Aric only cries at night.
At night as he sleeps, he is overcome by memories of her and he allows himself to feel. You can't have feelings during a mission, it makes you sloppy. And when you're sloppy...you come home in a body bag.
Aric Jorgan loved once, but a broken heart is hard to heal.
When they transfered her to the Deadeyes there was total fanfare. Everyone called her a prodigy. Sixteen years old and the highest scoring marksman at the Academy, she was born for the Deadeyes.
"Jorgan I'd like you to meet your newest squad member."
She was tiny but all muscle. At first glance Jorgan could see why many around the Galaxy were fond of twi'leks and their bright colored skin. Her's was bright orange like the suns of Tatooine and he couldn't help but be fascinated by the black spirls going down her lekku.
"Name's Sargeant Ka'ra Onasi sir! But you can call me Ruin."
He pulled his CO aside.
"She's only a kid."
"Jorgan, they call her Ruin because in her last command at Balmorra she was a one-woman killing field. Highest scoring marksman in the Academy and have you forgotten the stock she comes from?"
Of course he hadn't. The Onasis were some of the highest warrior stock in the Republic. They had a centuries long history of service to the Republic as Jedi and soldiers.
"This is...she's...Jacobi's sister?"
Jacobi Onasi was Havoc Squad's sniper. The highest ranked in the entire Republic Military. But he had been killed during The Sacking of Corsucant by a Sith named Darth Malgus.
"Just please Jorgan. Promise me you'll be nice."
"Yes sir."
She lived up to her name on their mission to Tatooine.
"Onasi you're not tired?" he asked her as they trudged through the desert one night.
"No sir. I spent many years hiking through the mountains back home."
"Really? Where's home?"
"Telos IV sir. Members of my family have lived on Telos IV for centuries."
He nodded, taking in the information. "I heard that there were six Onasi siblings that originate today's line."
She smiled. "Kai'zen, Cera, Nima, Maxim, Carth and Kota. My family are descended from Maxim. My father is named for him. Kai'zen was a Jedi so Maxim inherited our family's estate on Telos where I was born."
Her green eyes lit up in the dark as she spoke of her history. She knew these facts well, and recited them with ease.
The squad decided to set up camp in the desert for the night.
"Ruin you going to bed?"
She smiled. "No sir. My brother always taught me that one must never let their guard down. I'll keep watch."
She was a sight. A beautiful young girl setting up a sniper rifle as big as she was. It was an amusing thing to watch as he fell asleep.
They woke up the next morning to the smell of fire. Acrid, stinging the nose.
Jorgan jumped up off his sleep cot to find Ruin off to the edge of their camp lighting a pile of bodies on fire.
"Onasi! What the hell happened?"
She turned around and saluted. "Sorry sir. These Sand People were setting up an invasion into our camp. I took them out. But take a look at these weapons they were carrying."
She indicated a pile of rifles next to her makeshift funeral pyre.
"Imperial grade. Damnit!"
"What's the plan sir?"
Her green eyes lit up with the question and his heart skipped a beat.
"We crack heads Onasi!"
She smiled, such a beautiful smile she had.
"Yes sir!"
He didn't fall in love with her until much later after they had been on countless missions together. He fell in love with her warrior's heart, her smile, her zeal for life and her loyalty to the Republic.
And then there was the mission where he almost died.
An assasination of a powerful Moff that ended up going sour. The Sith knew they were there and sent a powerful warrior to protect the Moff. Damn Sith stuck him in the chest with his lightsaber.
When he woke up, he was in a Republic Hospital on Taris.
"Aric, thank the force."
Ruin sat by his bedside and when he took one look at her he could tell she hadn't slept for days.
"Ru-Ruin, what happened?"
"The Sith knew we were coming for the Moff. One of them got you with his lightsaber nd you almost died."
His head was spinning at the memories.
"The others? What...what happened to the Squad? Where are the others?"
She looked down at the ground for a moment before answering. "They're gone sir. When we were leaving the Moff's ship, we got ambushed in the hangar. The others told me to take you into a shuttle to escape."
Tears started to fall from her eyes. "I should've helped them. I should've stayed. My father always said to never leave comrades behind."
"Hey, hey" he soothed grabbing her hand and calming her. "You saved me. You didn't leave me behind. Come here."
He pulled her to him and held her close on the bed. She cried against his shoulder as he whispered calming words into her ear.
As he wiped her tears away she looked up at him, those green eyes that he adored shining brighter than any jewel.
"Aric" she whispered. "I love you."
And as Aric lays in his bunk at night, remembering his first love, tears fall from his eyes. It's the only time he allows them to fall.
"I love you Ruin."