One bright day in Valoran the champions were sitting around being losers like they always do. Then suddenly Katarina popped up and screamed, "I WANT A COCK!" So she ran off to Urgot who gladly gave her his because it was useless. Katarina then tried sewing it on her cooter and died because you can't just sew shit onto you without DOCTORS AND PEROXIDE AND SHIT!
Garen was in his room dressing up in Lux's panties and makeup while calling himself a sexy e-girl. While this was going on Darius had obtained viagra but it wouldn't cure his phimosis, he came to this realization and cut his wrists open.
Jayce was taking a piss and Heimer bit his dick off. "Mmm liquid mustard with ketchup and a hint of cheese, my very very favorite hotdog," he said ignoring the gallons of blood spurting on his fro.
CertainlyT was in his room blackmailing Yasuo into giving him a blowjob unless he wanted his Spongebob rule 34 stash revealed to the world. A single tear was shed that day.
Teemo got pregnant and exploded with enough force to wipe out a small city.
Lucian walked into his room and saw Thresh complexly naked and laying in bed rubbing his fat nipples. Lucian projectile vomited with enough force to launch himself into orbit and died because going into space without a helmet isn't a very good idea.
Master Yi tried to use his sword as a buttplug and it didn't go too well.
Tyler1 made midget noises, Hashinshin bitched about bruisers or whatever, Nicktron cried in a Greek accent, bronze called bronze bronze, and Pokimane took her rightful place as queen of League, all in all just a normal day, until Nami got pissed off about something and drowned Lulu.
THE END