologically both of theirs.

The mere idea of children scared me for a long time, but Peeta and Delly's little girl and her two younger brothers aswell as my own nephew, who looks more like Rory than Prim even at only two months old, managed to warm me up to kids. And there's no more reapings, no more games. I managed to keep Prim safe through starvation, Hunger Games, rebellion and war. Why should I not be able to keep my own children safe when there are none of those threats to fear?

Madge is somehow completely calm whereas I fret over her at every second to the point where she takes to reminding me that she's the pregnant one and would I just calm down already. But she smiles every time she chides me, and I know she knows it's my way of caring.

Our girl wished for a birthday trip to the sea side with the whole family. That's all the Hawthornes (which now, of course, includes my sister), Johanna, the Mellarks, Effie and Haymitch, my mum, and Annie and little Finn, who of course already live by the sea side.

Little Finn's teaching everyone how to swim with Annie and Madge's help. Little Finn is eighteen and hasn't been little for a long, long time but he'll alwas be little Finn to me, much like I'll always be the girl to Haymitch and Peeta will always be the boy.

Some things never change, even if everything else is completely different from what it was two decades ago, when Prim's name was called at the reaping.

On days like this, I find my self thinking that maybe, the odds were in our favour afterall.