AN: Inspired by a hindi song called "Main rahoon ya na rahoon"(Whether I remain or not remain) Rights are of the songmakers, not mine. I'm fortunate to have a chance at rendering the song to a Harry Potter fanfic. Do tell me what you all thought of it.
Harry Potter sat at the small cliff overlooking the sea, and relished in the fresh breeze which blew his hair across his face. It had been years since he had been rid forever of the Dark Lord; that worry had long gone from his face, and had let the lines around his eyes prematurely set in, results of the strain of rebuilding the Wizarding World after the carnage of the battle of Hogwarts. Presently though, he felt strangely at peace.
The little boy behind him was observing him for quite some time, and seemed to be biting his lips in preparation of something to say. And he did say, but not before he jumped onto Harry's back with an adorable squeal, which immediately lit up Harry's face in a smile at the anticipated embrace of the child.
"I have a problem." The ten-year-old boy said, trying to make his brown eyes look all serious.
"Hmm?" Harry smiled at the little tyke.
"I like somebody."
"Do you now?" Harry asked, enjoying the way the conversation seemed to be going.
"Umm..yes." The boy said. Then he leaned in and whispered in Harry's ear, "It's a friend. Like, girl-friend-like friend." At "girlfriend", he giggled, as a teasing smile graced Harry's face. Harry gave the little boy a squeeze.
"So?" He probed.
The child squirmed and made a face. "It's complicated." Harry burst out laughing at the adorable pout the boy tried to adopt, evidently copying some of the adults he knew.
Harry smiled, and motioned for him to sit beside him. "It's not complicated at all," Harry said to the boy. "It's Love." He simply said.
The boy's eyes went wide. "Love?" He squeaked. "Have you ever loved?"
Harry smiled wryly, and nodded yes, then nodded no, and said, "Uh huh. Why the past tense? I still love, and will continue to love forever."
The boy again jumped into his arms. "Tell me the story!" He demanded.
Laughing, Harry relented, and let his memories shift back many ages, as he told a story to the ten-year-old boy.
(line break)
Whether I remain, or never remain, let you be always over there. This seemed to be on Harry's mind every day when he saw her, in the halls of Hogwarts, in the common room, in the Library, worrying over the correct length of her potions essay, but also integrally playing her part in her existence.
He did not know whether he'd live or not; there were high chances that he might not make it with the clash with his archenemy. But he found himself wishing he could give all his years spent in Hogwarts just to look at her for one more moment, to drink in her sight.
He remembered the first time he had ever taken up on a broomstick, and she seemed to have relented because it was only him. He still remembered the way their heartbeats mashed together, and how he could not tear his eyes away from her, afraid that it was a dream and would break apart like a glass castle if he looked away, as she closed her eyes and inhaled the fresh breeze as they drifted over Hogwarts.
These days, at nights when he couldn't sleep well and tortured dreams of deaths of loved ones assaulted him, he prayed fervently that she be the only thing in his sleep. When she came into his dreams, he would sleep the best. He had never really believed in any God; but he found himself praying to no one in particular, but still playing, that even in his last, eternal sleep, he be given the chance to dream of her.
When she angrily told him that she was coming with him on the horcrux hunt, he was overjoyed as well as fearful. He was selfish and selfless. Selfishness won out. She was there, in the perils of the world, with him, and he was there, alive at the very sight of her.
(line break)
When you soak yourself in the welcome rains, think that I am still there in each drop of water, Harry wished as he saw her twirling in the rain outside the tent; one friend had already left them, and his heart hammered at the thought of she leaving him.
He wished to be there forever for her; in rains as well as in sunshine, in every rays of light that touched her as she warmed herself after a long winter, stretching gracefully at the verandah of the Shell Cottage.
Whether I ever say anything, or never say anything to you, Harry thought as he drank in the sight like a man clutching for help while drowning, please sense me all around you. Everything I want to say is around you, waiting to be heard. Please listen.
She turned her head towards him, and smiled at him, and he smiled back. She suddenly leaned to one side as if to hear something, and Harry's heart hammered in his chest at the thought of her sensing his deepest secret. But no.
It was only the chirping of a bird that she listened to, as she excitedly pointed the creature out to him.
(line break)
"I could never work the courage to ask her, you know," Harry said with a smile, to the boy, who was listening with rapt attention.
"So she didn't know?" He asked.
"Oh, I think she knew. She knew possibly everything." Harry smiled and looked at the sea again, and breathed deeply. "I wanted to say to her, that you're not my friend." Laughing, he added, "You're my girlfriend."
The boy jumped up. "I knew! You had to have a girlfriend!" He exclaimed triumphantly. Harry smiled at him, and motioned for him to sit down. "The story's still on."
"Tell me!" The boy demanded.
"I am telling." Harry said.
(line break)
They flew on the dragon's back, and Harry inhaled the sweet smell of her hair that wafted towards him as it blew towards him. She turned her head, and smiled at him in relief at their escape. He reached out a hand, and tucked in a strand of her hair, behind her ear.
She turned her head away again, maybe to attempt to direct the dragon to a destination.
I'm scattered in the wind, Harry thought. And my existence will end when I touch you. This equation has too many unknown variables.
Love can destroy Voldemort, Harry wryly thought.
Who knew love can also destroy me?
(line break)
He had to find her. Hogwarts was falling. The Death Eaters were pressing forwards. He had to tell her. He couldn't die without telling her what he felt about her. He had to tell her.
He knew, that his two friends were in the Chamber of Secrets, destroying the Chalice of Hufflepuff. The way wasn't a problem for him, and the parseltongue command still worked, and as he whispered "Open" to the gilded snakes in the entrance to the Chamber, and the chamber opened, he cast a quick cleaning charm on himself, and tried to straighten his messy hair. This was an important occasion. He couldn't bungle this on his perpetually dirty attire.
I'm just a breeze passing you by, he thought as the door opened. If your heart wants to, stop me. I'll be immortalized in that moment when you smile at my love.
And as the door opened, with a deep breath, Harry strode in, nervously trying to flatten his hair all along.
(line break)
"Then? What happened then?" The little boy practically screamed at him, annoyed by his stopping.
Harry had stopped for a reason. The boy turned his head to follow Harry's line of sight and broke into a smile at the person he saw.
"Harry!" There she stood, brown eyes awash with love as she called out to the little boy. The boy's much older namesake laughed, and ruffled his hair, and then looked up and smiled at Hermione, who folded her hands to try to give an impression of scolding, but broke into a smile at him nevertheless.
"Mommy!" The boy yelled happily, and rushed to her, and with more delight as he saw the person who emerged, standing next to her.
Ron laughed boisterously at his son, and opened his arms wide, "C'mon, my boy!" He said with a wide smile, as the boy jumped into his arms.
Ron waved at Harry, who waved back.
"Stay for dinner, Harry?" Hermione asked.
"Nah." Harry smiled away the invitation. "I'll sit here a bit, Hermione. I've work to do back home. Tell Ron hi for me, and sorry I couldn't stay for dinner."
Hermione's brow creased as she thought she detected a small sadness in Harry's smile. "Your godson loves you, Harry. Ron sometimes complains that his son loves you more than his father." She laughed.
Harry looked back at her, and smiled too. "I know. See you, Hermione."
"See you, Harry." She walked away.
As the Sun set over the horizon and the sea blew a fresh wind to him, Harry leaned back and smiled widely, a bit too widely at all his surroundings.
Whether I remain or not remain, you'll always remain in me somewhere.
Always.