A/N: I'm rewritting this story! I'm pretty sure I'm just going to do AU stories from now on, because I've lost faith in the manga and anime of our beloved Naruto... and sorry for not updating! I died. But was resurrected by my trusted minions of YouTube! BAHAHAHA! :D Anyway, this is a majorly improved version of the original. If you have already read all the chapters I have out, reread them! I'm gonna change the plot around a lot and hopefully it will be more funny and detailed. Mmkay? Giggidy gigg...
-IT Fluff
. : T e e n a g e r s : .
. : C h a p t e r O n e : .
. : T h e G i r l N e x t D o o r : .
We all have our boiling points, in which are usually effected by our tolerance to life. Some are rather high, which usually result in back handing one another. But then there are others, like Sakura Haruno's, that are rather low. All through her life since she was maybe 12, her mother had had a new boyfriend every week and about a new husband every year. And now she had gotten used to it and realized there was nothing she could do.
Staying true to her pattern, her Mother was onto her 4th marriage, not counting her original father. And do to the fact that married people usually, hm, you know, live with each other, they were all now conveniently located in front of a moving truck on the coast of the Pacific Ocean.
Sakura had, since birth, been the average urban girl. Being born in New York was where her story began, then 4 years later she moved to Tokyo for her dad's job transfer. Then as of now, the pink haired girl found herself back in the states in the rich and well known city of Laguna Beach. It was amazing to be here, she knew that. Years ago her and her mother were fighting to keep the electricity in their house running. And now they were moving into this rich place where the beautiful people roamed.
She couldn'y help but inwardly point out the fact that the house she was stationed in front of was bigger than all the others she lived; by a long stretch too. She didn't know why. Wait. Scratch that. She knew EXACTLY why. With her Mom's recent promotion and step-Dad's owning of a major car dealership, she could smell the millions they now had within their grasp. It was finally time to put her, or more-so their, riches to work. Sure the stated situation sounds amazing, but the whole unbelievable feeling of self gratitude has a tendency to evaporate when you're forced to unpack your pack rat for a Mother's stuff.
With a sigh, the 16 year old hiked up the dry wall ramp that was attached to the back of the open U-haul truck. She was dressed in a dark denim mini skirt and a beige tube top from Abercrombie with a pair of American Eagle flip flops. Her mid back length layered pink hair danced around her shoulders and bounced with her movement with the small volumizing curls she had taken time to filter in that morning She entered the truck and boxes towered before her small 5 feet 4 inch figure and the smell of dust and cardboard filled the air. Sakura began to walk forward, but was stopped by a hard substance. Thus she conveniently fell flat on her face into a pile of hard boxes. She just laid there for a second, her pink hair barely visible through the brown that surrounded her. A muffled groan was then heard as she shifted among the cardboard.
"Whats the point?" She sighed as she sat up and pulled the boxes away from her. She looked ahead to see what had tripped her, only to find, guess what? A pink whale with carrot shoved up it's ass? That would make a good YouTube video, but no. Another one of the demons that were stacked all around her had tripped her and caused this inconvenience.
A box.
Sakura picked up the little demon and was about to stomp out of the truck, but she stopped in her tracks as she saw an angel looking at her as if she was an alien. His jet black shaggy hair danced around his forehead and onyx eyes, which were for some reason boring into her, as her breath hitched in her throat. He then squinted as if he was trying to see her better.
"U-uh..." She scrambled for words as her eyes made contact with his. Inner Sakura immediately went into fan girl mode and began fanticising about what he could, and hopefully would say:
"Are you for real?"
"You have gorgeous eyes."
and
"Does it hurt? You must have just fallen from Heaven."
And BAM! Poor Sakura Haruno was sold just like that, even though the words that were about to filter out of the boy's mouth, were the exact opposite of her inner self's interpretations.
"Are you partially retarded?" He questioned her. A record screech was mentally heard as Sakura blinked her emerald eyes.
"E-excuse me?" Again she was having issues with her wording. He stood up straight as his eyes opened fully again.
"Never mind. You answered my question." He stated, all while his face stayed stoic and pale. Words to say... words to say... what words did she learn in Kindergarten? She couldn't remember. Oh wait!
"W-w-what?" She managed to stutter out. The boys back had been facing her for the past few seconds of silence, but he now turned back around to face her.
"I said: Are. You. Par. Tia. Lly. Re. Tar. Ded? Habla english? Seniorita?" He spit at her. Inner Sakura went into seizure mode. Words? Words? How do you reply to an angel calling you partially retarded yet looking so innocent at the same time? WORDS PLEASE? Finally a phrase she said all to often popped into her head.
"I'm sorry." She practically threw them up, and regret immediately flowed through her vains. She then thought for a second. 'Am I partically retarded? God Sakura! Get ahold of yourself!"
He gave her that alien look again, and she just stood there.
"Alright. I'll try and speak your native language... eres Ami Haruno?" He asked her in Spanish, when she was American and spoke English. No espanol!This frustrated her. Not only the Spanish, but the fact that her mother, this Ami in which he was speaking, was 45! She was 16. Now Inner Sakura was pissed. Sure she wanted to lick chocolate off this guy's face, but she also wanted to break it in at the same time.
"Sorry senor. I'm Sakura. Maybe you should do that freaky squinty thingy more often so you can see straight." She almost yelled at him. He blinked for a second, but he didn't look the slightest taken aback by her comment.
"Sorry. I guess I should look for someone with less wrinkles..." He bit back at her in a rather ugly satirical tone. Sakura scrunched up her button nose and glared. She was about to begin cussing the boy out when a cheery voice rang across the yard.
"Sakuraaaaaaa-hime!" Her Mom, the woman they were arguing about her not being, called. "You can't be flirting with the neighbor boy yet! I get first dibs!" Sakura was sure that the whole neighbor, no, the continent, heard her. Ami, who was a pretty looking woman with blonde hair and green eyes jogged up to the truck and stood next to Sasuke.
"Um, Mrs. Haruno?" He questioned her with his eyebrows rasied.
"Yes?" She cooed at him and swayed as she oggled at him.
"My Mom wanted me to bring this to you..." He drifted off as he held out an expensive bottle of wine. She blinked at it then raised an eyebrow.
"And she wanted me to also tell you..." He was about to continue, but was interrupted by a loud screech.
"Damn it Sasuke! Don't beat around the bush! Ami! Sexy party time!" A black haired woman shouted as she popped out of a bush that was next to their driveway with a spatula.
Ami blinked and eyed the woman. The realization hit the blonde like a bat to the head.
"Mikotooooo! SEXY FRIEND!" Sakura's mother shouted and sprinted across the yard. The two women met in a bear hug and fell over onto the asphalt. Both Sakura and the boy she was guessing was Sasuke stared at them like they were insane. They rolled around then departed and begin a slightly civilized conversation.
"What have you been doing for the past 20 years?" Mikoto questioned as they sat on the drive way.
"Making babies! How about you?!" Ami yelled. She was too excited to talk in a calm tone.
"Same here!" The black haired woman yelled back. They both high fived each other and laughed.
"So we're having a sexy party?" Ami questioned her with a wide smile.
"Hell yeah! I got kegs in the basement!" Mikoto replied. They both squeeled and ran into the house next to theirs. Sakura blinked in awe. Had that just happened? It was now whale with a carrot up it's ass, but it was still pretty odd...
"Are you ready?" Sasuke actually spoke to her in a none rhetorical tone. She looked at him.
"Um... for what?" She asked him with an eyebrow raised. He turned around the face her.
"Paying for the gas it's going to take to drive both of our families to the hospital." He stated, not even a drop of sarcasm in his voice.
Sakura shivvered. What the hell are you talking about? Not at the thought of her parents being hurt! Silly goose! She's worried about the fact she's going to be broke!
$4.50 a gallon? Are you friggin KIDDING me?
--- Hours Later… About 8 pm…
"OMG Mikoto! George Clooney is SO hot!"Ami yelled with her words slurred while looking at Rolling Stone magazine, which happened to have George Clooney on the front. Her speech was horribly slurred as she oggled at the man.
"Eh, he's ok." Mikoto replied with a wine glass between her fingers, also drunk like Ami. "You wanna know who's really hot?" The Uchiha woman asked. Ami nodded.
"Tom CRUISE." Mikoto answered with a creepy smirk plastered on her lips.
"NO way! Tom Cruise is an evil egotistical jerk who molests bunny rabbits!" The blonde objected. Her new husband, Dave, spat out his Mike's Hard Lemonade.
"Molests rabbits?" He questioned. Fugaku, Mikoto's husband and Sasuke's dad, just raised and eyebrow. Sakura couldn't even hear their disembodied conversation do to the fact she was inside her home watching Dr.90210 on E!.
"Yeshh!" Ami boasted with the Rolling Stones magazine to her chest. Sasuke just shook his head.
"How about you guys do something, um, I don't know... productive?" He suggested in an annoyed tone. Mikoto blinked.
"Good idea, my son thingy! BEAR CHUGGGGG!" She shouted and began to gulp down her Budweiser.
5 minutes and many beers later...
"What do we want?" Ami asked through a red blow horn.
"WAFFLES!" Her husband Dave, Mikoto, and Fugaku shouted.
"When do we want them?" The Haruno woman shouted from the top of a table, her words more slurred than the last time. A sane person would have told her to get off because she was going to pass out at any moment. But then again people; the key word is SANE here.
"NOW!" The group chorused.
"Catch me butter cup, I'm flying to the gas station where the hill billies roam and slutty whores bone!" Ami whaled with Tequila in hand and fell off the table in slow motion. Dave ran towards her.
"Don't worry sugar lumps! I'll catch you and you're hill billy pig too!" He yelled. Dave was actually quite close to catching the woman, but it was too,
'thump'
late.
Ami laid on the ground for a few seconds, face down into the green grass of her backyard. Finally she sat up with a stoic expression. She looked at her wrist, which was broken in a fashion so that the tips of her finger nails her touching the back of her arm and the bone looked very disoriented. She stared and grabbed her arm.
"Hey, that's not supposed to bend that way." She came to the conclusion.
"You're like, elastic girl!" Mikoto whaled. Ami smiled and jumped up.
"Hell yeah!" She shouted.
"Oh yeah! My wife's a super hero!" Dave whaled. Fugaku glared.
"Mikoto, jump off the table and get super powers now." The brown haired man ordered.
"Okay!" Mikoto chirped and did as told.
'thump' And soon Mikoto and Ami both had horribly fractured dislocated arms and were self proclaimed super heroes.
---
Sakura sat alone and quiet on the leather couch as she eyed the flat plasma screen TV in front of her. The sound of a doctor talking about a face lift was the only thing heard in the room, until...
"I am woman! Hear me roar!" They chorused.
"Go elastic girl!" Dave whaled. Sakura looked at the glass door that lead outside for a moment. Sasuke then walked up to it and slid it open. He poked his head in.
"Get your wallet. I need that gas money." He stated, then popped out and shut the door. He left without another word.
"Shit..." Sakura mumbled and reached in the pocket of her jean skirt. She found her wallet then walked outside.
What she found was truly an odd scene. Fugaku had a lamp shade on his head and was wondering around singing Brittney Spears songs.
"Womanizerr, womanizerr, woman woman woman... I FERGOTTEDED THE REST!" He shouted.
Mikoto was running around singing with Ami. Ami was singing with Mikoto and screaming 'Let's have a wet t-shirt contest!' and was damn close to being topless. Then Dave was chasing after Ami and chugging down more beer while yelling "Spider pig! Spider pig! Does what ever a..!" Then he abruptly burped.
Ami stopped in her tracks and stared at Sakura. She smiled.
"Hey Sakura! Look! I'm elastic girl!" She whaled and showed Sakura her hand. Mikoto did the same.
"Same here Sasuke! You should be proud of you're Mom!" Mikoto yelled. Sakura's eyes widened. Sasuke just sighed and shook his head.
"Mom! You're not elastic woman!" She shouted and ran to the blonde haired drunk. Ami glared as Sakura picked up her broken wrist.
"For once miss special ed here right." Sasuke agreed.
"You're just jealous because you don't have super powers!" Ami yelled at the teens.
"Mom. You broke you're wrist. Same with you Mikoto." Sakura sighed.
"Oh really? Prove it!" Ami challenged. Sakura groaned out a 'fine' and flicked Ami's wrist. "OW!" She whaled.
"See?" Sakura mocked.
"So what if I did? " Ami replied with a pissed of look on her face. She was refusing to make eye contact.
"Since Sakura's paying me, we're taking you two to the hospital." Sasuke cut in and picked up his mother bridal style.
"Let go of me Sasuke Uchiha! This instant or you're grounded!" Mikoto yelled and slapped Sasuke's arm.
---
Finally the group of 6 arrived back in the neighborhood after a long trip to the hospital. Both Mothers had to have their wrist relocated and will have to have casts on for 3 and a half months. Sasuke and Sakura had already departed and were now at their homes.
Sakura slammed the door to her disorganized bedroom and lied on her bed that still had no frame do to the fact it was still in the storage truck. So all she would be sleeping on is a mattress with sheets.
She let out a groan as she recognized tomorrow was the first day of school. Not even having the patience to pick out an outfit, sleep had soon enveloped the girl in sleep with dreams filled with drunken Ami's and Mikoto's everywhere.
---
'Beep!'
'Beep!'
'Beep!'
"Go away…" Sakura growled and rolled over on her side. It was that damn alarm clock again.
'Beep!'
'Groan.'
'Beep!'
'Louder Groan.'
'Beep!'
"Fuck you, you piece of worthless shit!" Sakura whaled and picked up her alarm clock and threw it up against the wall. Alarm clocks had always antagonized her.
Sakura managed to slump down her long case of stairs and into the kitchen. Her parents were likely still on a hangover and were asleep. It was so predictable.
It wasn't till 15 minutes later had Sakura sat down with her breakfast had she noticed the time. It was her first day of high school, and it started in 15 minutes.
---
~ SYLH
(See You Later, Hoe.)
A/N: So that's the rewritten and revised edition of Teenagers: Chapter One – The Girl Next Door. So it pretty much has the same idea, but at the same time it doesn't. I really got lazy halfway into this and stopped changing a lot of it. So the whole drunk sexy party part is almost identical from before. Please review! I'll be updating soon since I'm resurrected. :) After I revise the other chapters too, of course. I think Sasuke is a lot more in character too, give me your opionions on that as well please!
I lizove my reviewers.
They are sexy beasts!!!
-IT Fluff